Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register on this link – https://kissesandhuggs.com/conv2025
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Choosing a life partner is one of the most significant decisions you’ll ever make. This person will walk beside you through joys and trials, share your dreams, and help shape the legacy you leave behind. But this decision shouldn’t rest solely on human wisdom or fleeting emotions—it must be guided by God’s direction and design. Here’s how to discern who your life partner is with God at the center of the process.
1. Surrender Your Desires to God
Before seeking a spouse, surrender your desires and expectations to the Lord. Often, our vision for “the perfect partner” is shaped by societal standards, past experiences, or unmet needs. However, Psalm 37:4 reminds us, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” When you delight in God above all else, He aligns your heart with His plan, replacing selfish ambitions with godly priorities.
Pray and ask God to reveal His will for your future spouse. Trust that His timing and choice are far better than anything you could orchestrate on your own.
2. Seek Wisdom and Discernment
God promises wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5), so seek His guidance as you navigate relationships. Look beyond surface-level attractions and evaluate character, values, and spiritual maturity. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Notice the emphasis on finding someone who reflects goodness—a reflection of God’s nature.
Ask yourself: Does this person exhibit fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)? Are they committed to growing closer to God? Do they honor others and demonstrate integrity? These qualities matter far more than external appearances or temporary chemistry.
3. Set Boundaries and Standards Based on Scripture
As you wait for God’s leading, establish clear boundaries and non-negotiable standards rooted in Scripture. For example:
A shared faith in Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14)
A commitment to purity and holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)
Alignment in core values like family, finances, and ministry
Boundaries protect your heart and ensure you don’t settle for less than God’s best. Remember, compromise on foundational principles can lead to long-term struggles in marriage.
4. Involve Godly Counsel
Proverbs 11:14 states, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” Surround yourself with trusted mentors, pastors, or spiritually mature friends who can provide objective insight into potential partners. They can help identify red flags you might overlook due to emotions or infatuation.
Additionally, observe how the person interacts with their family, friends, and community. Their behavior outside of your relationship reveals much about their true character.
5. Trust God’s Timing
Patience is key when deciding who your life partner is. It’s easy to feel pressured by cultural timelines or comparisons with others, but Ecclesiastes 3:1 assures us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Rushing into a relationship without divine confirmation can lead to heartache, while waiting on God ensures alignment with His purpose.
While you wait, focus on becoming the kind of person you hope to marry. Use this season to deepen your relationship with God, serve others, and grow in wisdom and maturity.
Deciding who your life partner is isn’t just about choosing someone—it’s about allowing God to guide you to the right person at the right time. Keep Him at the forefront of your search, trusting that He knows what’s best for you. As you pray, seek wise counsel, and set godly standards, rest assured that He will lead you to a partner who complements your journey and shares your commitment to glorify Him.
Remember, marriage is not only a union between two people—it’s a covenant involving God Himself. Let your decision reflect reverence for His design and dependence on His direction. With faith and obedience, you’ll find the joy and fulfillment that come from partnering with both God and the person He has chosen for you.
Proverbs 19:14 concludes, “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Trust that your life partner is a gift from Him—and trust in His perfect timing to bring it to pass.
Being single is not a waiting room for marriage; it’s a crucial, formative phase of life. How you use this time can shape your future, not just in terms of relationships but also your entire destiny. One of the most overlooked dangers during this period is idleness.
We see this clearly in the story of King David.
One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 2 Samuel 11:2 (NIV)
At a time when kings were expected to be at war, David stayed back. That seemingly innocent decision led to one of the most tragic moral failures in his life. Had he been where he was supposed to be, active, engaged, on duty, he likely wouldn’t have fallen into that situation.
This lesson is timeless. Many people fall into patterns of sin, confusion, or wasted time not because they’re inherently bad, but because they’re idle. When you’re not meaningfully engaged spiritually, mentally, or physically, you become vulnerable to poor decisions.
If you’re single and hoping to get married, your life should already be moving in a purposeful direction. You don’t need to have everything figured out, but you should be building something: a career, a skill, a vision, or a calling. Simply waiting around for divine clarity while doing nothing is not faith — it’s passivity.
