Preparing for marriage as a single person is a wise thing to do. Lack of adequate preparation can cause the marriage to fail. Most singles however don’t know what or how to prepare for marriage. These 5 simple tips provides you with what to concentrate on. The list is not exhausted but you can start with this.
1. Develop a Deep Relationship with God
Before building a life with someone else, build a strong foundation with God. A thriving spiritual life sets the tone for a godly marriage.
Cultivate regular prayer, worship, and time in the Word. Learn to hear God’s voice for yourself—you’ll need it when making decisions with a spouse.
2. Work on Emotional Healing and Wholeness
Unresolved wounds can spill into your future marriage. Take time to confront past trauma, brokenness, or bitterness so you don’t carry them into your new home.
See a counselor, talk to a mentor, or start journaling through emotional triggers. Wholeness is the best gift you can offer your future spouse.
3. Learn Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills
Marriage thrives on communication—not just talking but listening, understanding, and working through disagreements with love.
Practice these skills now with friends, family, or coworkers. Notice how you react under pressure and work on being honest, kind, and calm in tough moments.
4. Be Financially and Personally Responsible
Marriage involves shared goals and responsibilities. Learning to manage your finances, time, and home life now helps reduce future stress.
Create a budget, build a savings habit, and learn basic life skills—like cooking, cleaning, or scheduling. Self-discipline now = peace later.
5. Surround Yourself with Healthy Relationships and Mentorship
The people you spend time with shape your expectations and character. Community and mentorship help you prepare with wisdom and accountability.
Seek out married couples you admire. Ask questions. Learn from their mistakes and wins. Build friendships that challenge you to grow in godly maturity.
Married couples, too, can find these 5 tips beneficial to them.
Diving into a serious relationship isn’t something to take lightly, right? It’s not just about finding someone cute to Netflix with on weekends. It’s about understanding yourself and being ready to share your life with someone else in a deeper way. How do you know if you’re actually ready? Here are some clear signs—and trust me, it’s more than just a vibe.
1. You’re Emotionally Stable (Most of the Time)
Life can get messy, and relationships can make it even messier. But if you can handle stress, manage your emotions, and talk about your feelings without spiraling, you’re probably more ready for commitment than you think. Emotional stability is key because, in a relationship, you’ll face stuff that tests your patience and your ability to compromise. Think about it: Can you keep your cool when things go sideways? If yes, you’re off to a solid start.
Quick Check-In:
Do you bounce back from setbacks without holding grudges?
Are you able to talk things out instead of bottling them up?
2. You Know What You Want (And What You Don’t)
Got some personal goals? Whether it’s crushing it in your career, traveling the world, or saving for a tiny house, having clarity on your dreams means you’re not just floating along. When you know what you want from life, it’s easier to find someone whose goals vibe with yours. Plus, a relationship should add to your life, not derail it.
How to Get There:
Write down your goals. Make a vision board or start a journal.
Think about what values and qualities matter most to you in a partner.
3. You Can Compromise Without Feeling Like You’re Losing
Relationships need compromise—it’s basically the fine print in the relationship contract. If you can balance what you want with what your partner wants, without feeling like you’re giving up too much, you’re ready for a serious relationship. It could be little things, like deciding where to eat, or bigger stuff, like budgeting for shared goals.
Examples of Healthy Compromises:
The travel vs. saving debate: Agree on one big trip and save the rest.
Weekend plans: Split time between things you each love.
4. Communication? You’re Pretty Good at It
Good communication is EVERYTHING in relationships. If you’re ready to listen, share your thoughts openly, and actually talk things through, you’re on the right track. Relationships need open dialogue and active listening—like really listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk.
Communication Tips:
Practice using “I” statements (“I feel like…” instead of “You always…”).
Be honest, but kind—speak the truth, but keep it respectful.
5. You’ve Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are key because they help keep the balance between “we” and “me.” When you have healthy boundaries, you’re less likely to lose yourself in the relationship or feel overwhelmed. A serious relationship isn’t about merging identities but about keeping individuality while growing together.
How to Set Boundaries:
Know your non-negotiables. What are your hard limits?
Communicate these to your partner in a clear and kind way.
6. You’ve Got a Solid Support System
Having a reliable group of friends or family you can turn to is a big deal. A support system can keep you grounded, give you a reality check, and help you process any relationship ups and downs. Plus, if you’re only leaning on your partner for support, things can get heavy fast.
Pro Tips for Building Your Support Squad:
Stay connected to friends and family, even when you’re in a relationship.
Reach out regularly—check in on others and share updates about your life.
7. You’ve Learned From Your Past Relationships
If you’ve looked back on your past relationships and actually learned something from them, congrats—you’re ahead of the game. Reflecting on past relationships helps you recognize patterns (good and bad) and gives you insight into what you need to work on before jumping into something serious again.
Reflective Questions:
What went wrong in past relationships, and what could you change?
What did you enjoy, and what do you want to find again in a new relationship?
8. You Crave Real Intimacy, Not Just the Fun Stuff
Wanting to connect on a deeper level with someone—emotionally and physically—is a strong sign of readiness. It’s the difference between casual dating and seriously wanting to build something meaningful. This kind of intimacy goes beyond cute Instagram photos; it’s about sharing your highs and lows and feeling safe enough to be vulnerable.
Ways to Cultivate Intimacy:
Spend quality time doing things that make you feel close.
