What Are You Thinking?

What Are You Thinking?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

What Are You Thinking?

I used to feel that my thoughts were harmless and not toxic since they remained in my realm of thoughts. I believed I wasn’t doing anybody harm – not my marriage, my situation, and of course, not myself. 

I was deceived and didn’t consider my thoughts ‘all that bad’, but I will admit they were far from positive, beautiful, and empowering. I beat myself down most of the time, thinking about the gloomy side of things and life. 

Those thoughts controlled me and my actions, and I was a very gloomy person, discouraged, and not achieving my goals. The question I want to ask us this morning is, what are your thought patterns about yourself and your marriage and relationship? 

“As a man thinketh, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7)

You are what you have been thinking about. Your marriage is as strong as your thoughts about it. Your relationship will be as strong as the thoughts you entertain.

You might be saying, “I don’t think of pornography, masturbation, fornication, or lustful thoughts. What about negative, evil thoughts?”

Proverbs 12:20 KJV [20] Deceit is in the heart of those who imagine evil: But to the counselors of peace is joy.

From this scripture, those who fill their hearts with evil, negative thoughts will be deceived.

God calls rebellion against Him and His word “evil”. That’s what He told the Israelites. What are you thinking about yourself, your partner, your spouse, your relationship, and your marriage?

You have to be disciplined enough to carefully choose your thoughts and not allow the devil to just dump any thoughts on your mind. I used to feel and think I was helpless about my thoughts, but I know better now. I thought that whatever thoughts came into my mind, I had to dwell on them. On the contrary, we are empowered to resist any thought that doesn’t benefit us.

We have to be strong enough to stand up to the devil and reject any negative thoughts. The Bible calls it ‘casting down’; this paints a picture of taking those negative thoughts and slamming them down. It’s a conscious, deliberate, and decisive effort in dealing with thoughts that seek to keep us down.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 KJV [4] (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds;) [5] casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

A negative pattern of thinking becomes a stronghold when the devil makes it our regular pattern or way of thinking. Remember not to allow negative thinking patterns to fester in your mind towards your partner or spouse. Fill your mind with empowering thoughts. 

See the scripture in Philippians 4:8 of what the Lord calls right thoughts. He alone knows how best we should function because He created us.

Philippians 4:8 KJV [8] Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

We need to study each of these words in other translations because the battlefield is the mind. When we win in our minds, we win in life. Let your thoughts about your relationship and marriage be good thoughts, and you will eat the fruits thereof.

God bless your relationship and marriage.




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Understanding That Special Gender

Understanding That Special Gender

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Understanding That Special Gender

1. Understand the God she serves
 
One of the sure ways to understand that special lady in your life is to seek to understand her maker.

Nobody understands a product like the manufacturer of that product. 

Nobody, no human being will ever understand her like God would.
 
So, the beginning of the journey is when the man develops a conscious relationship with God.
 
When you are rooted in God’s love, God will now cause His love to be shed abroad in your hearts.
 
As you begin to understand the breadth, the length and the depth and height of this love, this will give you a wisdom that surpasses every effort in trying to understand her, and you will know how to do the right things that will unlock her creativity and make her feel loved.

Eph 3:17-19 (KJV) 
That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,  [18]  May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;  [19]  And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.


2. Understand the Needs she has
 
Her needs are specialized and peculiar.
 
They are different from your own needs.
 
From spiritual needs to physically needs and emotional needs, you have to find out!

You will immediately discover her preferences that what excites you on Television doesn’t not tickle her fancy! Find out and seek to meet those needs!
 
3. Understand the Language she speaks

Her language is like her password. It could be gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch or acts of service.

You don’t communicate to her on your own terms but on her own terms.
 
Find out her definition of “romantic” and go after that.
 
The definition of the word “romantic” is not what you find in a dictionary, but there is a dictionary in her mind with its own definition like no other, authored by her, and you have to find a way to retrieve that dictionary and check the definition which would often be different from what you think.

 
4. Understand the pressures she faces
 
She usually has pressures. Most times, she is not even seeking for those pressures to be taken away, because they are often necessities of life.
 
She just wants to know that there is somebody who understands what she is going though.
 
Many years ago, my wife explained this to me.
 
She was pouring her hearts to me, and expounding her pressures and at a point I burst out;
 
“Hey! I am not the Holy Spirit. I cannot take these things away!”
 
“And then she looked at me with that her angelic face that often makes my heart to race, and said,
 
“I know you are not the Holy Spirit. I am not asking you to solve these issues, I only want to have a feeling somebody understands what I am going through!
 
Wow! That is what that lady in your life wants! An understanding heart.
 
And that takes the pressures off the pressures!
 
She just wants an understanding, loving and caring man!

Unfortunately, most times, single ladies look for this in wrong places and often fall into the hands of men who are only looking for sexual gratification.
 
If you are a single lady, make your needs known to God and never offer your body in exchange for some care that will vaporise the next minute!
 
Wait for the process of meeting that right man who will love you appropriately and will take care of you!

May God grant you strength in your inner man to cooperate with God. 
So, I will stop here this morning.

Ultimately, pray for wisdom from God to help you be a good lover to your fiancée or spouse in very specific ways.
 
