As couples, we are not meant to do marriage without God. He instituted marriage and there’s a picture in His heart, there is a purpose in His heart that needs to be accomplished.
The day you start neglecting God and treating His word with contempt is the day you begin to experience hardship in your marriage.
God’s word is His covenant with us ratified in the blood of Jesus. The word contains all the covenant terms and conditions.
All the requirements of the covenant must be satisfied. When we fulfill our part of the covenant, we automatically enjoy the blessing of the covenant.
That is why the scriptures say I have hidden your word in my heart that I may not sin against you.
Behold, the days come, saith the Lord , that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah: Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant they brake, although I was an husband unto them, saith the Lord : But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the Lord , I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people. –Jeremiah 31:31 – 33 (KJV)
To enjoy the covenant blessings of marriage, you have to have respect for the word of God. Not only respect it but follow it to the letter.
Your obedience becomes your proof of respect. So Bible says;
Husbands love your wives and wives submit to your own husbands. –Ephesians 5: 23 – 29 (KJV)
That’s the covenant requirement, whether it is convenient or not you have to obey and do just that.
That’s having respect unto the covenant. Jesus had to do the covenant requirement even though it wasn’t easy.
You now see why God will not shift grounds. He is a God of covenant, not a sentimental God.
If He could turn His back on Jesus when He was on the cross because He cannot behold sin and because He was carrying the sin of the whole world, God will turn His back on anyone who treats His covenant with contempt.
Let’s begin to respect the covenant God has with us. Let’s begin to do what the word says despite what our body wants or what our flesh is saying.
God grant us more understanding.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I honour God’s word and covenant in my life, and marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in Jesus name, strengthen me to honour your covenant all the days of my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Husbands love your wives and wives submit to your own husbands. –Ephesians 5: 23 – 29 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take time to search out what God says about marriage
In the early days of our marriage, I get angry very easily. It was a kind of subdued anger, not enough for me to raise my hands against my wife!
I have never done that and will never do that, no matter what! That is not a manly thing to do! It is unscriptural, and your prayers will be hindered when you raise your hands against a lady.
But, I used to be impatient. I am a quick person but my wife takes her time. I wanted to change her. When I am angry, I start lecturing my wife. After a while, I just had to change because the lecturing thing was not working. I had to learn early in marriage, to calm down when I am angry and then discuss it.
Over the years, I have come to learn to smile at some of the things that get me bothered and aggravated and looking back at those years, I wondered why I had to be angry in the first place! We were not meant to be the same way! A book on temperament I read was what delivered me!
If you are married to someone with an anger problem, here is some advice for you.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. –Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)
A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. –Proverbs 15:1 (MSG)
Don’t get angry together and at the same time! Learn to calm down for each other! Get books and read and deal with that anger so that you don’t end up raising angry children who will take the anger to another level.
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. –Proverbs 16:32 (KJV)
A few things to do if you have problems with anger
1. Pray about it and ask God to help you by His Spirit
2. Seek help from your pastor or mentors
3. Stay in God’s word. Your soul can be restored when you meditate regularly on God’s word
4. Get good books that address the weakness and study
5. Discuss with your spouse and look at how you can deal with the weakness
6. Learn to keep quiet when you are angry. You often say things you will regret later, but the words, like swords could have done harm.
7. Do not make quick decisions while you are angry. Your sense of judgment is warped at such times.
8. Forgive easily. Don’t be revengeful and stubborn. Let God handle the situation for you.
9. Don’t allow anger and hurts to push you into sexual sins because you want to get back at your spouse. That will complicate issues for you.
10. Don’t listen to someone who appears ‘nice’ and wants you to sin when you are hurting badly. It is usually a trap of the devil to complicate issues when a ‘nice’ person suddenly shows up when you are at loggerheads with your spouse. Be careful!
I rebuke every spirit behind anger and wrath in your life, marriage in Jesus name. I pray for God’s help over you in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am calm. I am not an angry person.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to resist unnecessary anger
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go –Proverbs 22:24 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read a book on dealing with anger
There is nothing that kills marriages faster than what I want to write about today. Anger! In the verses below, Simeon and Levi are brothers, but their combination was a tragedy! Both of them had anger problems. What was the eventuality? They were divided and scattered!
Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel. –Genesis 49:5-7 (KJV)
That is exactly what happens to two angry unrepentant people in a marriage. That marriage cannot survive it. Look at the way the Message translation puts it:
Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. I don’t want anything to do with their vendettas, want no part in their bitter feuds; They kill men in fits of temper, slash oxen on a whim. A curse on their uncontrolled anger, on their indiscriminate wrath. I’ll throw them out with the trash; I’ll shred and scatter them like confetti throughout Israel. –Genesis 49:5-7 (MSG)
One angry person can curse a lot of havoc, not to talk of two angry couples!
Are you the type of person that is ready to fight at the drop of a hat? You need to consciously and deliberately start working on that anger problem because it can ruin precious opportunities.
There is a place for a level of anger because we are all human. There is also a place for righteous indignation. But the type of anger that is dangerous is the one that lingers unnecessarily and makes you do things you will later regret.
This type of anger is almost a stupid one because you know you will eventually regret your words and actions!
Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. –Ecclesiastic 7:9 (KJV)
Message translation is quite interesting:
Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head. –Ecclesiastic 7:9 (MSG)
I once heard a man of God in one of his messages, where he said he used to have anger problems until he read the above scriptures.
To be continued
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am calm. I am not an angry person.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to resist unnecessary anger
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go –Proverbs 22:24 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read a book on dealing with anger
3. Never allow anybody to come and live with you in the house without the full agreement of your spouse. If your spouse is not in support, your attempt to help others can be at the expense of your marriage and it can drive you apart.
Many marriages are under tremendous pressures because the wife is not only taking care of her husband but several siblings at a time. Issue will necessarily come out of this.
4. Never oppose your spouse openly. Don’t build walls against yourself. If you must correct your spouse, don’t do it in the presence of his friends and colleagues, you might end up adding more to the issue.
However, you can always have a confidant with whom both of you agree you can discuss with, because there are times you really need to pour your hearts out.
5. Never get close to others other than your spouse. Be your spouse’s friend and never allow anybody to come in between you.
There are Delialahs, Jezebels, Amnons, Jonadabs and so on. The moment you know, and you always know that you are getting up close and emotional to someone apart from your spouse, cut it off, or else you will soon be in serious problems. The moment you can hide things from your spouse, it is the beginning of problems.
The moment you can discuss your spouse with colleagues and they discuss theirs with you, you are going too far. The devil will set a trap. Avoid distractions.
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My spouse is second to none but God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach us to be a skillful couple in loving you and loving ourselves
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2Co 2:11 MSG After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief–we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse on how you can love each other better.
As I listened to God’s Spirit to know what I will write this morning, I heard something about focus. So I believe the few words you are about to read are heaven’s message for you this morning.
And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. – Luk 9:62 KJV
Dear married couple, I write to you this morning on one ingredient you need, not only in your marriage but in life.
It is called focus! I like the definition that says “To concentrate attention or energy.”
In this contemporaneous world filled with mega distractions, there is no such time as this when this message becomes relevant.
When the devil wants to trap you, he brings distractions. The moment you are enticed and yielded, the focus is broken and the process of what God is trying to do in your life becomes delayed.
A child of God attending night parties for example will have his or her focus broken. There are things they do at night parties that you wouldn’t be able to share testimonies about, so there is no point wasting your time in such places. It’s just distractions.
There are ungodly friends that you keep that can break your focus. Many a life has been ruined by wrong associations.
When you engage in adultery, it’s a distraction and your focus will be broken. No matter how nice the person is, what is wrong is wrong!
The moment you put your hand on the plough, a process about your life and the plan of God for you begins and it is gradually unveiled. The moment you start to compromise, you tamper with that process! You are not supposed to look back. Looking back is not a kingdom mentality.
In the amours of a believer listed in the book of Ephesians, only the back has no protection! Why? You are not meant to look back!
The question is what do you focus on?
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am focused. I will not be distracted.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you focus and cause your face to be set like a flint
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 50:7 AMP For the Lord God helps Me; therefore have I not been ashamed or confounded. Therefore have I set My face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Consciously disengage yourself from every distraction
