Overcoming Wicked Spirits Operating Through Spouses
First of all, your spouse is not the wicked spirit or the devil or anything like that!
The reality, however, is that you and your spouse can yield to these wicked spirits unknowingly.
This can even happen between two singles who are engaged.
And this is what we are looking at this morning.
A classic example can be found with Job and his wife. Read Job 2:2-10
Let’s pick out one or two verses there.
Job 2:5 (ERV) I swear, if you attack his flesh and bones, he will curse you to your face!”
This is the devil screaming that Job will curse God if his health is touched.
Eventually, God permitted the devil to do all he wanted to do and Job lost everything, all properties but he refused to back out on God.
However, his wife yielded to the wicked spirit and verbalized what the devil suggested to her ears to Job, which of course is designed to crush him further.
Job 2:9 (ERV) His wife said to him, “Are you still holding on to your faith? Why don’t you just curse God and die!”
Was it a coincidence for Job’s wife to say exactly what Satan said earlier? I doubt.
As couples, we must be careful to not yield to the wrong voices from wicked spirits.
For Singles, today is Valentine’s, and a lot of wicked suggestions will come from supposed lovers! Be cautious. You aren’t married, but somebody is telling you, “If you love me, prove it with sex!” We will eventually get married, let’s do it, what difference does it make?
The question is are those voices and suggestions coming from the Holy Spirit?
They are coming from wicked spirits who want to ruin your testimony and pitch you against your maker!
Be sensitive! Pray for one another. Pray for yourself and your spouse that you will not yield to the wrong voices!
Overcoming Wicked Spirits That Manipulate and Deceive
Valentine’s is tomorrow! This wicked spirit will be in operation! Beware
What do I mean?
Yesterday, I established that the spirit realm is filled with good and bad spirits.
We are not supposed to yield to these bad spirits that are wicked. We are supposed to yield to the Spirit of God!
There are wicked spirits that operate through manipulation and deception.
How can one identify these spirits? How can one protect themselves from such influences?
Do you remember the story of Samson and Delilah?
Jdg 16:4 (KJV) And it came to pass afterward, that he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah.
Loving this particular woman was the beginning of Samson’s nemesis.
The lords of the Philistines have tried several means to snuff out the life of Samson but to no avail. They were frustrated each time. They resorted to using Delilah.
Delilah obliged having been promised some large chunk of money!
Three times, Samson deceived Delilah and in those three times, he saw clearly that Delilah was after his life!
But he still became a victim?
How?
There was the operation of wicked spirits employing manipulation and deception.
Jdg 16:15 (AMPC+) And she said to him, How can you say, I love you, when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times and have not told me in what your great strength lies.
How many times have you heard this statement?
And you say you love me? That was what Delilah used and Samson fell for it. This same statement will fly around a lot on Valentine’s Day! Please don’t fall for it! Don’t lose your virginity if you still have one! And even if you are not one, don’t sleep around on that day!
The goal of this manipulative and deceiving spirit is constant harassment till you yield.
Jdg 16:16 (AMPC+) And when she pressed him day after day with her words and urged him, he was vexed to death.
Samson fell asleep on her lap!
A lot of destinies have fallen asleep, and hibernated under the influence of these wicked spirits!
You will not be caught sleeping when you should be awake in Jesus’ name!
Jdg 16:21 (MSG) The Philistines grabbed him, gouged out his eyes, and took him down to Gaza. They shackled him in irons and put him to the work of grinding in the prison.
They eventually caught him and the first thing was to take out his eyes! That is the goal of this wicked spirit, to make you stop reading and studying God’s word!
Your eyes will not be taken out!
We judge every wicked spirit operating through manipulation and deception in Jesus’ name!
Valentine is coming! Beware of wicked spirits that appear harmless!
The realm of the spirit is as real and even more real than the world we live in. Spiritual activities are taking place all the time. There are good spirits and there are bad spirits. The good spirits are referred to as angels, while the bad spirits are referred to as demons.
The bad spirits always want to do harm and cause havoc upon humans, God’s creatures, while the good spirits would stop them.
These bad spirits are not nice at all. They are wicked and the scriptures referred to them as wicked!
