How to Discuss Marriage Early in a Relationship
Reading Time: 3 minutesHey there, friend! Let’s dive into one of those “big topics” we’re all curious about but maybe a little hesitant to bring up— marriage. If you’re in a relationship and you’re serious about building something beautiful and lasting, this conversation isn’t just important—it’s essential. But don’t worry, I’ve got some tips to help you navigate this with grace, humor, and maybe a little prayer. 💒
Why Talking About Marriage Early Matters
Okay, real talk: discussing marriage early in a relationship can feel…awkward. Like, how do you go from chatting about your favorite Netflix show to “So, what are your thoughts on lifelong commitment under God’s design?” 😅
But here’s the thing: early conversations about marriage can save you a ton of heartbreak later. It’s like Proverbs 24:3 says, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.” Starting with open communication is like laying the foundation for your future “house” together. Plus, understanding where you both stand helps ensure you’re building toward the same dream, not two totally different blueprints.
Picking the Right Moment: No Pressure, Just Chill
Timing is everything. Don’t drop the M-word in the middle of a Taco Bell drive-thru, okay? Instead, look for a setting where you both feel relaxed and unhurried. Think:
- A cozy evening on the couch, maybe after a good movie (romantic vibes = on point).
- A walk in the park—nature’s always a great icebreaker!
- A low-key coffee date where you can chat uninterrupted.
The goal is to create a space where both of you can be real, vulnerable, and comfortable sharing your hearts. And remember, no distractions. That means silencing your phones (yes, even yours).
How to Start the Conversation Without Freaking Them Out
You don’t need a 10-point PowerPoint presentation or a full sermon to bring up marriage. Keep it casual! Here are a few easy ways to ease into it:
- Highlight the Good Stuff: Start with what’s working in your relationship. Something like, “I really love how we connect, and I can see us going the distance.”
- Be Curious: Instead of telling, start asking. Try, “What are your thoughts on marriage someday? Is it something you’ve thought about?”
- Stay Open-Minded: Even if their response isn’t exactly what you hoped, don’t panic. Everyone’s journey is different, and understanding their perspective is key to growth.
Think of this convo as planting seeds, not harvesting the whole crop. It’s about starting the dialogue, not rushing to conclusions.
What If They’re Not Ready (Yet)?
Maybe your partner doesn’t exactly light up at the word “marriage,” and that’s okay. Resist the urge to throw 1 Corinthians 7:9 at them (“It is better to marry than to burn with passion,” anyone?). Instead, practice patience. Relationships are about mutual understanding, and not everyone moves at the same pace.
Here’s how to handle it:
- Ask Why: Gently ask what’s holding them back. Maybe they’re unsure about finances, career goals, or even past heartbreak.
- Reassure Them: Let them know you’re not rushing but that this is something important to you.
- Pray About It: Seriously, take this one to God. Ask Him for wisdom, peace, and clarity for both of you (Philippians 4:6-7).
Signs You’re Both Ready for “The Talk”
How do you know when it’s time to bring this up? Look for signs like:
- You’re both talking about the future (like where you want to live or how many dogs you’ll adopt).
- You’re comfortable discussing faith, family, and other big topics without awkwardness.
- You both actively support each other’s dreams and goals.
When these things are already part of your relationship, it’s a good sign you’re ready to talk long-term.
Final Thoughts
Talking about marriage doesn’t have to be scary—it can actually bring you closer together. It’s about laying the groundwork for a Christ-centered relationship where both of you can grow in love and faith.
And hey, if the conversation doesn’t go perfectly, that’s okay. Relationships are a journey, and God’s got this. Just keep Ephesians 4:2-3 in mind: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
Now go forth and have that conversation—with courage, wisdom, and maybe a little humor. You’ve got this! 💛
