Spend time together. Never allow jobs, people, or any other thing to take this away from you. Learn to pray together every morning. This morning, I held my spouse in my arms, and we prayed together before I got up from the bed. You are able to maximize your time when you put God first place in your marriage.
2. Transition
Transition is defined in three ways:
a. the act of passing from one state or place to the next
b. an event that results in transformation
c. a change from one place or state or subject or stage to another
There will be transition times in your lives, when either spouse travels away for some time or when you get to a new place. Be careful with developing emotional affairs simply because your spouse is not around.
This can easily lead to adulterous relationships and this can further lead to separation and divorce since God’s injunctions that protect you have been violated. If you are already in one, it is not too late to stop it and ask God to help you!
3. Unequal yoke
Be wary of developing associations with friends who don’t know God or colleagues who don’t value the things of God. They can sow the wrong seed of words into your marriage and before you know it, you are already following their advice which is contrary to the ways of God.
Never discuss your spouse or family issues with colleagues. It can trap you and push you to the edge of confusion. I pray for you this morning that God will frustrate every counsel of Ahitofel in Jesus name!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in haste concerning my relationships. I will be led by God’s Spirit.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps so that I will not start wrong relationships in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things; -Proverbs 2:10-12 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the qualities you want in a man and use it to pray.
I have been married for over 20 years and I can categorically tell you, love is not blind at all.
Love is a serious business, that you engage in with all your five senses intact and even the sixth one.
Sometimes ago, I was revisiting the marriage vows taken from a wedding I attended. I thought to myself, most people taking these vows don’t understand half of what they are saying. Then I felt like the wedding day sermon should be spent on explaining a little about the vows.
Many couples spend most of their time together praying. Is it that prayers or praying together is not good? Absolutely, it is 100% good.
Many other couples spend most of their time talking. Is it that talking is not good, (depending on what they are talking about). Absolutely, good.
Marriage is both spiritual and physical, so we have to take care of the spiritual aspect as well as the physical aspect. Talking to God will handle the spiritual aspect while talking together about issues will handle the physical aspect.
We cannot enjoy the marriage and maximize our full marital potential by engaging in one at the expense of another. We have to pray as though our marriage depended on our prayers and we also have to talk as though our marriage depended on it.
When I mean talk, I mean talk to yourselves, not about something or someone. All most couples do is talk about events, news, something or someone, they hardly talk about themselves. They simply gossip and that is all they do.
Most of your time together must be spent on talking about yourselves, leave the remaining to talk about other events or issues.
Love is no longer blind. Some of us had loose ends before marriage that has left us as prey to the enemy. We should not be afraid to talk and trash out issues after all, we get to know ourselves by asking and answering questions.
There has to be a balance between praying and talking. No matter how long you have been married, we should go back to asking ourselves pertinent questions, and write our discussions down. At least God wrote down His thoughts.
These serves as our projections, our values, our commitment. We get to know and understand each other’s expectations.
One of the major causes of problems in marriage is unmet expectations. We have expectations our spouse didn’t even know anything about. They are not aware of those expectations not to talk of meeting them.
Talk, ask questions. What are your expectations in marriage? What do you want from me? Were you in cult when you were in school? What is your vision in life? What do we do to avoid divorce? What do we do to have a blissful marriage? What can I do that you will never forgive me? And so many questions.
Keep asking questions and talking all through your marriage. Your words together coupled with your prayers are knitting your hearts together until the Twain became one flesh, and nothing will be able to put you asunder.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus name. May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My eyes of understanding are open.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in every you can in the name of Jesus
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
We all know what depression is. We have all experienced it at one point or the other. So, I am not about to give you a definition from a dictionary. You can easily get that and thousands of more definitions from online dictionary tools. But beyond several justifiable reasons for depression and all the psychological jargon and explanations, I want to write on its spiritual implications.
I am going to tell you one thing. Depression is a tool in the hands of the devil to wreck your life! That sounds very hard, but it is the truth. I know you have very good and sane reasons to be depressed like the loss of a dear one, the pain of being jilted, the agony of being used and abandoned, the deep wounds from past sexual abuses, the regrettable waves of sadness from a failed marriage, the trauma of physical abuse and so on and so forth.
And those are exactly the reasons that the devil presents to you which makes depression and despondency justified. Interestingly, the flesh enjoys the feelings of depression, but really depression offers no solution. Rather, it complicates the issue on ground and makes your eyes blurred the more from finding a way out.
Depression comes from the pit of hell and it is a potent weapon in the hands of the devil to stagnate you. However, one good thing is that depression cannot be forced on you as you can either yield to it or resist it.
