SINGLES – Dear Pastor, Can I Kiss My Fiancé or Fiancée?
Continued from yesterday…
This is because it will always lead to something else! What you did the last time will not satisfy you the next time you meet, and before you know it, there will be a compromise.
If you are kissing someone who is not your wife somewhere and I bump into you as your pastor, what will happen? You will quickly apologize. Why? You are doing something out of place.
On the other hand, if I am kissing my wife somewhere and you bump into us, it is still you that will apologize because you are interrupting us and what we are doing is in place!
I can’t walk into a place now and then you grab my wife to kiss her and then tell me you are greeting her. I will remove my suit and fight you!
But candidly speaking, you may not find any scripture in the Bible that says kissing is a sin, but it will surely lead you into sin because of the law of progression. It is better to stay off.
After marriage, if you decide to kiss your spouse for a whole day non-stop, God will not frown at it, because your bodies belong to each other.
Don’t be deceived that since God says not to fornicate, kissing must then be a way out to relieve pressures!
You cannot kiss strangers you met two hours ago all in the name of expressing your love. The power of life and death lies in your mouth, so says the scriptures. You want to be careful then with whom you get entangled and lock that mouth with!
There are people you kiss and destinies are swallowed up! There are strange lips all over the place and that is why it is important you follow God’s order. I am a Pastor for close to twenty-five years and I can tell you my eyes have seen a little and my ears have heard enough to make them tingle.
Ladies, you cannot submit your lips to a guy as if you are submitting a sheet of paper in the examination hall. Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Guard it. If the guy or the lady is hungry, must it be your lips that would be eaten? Honour yourself and honour God’s word so that God will honour you.
I have seen a guy who only kissed someone he met and he became mentally unstable from then. I have had to pray for a lady who practically lost her mind because of sexual sin!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to discern between positive and negative influences in my life and grace to avoid the negative.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In Jesus’ name, I resist the power of negative influence over my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 7:25 MSG The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
SINGLES – Dear Pastor, Can I Kiss My Fiancé or Fiancée?
A few days ago, on one of our WhatsApp platforms, a question was raised on the subject of kissing and we had several interesting comments. By the way, if you are single and yet to join our discussion hub on WhatsApp, do so HERE. There are discussions, questions, and answers you can learn from on a daily basis.
I have been asked several times about this issue. A lot of people believe there is nothing wrong with kissing. In fact, most people believe it is godly. The question is, ‘is it right or wrong?’
Before, I answer the question; let us look at the scripture that is often quoted to justify kissing in relationships.
Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you. – Rom 16:16 KJV
All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss. – 1Co 16:20 KJV
Greet one another with an holy kiss. – 2Co 13:12 KJV
Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss. – 1Th 5:26 KJV
From the above scriptures, it looks like a kiss is not a sin, and sincerely, in the context of the above scriptures, it is not a sin.
What is the above context? It is a cultural context. A Jewish kiss is a form of greetings in those days. Nothing more! See an example here:
And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son. – Gen 27:26 KJV
The issue with us in this part of the world is that we don’t greet with a kiss. You can’t lock your lips with your fiancée for over thirty minutes and then turn around to say you’ve just been greeting her! What kind of greeting was that? What type of greeting were you doing that your heartbeats accelerated and your hands got busy?
The scripture above says to greet one another with a holy kiss. Now, the Jewish kiss may be holy, but I am not sure that the Nigerian kiss is holy!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to discern between positive and negative influences in my life and grace to avoid the negative.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In Jesus’ name, I resist the power of negative influence over my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 7:25 MSG The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
That word means “romantic.” Spirituality should never in any way disturb being a romantic lover, single or married.
The synonyms of “romantic” include loving, amorous, passionate, tender, affectionate, lovey-dovey. Speaking in tongues should not disturb speaking sweet things to your lover.
One is to God, the other is to your lover. After you have done the one for God, do the one for your lover as well.
Let your relationship or marriage be characterized with an expression of love. Be passionate towards him or her.
Before wedding, “passionate’ does not include kissing, smooching, and sex. It includes calling regularly, doting on each other, praying for one another, sending loving (not vulgar or perverse) texts to each other (not sexting), buying each other flowers, chocolates, special gifts, and doing memorable things together.
Being romantic is not being full of lust.
In the Old Testament, honeymoons last as long as one year!
Deu 24:5 (KJV) When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.
God wants you to enjoy each other!
