Yesterday, we started on the topic what a wife wants from her husband, and we listed four points that men ought to take note of.
We said a woman wants 1. A head, not a headache 2. A protector, not a manipulator 3. A caring husband, not a scary one, and 4. A praying husband, not a preying one.
Today, I will tell you two more things every wife wants from her husband.
5. A gardener, not a scavenger Every woman is like a garden of treasures. When a gardener is through working on a garden, there is order. When a scavenger is through, there is disorder. A gardener nurtures, a scavenger ruptures! A gardener prepares the garden for productivity; a scavenger is looking for what’s in it for him. It is a whole world of difference! A scavenger wants to raid your garden and if as a single you are involved with one, it’s time you send him parking and close your gate!
6. A romantic husband, not a sarcastic one Women love it when their husbands are romantic. All the things a man used to do and say while he is wooing them, they want it to continue. If the man is wise, he will oblige to that. Ladies don’t like abusive men, men who use them as joke objects all the time, identifying and poking at their weaknesses rather than emphasize their strengths! It is not a good idea when you are inspired to crack some dry jokes directed at your wife each time you see her!
You will lose her gradually doing that! Rather, learn her love language and speak that language! If what it will take for you to have a good home is to help her a little in the kitchen, then do it!
As a young couple, I would bathe our boys from when they were just four days old! My wife loved that, so I took it upon myself to do that for all the boys till they were old enough to take care of themselves. Those were the early years when I had not started writing devotionals and I had time in the mornings.
Now, that may not resonate with you, and your wife might not even want to trust you with a four-day-old baby, but find something you can do to make her happy! That is how to be a man!
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a husband indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
Yesterday, we lookedat what every man wants in his spouse that women need to pay attention to. Today, it’s the other way round, we’re looking at what a wife wants from her husband, so let’s go!
1. A head, not a headache This is one of the vital things a wife wants from you. A man is supposed to be his wife’s head, not her headache. What is the head supposed to do? The eyes are located in the head, so one of the principal responsibilities of a man as the head is to cast a vision for the family and give direction as well. The mind is located in the head, so the man is supposed to be a thinker and be responsible.
Being the head does not mean she is subservient to you, for there is nothing the head can do alone. It is the body that holds the head and so the head needs the cooperation of the neck and the body to function in its assignment.
The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. (Ephesians 5:23 Message)
There are some singles ladies in courtship that are already having sleepless nights by virtue of who they are involved with. This is not the plan of God for you, and when you see negative trends like that, the man is not likely to change after marriage. Don’t close your eyes to all the red lights because you want to get married desperately.
2. A protector, not a manipulator A man is supposed to be the protector of the lady, even in a dating situation. But what is rampant today is a brazen display of manipulation and high degree insincerity. We have men today who are not really interested in marriage but just in jeru trip. A wife wants to feel safe and protected
As a lady, there is no point courting such a man because if you are not careful, he will soon have his way while you are left heartbroken. A manipulator knows how to feed your weaknesses just to get what he wants. A husband that manipulates knows how to logically blame the wife for everything.
3. A caring husband, not a scary one There are wives that can’t talk in their matrimonial home. They are permanently muted. For such women, the fear of their husbands is the beginning of wisdom! There are even ladies who are in courtship and they have no say. Now, this is very defective and it is not God’s order! The man that loves God and loves his family does not scare. You don’t rule your home with an iron fist, you rule with love.
A situation where the boy is playing football, but upon hearing the blast of dad’s car horn, dives through the window, the wife rushes to the kitchen to get food ready…. all because the lion of the tribe of his house has come! Children raised in this kind of atmosphere always rebel in the end. Be caring, rather than be scary!
4. A praying husband, not a preying one It will interest you to know that every lady wants a spiritual man. Every lady wants a man that will wake her up to pray. Every lady wants a man that can lay hands on her and bless her. Now, you don’t have to be a pastor to do that. You only need to have a relationship with God.
Tomorrow, I will show us more things a woman wants from her husband.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a husband indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
How we communicate is very vital. What is being said is important, but how it’s been said is equally important. A brother once had a dream, in the dream, he saw that each time we speak to our spouse harshly, it is like using a stick with many thorns to beat them.
How true this is. Harsh words will only breed hatred, bitterness, suspicion, rejection and more bitterness.
In the beginning, God gave man His presence, work, His Word, to cultivate (the woman), and to provide for her.
A man not in the presence of God, cannot have His word, and of course, cannot nurture his wife with the words God gave him.
You have to be able to pass across divine instructions in such a way that it is followed and obeyed by the wife. I think with each instruction, the man should also consciously ask for the wisdom and Holy Spirit’s help in passing it across and communicate it with his wife
There is always a way or method or wisdom given by the Holy spirit that will best suit your wife of husband as the case maybe.
