We live in a world where standing up for what’s right can often lead to mockery. Staying chaste has suddenly become old-fashioned. Integrity is gradually disappearing from the body of Christ. I can only imagine the challenges Daniel must have faced from his people. They ridiculed him, laughing at his convictions and calling him foolish. They must have wondered who would reject the King’s food and wine.
Daniel and his companions were in a foreign land, victims of war. No pastors or fellowship coordinators were watching over them. No one would correct them if they strayed. No parents to guide or direct them in the place where they found themselves. They were far from home, far from their mentors and spiritual leaders, with nothing to lose.
Yet, the Bible tells us that Daniel made a firm decision in his heart to be different. He decided to uphold his foundation.
Daniel 1:8 (ERV) But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.
It all begins in the heart. As we’ve heard before, no miracle happens on the altar. If you are bitter and selfish as a single person, marriage won’t change that—it will just magnify those traits. If your heart is not in the right place when you’re single, you’ll carry that same misalignment into marriage.
This is why Proverbs warns us about the “strange woman” and the “wicked man”, those whose lips speak deceitfulness. This is why you cannot allow “hot legs” or “deep voice” to be your leading factor in asking for or giving a YES. What is the state of his/her heart?
There will come a time when you’ll be far from the watchful eyes of those who usually guide and encourage you. A season will come when, like Daniel, you’ll be in unfamiliar territory. The question is: when that moment arrives, will you compromise, or will you stand firm in your values? Will the wind blow you away, because of a weak foundation?
The most crucial element in relationships and marriages is perhaps direction.
Knowing who to date.
Knowing who to go out with.
Knowing who to get married to.
Knowing where to settle down.
Knowing what kind of career path, job, or business endeavor to pursue.
Knowing how many children to go for.
The list goes on and it’s endless.
The greatest secret of resounding success is the direction and knowing specifically what to do.
We know that there is a template or blueprint that God has for us individually and for our relationships and marriages. Plugging into this specific template eliminates most issues that might arise.
How do we get to a place where God directs our paths?
That is what I want to show you this morning.
Pro 3:5 (KJV) Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
The greatest enemy of having God direct us is twofold from the above verse:
~ When you don’t trust God with all your heart
~ When you lean or depend on your understanding.
The next verse tells us precisely what to do.
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Did you see that? Acknowledge Him in all your ways and the next thing is that He will direct your paths!
How do you acknowledge God in all your ways, especially in relationships and marriages?
Put Him first place in your life. Put His Word first place and honour that Word by reading and studying regularly.
Talk to Him before every decision, both minor and major decisions! Let Him be involved all the way.
When you include God this way, He promises that He will direct your paths.
As I close, let us take a look at that same verse in The Amplified Version:
Pro 3:6 (AMPC) In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
I pray that God will direct your paths indeed! He will give you the wisdom needed to be able to acknowledge Him in all your ways!
The fact that God Himself instituted marriage is enough reason that your marriage will be great if you cooperate with Him.
He originated and instituted it. It was His idea, he was the one who said:
Gen 2:18 (KJV) And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
God started the idea of marriage. It is wise to consult Him all the way! He has the template. He owns the blueprint. Forget about being romantic, go after His wisdom if you want to have a great relationship or marriage.
2. Go for knowledge
It is not enough to be a Christian or a believer, you have to go for knowledge in the place of marriage!
In schools, you learn, graduate, and get a certificate. In marriage, you get a certificate on the day you resume, and then the learning begins. You never graduate; you keep learning, and you must be open to learning and adjusting all the way. In marriage, you cannot insist on your own!
3. Get Mentors
Who is your relationship mentor? Who is your marriage mentor? This is important to avoiding the tormentors of life!
Those who have been married for several years have done what you are trying to do! It is a lot of wisdom to have somebody you are talking to!
Beware of an intending spouse who has no authority figure over him or her!
That is not a good sign!
4. Don’t joke with Prayers
The last reason I want to discuss today to ensure you have a great relationship or marriage has to do with prayers.
Pray very well and pray very hard!
Pray at all times committing your ways unto the Lord!
Acknowledge God in your prayers concerning your decisions!
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Dating discipleship is about seeing your relationship as a way to grow closer to God and each other. It’s intentional, faith-centered dating that moves beyond simple activities to a deeper spiritual connection.
2. Recognize Why Shared Faith Matters
Sharing a faith foundation creates alignment in values and goals. With God as your base, you gain a toolkit for tackling challenges together, helping both of you stay grounded and connected.
3. Set Spiritual Goals Together
Set goals beyond everyday plans, like praying, studying the Bible, or serving together. Spiritual goals, even in small steps, deepen your bond and align you with God’s purpose.
4. Work on Growth Together
Challenges will come, but a shared faith gives you the resources to handle them. Communicate openly, respect each other’s journeys, and seek guidance from mentors for a grounded, faith-based approach.
5. Enjoy Faith with Fun
Balance spiritual growth with fun! Try daily devotions, worship together, or celebrate small faith milestones to keep things light and enjoyable as you build spiritual unity.