The Holy Spirit teaches us all things, so he would offer you some ideas.
 
I pray that God will give you wisdom in Jesus name!




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Did God Lose It?

Did God Lose It?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Did God Lose It?

Sandy’s face contorted in pain as she strolled alone, her face an exact picture of the rush of confused emotions that gripped her soul. 

How could this ever happen to me? She queried a non-existent companion.

Her pain had been triggered by a huge financial loss in her business and had been exacerbated by the sudden break up of a promising relationship. The guy simply eloped with another babe, no explanation!

Sure, this is not supposed to happen to me. She queried again, loudly as if her invisible companion caused it all. 

She looked up and screamed, God, why?

Many of us are in Sandy’s shoes, probably even going through something worse, where it feels as though “God has lost it over one’s life!”

Some are going through intense times in their marriages and homes. From dealing with an irresponsible spouse to health issues and financial pressures. The list is endless.

Are you at that place where it feels as though you are abandoned and God isn’t looking at your side?

I have been there several times. My wife ahs been there several times.

At such time, the first thing you need is an assurance in your heart from God.

I want to share with you the assurance God gave me in one of such times.

Jer 29:11 (MSG) I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Wow!

That is huge. God says He knows what He is doing!

He is not confused about your life! 

He has it all planned out! He will take care of you and He will not abandon you! 

Stay on this word, study it, meditate on it, pray on it and you will see light begin to shine in that darkness!

I pray for you, to receive God’s intervention today in Jesus’ name!




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Pruning Our Love Garden 

Pruning Our Love Garden 

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Pruning Our Love Garden 

It is good when we view our marriage and relationship like a garden. When you hear “garden,” what comes to your mind? A beautiful picture of a well-tended piece of land, beautiful and colorful flowers, with fragrance and no weeds. Apart from the fact that when you see a garden, you know that someone or some people have been responsible, consistently working. There are three elements I want us to look at in considering the marriage and relationship as a garden.

  1. Pulling out weeds
  2. Planting Seeds
  3. Killing the snakes

Let me explain in detail what I mean.

1. Pulling weeds

Every garden has a tendency for weeds to grow in them if left untended. Weeds are bad habits, human bad habits such as poor communication, lack of commitment, threatening with divorce or breaking up, lack of respect, use of negative words like ‘never’, ‘always’, not actively listening to our spouse or partner, lack of understanding each other and the list goes on.

Whatever will cause our relationship and marriage not to blossom and thrive are weeds. They need to be pulled out. This takes consistent, conscious, and deliberate efforts on our part to pull the weeds out. As the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side but someone is tilling the ground and wetting the grass.

2. Plant the Seeds

Seeds are what I call the good habits. Those things we want to see in our relationship and marriage. It is not just good enough to pull out the weeds; we should be proactive and intentional about planting good seeds. Seeds of what we do to our partner in a relationship and spouse in marriage.

We should not just do bad stuff to our partner and spouse but we should do good stuff to our partner. Being kind, being tender and gentle, showing each other respect, being thoughtful, loving our partner, forgiveness, not counting scores, treating each other with thoughtfulness, taking time to understand your spouse or partner. We can always add to this list.

3. Kill the snakes

Sometimes we do all the right things in a relationship and in marriage but things still go wrong. The relationship still breaks and the marriage still ends up in divorce. The snakes are ‘spiritual problems or issues’. There are not just weeds and seeds but there are also snakes. These are the dangerous intruders from the enemy of our relationship and marriage. They seek to steal, kill, and destroy.

We don’t pull out the snakes; we kill them. Some of us are not aware of the existence of snakes in our relationship and marriage. We need to be aware of them and arm ourselves with the right weapons of God’s word, prayer, and an understanding of our authority in Christ Jesus and the finished work of the cross.




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When You Face God To Give Account 

When You Face God To Give Account 

Reading Time: 2 minutes

When You Face God To Give Account 

I spoke along this line in church yesterday and I will just admonish us with this, I hope it blesses someone!

The scripture makes it clear as believers, we will face God one day and give an account of our lives, and how we lived on this side of the world.

We are not to live irresponsibly! 

We are to conduct our lives and live as though we will give account because we will SURELY give account!

In what areas are we going to give account? Find it below in a simple presentation I used in church yesterday.

These seven areas are what you should pay attention to. It seems to cover every part of our lives. What this means is that we will give an account of all areas of our lives! 

  1. Words Spoken
  2. Actions and Deeds
  3. Thoughts and Intentions
  4. How We Use Our Resources
  5. How We Treat Others
  6. Response to God’s Revelation
  7. Our Spiritual Influence on Others

Not just our words, but also our actions and deeds, and even our intentions are going to be examined!

Bringing that to our relationships and marriages, how we relate with our spouses, and our thoughts towards them are all going to be examined, and we will give account.

We all know how emotional affairs begin from the thought realm. Well, we will give an account of our thoughts and intentions! 

Heb 4:13 (KJV) Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.

With this realization, it is important we love fully and with a focus on our spouses because a day of reckoning is coming. 

Who wants to stand before the Lord of Lords and be stammering and be found wanting? Certainly not me. What about you?

Treat your husband well. Treat your wife well. Be nice. Stay faithful. Love with focus. May God help us all.




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