Eph 6:12 (KJV) For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
The word wicked was also used further down:
Eph 6:16 (KJV) Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
So we understand that these spirits are wicked. They don’t like your face neither do they like your soul. If they had their way, they would kill you right this moment! Thank God for His protection and for the blood of Jesus that was shed not just for our sins but also for our protection.
Now, there are wicked spirits that appear harmless. We see an example of such here:
Act 16:16-18 (KJV) And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying: [17] The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation. [18] And this did she many days. But Paul, being grieved, turned and said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And he came out the same hour.
Notice this is a wicked spirit of divination. But the spirit was helping to “advertise” the work of the apostles! It appeared harmless and was able to deceive the apostles for many days!
What do you do with such spirits? Cast them out. Judge them in the name of Jesus! You have authority over them!
As Valentine’s Day approaches, beware of wicked spirits operating through those around you, and appear harmless. Be sensitive and don’t lose your testimony over what is fleeting and passing! May God protect you!
Do you have a problem you are bothered about? Do you have an issue that has constantly unsettled you? Are you troubled?
Here is what Jesus Christ said about troubles.
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. (John 16:33 KJV)
How I love this scripture! There will be tribulation, but be of good cheer because I have already overcome on your behalf. Then He said you can have peace during any trouble when you learn to heed what He has spoken unto you!
Here are three things concerning anything you are going through.
1. Your problem cannot last forever That is the number one problem of any problem. They don’t have a forever status. Listen to me, the problem you see today, the issues you see as grave today, that make you cry and weep, will not be there tomorrow. Egyptians were a generational problem to the Israelites, but one day, God said to the Israelites, the Egyptians you see today, you shall see no more! I feel you should start taking a last look at your problems because very soon, you shall see them no more! That is the word of the Lord unto you!
Problems are fickle, they are temporary, and they cannot last forever! The fruitful man has not always been fruitful, he was once barren, but today, he hardly remembers, because when God visits you, He will cause you to forget the shame of your youth!
This year, God will visit you! This year, God will turn His countenance upon you and cause it to shine endlessly upon you!
Covenants can often last a long time, but you see you were not covenanted into troubles and problems, you were covenanted into peace, and shalom, nothing missing, nothing broken, and that will be your experience in Jesus’ name! I speak peace into every storm now in Jesus’ name!
2. Your problem has an expiry date! One of my favorite scriptural phrases is “And it came to pass!” It is a remembrance and a pointer to the Almightiness of God, that what you are going through will soon become a thing of the past!
You cannot be single for life unless you so choose. But if you didn’t choose to be a nun, that singleness status will soon pass. Believe it, embrace it because that is the truth. The devil cannot overrule God’s timetable for your life. In God, your wedding will never be late; it can only be the latest in town!
3. Your problem has a name! The last problem that your problem has is that it has a name! Your problem made the mistake of having a name! If it is a sickness, it has a name. If it is a status, it has a name. If it is an emotional issue, it has a name! No form of affliction or oppression doesn’t have a nomenclature! And that is a mistake! Because the scripture says: Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth (Philippians 2:9-10 KJV)
There is a name ABOVE every other name! The source of the problem can choose to be from anywhere, in the sky where the prince of this world lives, in the earth where fellow men live, or beneath the earth where demonic powers often operate, all those are non-issues because, at the name of Jesus, every knee shall bow! Every trouble bows!
I challenge you today, to ignore that which you call a problem, and rejoice in the Lord your God who will soon fill your mouth with laughter!
You will soon share your testimony! It is our year of Boundless Opportunities on KHC, you will not miss them in Jesus’ name! I am so persuaded, I am so sure, that you will soon rejoice because this is a word of the Lord unto you this day!
What to do when you find yourself weak, down and out
Never Compromise! Delays can often make a person vulnerable. The pressures from people, friends, family, and the environment can create unbelievable pressures that quickly increase vulnerabilities to temptations. Now, I speak to you this morning, as by the Spirit of God, don’t compromise!
You see, never allow pressures to push into the “whoever-comes-corner! That is not your portion! You cannot end up with a wife-beater because of pressure! You cannot end up hooking up with a son of Belial because of pressures. You cannot dine with an adulterer because of pressure.