Depression is first of all oppression, then it graduates into obsession and finally, it could get to a point of possession if you don’t have Jesus Christ in your life. It comes stealthily, almost looking healthy and natural, but before you know it, it will overwhelm you and attempt to control and give direction to your life.
The devil will attempt to attack everybody with depression, but you don’t have to cooperate with his antics. If as a single, you have had some failed relationships, it is not uncommon for the devil to try and attack your mind with depressive swings, telling you something is wrong with you! If you embrace those thoughts, you are simply giving him a foothold to operate in your thought realm.
Why is depression so dangerous? It steals your joy. And that is supposed to be your strength. It stops your prayer life. And that is supposed to be where you get help. It stifles you by making it impossible to read and study God’s word. And that is where life is supposed to flow from. It isolates you from good people. And that is one way wisdom is supposed to come.
What is the way out?
Join me tomorrow as I conclude on this topic.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the joy of the Lord always
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I break the hold of depression over my life in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 12:25 KJV Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a promise of God’s word and meditate on it.
I know that there are no perfect persons and we are all projects in the hands of God, however, there are basic traits to watch out for generally. While you may not be able to find a person that successfully combines all these, the qualities should guide you in your decision. If a person does not have character defects and does not live in habitual sin, some of these qualities can be improved upon by asking God for His grace.
1. The Test Of Integrity.
Test him for faithfulness and integrity in little and big things. Make sure she has integrity and her words and actions line up. Integrity is very important because that is what will eventually preserve you.
The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. -Proverbs 11:3 (KJV)
God loves integrity. In Job 2:3, God boasted about Job and he mentioned his integrity. Integrity in that verse means ‘innocence.’
The potential guy or the lady must have integrity as well. It is a great legacy to pass to the children. Integrity is from the word ‘Integral” meaning one. You are supposed to be the same person within and without.
Don’t marry a gentle saint on Sundays but a vicious man on Mondays. Be careful of dual personalities who seem to give their lives to Jesus one moment and then take the life back the next moment. How will you know all these? These are the things you will find out when you are friends.
That is why pre-marital sex should be avoided because it will get you confused and distracted. You see, the moment you are illegally bonded together in pre-marital sex, the obvious character defects that others can see will mean nothing to you.
They will ask you questions like, “What are you doing with that kind of person?” And you will be like; ‘leave me alone, I love him, he will change!’
You see, you have not even changed yourself! You are not the Holy Spirit who changes people! What the scripture says is that you should not be unequally yoked!
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? -2Corintians 6:14-15 (MSG)
2. The Test Of Diligence.
You cannot afford to marry a lazy man or an indolent woman. It will slow your journey down. Diligence is measured with so many indices like tenacity, business acumen, career pursuit, doggedness, and so on. You may not have so much today, but with diligence in a potential spouse, you can be sure you will be great in life.
Do you see a man diligent and skillful in his business? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men. -Proverbs 22:29 (AMP)
You cannot afford to commit your life to the hands of a lazy person. That is subjecting your life to unnecessary afflictions that could have been avoided.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the Spirit of wisdom to discern and choose that which is good for my destiny.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Holy Spirit, fill me afresh with your wisdom in the affairs of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry put you further behind. – Proverbs 21:5 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Commit your ways unto the Lord
Continued from yesterday. You can read part 1 HERE
Some ladies fall in love before trying to find out about his character and flaws. So many young ladies with great destinies have jeopardized their future by getting involved with the wrong person.
Stop falling in love with a stranger on Facebook! It is not ideal. There are so many marital casualties today as a result of unguarded and careless relationships. Profiles, timelines, and Twitter pages cannot be used as a conclusive decision on marriage!
Ladies, don’t wait till you are head over heels in love, with flying butterflies in your tummy before probing who he is. You should find out a lot when you are first of all friends before becoming lovers. That is why friendship is very important. You would have seen enough traits that will help you make up your mind about who you want.
Sisters, have friends. That is where relationship will develop from. If you don’t have platonic friends, then you are left with strangers to approach you, and most of the time when strangers come, they are looking for sex.
That is why most sisters would say things like “it is always unserious people that approach me.” The question is do you have friends?
For guys, become friends first before you make your intention known. Do you know there would not be issues of ‘nails’ or rejection because you are already friends? She would simply tell you ‘No’ politely because she would not want to offend her friend!
When you are already in love without friendship, the likelihood is that your feelings for him will block every form of reasoning and sense of judgment.
You know he drinks, but you don’t care. You know she smokes, but you close your eyes. There are some character traits you can watch out for while just friends.
It is a simple principle of “make the tree good and the fruits will be good.” A guy can’t make a good husband if he doesn’t have a good character.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare that my steps and relationships are ordered.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help to get the right friends in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 19:19 KJV All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List the names of your friends.