6. Face Real Challenges Faithfully
When conflicts arise, address them with honest communication, pray together, and seek outside perspectives from a mentor or pastor. Faith offers peace and patience to work through hard times.
7. Build a Faith-Based Community
Surround yourself with supportive friends, small groups, or couples’ retreats. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that community can strengthen faith, providing encouragement and accountability.
8. Cultivate a Faith-Focused Culture in Your Relationship
Practice gratitude, talk about spiritual experiences, and create simple faith-based traditions, like weekly prayer or sharing reflections, to make faith a natural part of your relationship.
9. Envision the Long Term
If marriage is the goal, use dating discipleship to build a foundation. Discuss future visions for family, finances, and ongoing faith growth, setting up a lifetime of shared values.
10. Embrace Dating Discipleship as a Lifelong Journey
Dating discipleship isn’t about perfection. It’s a journey of faith, growth, and love. Stay true to your faith, enjoy the journey, and keep building a relationship that reflects God’s love.
Dating discipleship transforms your relationship into a spiritual journey, helping you grow closer to God while nurturing the love for each other.
Let’s be real—relationships are hard work. But sometimes, guys, you might be doing things that leave your wife feeling less than seen. Not exactly what you’re going for, right? So let’s dive into a few things she’s wishing you’d stop ASAP (and yes, this could be the game-changer you need).
1. Ignoring Her Emotional Needs
Okay, guys, let’s get into it. One of the biggest complaints wives have? Feeling emotionally neglected. No, this doesn’t mean grand gestures 24/7, but more about tuning in to what matters to her. Like, when she’s stressed or feeling down, and you’re zoned out or not picking up on her vibes, that can feel isolating.
2. Taking Her for Granted
Pro tip: Start by being a better listener. I’m talking about active listening. When she’s talking, don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Pay attention, nod (yup, nodding helps!), and for the love of all things good, put down your phone. Try asking her open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about that?” to get the convo flowing. Emotional support doesn’t always need a solution—it needs presence.
If your wife is juggling life like a pro—managing work, home, maybe even kids—and you’re just assuming that’s all part of the deal without a thank you, she’s going to feel invisible. And guess what? Feeling unseen is one of the quickest ways to erode love and respect in a relationship.
Take the time to notice what she does, whether it’s prepping dinner after a long day or making sure the bills are paid on time. A simple “thank you” goes a long way. Oh, and try surprising her—offer to take care of the laundry or plan a date night. Small actions like these build big points.
3. Leaving All the Chores to Her
Look, no one loves chores, but they’re a necessary evil. What’s worse, though? Dumping it all on your wife. Imagine carrying the weight of keeping the house running day in and day out—alone. Yeah, that’s how a lot of wives feel when their husbands don’t pitch in.
Hack this: Make a chore schedule. Seriously, writing it down helps keep everyone accountable, and no one feels like they’re getting the short end of the stick. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or taking out the trash, sharing responsibilities builds teamwork (and saves her from feeling like she’s pulling double duty).
4. Being Unreliable and Breaking Promises
Trust is the bedrock of marriage, and being unreliable can chip away at it fast. We’re not talking about the big promises, like forgetting your anniversary (though don’t do that). It’s the little things, like saying you’ll help with something and then forgetting. These small letdowns add up.
Be realistic about what you can commit to. Don’t make promises just to make her happy in the moment—only to bail later. If something does come up and you can’t follow through, be upfront. Honesty builds trust. And when you do mess up? Apologize quick. A genuine “I’m sorry” and a plan to fix it goes a long way.
5. Constantly Bringing Up the Past
We’ve all made mistakes, but if you’re the type who drags up old arguments or past slip-ups every time you’re upset, it’s gotta stop. It’s exhausting and stalls growth. Plus, it keeps your relationship stuck in a negative loop—how can you move forward if you’re always looking backward?
Pro move: Focus on now. When an issue arises, address it in the moment, then let it go. No one wants to be reminded of that thing they did wrong five years ago, especially your wife. If necessary, have a heart-to-heart where you both lay things out on the table and then agree to put those past grievances to rest. Move forward together.
6. Trying to Change Her
Look, you fell in love with her for who she is, right? Trying to mold her into someone she’s not is a one-way ticket to resentment town. Whether it’s little habits you want to change or something bigger, like her career choices or interests, it’s a no-go.
Embrace her quirks, celebrate her strengths, and love her as she is. Wanting your partner to grow is one thing, but pushing them to become someone else entirely? That’s where things can go off the rails. Marriage thrives on mutual respect, not on trying to fit each other into a mold. Love her in all her realness—imperfections and all.
Time to Level Up
Now that you’ve got the inside scoop on what not to do to your wife, it’s time to take action. The good news? It’s all doable. Small shifts in how you show up emotionally, in daily tasks, and how you communicate can transform your relationship.
Ready to be the husband she brags about? Start putting these tips into practice, and watch how your connection strengthens. What’s one change you’ll make this week? Let’s chat in the comments!
Final Thought: Marriage isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up for each other, every day, in the ways that matter most.
