First of all, there is a difference between one’s love language being “gifts” and when one is just being covetous or greedy.
If your fiancé/fiancée/spouse’s love language is gifts, what it means is that until you start appreciating him or her with gifts in a consistent manner, he or she will not feel loved.
How do you know if someone is not just being greedy?
1. Do or Die?
He will not always demand gifts in a do-or-die manner.
2. Love Gives
When you are in a relationship, and no gifts are forthcoming, there may be an issue there because love gives.
What if he or she has no money or has no job? As I said, a gift is a gift and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Writing her a poem is a gift!
Buying him one tiny little chocolate is a gift! What is important is not the gift itself, it is the gesture that brings assurance of being loved and cared for.
When you are able to give gifts in the midst of not too much provision, you will also be able to do so when you eventually have more income.
Your giving spirit is more of an attitude than spending power.
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3. Love is patient
He will not back out just because gifts are not forthcoming. She will not break the relationship because you are not financially buoyant.
4. He will not just be a receiver
He will not just be demanding while he folds his arms and never gives back. Love gives.
5. Giving Back
He will give away gifts too because that is the language he understands and that is what he craves. She would want to give back gifts as well.
6. Gift is not Payment
When a lady gives out her body for money, that is not about love language because what she gets is no longer ‘gifts’ it has become an illegal payment for services rendered and that is not God’s order.
7. Conclusion
In conclusion, and in expressing this language, let God’s word guide you and keep you within godly boundaries.
Don’t borrow to give gifts. Don’t take a loan just to impress someone. Don’t start what you cannot sustain. Don’t spend the money you don’t have to buy things that are not needed in order to impress people that are not looking.
May God grant more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not greedy.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love correctly.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Joh 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes, should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Gifts are one of the love languages as postulated by Gary Chapman.
Below are a few of my thoughts concerning this topic.
1. Don’t Manipulate Your Spouse Into Gifts Buying
As married couples, the idea is not to disconnect or quarrel with your spouse if he or she is not speaking your language.
You can lovingly discuss with your spouse what makes you happy. You can also reach out and buy him or her gifts and then your spouse does the same in return.
2. Intertwined
As married couples, acts of service and gifts are intertwined. This is because you can give your time, encouragement, empathy, show your love to her in the kitchen and give her some of your time, watch a football match with him when you will rather be having a nap.
But there are people who associate gifts as a love language to have a lot of money.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Eat your cake and have it?
Some single ladies have different guys for different purposes. Some to buy them phones and tabs, some to pay their rent, some to load their phones, some to buy them air tickets, some to load them with cash… well, this is not about love language, it is more of trying to eat your cake and have it.
If this idea and way of living is brought into the marriage, there will be a lot of issues.
It is more of greed and covetousness. It is more of being caught in the web of the deceitfulness of riches. It is not consistent with God’s principles and this will rather slow you down in your journey to a good marriage.
4. Conclusion
In conclusion, and in expressing this language, let God’s word guide you and keep you within godly boundaries.
Don’t borrow to give gifts. Don’t take a loan just to impress someone.
Don’t start what you cannot sustain. Don’t spend the money you don’t have to buy things that are not needed in order to impress people that are not looking.
Sade and Tony have been engaged for only three months. But in the short time they were together, they could not remember as many times as they have had premarital sex. They practically used it to greet each other anytime they get to see.
But when they quarreled after three months, they parted their ways and went differently.
Somehow, they kept thinking of each other. They had moved on differently and each of them even have new relationships but they kept on thinking of each other.
What happened to them?
The reality is that they have what is called “soul tie!”
This is what sex does! How does this happen?
In marriage, sex brings a bonding between the couple, because that is one of the purposes of sex. It cements the couple and joins them together at the highest possible level. Their souls become knitted together. They become one. They are glued together, and God says nobody should put them asunder.
But outside marriage, there is also a bonding. It is just that it is another kind of bonding. It is an illegal bonding that gives access to the operation of demonic entities in one’s life. It is called soul ties.
This is what the scripture is talking about here:
“Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.”
(1Co 6:15-16, KJV)
Can you see that?
In sex before marriage, the two people also illegally become one body! They are not married, but there is an illegal bonding that gives access to legal operations of demonic activities because of disobedience.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
Message Translation puts it this way:
“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.””
(1Co 6:16, MSG)
So we see that this is spiritual. As a matter of fact, when you get involved in sex with someone, you are actually having sex with everybody that person has had sex with! It is not uncommon to see a person suddenly stealing after being intimate with someone that steals!
There is nothing like casual sex. Nothing is casual about it, it is spiritual. There is nothing like one night stand. One night stand can lead to an eternity of woes and damnation.
There is nothing like a quickie outside marriage. One quickie and one’s destiny can be quickly set back by five years or more! This is just the reality!
You see, you need to understand that as a child of God, the devil is trying to trip you. And a lot of people have been tripped. Yes, you can ask for forgiveness, and God will forgive you and cleanse you but when you keep getting careless and you make this a habitual lifestyle, then you are cooperating with the devil for your destruction. It is as truthful as that.
