In today’sdevotional, we’ll be looking at two very important things every wife should do to their husbands, lets’ delve in.
1. Respect your husband Respect is actually a virtue of the heart. It is a value system you place on your husband based on the understanding and acceptance of his headship position. Respect could be verbal, physical, and definitely attitudinal.
You need to respect your own husband. That’s an assignment, you must never fail at. In respecting him, you need to know what respect is for your own husband.
You don’t define what respect is to your husband, your husband defines to you what respect is to him according to God’s word.
You are to specifically ask him what you can do that will make him feel respected. It could be the way to talk, how you serve his food, how you take care of the home, how the kids are cared for, how you sacrifice for him, how you treat his stuff, how you get interested in his business etc.
Don’t assume or guess, ask him, you might be surprised at how simple things could be a big deal for your husband.
2. Pray for your husband One of the greatest ways you can fulfill your assignment as a helpmeet is to pray for Him. Be his intercessor.
Pray for and about every single part of your husband’s life. Nothing is too big or too small to escape your talking to God about.
Pray for him when he is at his best as a father, husband and when he is doing well. Don’t wait for things to get not too good before you start praying. Keep your prayer bank full and God will honour you.
Your husband will also love you more.
There are some issues that God just steps in and defends you without you having to struggle for in your marriage. It’s a spiritual thing and he will just love you more without knowing why. I enjoy this a lot because I keep praying for my husband always.
Helping him is essentially praying for him. He is the head, you are the heart, the engine, and the power room. Never stop praying for him, no matter what.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” (Hebrews 12:15, KJV)
Yea, we aregetting close to the end of discussing love languages and I hope you are getting blessed. If you have questions you may ask and at the end of the topic we will try and answer them.
It bears repetition, that it is the husband’s responsibility to love his wife. God commanded the husband to love his wife. What God commanded the wife is to respect and honor her husband.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Maybe it is because naturally, a wife loves her husband. What is not natural is for a husband to love. Men find it more difficult to show or express love. Women find it easy to love but difficult to respect. So God says focus on what is unnatural with you to do and get better at it as I give you strength. It is not going to be easy but once you are prepared to love your wife and ask God for strength, He will give you.
Your wife will sense love when you speak any one of these love languages. There will be one or at most two of these languages that will readily resonate with your wife. Be very tactical in discovering which one it is and start speaking it.
Note, it is not that you cannot express love by using any one of these languages, but we are looking at the one that best describes your wife’s love language.
The 5 love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We will look at the next one.
4. Gifts
In this love language, you have to be a giver and enjoy it. If this is your wife’s primary love language. It is a love language for the giving husband or let’s say the thoughtful husband. Even though not all rich husband express their love in this way. It is advisable to show your wife love this way if you want her full cooperation.
Here, the gift does not have to be expensive. It just has to be a gift. A box of chocolate, a bar of candy, something for her hair, a roll-on, soap, perfume, earrings and the list goes on and on.
However, the gift needs to be thoughtful. Your wife can’t need a perfume and you buy her a knife. It is not just buying anything. There are appropriate gifts and inappropriate gifts. There are also gifts that speak volumes and the ones that are casual gifts. There are gifts that show your thoughtfulness and there are gifts that reveal your absent mindedness.
You should not buy your wife a gift and you buy a shoe three times short her size. You buy a winter jacket in summer. It has to be meaningful, useful and thoughtful.
If your wife’s love language is expressed by giving her gifts, then it has to be consistent. Buy her gifts regularly, not once in a blue moon. Don’t let her receive one gift now and have to pray in tongues for months before you buy her another. Let it be as consistent as it can be especially since it is not expensive. It is better not to be expensive but consistent than expensive but inconsistent.
