The Song of Songs, a book of love and intimacy, opens with such profound lines that I would love to present to you today.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: For thy LOVE IS BETTER THAN WINE.” Song of Solomon 1:2 KJV
This verse captures a strong intimacy between the bride and her groom. There was an intense desire for one another locked up in the hearts of these lovers. This verse should, however, not just be read with the physical sensual passion in mind, but with the wholistic view of intimacy. You can’t even achieve the highest pleasure on the bed as a couple if you are not intimate outside the bedroom. So intimacy goes beyond the activities in the bedroom.
Intimacy is about how he is thoughtful about you and things concerning you. Intimacy is about how you occupy her heart. Intimacy is in those cares and little acts of kindness. Intimacy is in how nothing else competes with you in his heart, where your love is indeed better than wine. Intimacy is in how you look out for one another. It’s in those random calls to say, “I was just thinking of you.”
My dear couples, do you have this burning intimacy between you and your spouse? No? Then it’s something to begin to strongly desire, pray for, and work toward. Marriage was designed for this kind of beauty.
My dear singles, that one professing love for and to you, do you really weigh in his/her heart? Or are you simply a makeshift? Are you Someone he/she is just settling for because age is no longer a friend? Wash your eyes and marry well, my dear.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: For thy LOVE IS BETTER THAN WINE.”
Kai… I can’t seem to get over this. There is really something strong going on here.
What the bride was simply saying here is: Our love is intoxicating. Our love for each other is better than any other thing.
Their hearts were strongly locked in desire for one another.
Dear couple, don’t settle for less.
Not by constantly nagging your spouse, but by intentionally becoming an intimate partner while gently nudging your spouse. Plant that random kiss. Send that random text message that says “I care,” or “I’m thinking about you.” Be thoughtful and secretly buy that thing for your spouse and gift him/her.
Dear single, don’t settle for less.
Marriage is meant to be beautiful, so don’t settle for someone who doesn’t value you. Become that person who intentionally loves and doesn’t settle for one who is not. The LORD has someone amazing for you too; but if you don’t break up with the one occupying space, how will you receive the one God has for you?
God’s love for us is unconditional and immeasurable, yet it calls for a response. It is not just a gift to be received, but a call to action and a challenge to respond in a way that reflects His love.
John 3:16: For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Imagine the pain of loving someone deeply and passionately, only to have that love ignored or rejected. That’s the heartache God experiences when we fail to respond to His love. His sacrifice on the cross wasn’t just an act of mercy but an invitation to engage in a transformative relationship with Him.
How do we respond to such an overwhelming love?
1. By Leading a Life of Obedience
Loving God starts with obedience. Jesus says in
John 14:21 Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me.
Obedience reflects our intimate relationship with God. When we know Him deeply, we wouldn’t want to hurt Him. On the contrary, disobedience reveals a lack of closeness. Loving God is more than just avoiding sin. It means living according to His will and reflecting His heart in our everyday actions.
2. By Honoring Him With Our Substance
Honor goes beyond words; it shows in how we give and prioritize God. Proverbs 3:9-10 teaches us to honor God with our wealth. Honoring God encompasses all areas of life, not just about money. Your time, talents, and resources should reflect your value for God. Honoring God also means respecting the spiritual leaders He has placed in your life (2 Chronicles 20:20).
3. By Glorifying Him Through Fruitfulness
God calls us to be fruitful.
John 15:8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”
Fruitfulness is more than achievements; it’s living a life that points others to God. Our actions, character, and choices should bring Him glory, showing the world that we are His disciples.
Understanding how to respond to God’s love changes everything about us, including how we navigate relationships, whether single or married. We must not just acknowledge His love. We must live in a way that shows we have been changed by it.
Take a moment to reflect on how you are responding to His love today!
As we continue reflecting on how we can make our relationships and marriages better in this new year, I wish to show you one key principle that I believe will surely make things better in your life. It’s in the book of Ephesians:
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3
This is one verse that shows us that love is not just words (nor emotions), it requires effort. It can be easy to profess love verbally, but can you decide to really ACT IN LOVE this year and beyond? Don’t just SAY LOVE, ACT LOVE. Without corresponding actions of love, our profession of love can easily become like the noise of a clanging cymbal to our person. The Scripture says to be “patient, bearing with one another IN LOVE,” meaning that it is love that produces this action. Love always produces corresponding actions, so don’t just verbalize love, DO love.
“FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3: 16 NKJV
What is your love making you DO? You need to start asking yourself this question.
Love should make you strive to be a better partner.
Love should make you be patient, and bear with your spouse. For singles, this is not saying you should go ahead and marry someone who is already verbally, emotionally, and physically abusing you even when you are not yet married. To you, I say, “Flee o.”
Love will make you go out of your way to seek the good of your partner.
Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect. Love does not selfishly seek its own honor.
Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. 1 Corinthians 13:5-7 TPT
Do you have the DOINGS of love, or is it just the SAYINGS?
Selah.
P.S.:
For singles, don’t just be carried away with the nice words, look beyond… look for the actions.
