How Men Can Earn Authority in Relationships or Marriage
Yesterday, we started looking at how and why men are losing authority. We will continue in that light today.
How to Earn the Authority You’re Demanding.
1) Master Yourself First
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28)
Get your finances in order
Control your temper
Break free from addictions
Develop emotional intelligence
Take care of your physical health
Grow spiritually through consistent discipline
2) Serve Before You Lead
Find ways to serve your partner or family without being asked
Anticipate needs
Do the unglamorous tasks
Sacrifice your preferences
Put their well-being before your comfort
3) Become a Student
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7 KJV)
Read books on marriage, leadership, and emotional intelligence
Listen more than you speak
Seek counsel from older, wiser men
Learn from your mistakes instead of repeating them
4) Lead by Example
“In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” (Titus 2:7)
Don’t just tell your family what to do, show them. You want them to pray? They should see you praying. You want them to read Scripture? They should see you reading Scripture. You want respect? Show them what respectability looks like.
5) Own Your Failures
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)
Real men apologize when they’re wrong. They admit mistakes. They don’t blame others but take responsibility.
6) Seek God First
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
Your relationship with God must be your foundation. Everything else flows from there.
Biblical submission is a woman’s RESPONSE to godly leadership, not her obligation despite ungodly leadership. When you love your wife like Christ loves the church, when you’re serving, sacrificing, protecting, providing, and prioritizing her good, submission becomes natural. It’s not forced or demanded, it just flows from trust and respect.
It’s time to grow up, earn the authority you’re demanding. It’s time to lead like Jesus led through service, sacrifice, and love. The women are scaling up. The question is: Will you?
One of the tools the devil uses against the body of Christ is to capitalize on the believer’s ignorance but the question is; Are believers truly ignorant?
The word of God says in Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge…” Why should we be destroyed, because we lack knowledge when it can be sought for?
In every season of the believer’s life, the right knowledge is needed. It’s about time we understand the authority we have and use it to our advantage.
Jesus Christ said, “Behold, I give unto you power” That power given is meant for use and not to be kept.
Why should you wake up from a dream frightened, when there’s an authority you have in Christ as a believer?
Why is our attitude to positive dreams so calm, but when it’s a negative dream, you can wake up suddenly and pray for hours, just to terminate it, why can’t we pray those positive ones into reality also?
The first authority we have is our identity in Christ. The life of Christ has been given to us to become the sons of God, who have been transformed into the kingdom of His marvelous life. Jesus Christ said on the cross, “It is finished.”
The word of the enemy over our life is finished, the grip of sin over our life is finished, the power of sickness over our life has come to an end, whatsoever that is not of God in our life came to an end when He said, it is finished.
These are the things the devil doesn’t want you to know. The day you know the truth, there’s a freedom that comes with it, and then the application of this truth is peace, dominion, and breakthrough.
Another authority we have is in His word. Hebrews 4:12 says: “The word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword…” It’s deeper than we can ever imagine, the Bible says, the words I speak, are Spirit and Life. This word will only be life for us when we know the life-giver Himself.
The efficacy of the word is activated by God. The word is beyond mere words, you must read it till it becomes the life that awakens your spirit man.
These words established the world, and that’s the authority we are talking about, even the dry bones in the valley received life by the word.
Irrespective of the bad reports that look like the end, the word of God can give life back to it.
Believers, it’s time for us to arise and take our stand. Enough of giving the devil an upper hand over our lives, it’s time to take charge and authority.
Begin to speak those same words into your life now believing it’s done.
God created you to exercise dominion and authority on earth. It is not right for the one who is to exercise dominion to be dominated. You are to be the man and woman God created you to be.
All such things as insecurities, low self-esteem, rejection, condemnation, guilt, approval addiction, and fears, are all an attempt of the enemy to steal your authority from you. He attempts to make you laden with a poor image of yourself. That devil is a liar.
You have what it takes to have dominion. It was inbuilt into you at creation. Every source of insecurity is giving way right now. You cannot be battling with such feelings and expect to take charge of your life.
