Character flaws are not death sentences but defects that we should be willing to change. Change doesn’t come easy. However, to grow we all need to change. The only constant thing is change. No one is born with the perfect set of characters, we all learn and cultivate them.
Many character flaws are destructive in relationships and marriage. It is essential to talk about them because once we are in love, we may not realize or pay attention to the signs that character flaws are present in your fiance or fiancee.
Here are four character flaws
1. Pride
Once married you and your spouse are joined together as one and you don’t want to be destroyed along with your spouse. Pride goes before a fall. You will notice pride when your partner has an over-inflated ego, doesn’t listen to correction, thinks he knows it all, and feels they are always the boss. Humility is a virtue and it can be learned. Satan was proud and that was why he was cast down. So if you notice even the slightest trace of pride begin to do something about it. Often the person with the flaw may be ignorant of it.
Job 36:9 (MSG) God tells them where they’ve gone wrong, shows them how their pride has caused their trouble.
2. Insincerity
This is a character flaw that may have been learned from childhood as a coping mechanism. Some use it as a defense mechanism. It is not being truthful. The Bible recommends that our Yea be Yea and our Nay be Nay. When your partner has problems with being sincere you need to pay attention to this character flaw.
3. Laziness
A lazy person is the devil’s workshop. One of the virtues one should look for in a partner is hard work. Not just working hard but also working smart. If you learn to work hard, you will learn to cultivate your garden and grow your barren land turning it into a green pasture. There is dignity in labor while a lazy partner will always find fault with his tools. Fulfilling our destiny requires some level of tenacity and hard work. If you notice your partner is lazy, please pay attention to this character flaw.
Pro 15:19 (MSG) The path of lazy people is overgrown with briers; the diligent walk down a smooth road.
4. Greed
This is another character flaw that will eventually lead to destruction. Yes, one should have the drive to want more in life, but greed happens when there is an insatiable and burning desire for more material things. This is what we call the mundane things. Anyone chasing the mundane things cannot be a God chaser and a chaser of His kingdom. A greedy person will chase shadows at the expense of the real things. A greedy person will neglect his family all in the name of making more money.
Pay close attention to these character defects to avoid stories that touch the heart.
Everyone especially the ladies had a dream marriage in mind, what we call, childhood dreams. (not necessarily a dream wedding). A marriage is far more important than a wedding. Our childhood dreams of a ‘happily ever after’ can come to pass.
How we love to feel loved, is usually expressed in those dreams.
It is best to start preparing for that dream marriage as a single lady or guy.
The problem is that most people do not take the time to pursue their dreams.
Their dreams are not even clear enough to them. They have not sat down to conceptualize their dreams and know what their dreams require.
It remains as a wish and never gets actualized.
I believe the process of writing the vision and making it plain upon tablets that he may run that read (Hab 2:1) is very important.
Habakkuk 2:2 – 3 NKJV [2] Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. [3] For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.
As a young person, the dream marriage you have always wanted is not meant to just be a dream, it is meant to be pursued.
Knowledge about marriage, application of what you learned, and prayers are 3 important keys to making your dream marriage come to reality.
Whatever stage you are whether you are single, married, having troubles in your marriage or a relationship about to divorce, you can still pursue your dream.
Here are the 3 keys that can help
1. Knowledge about marriage
Marriage is an institution that requires adequate and proper study. You study and never give up. Be a studious student of marriage before you get married and while you are married.
As a lady, study to understand the guy you will marry and study to know and understand yourself and vice versa. Learn about marriage itself. So many people are making a shipwreck of their marriage at different levels because of a lack of knowledge.
How many books do you have or have you read on marriage is a good question to ask yourself
Remember if wishes were horses, beggars will ride.
2. Application of what you have read.
What you read or learn through books, seminars, and conferences is of no use if they are not applied. It is in the doing that we are blessed.
Knowledge creates awareness. We have Awareness, Application, and Accountability where you become accountable to God who gave you the dream and desire of a blissful marriage
3. Prayers
I believe marriage is not meant to be done outside of God. From choosing the right spouse as a single and being the right spouse ( being compatible) to living and becoming one in marriage. You need God all the way. Prayer allows you to commit yourselves to the author of the marriage institution. You receive the needed guidance and help and you learn to talk to God and listen to Him.
Your dream marriage is worth pursuing. Pursue it and don’t give up. Don’t settle for less.
It’s time for a bit of real talk – physical attraction matters. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who makes you cringe when you see them in the morning. Aim for that “Wow, you look amazing” vibe, not the “how did I get here” morning scream.
