How to Discuss Marriage Early in a Relationship

How to Discuss Marriage Early in a Relationship

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Hey there, friend! Let’s dive into one of those “big topics” we’re all curious about but maybe a little hesitant to bring up— marriage. If you’re in a relationship and you’re serious about building something beautiful and lasting, this conversation isn’t just important—it’s essential. But don’t worry, I’ve got some tips to help you navigate this with grace, humor, and maybe a little prayer. 💒

Why Talking About Marriage Early Matters

Okay, real talk: discussing marriage early in a relationship can feel…awkward. Like, how do you go from chatting about your favorite Netflix show to “So, what are your thoughts on lifelong commitment under God’s design?” 😅

But here’s the thing: early conversations about marriage can save you a ton of heartbreak later. It’s like Proverbs 24:3 says, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.” Starting with open communication is like laying the foundation for your future “house” together. Plus, understanding where you both stand helps ensure you’re building toward the same dream, not two totally different blueprints.

Picking the Right Moment: No Pressure, Just Chill

Timing is everything. Don’t drop the M-word in the middle of a Taco Bell drive-thru, okay? Instead, look for a setting where you both feel relaxed and unhurried. Think:

  • A cozy evening on the couch, maybe after a good movie (romantic vibes = on point).
  • A walk in the park—nature’s always a great icebreaker!
  • A low-key coffee date where you can chat uninterrupted.

The goal is to create a space where both of you can be real, vulnerable, and comfortable sharing your hearts. And remember, no distractions. That means silencing your phones (yes, even yours).

marriage

How to Start the Conversation Without Freaking Them Out

You don’t need a 10-point PowerPoint presentation or a full sermon to bring up marriage. Keep it casual! Here are a few easy ways to ease into it:

  1. Highlight the Good Stuff: Start with what’s working in your relationship. Something like, “I really love how we connect, and I can see us going the distance.”
  2. Be Curious: Instead of telling, start asking. Try, “What are your thoughts on marriage someday? Is it something you’ve thought about?”
  3. Stay Open-Minded: Even if their response isn’t exactly what you hoped, don’t panic. Everyone’s journey is different, and understanding their perspective is key to growth.

Think of this convo as planting seeds, not harvesting the whole crop. It’s about starting the dialogue, not rushing to conclusions.

What If They’re Not Ready (Yet)?

Maybe your partner doesn’t exactly light up at the word “marriage,” and that’s okay. Resist the urge to throw 1 Corinthians 7:9 at them (“It is better to marry than to burn with passion,” anyone?). Instead, practice patience. Relationships are about mutual understanding, and not everyone moves at the same pace.

Here’s how to handle it:

  • Ask Why: Gently ask what’s holding them back. Maybe they’re unsure about finances, career goals, or even past heartbreak.
  • Reassure Them: Let them know you’re not rushing but that this is something important to you.
  • Pray About It: Seriously, take this one to God. Ask Him for wisdom, peace, and clarity for both of you (Philippians 4:6-7).

Signs You’re Both Ready for “The Talk”

How do you know when it’s time to bring this up? Look for signs like:

  • You’re both talking about the future (like where you want to live or how many dogs you’ll adopt).
  • You’re comfortable discussing faith, family, and other big topics without awkwardness.
  • You both actively support each other’s dreams and goals.

When these things are already part of your relationship, it’s a good sign you’re ready to talk long-term.

Final Thoughts

Talking about marriage doesn’t have to be scary—it can actually bring you closer together. It’s about laying the groundwork for a Christ-centered relationship where both of you can grow in love and faith.

And hey, if the conversation doesn’t go perfectly, that’s okay. Relationships are a journey, and God’s got this. Just keep Ephesians 4:2-3 in mind: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

Now go forth and have that conversation—with courage, wisdom, and maybe a little humor. You’ve got this! 💛

Loving Without Unloving God

Loving Without Unloving God

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Loving Without Unloving God

Ade and Sandra are so much in love. They were both God-loving but something changed the moment they began a relationship. Their relationship with God plummeted. Their prayer life suffered. Bible studies gave way to endless chatting and love poem compositions.

It also happened with the Johnson couple. Once married, their relationship with God suffered.

Where is the balance? What are the issues?

Loving Without Unloving God

Your toasting skill alone will not sustain a relationship. There are things you are going to confront and fight that do not recognize mere romantic rhetoric.

Your ability to trip her and take her to Dubai every weekend and take each other all around the world, do not arrest the enemy of your soul.

Hear this word:

“Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.” (Psa 127:1, KJV)

The word “house” also means family. Except the Lord builds a family, all the labours of outings, toasting, shopping, all the emotional energy expended, all the times, and more are all in vain, wasted, and gone into oblivion.

In other words, your love equation without God becomes an unsolvable equation.

The next question then “How do you make sure God is the builder of your relationship, marriage or family?

They are so simple. Here are some tips.

Loving Without Unloving God

1. Make sure you put God first place in everything you are going to do. Never ever relegate Him because of some love affair. For example, you use to wake up by 5.00am to pray and worship God, but since you fell in love, prayer time has suffered because of calls and chatting with your lover. If you take notice, you will always be quarreling because something vital is not in place! The same in marriage. You were all on fire for God, but once married, no flicker of light! Ensure you light up your fire, even in marriage!

2. Never allow a relationship, courtship, or marriage to draw you away from God When you do that, it will not work out fine. That is what the scripture says.

3. Do not get involved with someone who doesn’t love God. Do not get involved with someone whose spiritual life you cannot vouch for. Anybody that will snuff out the fire of God in you is not appropriate for you. Don’t even think you can change anybody: when you have not been able to change yourself!

And if you are already married, seek help and counsel.

4. Aside from the salvation experience, ask some other questions. Who are his or her pastors/mentors? Who are his or her friends?

5. What are people around you saying about the relationship? Friends, pastors, respected authority figures, and so on?

Already married? Have a mutual mentor that you speak to from time to time. A successful marriage is never done in isolation.

May God grant us more understanding.


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