Dating Then and Now: From Traditional Love to Digital Connections

Dating Then and Now: From Traditional Love to Digital Connections

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Let’s talk about something we all deal with at some point: dating. Whether you’re trying to navigate the world of dating apps or holding onto more traditional approaches, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for love. And if you’re a Christian young adult trying to balance your faith with modern dating trends? Yeah, that adds a whole new layer of complexity!

What Are Dating Styles, Anyway?

Dating styles refer to the unique approaches people take when forming romantic connections. Some lean towards traditional methods rooted in culture, family, and clear intentions, while others are more about modern, laid-back encounters, often influenced by social media and technology. Understanding these dating styles is essential—because if you’re on different pages than your partner about what you want, it can create a lot of unnecessary drama.

Factors like culture, background, and even your past experiences shape how you date. Maybe you grew up in a family that emphasized long-term commitment, or maybe you’ve been burned by casual relationships in the past. All these things influence your approach to love.

As a Christian, you might also be trying to stay true to your values, which can make navigating modern dating trends a bit tricky. But guess what? It’s totally possible to respect both your faith and your unique dating preferences. Let’s break it down.

Traditional Dating: More Than Just Dinner and a Movie

Let’s rewind a bit. Traditional dating is about intentionality—it’s about pursuing relationships that are rooted in family values, commitment, and the goal of long-term love. This style isn’t just about hanging out; it’s about courtship, a term that implies respect, consideration, and care.

For many, especially in cultures where family approval matters, traditional dating involves seeking your family’s blessing before you get too serious. Think of it like this: getting Mom and Dad’s seal of approval isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s a must in some cultures. In the Christian faith, this aligns with the idea of honoring your parents and ensuring that your relationship is built on solid, respectful foundations.

Key Features of Traditional Dating:

  • Commitment & Intentions: No playing around. It’s about long-term connection.
  • Family Involvement: Parents or the community often play a role in the relationship.
  • Clear Expectations: No guessing games. You both know where things are headed.

Many people who prefer this style believe that it leads to more stable, secure relationships. There’s a lot of comfort in the structure—if you’re someone who values marriage and family, traditional dating may feel more aligned with your goals.

Modern Dating: Casual, Flexible, and Sometimes a Little Too Fast

Flash forward to the present: modern dating is all about choices, freedom, and technology. Thanks to apps, meeting people has never been easier (or faster). The culture has shifted towards more casual connections, where dating can feel like a low-pressure activity—no heavy commitment required.

For Gen Z and millennial daters, this often means going on a few dates, feeling things out, and seeing where they go without an immediate expectation of commitment. This kind of dating feels liberating for many, as it allows for a more fluid experience. If you’re someone who enjoys exploring connections without feeling locked down right away, modern dating gives you the space to do just that.

However, while modern dating can be a lot of fun, it can also be a bit of a rollercoaster. The rise of ghosting, “situationships,” and unclear intentions can leave you feeling confused or frustrated. That’s where a Christian worldview can bring some clarity.

Navigating Modern & Traditional Styles Together

So, here’s the big question: how do you blend the best of both worlds? Can you be modern while holding onto traditional values? The answer is yes, but it requires intentionality and clear communication.

Here’s how to create a balance between traditional and modern dating:

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  1. Know Your Own Values: What do you want in a relationship? If you’re dating with the intention of marriage (and that’s important to you), you’ll want to make sure your partner is on the same page. Don’t be afraid to have that conversation early on. Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Keep your values rooted in faith, and trust that God will guide you.
  2. Communicate Your Intentions: Whether you’re going for a laid-back vibe or something more serious, always communicate your expectations upfront. If you’re looking for something long-term, make that clear, especially in the early stages. Likewise, if you’re into casual dating, it’s better to be upfront about that too. Misunderstandings are the worst!
  3. Blend Traditions with Technology: You don’t have to ditch dating apps just because you prefer a more traditional approach. Use them to meet people, but take your dates offline quickly. Enjoy a classic dinner date or a walk in the park. In the same way, blend modern communication (texting, social media) with traditional gestures (writing a thoughtful letter or planning a special evening). The best of both worlds!
  4. Set Boundaries, But Stay Open: This is especially important if you’re navigating modern dating apps while trying to remain grounded in your faith. Dating apps can open up all sorts of possibilities, but if you’re not careful, it can also lead to temptation or confusion. Set boundaries that align with your beliefs, and don’t be afraid to say “no” when something doesn’t feel right.
  5. Trust God’s Timing: Whether you’re meeting someone through an app or through a more traditional means, remember that God is in control. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Trust that your relationship journey is part of God’s plan for you, and He’ll guide you to the right person at the right time.