Go for somebody you are attracted to! You don’t want to spend the next fifty years married to somebody you don’t appreciate or be proud of because of money! You sure want to get married to somebody that will make you happy. If you spend half the time wishing you had married somebody else because of appearance, it will affect your productivity and you won’t be able to give your best as a spouse!
4. Romance 101 – Mutual Love and Romance:
Now, let’s dive into the lovey-dovey stuff. Mutual love and romance are like bread and butter – a classic combo. Do you know the scriptures want you to stay loved up with your spouse after the wedding and to fill your heart with his or her thoughts?
Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose–– don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! (Proverbs 5:19 Message)
5. Life Purpose Jam – Purpose and Destiny Alignment:
Lastly, we’re getting deep into life talk. Make sure your life purposes align. It’s not a business merger, but you want to ensure you’re both heading in the same direction. No one wants to wake up one day and realize they’re lost in a crazy marital maze!
Do you have a definite assignment from God? Make sure marriage doesn’t swallow up your love for God. There is nothing as terrible as being married with total loss of fulfillment and the nagging thought that you are out of God’s purpose.
When you are head over heels in love, these are some of the things to discuss. Purpose and destiny discussions, not sexual discussions. Alignment in the mind, not in the body!
Hey there! So, you’re on the quest for the perfect life buddy? Let’s break down the five must-haves in a potential spouse.
I met my wife when I was twenty-four and she was twenty-one, while on campus, some twenty-eight years ago! And yes, there was something I was looking out for even though I was young then! Let’s take a look at a few of these elements as they will help us in our quest for a godly lover!
The Big G – Fear of God:
Alright, first things first – the fear of God. Not the “oops, I forgot to do my chores” kind of fear, but more like having a super cool and understanding boss. Beauty fades! Beauty is not the first thing. Some strange women are beautiful and some wicked men are handsome.
But if you are blessed with a handsome man or a beautiful woman who also has the fear of God, you are blessed indeed.
Do you know why I have been faithful to my wife? Do you know why I don’t have girlfriends all over the place? The only reason I have not compromised is that I have the FEAR OF GOD! That was what Joseph had and he ran away from free sex. So, go for the fear of God! Beware of people who have the fear of God temporarily just to get what they want.
Keeping It Real – Integrity and Sincerity:
Next up, we’re talking honesty, integrity, and no cheating at board games!
The scripture says something powerful: The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. (Proverbs 11:3 KJV)
Now, if you come up with arguments like, there is no sincere man, every man is bad and this and that, that is what you will attract. You cannot attract what you don’t believe exists! Don’t conclude on humanity because of your experience with one man! All men are wicked, you are wrong! All ladies are stupid, you are wrong as well. You need to renew your mind by God’s word and to believe God for the best.
I will conclude this topic tomorrow. Good morning!
How should a person love their fiancee or spouse? That is what I will be looking at this morning. Love is an action word and if there are no actions to show you love her, you don’t love her in the real sense. Just like respect is a big deal for the guys and it is God’s order that their fiancee and wife respect them out of honor to God and not necessarily because he deserves it.
The same way, God expects and requires that every man loves his own fiancee.
One of the marks of maturity is when a man has the ability to overlook the weakness of his fiancee and despite all, still love her unconditionally.
Eph 5:25 (MSG)
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting.
As husbands-to-be, you are to model Christ. Your leadership role is that of a servant leader. Your headship over her is not an authoritarian rule but one marked with sacrificial love.
One that is patient and kind. One that is meant to nurture and bring out the best in her.
Loving your fiancee begins from the time of your courtship and not when you are married. You start walking by the principle of genuine, God kind of love. This love definitely does not include sleeping with her or dishonoring her body. Any guy who sleeps with a lady before marrying her has shown the highest level of dishonor for the lady. That definitely is not love.
I do not condemn any body because most of these things were done in ignorance. But repentance is needed especially now that you know. Not engaging in pre-maritals is the honor you give to God that the marriage institution is ordained by God.
You are to love her like your own body because she actually is. You begin to learn to treat your fiancee as you would treat yourself. Treat her with dignity, don’t shout on her. Don’t shut her up. Don’t ignore her or her opinions. Don’t compare her to other ladies, don’t put attention on her weak areas.
Learn to celebrate her, appreciate her and hold her in high esteem.
Loving her is every man’s God given assignment. Don’t fail in this assignment.