The most crucial element in relationships and marriages is perhaps direction.
Knowing who to date.
Knowing who to go out with.
Knowing who to get married to.
Knowing where to settle down.
Knowing what kind of career path, job, or business endeavor to pursue.
Knowing how many children to go for.
The list goes on and it’s endless.
The greatest secret of resounding success is the direction and knowing specifically what to do.
We know that there is a template or blueprint that God has for us individually and for our relationships and marriages. Plugging into this specific template eliminates most issues that might arise.
How do we get to a place where God directs our paths?
That is what I want to show you this morning.
Pro 3:5 (KJV) Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
The greatest enemy of having God direct us is twofold from the above verse:
~ When you don’t trust God with all your heart
~ When you lean or depend on your understanding.
The next verse tells us precisely what to do.
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Did you see that? Acknowledge Him in all your ways and the next thing is that He will direct your paths!
How do you acknowledge God in all your ways, especially in relationships and marriages?
Put Him first place in your life. Put His Word first place and honour that Word by reading and studying regularly.
Talk to Him before every decision, both minor and major decisions! Let Him be involved all the way.
When you include God this way, He promises that He will direct your paths.
As I close, let us take a look at that same verse in The Amplified Version:
Pro 3:6 (AMPC) In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
I pray that God will direct your paths indeed! He will give you the wisdom needed to be able to acknowledge Him in all your ways!
Life can feel like a constant juggling act, right? Work, school, family, and let’s not even talk about social media —it’s easy to get overwhelmed. And when stress sneaks into your relationship, things can get… complicated. But don’t worry, we’ve got your back! Let’s dive into some practical, faith-centered ways to navigate stress together and come out stronger.
Stress and Relationships: The Struggle Is Real
Stress isn’t picky. It shows up when you’re late for class, prepping for that big work presentation, or when your partner ate the last slice of pizza without asking. (Yes, even that.) However, what makes stress especially tricky in relationships is how it affects both people.
It’s not just about you feeling overwhelmed—it’s about how that stress impacts how you talk, listen, and show up for each other. Maybe you snap over something small, or your partner pulls away emotionally. These are signs it’s time to hit pause and tackle stress together.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 reminds us, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.” Stress doesn’t have to be a solo battle—lean on each other!
1. Open Up: Communication is Key
Ever feel like your partner’s a mind reader? Spoiler: they’re not. (Even if they’re really good at guessing your coffee order.)
Stress can isolate you, making you feel like you’re alone in your struggles. That’s why it’s so important to talk about what’s bothering you. Share your thoughts, no matter how small they seem. Saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed by work,” can go a long way in helping your partner understand what’s up.
And remember, listening is just as important. Try saying, “How can I support you right now?” instead of jumping straight to advice. This creates a space where both of you feel heard and valued.
2. Pray and Play Together
Here’s the deal: building resilience doesn’t have to feel like a chore. In fact, some of the best ways to handle stress are also the most fun!
Pray as a team: Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” When you pray together, you’re inviting God into your stress.
Get moving: Take a walk, try a workout challenge, or have a dance-off in the kitchen. Physical activity releases endorphins (hello, happy vibes!) and gives you quality time together.
Have fun: Watch a goofy movie, bake cookies, or plan a date night. Laughter is a powerful stress buster—it’s basically free therapy.
3. Self-care is Not Selfish
Let’s get real: taking care of yourself isn’t optional—it’s essential. You can’t pour into your relationship if your own cup is bone-dry.
Encourage each other to do things that recharge your individual batteries. Maybe you journal, read your Bible, or try a new hobby. Bonus points if it’s something creative, like painting or writing poetry (even if it’s just doodles in the margins of your notebook).
But here’s the twist: self-care doesn’t mean “me, me, me.” It’s about being your best self so you can show up for your partner. Luke 6:31 says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” When you’re in a good headspace, it’s easier to love well.
4. Gratitude Changes Everything
When stress hits, it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong. But shifting your perspective can make a huge difference.
Start a gratitude challenge with your partner. Maybe you share three things you’re thankful for each night or keep a joint journal where you jot down blessings, big or small.
Gratitude doesn’t erase stress, but it reminds you of what’s good in your life—and in your relationship. Plus, it helps you stay grounded in God’s goodness. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances.” Yes, even when your Wi-Fi’s down or you’re stuck in traffic.
5. Be a Team, Always
Stress tries to convince you that it’s you vs. your partner. But the truth is, you’re on the same team. Tackle stress like a tag team—cheer each other on, trade responsibilities, and celebrate small wins together.
Think of resilience like a muscle. The more you work at it, the stronger you become. And the best part? You’re not doing it alone. Psalm 46:1 reminds us, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
Wrapping It Up
Stress doesn’t have to wreck your relationship. With open communication, faith-filled practices, and a sprinkle of fun, you can build resilience together. It’s about being intentional, leaning on God, and reminding each other that love is stronger than any storm.
So, the next time stress shows up uninvited, take a deep breath, grab your partner’s hand, and face it head-on. You’ve got this—together.