Final Thoughts: Finding Your Own Dating Style

Ultimately, there’s no “right” way to date—it’s all about what feels authentic to you. Whether you’re more into traditional courtship or the flexibility of modern dating, the key is to stay true to your values, communicate openly with your partner, and trust that God is leading you every step of the way.

And remember, whether you’re swiping through an app or asking for your parents’ blessing, it’s all part of God’s plan for your love story. So go ahead, embrace your style—and make it one that honors both your heart and your faith.

What’s your dating style? Do you lean more traditional, or are you a modern dater? Let me know in the comments—let’s chat about it!

How To Build A Relationship Rooted in Christ

How To Build A Relationship Rooted in Christ

Reading Time: 2 minutes

1. Define Dating Discipleship

Dating discipleship is about seeing your relationship as a way to grow closer to God and each other. It’s intentional, faith-centered dating that moves beyond simple activities to a deeper spiritual connection.

2. Recognize Why Shared Faith Matters

Sharing a faith foundation creates alignment in values and goals. With God as your base, you gain a toolkit for tackling challenges together, helping both of you stay grounded and connected.

3. Set Spiritual Goals Together

Set goals beyond everyday plans, like praying, studying the Bible, or serving together. Spiritual goals, even in small steps, deepen your bond and align you with God’s purpose.

4. Work on Growth Together

Challenges will come, but a shared faith gives you the resources to handle them. Communicate openly, respect each other’s journeys, and seek guidance from mentors for a grounded, faith-based approach.

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5. Enjoy Faith with Fun

Balance spiritual growth with fun! Try daily devotions, worship together, or celebrate small faith milestones to keep things light and enjoyable as you build spiritual unity.

6. Face Real Challenges Faithfully

When conflicts arise, address them with honest communication, pray together, and seek outside perspectives from a mentor or pastor. Faith offers peace and patience to work through hard times.

7. Build a Faith-Based Community

Surround yourself with supportive friends, small groups, or couples’ retreats. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that community can strengthen faith, providing encouragement and accountability.

8. Cultivate a Faith-Focused Culture in Your Relationship

Practice gratitude, talk about spiritual experiences, and create simple faith-based traditions, like weekly prayer or sharing reflections, to make faith a natural part of your relationship.

9. Envision the Long Term

If marriage is the goal, use dating discipleship to build a foundation. Discuss future visions for family, finances, and ongoing faith growth, setting up a lifetime of shared values.

10. Embrace Dating Discipleship as a Lifelong Journey


Dating discipleship isn’t about perfection. It’s a journey of faith, growth, and love. Stay true to your faith, enjoy the journey, and keep building a relationship that reflects God’s love.

Dating discipleship transforms your relationship into a spiritual journey, helping you grow closer to God while nurturing the love for each other.

Navigating Love in Your 30s and Beyond: A Heartfelt Journey

Navigating Love in Your 30s and Beyond: A Heartfelt Journey

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Understanding Today’s Dating World: It’s Not What It Used to Be 

Hey, dating today? It’s a whole new world! Between swiping right, sliding into DMs, falling in love, and awkward first dates over Zoom, it’s safe to say things have changed a lot. Especially if you’re in your 30s or beyond, dating can feel like uncharted territory, but guess what? You’re not alone in this.

With the availability of love or dating apps becoming the new “meet-cute,” technology has taken over how we connect. And while it’s great to have all these options, the endless scrolling can lead to what I call “decision fatigue” — you know, when you’re overwhelmed by too many choices and can’t pick anything? The same goes for dating.

Here’s the deal: Before diving into the online dating pool, it’s crucial to know what you’re looking for. Whether it’s something serious or casual, having clarity will help you swipe with purpose instead of getting stuck in endless chats that go nowhere. Knowing your relationship goals ahead of time can make the whole process way smoother.

Pro Tip: Swipe Smart, Not Fast

Instead of treating dating apps like a video game, slow down. Think about what really matters to you, and choose quality over quantity. You’ll thank yourself later.

Rediscovering Yourself: Why Self-Reflection Is Key 

Alright, here’s a little truth bomb: dating in your 30s and beyond often starts with some serious self-reflection. Before you can figure out who’s the right match for you, you’ve got to be clear about who you are. Yeah, I know, deep stuff.

Think about your past relationships. Were there any patterns? Were you constantly picking people who weren’t ready for commitment, or maybe you were the one who wasn’t quite sure? Reflecting on this helps you avoid repeating old mistakes. Plus, knowing your relationship goals enables you to stay intentional when dating.