So, what do you do?
I will conclude tomorrow. Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am free because whosoever the son of man shall set free is free indeed!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I destroy and severe every form of soul ties in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh. But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him.” (1Co 6:16-17, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Drop your comment and share this blog
Marriage wine can often dry up, turn sour or simply lose taste. Relationships can lose the spark, the fun, and the glee! Love can wane, can grow old, and can fast dissipate. Feelings are fickle, never with a forever status.
What do you do when love seems to wane, when the tummy butterflies have all rested their wings, love birds have no more songs when his or her words evoke no more feelings, and the blushing, the dimples, and the smiles have all gone?
What do you do at such times? This is the subject of our discourse this morning.
Everything used to be intense, but recently, you are no longer excited. You are married, and the marriage bed has gone cold.
The bedroom used to be a trip but right now it is a complete bore. You could almost be reading a novel while you are at it, and yet the Bible unequivocally advises that
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Pro 5:19 (KJV)
What happened?
Here are a few things that could steal the wine off the marriage shelf, that could sap out and zap off every fun in the union.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
1. When you allow pressures to stifle the pleasure There will always be pressures, especially pressures from work. Wise husbands and wives learn to leave office pressures at the office and not bring them home.
Decide to enjoy your marriage through vibrant communication and unhindered flow irrespective of the pressures that be.
2. When you allow the hustles and bustles of life to steal your rest in God Whether you like it or not, there will always be issues to deal with. You must have a commitment to each other in marriage to put each other first place after God.
3. When you refuse to spend quality time together Love will wane when you don’t spend time with each other. Nothing will ever replace quality time spent together enriched with destiny discussions and plans for the future.
Those times of fellowship can never be replaced with any other thing. With compromise, quality time will become dangerous time, bringing with it, damnation and guilt.
4. When you refuse to give yourself self development and learn how to please each other Bringing new wine into a relationship or marriage can be learnt. Both parties must give attention to learning. Learn how to minimize your weaknesses and maximize your strength
5. When you stop praying and the devil starts preying When the wine finished at the wedding at Cana in Galilee, they had to enlist the help of Jesus.
There is no doubt that the supernatural is needed in keeping the bedroom fire hot and in bringing fresh wine into relationships and marriage.
Keep your relationship and marriage established on the foundation of prayers!
Have a great day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The devil has no place in my home.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, increase my passion for my lover.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Writing letters is powerful. It is one of the most potent forces to stir, sustain and fuel love between two people. Interestingly, chatting, audio calls, and video calls have taken the place of letters, and yet none of those could do what a letter would have done.
E-mailing may be close to it, but there is nothing like that feeling of reading a letter from your lover in his or her handwriting.
Single or married, when last did you write a letter to your loved one?
Oh, Pastor, it’s old-fashioned Well, so is love! God wrote letters on stones for the children of Israel.
In the New Testament, God is still writing letters, but now He is writing His laws into our hearts directly!
Much of God’s love was communicated and expressed with love letters to us. The Bible is simply a book of letters to us.
Pauline’s epistles were letters.
Ye see how large a letter I have written unto you with mine own hand.
Gal 6:11 (KJV)
He kept on writing letters, and those letters are references all over the world today. His letters outlived him. Your letters are much more powerful than you.
It was said concerning Apostle Paul that
For his letters, say they, are weighty and powerful; but his bodily presence is weak, and his speech contemptible.
2Co 10:10 (KJV)
Did I write letters? I wrote volumes of them. Everything God told me, every dealings, every experience, the visions, and aspirations, were all succinctly communicated to my loved one while we were in courtship.
I wrote her I would preach. I wrote her we would preach together. I wrote her God told me I would teach about relationships as far back as 1997!
And that helped her significantly to cooperate with what God would do with my life. And those letters are still in our room today. Preserved on paper and on our hearts.
I have been writing KHC newsletters since 2007, and devotionals since 2010. Do you know that they are simply letters from me to you? Daily letters that have touched several lives across the globe. Daily letters that have saved many a relationship and marriage from the brink of an imminent crash.
If by reason of proximity, letter writing will be cumbersome, then do mails, and write the mails like letters.
Some of the most powerful blogs we have on earth today are simply letters, the communication of a deep-seated thought or an idea in someone’s heart.
So, why don’t pick your pen and do a letter to that loved one?
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
And for those who have nobody writing any letters, I pray today, that God will cause your path to cross with that man or woman He has ordained for you in Jesus name.
Write a love poem. Write about how much you love him or her. Write about how much you value him or her.
Write on the picture you have in your heart about him or her that you’ve not been able to find words to communicate. Write about the qualities that endear him or her to you that you have never articulated before.
Write a letter and end that prolonged quarrel!
Write a letter today, and say something good from your heart. Appreciation that is not verbalized or documented dies eventually. And yet that appreciation can be the needed fuel for your loved one to keep going another mile!
May God grant you more understanding!
Have a blessed day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to communicate rightly with my lover through letters
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, increase my passion for my lover.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write love letters to him/her