In 1 Sam 16:1-3, we saw Samuel asked by God to go and anoint a king in the house of Jesse. He said, how can I go? If Saul hears it, he will kill me. He didn’t jump off with the word of the Lord. He waited and asked God for a way to present it.
Husbands, wives, let us not always run off with the word of the Lord or a word from God. Ask how to communicate it to your wife or husband.
1Sam 16:2 KJV And the Lord said, Take an heifer with thee, and say, I am come to sacrifice to the Lord.’
God taught him how to present the matter.
We will continue on this same topic tomorrow. We will look at saying it in love.
God bless your marriage. CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be distracted in the race of life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to stay focused and consistent
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. “God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you “–– God’ s Decree––” bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it. (Jeremiah 29:14 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Thank God for where you are now in the race of life
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY 1 Samuel 28-31; Psalm 18
I have had people tell me that their husbands are too jealous, too jealous for their liking. The wives complain that this action is irritating. Well, I have come to know that if husbands are made to feel insecure, they become suspicious and may become overly jealous.
A husband is jealous because he loves and is not sure of the wife’s commitment into the relationship. When a husband is jealous or feels threatened, he begins to ask suspicious questions, snoops around, acts like a detective, scroll around the wife’s phone and does all sorts.
A husband and wife that has been away all day and hardly talk when they come home at night, gives room for such. The husband begins to feel, he is just there. No meaningful communication.
When there is no communication adequately, there is room for all kinds of unhealthy thoughts. Husbands and wives as a matter of fact must talk about everything. That is why whatever may prevent adequate communication should be avoided. The wife and husband should avoid bitterness of any sort, by talking about hurts immediately.
The issue of submission is also important. When a wife is not submissive to her husband, it gives him the opportunity to be jealous. If a wife does not adequately defer to her husband, it makes him insecure and threatened. He is insecure of his role as the husband.
A husband can take anything but if anything threatens his position as the rightful husband, he can’t take it.
The role of the wife is to always make her husband feel secured as the husband and the head of the home. She should defer to him in everything. She should feed his ego and give him his place as the head of the union between them.
She should defer to her in terms of finances, her job, her friends, her dressing, her looks, her family member, and everything in general. If your husband is not comfortable with something or someone, then let it be over with that thing, until he says it is okay.
This is a simple way to avoid problems at home and make your husband feel secure. As the wife, you have to protect him. Protect his interest and his ideals. I know of a woman who has a multinational company. By that, it means she would be in control of money, power and people. Normally, any husband married to her should feel threatened.
It is the place of the wife to make her husband feel secured. That is exactly what this woman did. The husband is so secured and contended. She placed her husband first before anyone and anything. That’s the way it should be.
I know there are some very difficult husbands and very overly jealous. How do you handle such? Well, I believe the same thing goes for every kind of husband. You make them feel secured until they feel over secured.
You cannot make your husband feel secured if you don’t talk to him. You must make communication a matter of priority. Your talking to him, means you defer to him by default. You tell him everything and ask him everything.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I defer to my husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY God help me to do the right things
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 31:28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also], and he praiseth her.
The Bible says husbands should enjoy the wife of their youth. This means you should enjoy yourself while you have strength as young couples. Don’t be too serious at home and learn to live together as best friends.
The force of joy is very vital in the home front. Joy, celebration, thanksgiving, rejoicing, the sound of melody, praises, and worship to God all go hand in hand.
Psa 67:5-6, KJV Let the people praise thee, O God; let all the people praise thee. Then shall the earth yield her increase; and God, even our own God, shall bless us.
We are encouraged in this scripture to praise the Lord, then our earth; whatever it is that represents the earth to us will yield her increase. Whether barrenness, lack, joblessness, debt, et cetera
The logical thing to do is get moody when things are not working. But we operate from a higher level. We rejoice to get the increase.
Your boss, spouse, or colleague may be treating you badly. Rather than fight back, you switch into praise.
Receive Grace and strength to enter into praise. God inhabits your praise. Your praise invites God to fight on your behalf.
Php 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.
Let nothing steal your joy. Let your rejoicing be in the Lord
Don’t allow the pressure of finances, raising children, in-laws and others destabilize your togetherness and joy.
Nothing must come in between your joy. Between the two of you, one person will be more playful and tend towards being joyful all the time.
Let the playful one take the initiative and the other follows suit.
The Holy Spirit knows what He’s saying when He says enjoy the wife of your youth.
Be deliberate in making each other happy. Do not make others outside your home or marriage happy at the expense of your spouse.
Read books together and discuss them. Invest in each other.
I pray your marriage will be beautiful and filled with new wine.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FORTHE DAY I love my spouse and we enjoy life together
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help us to be joyful always.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ecc 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Rejoice and enjoy yourself