Real Talk: Growth Mode

The person you are now isn’t the same person you were in your 20s — and that’s a good thing! With age comes self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Own it, and let it guide you to someone who vibes with your true self.

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Embracing Vulnerability: It’s Okay to Be Scared 

Dating after 30 can feel intimidating, especially when you throw in the fear of rejection. It’s like we’ve all got these emotional walls built up after years of life experiences, and putting yourself out there can feel like a major risk. But here’s the thing: you’ve got to be vulnerable if you want to find something real.

Instead of avoiding rejection, lean into it. Rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth, it’s just part of the process. And each “no” gets you one step closer to the “yes” that’s meant for you. Think of it as a refining process — you’re learning more about yourself and what you need in a love relationship.

Pro Tip: Bounce Back

Develop a resilient mindset. Every dating experience teaches you something, and that’s a win, even if the relationship doesn’t pan out.

So, What Do You Really Want? 

It’s time to get clear. By now, you’ve probably realized that relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all. Casual dating? Long-term commitment? Or maybe you’re more into a deep friendship with love undertones. Whatever it is, take a step back and ask yourself: What do I actually want from a relationship?

You don’t have to follow the script of “settling down” just because society says so. If you’re all about long-term stability, that’s cool. The key is communicating your desires upfront to avoid any confusion later.

Your Social Circle: Expand Your Horizons 

At this stage in life, meeting new people can feel tough. Most of your friends are settled down, and the days of meeting someone at a college party are long gone. But don’t worry, there’s still hope. Whether it’s through mutual friends, social events, or even a random meetup at your local coffee shop, expanding your social circle can open up new dating possibilities.

Ideas to Try:

– Join a class or group activity based on your interests (book clubs, sports leagues, volunteering).

– Attend social gatherings — birthdays, community events, or anything that gets you out of your comfort zone.

– Ask your friends to set you up. Sometimes, friends know exactly who would be a good match for you.

Mental Health Check: Take Care of You 

Before jumping into the dating pool, make sure you’re in a good place mentally and emotionally. Sometimes, dating can bring up old wounds or unresolved feelings. Whether it’s from past love relationships or personal experiences, being aware of your triggers and mental health is key.

Therapy or support groups can help you work through emotional baggage and equip you with tools to navigate dating with a healthy mindset. Prioritizing your mental well-being isn’t just about feeling good, it’s also about building a strong foundation for any future relationships.

Whether you’re swiping, reflecting, or meeting someone new at a volunteer event, remember: dating in your 30s and beyond can be awesome if you approach it with the right mindset. Trust yourself, be intentional, and don’t be afraid to have some fun along the way. You got this!

Top 10 Things a Woman Wants in a Man Part 1 

Top 10 Things a Woman Wants in a Man Part 1 

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Top 10 Things a Woman Wants in a Man Part 1 

Are you tired of feeling like you’re not quite ticking all the right boxes in your romantic relationships? Do you want to know the secrets to making a woman fall deeply in love with you? Look no further! In this article, we’ll dive into the top ten things a woman wants in a man, and how you can become the ultimate catch.

1. Confidence: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac

A woman wants a man who exudes confidence. Not arrogance, but a quiet self-assurance that says, “I’ve got this.” When you own your strengths and weaknesses, you become an unstoppable force. So, work on building your self-esteem, and watch how it transforms your relationships. Gone are the days of pretending to be someone you’re not. A woman wants a man who is confident in his own skin and isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Be true to yourself, and she’ll love you for who you are. The scriptures says in Eph 5:1a “Be imitators of God in everything you do…”

2. Emotional Intelligence: The Key to Deep Connections

Women crave emotional intelligence in a partner. It’s the ability to understand and validate her feelings, making her feel seen and heard. Develop your active listening skills, and emotional regulation to become the rock she can lean on. . A man who can communicate his feelings, empathize with his partner, and navigate the emotional landscape of a relationship is incredibly attractive. Ecc 10:2 in the Message Translations says “Wise thinking leads to right living; Stupid thinking leads to wrong living.”

3. Vision: A Man with a Purpose

Vision is attractive. It is one of the things a woman wants. A woman wants a man with goals, passions, and a sense of direction. It’s not about being a high-achiever, but about having a clear vision for your life. So, identify your values, set goals, and work towards them – it’s a huge turn-on! Women appreciate a man who is motivated and has a clear vision for his future. This doesn’t necessarily mean financial wealth or status, but rather a passion and determination to pursue his dreams. Col 3:23 says “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.”