Listen to me, you have waited a while, your waiting will not be in vain! Your waiting will not culminate in shame! Your waiting will not be a ‘waste!”
God has you in mind and He will not fail you.
He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. (Isaiah 40:29 KJV)
When you are down and out, rather than turn to compromise, turn to God. He will lift you in that weak moment. It is not a sin to become weak, it only becomes a problem when you try to feed your weaknesses by compromise rather than turn to God. God is waiting to give power to the faint and increase in strength when you turn to him.
So, my dear, when you are so down and discouraged, when you are so weak and feel like crying all day, go back to God in that moment! He will speak to you and assure you of what He will do in your life.
When you feel like going back to the world, go to the throne of grace lest you become like the proverbial dog that went back to its vomit!
That will never be your portion. Continuing from the verse above
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: (Isaiah 40:30 KJV)
Many people will fall around you. Many will go back and compromise and for a while, it would seem to be working for them. It would be like they are smart while you are so foolish! You cannot follow people; you are to follow God. Why? You’ll see it in the next verse.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31 KJV)
Let your waiting be a ‘waiting upon the Lord.” It will change your level, it will bring speed into your life, and you will be able to do a lot without getting tired.
It will all end in a testimony when you refuse to compromise in those vulnerable moments!
For those who are married and experiencing delay, in finances or particularly in childbirth, fill yourself with God’s word and never doubt God that He will do it this year! There is nothing wrong in going for a medical test and it doesn’t disturb your faith. It helps you to focus on the issues and be able to channel your spiritual energy to deal specifically with the situation.
All in all, be in agreement with your spouse. Avoid any form of hate that may lead to bitterness, for such can dissipate the anointing quickly. Don’t allow concerned family members to push into compromise of any sort, focus on God and you will surely see His salvation!
I pray for you this morning, that God will open your womb in Jesus’ name! Whatever could be the hindrance, low sperm count, blocked tubes, abnormal hormonal level, or whatever it is, by the anointing of God upon this ministry, we put a stop to it in Jesus’ name. Take a moment to pray in the Spirit for all waiting in God in this regard that God should visit them this year unfailingly in Jesus’ name!
3. Physical Attraction: A Balance of Spirituality and Reality
While spirituality holds significant weight, physical attraction should not be overlooked. Marrying someone you find attractive contributes to long-term happiness. Avoid the pitfall of spending decades with a partner solely for financial stability. Don’t marry somebody you are not attracted to physically, only because you are attracted to his or her money! Choose someone who brings joy and contentment to your life.
Balancing Spirituality and Attraction
Acknowledging the importance of physical attraction doesn’t diminish the spiritual aspects of a union. Strive for a balance that ensures both spiritual fulfillment and a genuine appreciation for your partner’s appearance.
Don’t come around and say God forced you to marry somebody you are not attracted to! God is an intelligent God and would not lead you into such afflictions!
4. Mutual Love and Romance: Nurturing the Connection
Love and romance form the bedrock of a successful marriage. Proverbs 5:19 emphasizes the significance of cherishing one another. Never take love for granted, and make a conscious effort to fill your heart with thoughts of your spouse.
Nurturing Love and Romance
Delight in your partner’s presence, appreciate their qualities and nurture a connection filled with love and romantic gestures. Cultivate an environment where both partners continuously express affection.
Don’t be too spiritual to the point of being insensitive to your spouse!
5. Purpose and Destiny Alignment: Ensuring a Fulfilling Union
Above all, aligning with your partner’s purpose and destiny is paramount. Marriage should enhance, not overshadow, your love for God. Discussing life’s purpose, dreams, and alignment of minds becomes crucial.
Singles, discover “purpose” before the “propose!”
Fulfillment Beyond Marriage
Guard against losing fulfillment in God’s purpose due to the demands of marriage. If already married and feeling adrift, turn to prayer for guidance. Just as Joseph dreamt another dream, God can provide a new vision and heart fulfillment.