Share your thoughts, dreams, and even insecurities.
Are You Ready?
Being ready for a serious relationship doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It just means you’re in a place where you know yourself, you know what you want, and you’re willing to put in the work. Relationships aren’t easy, but when you’re truly ready, they’re a lot more rewarding. So, take a look at where you’re at, and if you check most of these boxes, maybe you’re more ready than you think.
30 Shocking Realities Before Marriage by Eno Jerry Part 2
We started on this yesterday and we will conclude today.
19. Manage Expectations
It’s normal to fantasize about marriage and picture the ideal relationship. However, unrealistic expectations can damage a union if not addressed. When two individuals commit their lives together, compromise is necessary.
No one is perfect, so don’t expect your partner to meet all of your emotional or physical needs without also meeting theirs. Appreciate your significant other for who they are, not who you imagine them to be. Small irritations that seemed minor before may bother you more as a married couple.
20. Find Purpose
Also, your partner should not have to fulfill your purpose or identity. While support is important, relying on them solely for happiness places unfair pressure on their shoulders. Maintain interests and friendships outside the marriage for balance.
Similarly, allow your partner space to follow their dreams too. Whether it’s furthering education, changing careers, or pursuing hobbies, encourage each other’s goals. Make time for activities you each enjoy separately as well as together.
21. Be Flexible
Compromise means considering your spouse’s perspective and finding solutions that work for you both. Be willing to bend when possible and don’t just think of yourself. With patience and teamwork, you can overcome challenges as a united front. Going into marriage with realistic views sets the stage for a fulfilling partnership built on mutual understanding and support. Unmet fantasies often stem the root of dissatisfaction.
22. Work on Communication
Strong communication serves as the foundation for any healthy relationship. However, speaking and listening with understanding do not always come naturally and require effort. As a couple, make developing this skill a priority.
Start by listening without judgment or assumptions when your partner speaks.
Focus fully on what they say rather than thinking of your response. Ask clarifying questions if needed so you can see things from their perspective. All these are important before marriage.
When sharing your feelings or needs, do so respectfully using “I statements” instead of accusations. Say something like “I feel upset when you forget our plans because I was looking forward to our time together.” This avoids placing blame.
Discussing disagreements kindly helps resolve issues rather than letting them fester. Come prepared to compromise rather than demand your way. Take breaks if tensions rise so you can return to difficult topics with clearer heads.
23. Don’t Sweep Issues Under The Carpet.
Small problems become big ones if not addressed. So talk through everyday annoyances before they accumulate. Catching issues early gives the best chance of a resolution that satisfies you both. With practice, you’ll strengthen your ability to communicate supportively as a team.
Healthy communication habits take work but are well worth establishing as the foundation for a strong marriage. Facing challenges together through respectful discussion helps deepen understanding and intimacy between partners
24. Seek Counseling if Needed
Even couples excited about marriage may have areas to improve before tying the knot. Pre-marital counseling provides an objective third party to help identify issues and give you tools to build a healthy relationship.
A counselor can guide meaningful discussions that you and your partner find difficult alone. They’ll prompt reflection on your backgrounds, values, expectations, and communication styles. This helps ensure you see eye to eye on important topics and are ready to support each other.
Working through any existing problems with a professional also gives the best chance of overcoming them. Bottled-up resentment or unresolved conflicts from your past are less likely to negatively impact your marriage.
Pre-marital sessions teach relationship skills like active listening, “I statements,” compromising, and managing conflict. Practicing these with guidance strengthens your bond and ability to face challenges together down the road.
Don’t be afraid to seek counseling if you notice areas of concern. It takes courage to address problems head-on with your partner and a counselor. But it provides so much benefit to working through difficulties before marriage rather than hoping they’ll disappear after “I dos.”
With counseling, you’ll feel confident that you and your significant other are fully prepared for the commitment of marriage. Your union will be built on a strong foundation of understanding, trust, and communication from the very beginning.
25. Signs It May Not Last
While every couple faces obstacles, some partnerships show red flags indicating deeper issues. If several of these signs apply to your relationship, seriously consider whether you and your partner are ready for marriage. It’s better to acknowledge problems now rather than later.
26. Lack of Commitment
One or both individuals are not fully bought into the marriage. They are not willing to put in the effort it requires through good and bad. One or both feet may still be out the door. Before marriage, this area should be sorted.
27. Inability to Solve Problems
Major conflicts over important issues like finances, intimacy, or in-laws are left unresolved. Partners lack effective communication skills and are unable or unwilling to find compromises. This is a crucial area that needs to be addressed before marriage.
28. Unrealistic Expectations
One or both have an idealized, fantasy view of marriage and relationships rather than a realistic one. They expect their partner to meet all their needs and resolve all their issues. Before marriage, unrealistic expectations should be discarded.
29. Lack of Trust or Respect
There are underlying trust issues due to past hurts, different values, or personality clashes. Partners disrespect one another through insensitive words, dismissal of feelings, or private criticism. If this happened before marriage without check, it will still happen afterward.
30. Frequent or Escalating Arguments
Disagreements happen, but true red flags include arguments that end in personal attacks, name-calling, or one partner trying to control the other through anger or tears.
Take time to reflect on whether any of these signs ring true for your relationship. Addressing concerns with counseling before marriage gives the best chance at a healthy union built to stand the test of time.