You take charge of your life by first knowing and believing what God says about you.
God says;
You are the head and not the tail.
You are acceptable in the beloved.
You are the apple of His eyes.
You can do all things through Christ that strengthens you.
Ye are gods and children of the Highest.
You have been made the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.
All these and many other promises you have to believe. You are secured in who God says you are. Your approval is not based on your past, who rejected you, your performance, or what you did or didn’t do.
God wants you to enjoy life and have life in abundance. Having life in abundance is being in dominion and exercising your God-given authority, where you are not intimidated by anything or anybody.
Your relationships are good. You are trusting and hoping in the Lord. You have faith in your heavenly Father that He loves you and so he is mindful of you.
Walk in dominion and God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God’s vision over my life will not be prolonged.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, this year, your vision for my life will speak!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY This vision–message is a witness pointing to what’s coming. It aches for the coming––it can hardly wait! And it doesn’t lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It’s on its way. It will come right on time. Habakkuk 2:3 MSG
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write down plans for the coming months
There are different types, kinds, shades and forms of trouble in life and of course in marriage. Some of these troubles we face in marriage are due to our carelessness most of the times, while others are just the devil wanting to stir up issues.
Whichever way, God has told us how to handle troubles in His word.
I must admit that there are some troubles or challenges that are so bigger than us. There is no way we can come out of them successfully without God intervening.
King David, even though he was God’s beloved Psalmist, faced different situations way bigger and stronger than him. The good news is that God brought him over them all.
When troubles comes, at whatever season in our marriage, if we are believers, we are assured victory.
Some challenges are spiritual and must be dealt with by engaging in spiritual warfare. Whether they are in-law issues, financial, child birth, barrenness, betrayal, infidelity issues, health issues or we just noticed some resistance on our way, or there are constant quarrels between us as couples that really has no basis, or any other attack on our marriage, it calls for spiritual warfare.
That is the time we should deal with and take charge of whatever strange oppressive spirit from the devil that wants to destroy our marriages.
We must know how to intercede for our marriages more than anything else. We fight on our knees.
The bible says
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; – 2 Corinthians 10:3 – 5 KJV
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. – James 4:7 KJV
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. – Luke 10:19 KJV
Our major work is to bind the wrong spirit behind such issues and loose the power of God. We come against the different spirits causing troubles for us and not allowing us to enjoy peace, love and joy in our marriage.
Some problems are not with the third party, but with our spouses. You have to learn to take charge and exercise authority over such anti peace, anti unity spirit. All they are after is to cause division, disunity, distress and fight in the marriage.
Also praying for the eyes of the understanding of the other party to open is important.
That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, – Ephesians 1:17 – 18 KJV
By the time you have engaged in spiritual warfare, God promised victory. The victory may not come the way we we want, but victory is sure and peace will be restored into our marriage.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for wisdom to handle marital troubles
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. – Luke 10:19 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take authority over the devil.
Still talking on the issue of obedience, this morning, I want to quickly show us a few practical ways to obey God as children.
Remember, we are considering the life and times of Father Abraham
Genesis 12 verse 1,4 (NKJV): Now the Lord had said to Abram: “Get out of your country, From your family And from your father’s house, To a land that I will show you. So Abram departed as the Lord had spoken to him, and Lot went with him. And Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran.
1. By being obedient to His Word.
The word is God. The only way you can be obedient to God is by obeying his word. If you disobey God’s word, it is as good as saying you have disobeyed God himself.
So dear children, my question to you this morning is; are you obedient to his word?
2. By being obedient to spiritual authority.
Oh yes. There are several authorities that have been placed over us as children. When you obey such authorities, you are obeying God.
Examples of constituted authorities include your school, your church, your family, and so on.
Note that no authority can spring up without the input of God Almighty. So when you obey them, you are obeying God.
There are many more ways we can obey God, but I hope you have been able to draw out lessons and action plans from the above as regards your obedience to God.