Being “gainfully engaged” isn’t limited to holding a 9–5 job. It means you’re contributing to something meaningful. Volunteer. Serve in your community. Explore your calling. Be of value to God, to yourself, and others. A person with no purpose shouldn’t be looking for a partner to give their life structure. That’s not love; that’s dependency.
To every lady out there, vision isn’t just for men. As a woman, your life should have clarity and structure. Know what you stand for. Know what you’re working toward. That clarity helps you make better relationship choices. Don’t get into a relationship out of pressure or loneliness. And don’t entertain someone whose direction is misaligned with yours, even if they’re not a “bad” person. Compatibility is more than chemistry, it’s an alignment of purpose.
If you are already married, be intentional. Don’t treat your relationship lightly. Honor your commitment and remember why you started in the first place. Relationships thrive when they are nurtured with purpose, prayer, and partnership. A lack of attention, like Uriah’s unawareness, can open the door for trouble. Show up. Be present. Do the work.
Preparing for marriage as a single person is a wise thing to do. Lack of adequate preparation can cause the marriage to fail. Most singles however don’t know what or how to prepare for marriage. These 5 simple tips provides you with what to concentrate on. The list is not exhausted but you can start with this.
1. Develop a Deep Relationship with God
Before building a life with someone else, build a strong foundation with God. A thriving spiritual life sets the tone for a godly marriage.
Cultivate regular prayer, worship, and time in the Word. Learn to hear God’s voice for yourself—you’ll need it when making decisions with a spouse.
2. Work on Emotional Healing and Wholeness
Unresolved wounds can spill into your future marriage. Take time to confront past trauma, brokenness, or bitterness so you don’t carry them into your new home.
See a counselor, talk to a mentor, or start journaling through emotional triggers. Wholeness is the best gift you can offer your future spouse.
3. Learn Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills
Marriage thrives on communication—not just talking but listening, understanding, and working through disagreements with love.
Practice these skills now with friends, family, or coworkers. Notice how you react under pressure and work on being honest, kind, and calm in tough moments.
4. Be Financially and Personally Responsible
Marriage involves shared goals and responsibilities. Learning to manage your finances, time, and home life now helps reduce future stress.
Create a budget, build a savings habit, and learn basic life skills—like cooking, cleaning, or scheduling. Self-discipline now = peace later.
5. Surround Yourself with Healthy Relationships and Mentorship
The people you spend time with shape your expectations and character. Community and mentorship help you prepare with wisdom and accountability.
Seek out married couples you admire. Ask questions. Learn from their mistakes and wins. Build friendships that challenge you to grow in godly maturity.
Married couples, too, can find these 5 tips beneficial to them.
So what are some of the things I think you should know before you march down that altar to say ‘I DO’?
1. Marriage is a Covenant
“Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the COVENANT MADE AT YOUR MARRIAGE] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the WIFE OF YOUR COVENANT [made by your marriage vows].” Malachi 2:14 AMPC
Did you see that?
Marriage is not just something that is carnal or merely physical… marriage is deeply spiritual and a serious business, with serious implications.
So the first thing you must understand about marriage is that marriage is a covenant!
Having this understanding will give you some ‘sense’ so that you don’t just handle your marriage matter, ranging from the choice of a marriage partner to the marriage itself, with a light hand.
You understand that you’re entering into a covenant with anyone you marry, so you can’t afford to just marry any Tom, Jerry, or Jeff that comes your way! Or any Cinderella, Queenette, or Jessica that comes along your path! You choose wisely, by the Spirit.
Why?
Because you know you’re entering a covenant!
Having this understanding will even help prepare your heart way ahead of your marriage to remain faithful (in thought, word, and action) to your partner. So you start knowing that infidelity is not an option… like your heart gets locked on the matter way before you start your marriage.
Listen. You don’t prepare for battle in the midst of battle! What majorly keeps us in the face of battle are the preparations we made before that battle!
So pondering on these things right now, before you ‘I DO’, will help give you the right posture to have a successful marriage when YOU DO.