What are those things singles should look for? What are those things couples should pray for in their spouses? Let’s take a look this morning
1. The Fear of God: The Non-Negotiable Foundation
The foremost quality to seek in a life partner, non-negotiable and beyond compromise, is the fear of God. Beyond mere physical attributes, the fear of God stands tall. While beauty and attractiveness may fade, a partner with the fear of God brings enduring blessings. For those already married without observing these qualities, prayer can be a powerful tool to usher these virtues into your spouse’s life.
Embracing the Fear of God
The fear of God is the reason your spouse will not cheat on you! It is not because your spouse is a “Christian” it is because they have the fear of God. Look for the fear of God! Pray the fear of God into your spouse!
Personal faithfulness and steadfastness in relationships emanate from the fear of God. This foundational quality, exemplified by figures like Joseph, can prevent succumbing to temptations. Choosing a partner with a genuine, lasting fear of God ensures a steadfast and faithful union.
2. Integrity and Sincerity: Guiding Principles in Marriage
Second on the list is the indispensable duo of integrity and sincerity. Proverbs 11:3 states that the integrity of the upright guides them.
Embrace the belief that sincere and upright individuals exist; renew your mindset through God’s word. Dismissing all humanity based on one negative experience can hinder attracting the positive qualities you seek.
Guided by Integrity
Integrity is a guiding light in relationships, preventing the destructive consequences of deceit and transgressions. Seek a partner whose integrity aligns with the principles that guide a successful marriage.
Nothing is as frustrating as having a lying spouse. Trust is broken, suspicions are birthed, and trepidation is initiated to the extent that it affects the health of the spouse on the receiving end of these lying tantrums.
Be insincere! Be a person of integrity for the sake of yourself, your family, your children, and your God!
Good morning! I will conclude on this topic tomorrow!
Sube is a church girl. She goes to church regularly, belongs to the choir, and serves God passionately, but she is also caught up with some habitual sins, which she has not been able to confront for a long time.
Bro. Zeru is the fellowship head of his campus fellowship but has sexual relationships with some of the flock he is supposed to keep. He knows his lifestyle doesn’t please God, but he would find himself from time to time doing what he preaches against.
Mr & Mrs Balley want to serve God and they are doing all they can. It is just that they are both compromisers, they are seeing someone else. They know it is wrong, but they continue, thinking that somehow, things will just work out.
What is common with these people?
They are all involved with what is not going to work. They all hope God’s mercy will work for them, and it will work for a while.
Let’s take a look at the scriptures and see some principles.
Thirst Quenched by the Waters of God’s Word
In Isaiah 55:1 (KJV), God extends an invitation to everyone: “Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.”
This invitation beckons individuals to seek sustenance that goes beyond material wealth. The “waters” symbolize God’s word, emphasizing the importance of acquiring spiritual insight through a dedicated heart and time investment.
Your legitimate thirst for a fulfilling life, successful marriage, and overall prosperity can only be quenched through genuine devotion and regular immersion in God’s word. Contrary invitations, often enticing but leading to compromise and spiritual apathy, must be declined.
Discerning the Right Invitation
Every life-altering decision stems from an invitation. Whether it’s the pressure to engage in premarital relations or succumbing to compromise, the consequences lie not in the allure of the invitation but in the character of the inviter.
Proverbs 7 vividly portrays the consequences of honoring the wrong invitation, cautioning against being led astray by enticing offers. The invitation may seem appealing, but the aftermath can be agonizing, akin to a calf led to the butcher or a bird ensnared in a net.
Choosing Wisely: Refusing Wrong Invitations
Today, a challenge is to steadfastly refuse every wrong invitation. Your choices dictate your destiny, and embracing God’s invitation leads to the fulfillment of your deepest desires.
Start your day with God’s word, steering clear of sin, and commit to living for God by rejecting compromise. Success is not a result of chance; it is an outcome of intentional actions and choices.
The Ultimate Invitation
As we conclude, consider the unparalleled invitation extended by Jesus in Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV): “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” This divine invitation promises rest for the weary and a yoke that is easy to bear.
In the Message translation, the depth of this invitation becomes even more apparent: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.” Jesus invites you to walk with Him, learn from Him, and experience the unforced rhythms of grace.