In the New Testament, God wants you to have honeymoon for life! Enjoy every day of your married life! Sadly enough, by first week of most marriages, it is only the moon they can find, no honey! That will not be your portion in Jesus name!
The Bible clearly advocates that married couples enjoy themselves sexually and otherwise.
Pro 5:18-19 (KJV) Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. [19] Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
There is nothing wrong about fantasizing about your spouse! It is godly. Take a look at the Message Translation:
Pro 5:18-19 (MSG) Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! [19] Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose— don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!
If as singles not yet married, you are not cool at all!
You are more like carrying fire in your bosom!
Okay pastor, show me in the scripture where kissing is wrong!
Well, you will never find anywhere in the scripture where the Bible says ‘thou shall not kiss! In fact, if the Bible says anything about it, it is the fact that we can kiss one another with a holy kiss! Why then do we make so much issue and big deal on what the scripture says we are advised or commanded to do?
So, let’s take a look at the scriptures.
Greet one another with an holy kiss. (2 Corinthians 13:12 KJV)
Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss. (1 Thessalonians 5:26 KJV)
Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you. (Romans 16:16 KJV)
It is true that the Bible says, we should kiss one another with a holy kiss, but you need to understand the cultural context under which that is said!
The Jews normally kiss one another with a kiss.
If you remember, Jesus was even saying at a time nobody offered him a kiss. That is because a kiss at the side of the mouth is a form of greeting in Jewish culture.
Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. (Luke 7:45 KJV)
If you also see the scriptures above, they use the word “greet” and “salute” with a kiss. This Jewish cultural practice dates back to the Old Testament days.
And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son. (Genesis 27:26 KJV)
Having established that this is a Jewish cultural practice, we can understand that this is not our culture in this side of the world. The western world is also a little bit disposed to greeting with a kiss without lust attached. But in a place like Nigeria, we don’t greet with a kiss!
In our culture, (even though this is fast disappearing) when a boy wants to greet his father, in some part of Nigerian culture, he prostrates. A girl kneels down! As the lady grows older, she is taught to genuflect when she wants to give something to an older person.
My point? There are holy kisses and there are unholy kisses! The Jewish kiss is holy because it is a form of greeting! The Nigerian kiss is unholy because it is not a form of greeting! Period!
If I walk into a meeting to preach with my wife beside me, and one of the ushers grabs my wife and plants a kiss saying “welcome ma,” I am going to remove my suit and fight real good!
Somebody will say, “but you are a pastor,” and I will say “Yes, and that is why I am fighting!” Why is that example funny? Because we don’t greet with kissing in this part of the world!
That is why we often do it behind doors!
If I am kissing my wife behind the church and you bump into us, you will have to apologize. If I bump into you kissing a girl you are not married to, you are still the one that will apologize!
The problem with kissing as we see it in this part of the world and why we say you should avoid it as much as possible, is that it will lead you into some other sexual sins! Before you know it, you are involved in Jericho trap!
Whatever you did the last time you met, will not satisfy you the next time you meet because intimacy will increase when two people are in love, which will keep calling for more physical expression. That is what the law of progression says. Sincerely, there is nothing wrong with a peck, but the question is will you stay on that alone? Your body will call for more!
I usually tell ladies, you cannot submit your lips to a guy for kissing like you are submitting a paper in the exam hall. If the guy is hungry, let him go to the market and buy Kpomo (a type of meat from cowhide). Must it be your mouth he turns into food?
As Married Couples, don’t stop kissing one another in marriage. Do it regularly and at all times!
Singles, wait for your time, okay? Don’t fan the embers, stay off every form of iniquity!
A lady came into my office years ago with her mouth doubled up like she’s been hit. I said, “what’s wrong with you, who hit you?” She hesitated and she knew she couldn’t lie. So she said, “it is one rough kisser!” Can you imagine?
That one is not a Jewish kiss, nor Nigerian kiss, that is a German kiss! Just kidding!
When you are married, if you like, you can decide to kiss from morning till evening. God will say, “Well done!” But not before marriage!
The power of life and death lies in your mouth, keep it well. Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect it!
Married Couples, don’t stop kissing one another in marriage. Do it regularly and at all times! Singles, wait for your time, okay? Don’t fan the embers, stay off every form of iniquity and God will help you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I discipline myself. I put my body under.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for grace to stay chaste in thoughts, words, and deeds.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 9:27 (KJV) But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.