Can you talk to yourself now? Say:
“Ogbonnaya (of course you put your name there), marriage is a covenant! You have to be deliberate about it.”
Thinking about marriage can feel a little overwhelming, right? On the one hand, you’re excited about the idea of finding your person, someone to binge-watch sermons with and share late-night heart-to-hearts about God’s purpose. On the other, you’re wondering: Am I really ready for this whole ‘till death do us part’ thing?
Spoiler alert: Marriage prep is less about color schemes and cake tastings and way more about becoming the person God’s calling you to be. So, let’s talk about what it really means to prepare for marriage as a Christian single.
Step 1: Get Your Spiritual House in Order
If you want a Christ-centered marriage, it starts with you and God, period. Marriage doesn’t magically fix your faith journey—it amplifies where you already are.
Start by asking yourself: How’s my relationship with Jesus?
Are you carving out time for prayer and Bible study?
Do you feel grounded in your identity as a child of God?
Are you actively serving in your church or community?
Proverbs 24:3 reminds us, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.” Building your spiritual house now creates a solid foundation for the future. Because when the honeymoon glow fades and real life hits (it will), that foundation will be what sustains you.
Step 2: Understand God’s Purpose for Marriage
Marriage isn’t just about being in love—it’s about glorifying God together. Ephesians 5:31-32 talks about how marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church. That’s a pretty big deal!
So, before you walk down the aisle, take time to wrestle with questions like:
Why do I want to get married?
How can I honor God as a spouse?
What does “sacrificial love” really look like in day-to-day life?
Having clarity about God’s purpose for marriage will help you navigate everything from choosing a partner to tackling those inevitable “what’s for dinner” debates.
Step 3: Work on You
Let’s keep it real: No one is bringing 100% perfection into marriage. We’re all a little messy (and that’s okay). But this is the perfect time to start working on your emotional health and self-awareness.
Learn to communicate: Can you express your feelings without bottling them up or exploding like a shaken soda can?
Handle conflict gracefully: Marriage isn’t about if conflicts happen; it’s about how you deal with them.
Cultivate independence: Being financially responsible and emotionally stable now sets the stage for a healthier partnership later.
And hey, don’t shy away from counseling. Whether it’s premarital counseling or just a “let’s talk through my baggage” session, it’s wisdom, not weakness.
Step 4: Build Healthy Friendships and Mentorships
If marriage is the destination, your community is the road map. Surrounding yourself with godly friends and mentors can make a world of difference.
Here’s why:
Friends keep you accountable and grounded.
Mentors share wisdom from their own marriage journey.
Your faith community helps you grow spiritually and emotionally.
Plus, being involved in community activities is a great way to meet potential partners. Just saying.
Step 5: Practice Healthy Dating Habits
If you’re currently dating—or planning to—it’s important to start practicing the kind of habits that will carry into marriage.
Communication is key: Talk about faith, goals, and those non-negotiables early.
Mutual respect matters: Learn to honor each other’s boundaries and celebrate each other’s strengths.
Date with purpose: If you’re serious about marriage, don’t just date to pass the time. Keep the end goal in mind.
And remember, red flags don’t turn green with time. If something feels off, take it to God in prayer and seek wise counsel.
Step 6: Pray (A Lot)
This might sound like a given, but seriously—pray about everything. Ask God to prepare your heart, guide your steps, and reveal His will for your life.
Philippians 4:6 reminds us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Translation? God’s got this.
Quick Tips for Christian Singles Preparing for Marriage
Be patient: God’s timing > your timeline.
Stay rooted in Scripture: Let His Word guide your decisions.
Enjoy the journey: Singleness isn’t a waiting room—it’s a season for growth, adventure, and discovery.
The Bottom Line
Marriage is an incredible gift, but it’s also a big responsibility. Preparing for it means focusing on spiritual growth, emotional health, and healthy relationships now, so you can step into this new chapter with confidence and purpose.
So, whether you’re actively dating, single as a Pringle, or somewhere in between, remember this: God is shaping your story in ways you can’t even imagine. Trust Him with the process—and enjoy the ride.
Who knows? Your Christ-centered love story might just be closer than you think.