Let her special days not end without you buying her a gift. Your gifts mean so much to her. Each time she uses it or sees them, she is happy to know that you bought them for her.When she thinks of how many gifts you have bought for her, let her feel grateful to God for you. Her love tank is full, knowing that you love her.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my wife consistently
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, empower me, to love my wife consistently.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:16 A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Buy a gift for your wife today
Why is this so important? If you don’t love yourself, it is not possible for any other person to love you the way they should. They will only be using you rather. It is important to deal with this. You have to love yourself. You have to accept yourself. Loving yourself is key!
1. Discover your potentials One of the ways to love yourself and overcome self-hate is to discover your potentials. If you have not discovered your potentials, you will keep on comparing yourself to another, who in the real sense may be envying you! Your gifting and natural talents are an indication of your potentials and a pointer to your purpose in life! You have to discover what you are created for.
Listen to me, when you discover your potential and the reason you are on this earth, you will love yourself. All the negative feelings of self-hate and self-rejection will vapourize! Nobody is created for fun. We are all created for a purpose!
Your potential or natural talents may not even be in vogue now, but just stay with it! That is part of loving yourself.
In the seventies and early eighties when we go out to play football, our parents would reprimand us and tell us to go and read our books! Today, parents are buying footballs, and telling their wards, you must know how to play this thing! Why? Footballers are heavily paid today!
Some twenty years back, comedy is not a profession as it were in Nigeria. Today, they make millions in the hour! What are your natural talents? You’ve got to discover them because that is where your prosperity is!
2. Develop your potential After you have discovered your potential, the next thing to do is to develop it. Organise your potential for productivity. Equip your potential for profit. How do you do that? Get information about your potential, gifts or talents. Read books on them. Get all you need on it and be adequately informed.
3. Deploy your potentials The next thing to do is to package your potential and deploy it. Step out on it! Start something today. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step! Stick out your neck and move on! A wet swimmer is better than a dry boat-sitter!
4. Be passionate about what you do Be passionate about your assignment. You see, when you are busy with all these, you will not have time for self-hate or self-rejection or not loving yourself appropriately. The proof of desire is always in your pursuit.
A young man that wakes up by 9.00am has woken up too late. By that time, several people have made their first million for the day! Approach life with passion. Commit to your potential. Write the vision and make it plain that he that readeth may run with it. After you have prayed and prayed, then step out so that God can bless the works of your hands.
Don’t be like the pastor who wanted to organise a crusade. He prayed like no man’s business. Morning, afternoon and night, he was praying and groaning. But he didn’t make a single flier neither was he on T.V or Radio! So on the day of the crusade, all of heaven was aware, but nobody knew except him on earth. The result? The crusade ground was jam-packed with angels, but not a singe human! Warrior angels, praise angels and so many were there, because heaven was aware. But not a single human being knew! Even though he has prayed, and made tremendous power available, his spiritual efforts were not complimented with adequate publicity.
You see, if God will help you, you must be doing something for him to help!
Don’t be like a man who wants to get married but has no job and has no intention of getting one. The wife is supposed to be a help-meet. So, what was she coming to help you with?
5. Be full of praise Finally be full of praise. Be grateful to God for the gift of life! Why would you complain about a simple headache? Don’t you know that it is only people that have heads that can have headache? So thank God for giving you a head first!
You got depressed because your result in school was not that good? Don’t you know the other child whose destiny has been retired to selling and hawking oranges is wishing that he had the kind of opportunity you have? You are sad because you are not yet married? Thank God for your time of singleness and enjoy it because some married people wish they can just be single again to correct a lasting mistake!
It is when you come to God with an attitude of praise, that the heavens open over you to satisfy the desire of your heart!
Wake up with praise and gratefulness in your heart and not with complaints and murmurings. Go to bed thanking God for the day and not with emotions of regret. Then, you are qualified for God’s hand upon you afresh and you can love yourself the way God loves you.
Shalom!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love myself. I am loving in my approach.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to love and appreciate myself
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 90:14 O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be loving to yourself by taking yourself out
I am devoting a lot of time on these love languages because it is a key element in having a fulfilling marriage. Once you understand your spouse’s love language and the God factor is involved in your marriage, at least, a large percentage of understanding yourselves and loving yourselves is guaranteed.
