The Song of Songs, a book of love and intimacy, opens with such profound lines that I would love to present to you today.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: For thy LOVE IS BETTER THAN WINE.” Song of Solomon 1:2 KJV
This verse captures a strong intimacy between the bride and her groom. There was an intense desire for one another locked up in the hearts of these lovers. This verse should, however, not just be read with the physical sensual passion in mind, but with the wholistic view of intimacy. You can’t even achieve the highest pleasure on the bed as a couple if you are not intimate outside the bedroom. So intimacy goes beyond the activities in the bedroom.
Intimacy is about how he is thoughtful about you and things concerning you. Intimacy is about how you occupy her heart. Intimacy is in those cares and little acts of kindness. Intimacy is in how nothing else competes with you in his heart, where your love is indeed better than wine. Intimacy is in how you look out for one another. It’s in those random calls to say, “I was just thinking of you.”
My dear couples, do you have this burning intimacy between you and your spouse? No? Then it’s something to begin to strongly desire, pray for, and work toward. Marriage was designed for this kind of beauty.
My dear singles, that one professing love for and to you, do you really weigh in his/her heart? Or are you simply a makeshift? Are you Someone he/she is just settling for because age is no longer a friend? Wash your eyes and marry well, my dear.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: For thy LOVE IS BETTER THAN WINE.”
Kai… I can’t seem to get over this. There is really something strong going on here.
What the bride was simply saying here is: Our love is intoxicating. Our love for each other is better than any other thing.
Their hearts were strongly locked in desire for one another.
Dear couple, don’t settle for less.
Not by constantly nagging your spouse, but by intentionally becoming an intimate partner while gently nudging your spouse. Plant that random kiss. Send that random text message that says “I care,” or “I’m thinking about you.” Be thoughtful and secretly buy that thing for your spouse and gift him/her.
Dear single, don’t settle for less.
Marriage is meant to be beautiful, so don’t settle for someone who doesn’t value you. Become that person who intentionally loves and doesn’t settle for one who is not. The LORD has someone amazing for you too; but if you don’t break up with the one occupying space, how will you receive the one God has for you?
What Happens When Two Choleric Temperaments Fall in Love?
So, You’re Both Choleric—Now What?
Let’s dive into the choleric temperament, the go-getter of all temperaments. If you’re the type who’s always got a plan, doesn’t back down from a challenge, and can’t stand slow progress, you might be rocking that choleric vibe. You’re the person who dives headfirst into leadership roles, thrives on setting and smashing goals, and radiates confidence in every room you enter. But with all that fiery determination comes a bit of a catch—impatience. If things don’t move at your speed (which, let’s be real, is often faster than most), frustration can bubble up quicker than you’d like. And when it does, your short fuse might lead to some intense moments.
Now, picture this: two choleric temperaments tying the knot. It’s like mixing two unstoppable forces—sounds epic, right? But it’s also a recipe for some major power struggles if you’re not careful.
Double Trouble or Double the Fun?
When two cholerics marry, you’re in for a wild ride. On the plus side, you’ve got a partner who matches your energy, drive, and ambition. Imagine the power couple vibes—taking on the world together, smashing goals, and motivating each other to keep leveling up. But, here’s the thing: both of you are used to being in charge. So, when opinions clash (and they will), you might find yourselves in some heated debates, even over the smallest decisions.
But don’t sweat it—those debates don’t have to be all bad. They can actually keep your relationship lively and full of intellectual sparks. The key is finding that sweet spot between constructive debate and full-on conflict. If you can respect each other’s strong personalities and learn to navigate those power struggles, you’ll be golden.
How to Make It Work (Without Losing Your Mind)
Talk It Out, Like, Really Talk It Out: Communication is everything, especially when you’ve both got strong opinions. But it’s not just about talking—it’s about listening. Yeah, I know, easier said than done when you’ve got a million ideas. Try active listening—actually hearing what your partner is saying instead of just waiting for your turn to talk.
Set Some Ground Rules for Arguments: Let’s be real—arguments are going to happen. The trick is not letting them spiral out of control. Maybe agree on a ‘time-out’ system when things get too heated, or set a rule that you’ll revisit the issue after a cool-down period. It’s all about keeping things from boiling over.
Team Up, Don’t Tear Down: Instead of battling each other, channel that energy into joint problem-solving. Set goals together, and work as a team to achieve them. It’s not about who’s right or wrong—it’s about finding solutions that work for both of you.
Real-Life Choleric Love Stories
Mark and Lisa are the definition of a power couple. Both driven and determined, they were instantly drawn to each other’s ambition. But that same drive led to a lot of head-butting early in their marriage. They had to learn to channel their competitive spirits towards shared goals instead of against each other. Today, they’re unstoppable together, using their intensity as a force for good in their relationship.
Then there’s David and Mary, who both have high-pressure jobs that demand resilience and assertiveness. They’ve mastered the art of compromise, knowing when to push and when to pull back. Their secret? Clear boundaries and open communication. They’ve turned what could be a volatile mix into a dynamic, balanced partnership.
And finally, Peter and Jane, with over two decades under their belt, learned the hard way that two cholerics need to stay on top of their game to keep things smooth. But through candid discussions and a strong teamwork ethic, they’ve created a resilient and thriving relationship.
So, What’s the Bottom Line?
If you’re both choleric, your marriage has the potential to be incredibly powerful—or intensely challenging. The secret sauce is all about respecting each other’s strengths, communicating effectively, and knowing when to compromise. When you get it right, your relationship can be a powerhouse of mutual growth and achievement.
What about you? How do you handle power dynamics in your relationship? Drop your thoughts in the comments, or let’s chat about it!