4. Humour: Laughter is the Best Medicine

A good sense of humor can diffuse even the most tense situations. A woman wants a man who can make her laugh, who can find the humor in life’s absurdities. So, don’t take yourself too seriously, and learn to laugh at yourself. No woman wants joy killer! Every woman wants a joy dispenser! Moments of joy remain memorable and source of strength in stormy times. A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” so says Proverbs 17:22

A woman wants a partner who can lighten the mood, diffuse conflicts with humor, and bring a sense of playfulness to the relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to be a full-time comedian, but cultivating a good sense of humor and the ability to not take yourself too seriously can work wonders. Learn to laugh at your own mistakes and quirks, and encourage your partner to do the same. This shared levity will help you weather any storm that comes your way.

Remember, laughter truly is the language of the heart. By embracing your inner jokester and making your partner giggle, you’ll unlock a level of intimacy and connection that goes beyond mere words. So, don’t be afraid to be the “joy dispenser” in your relationship – it’s an irresistible quality that every woman craves.

5. Emotional Availability: Being Present in the Moment

Emotional availability is about being fully present in the moment, without distractions. It is one of the things a woman wants. A woman wants a man who can engage in deep conversations, who can listen actively, and who can be vulnerable. Put away your phone, make eye contact, and focus on the person in front of you. Be fully engaged in your interactions with her, and prioritize quality time together.

Being emotionally available means being willing to listen and understand your partner’s thoughts and feelings. As James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” By being a good listener, you can build trust and intimacy in your relationship.

As the apostle Paul wrote, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). By being open and honest about your own fears, doubts, and desires, you can create a safe space for your partner to do the same.

Remember, emotional availability is about being fully engaged in the present moment. By putting away distractions, making eye contact, and focusing on your partner, you can build a deeper and more meaningful connection. 

Tobe continued tomorrow.

Top 10 Qualities That Men Desire in a Woman

Top 10 Qualities That Men Desire in a Woman

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Top 10 Qualities That Men Desire in a Woman.

This is Part 1.

Hey there, ladies! Have you ever wondered what makes a man tick? What do they really want in a partner? Today, we’re going to dive into the top 10 qualities that men desire in a woman. And trust me, it’s not just about looks or physical attraction. There’s so much more to it!

1. Confidence.

Let’s face it, guys love a woman who exudes confidence. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about embracing your imperfections and owning them with poise. Confidence can be sexy!

How can a woman develop confidence? Firstly, a woman can build confidence by:

a. Focusing on what she’s good at and what she’s achieved.

b. Being kind to herself and taking care of her physical and emotional needs.

c. Surrounding herself with God, His Word, and with people who support and encourage her.

The Scripture declares in 1 Peter 3:3-4 that “What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes, but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.”

2. Intelligence.

Men are drawn to women who can hold their own in a conversation. This is one of the Qualities That Men Desire. They love a good debate, a witty remark, or a clever joke. So, don’t be afraid to show off your brainpower, ladies! A man wants a lady who he can talk to and engage in friendly banter and conversations.

Why do men leave a big and clearer television at home to go and watch a global match in a club in a less comfortable environment? It is because of those friendly conversations and banters! Ladies, develop yourself! Know one or two things about the club he loves. Learn to sustain conversations!

Men are attracted to women who are curious and interested in learning and who can hold intelligent conversations and share their own insights.

Proverbs 18:15 says “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.”

To develop your intelligence as a lady, here are a few things you can do:

a. Read widely and often, exploring different topics and interests.

b. Engage in conversations with people from different backgrounds and industries.

c. Take classes or workshops to learn new skills and expand your knowledge.

d. Ask questions and seek to understand different perspectives.

3. Empathy.

Empathy is one of the Qualities That Men Desire in a Woman. Guys appreciate a woman who can understand their struggles, validate their emotions, and offer support. Be that safe haven for your partner, and watch your relationship flourish!

Men crave emotional connection and intimacy, just like women do. Men often feel like they’re not being heard or understood, especially when it comes to their emotions. 

When a woman can understand and validate a man’s emotions, it breaks traditional gender roles and stereotypes, allowing for a more equal and balanced relationship. These are some reasons why men crave such a woman who can provide these.

This is why it is good to pray to God before making marital decisions. There are some ladies who lack these qualities and yet they are on their way to developing them. In other words, they didn’t have it yet, but they inherently have all it takes to be that kind of woman. 

You see people change with time. A man has to be discerning. Conversely, there can be a woman who seems to possess these qualities, and yet it would be fleeting and temporary. When pressures come, she melts like a pot of stew!

Pray and pray very well to be led by God in making your decisions! Only God knows who will love you now and would still love you in another thirty or forty years! 

To be continued tomorrow.