When you understand your wife’s love language and endeavor to speak it, half of the marital issues are solved.
When you love your wife the way she wants to be loved, you will see a new radiance on her. Then she will blossom, she will be more responsive, more cooperative and supportive. She will have more energy and her creative juice will be more alive.
She will be happy and the home will be more calm and peaceful. Your wife will be that joyful wife you have always dreamt she will be. There will be unity among you and you will be able to fulfill God’s mandate of one chasing one hundred and two of you chasing ten thousand.
The 5 love languages are:
Words of affirmation
Quality time and Attention
Acts of Service
Gifts
Physical touch
Let’s look at another love language today.
3. Acts of Service This is a beautiful way of showing that you care and love your wife. But don’t try to speak this love language if this is not your wife’s love language. A wife may get irritated at your wanting to help her do her “duties”.
A wife may frown at the idea of her husband coming to the kitchen or cooking dinner. She may even put up a fight, saying that her husband thinks she is a lazy brat that cannot cook. She may even say her husband thinks her food is not sweet.
Any woman that feels that way, definitely her love language is not acts of service or maybe she prefers the acts of service in another way. You will know it is your wife’s love language when she demands that you help her do stuffs.
She will always call on you to help her do things, unlike the wife who has all the energy and will do everything so that even if you want to help, there is nothing to help with.
You communicate love to a wife whose love language is acts of service by doing things for her. You help her with dishes, the kids, laundry, throwing the trash, cleaning the house, cooking, packing her clothes and everything that she needs help for.
Here, the husband must enjoy helping her before she can sense love. If you are too busy, you have to employ people that can help her out. In her frustration, she may cry out that she is slaving herself for you.
Some wives are satisfied when you do things for them. They don’t even want gifts as such. Once you are doing things for her, she’s okay.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am becoming a loving husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, teach me to understand my wife.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25-26 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pay attention to loving your wife
Apart from the points we discussed yesterday, how else will a man show his love for you?
Let’s go…
4. He will never raise his hands against you. A godly man that truly loves you will not lift his hands against you. Ladies, hear me and hear me well, if he is already donating slaps to you and you are gladly receiving them in love, it won’t stop after marriage. In fact, he will take it to the next level, and turn you into his punching bag. But he said ‘he will change!’ Why can’t he change now? Marriage doesn’t change anybody! In fact, it amplifies who you are because there is pressure of living with somebody now.
If you are courting a man that beats you regularly, that is nothing more than courting disaster. Deliver yourself like a roe out of the hands of the hunter and fly away before you become a prey. I know there are soul ties because of sexual involvement which is disobedience in itself, but the reality that you might be beaten all the days of your life should severe any soul ties and make you wake up! It is not God’s plan for you to be in a relationship where you are being physically abused consistently!
5. He will not draw you into sexual perversion. A godly man that truly loves you will not pull you into the world of sexual perversion where unimaginable things are being perpetrated. Don’t allow yourself to be treated like a jeru trip object, because you are not one.
He will not suggest to you things that you know are ungodly. He will not satisfy his lust at the expense of your relationship with God. He will not be asking you to send nude pictures. For what purpose would that be? He will not pull you further into the miry clay of sin where you keep slipping into iniquity. He will pull you up. He will be an encourager. He will be a positive motivator. Don’t settle for less.
6. A godly man that truly loves you will be accountable. He is not the alpha and omega of his life and home. He has mentors and authority figures over him that he is submissive to. Ladies, never get involved with a guy who has no authority figures over him. Anything could happen, and there would be nobody to talk to.
7. A godly man that truly loves you is a giver. He gives and he supports God’s work. He does not argue about paying tithes. He gives to God and he gives to you! What if he has not started work? Giving has nothing to do with the amount, it has a lot to do with the gesture and the heart!
May God grant you more understanding in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong man.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God leads you to the man who will love you genuinely
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask questions about your relationship and take decisions.