Embracing the Divine Love
In a world filled with conflicting invitations, choosing to accept the invitation from the lover of your soul—Jesus Christ—leads to the embrace of the love of your life. Refuse all other invitations that may lead you astray and embark on a journey guided by the timeless principles found in God’s word.
Let’s take a quick look at how to avoid sexual compromise. Sexual compromises are violations of God’s injunction and will always end up in a loss of favor from God. Since you don’t want this, the next best thing to do is to actively seek to pit the flesh under.
I will talk about Two ways:
(1) Marriage
1Co 7:2 KJV Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Let’s also check this in the Message Translation
1Co 7:2 MSG Certainly–but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder.
The Bible recognizes that sexual drives are strong. Don’t be holier than God. Simply get married! What if you are already married? Stay married and focus on your spouse!
What is the second way to handle sexual compromise?
(2) Run away.
1Co 6:18 KJV Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
Flee: Greek – “pheugo” – to run away, by implication to shun, and by analogy to vanish. Also means to escape.
Don’t bother to speak phonetics, run
When the Bible says “flee,” don’t say “let’s reason together”
The purpose of your body is that you might serve the Lord, not for sexual antics.
1Co 6:13 KJV Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
A lot of singles and married couples are often caught up in the hustles and bustles of life and become distracted. Here is a reminder list of what you should do regularly to each other and how to go about it.
1. Pray for him.Pray for her.
Let it be genuine. This helps you to harness the help of God to come to bear for you. Genuine prayers for each other will go a long way to keep you together. Minimize the quarrels and maximize the times for prayers.
2. Call each other daily.
Whether you will see each other later in the day is not the issue, the issue is that communication is the live wire of any relationship or marriage that will survive. Keep in touch. Send SMS. Use chats.
3. Exchange gifts regularly.
It doesn’t have to be expensive! But let it be touching. Notice what I wrote, exchange gifts; not collect gifts! Those little gestures help to keep the fire of your relationship and marriage aflame.
4. Share with him or her what God is dealing with you in His word.
Whatever God tells you in your devotion or in your personal walk with God, will also bless him or her as long as it blesses you. You don’t have to make it look like you are in another service when you want to do that, but you make it as natural as possible.
5. Encourage one another.
You are his number-one fan. You are her number-one fan. Don’t discourage each other. Don’t dissipate your energy on criticism. Be aware that your input goes a long way because you are the closest person.
6. Forgive each other so that your heavenly father will forgive you also.
You are not perfect, are you? So don’t become a judge, rather lovingly overlook and forget any mistakes that are meant to show up.
7. Let corrections be done in love.
Do you know it takes up to nine affirming statements to be able to accommodate and see one criticism as it should be seen? But you know what people do is give nine brutally critical statements and one or none of affirming statements. It will not yield any positive result like that.
8. Seek to help each other in obeying God’s instructions.
You are the greatest influence. Don’t encourage him or her to sin. Stand on the path of truth and help him or her to resist temptations.
9. Don’t feed each other’s weaknesses.
Rather, you should balance him or her out, because you will always have the strength and in areas where he or she is weak. Be available to help him stand. Be there to help her say No to iniquity. Don’t be seen as a partner in crime, or partner in iniquity. Let him or her be able to say, I trust my fiance/fiancee/spouse; he will never compromise. Trust one another and protect your trust.
10. Make sure you have a mentor you talk to from time to time.
Sometimes, the very intense issues and disagreements are dissolved with a few statements. Well, that is the grace of God upon our lives and upon this ministry; to provide positive intervention in crisis-laden marriages and to provide godly counsels for those in courtship.
Accountability to those who have done what you are trying to do is a lot of wisdom. Stay close to these devotionals that have been succor to a lot of marriages and relationships across the world, discuss them from time to time, and keep on making adjustments! So help us, God!
So we went around the rooms welcoming the new students on that wonderful evening. This would play out to be the very first time I set my eyes upon her.
Wondering who sent us that day, but went anyway.
So we got to her room and it happened that we spent the longest time with her, and interestingly, I had the shortest conversation with her because my two other friends had a common ground with her immediately while I had none!
Don Moen just released a hit song at the time and it happened that she was playing that song when we entered her room.
My two friends knew the song, while I did not have a clue, having been raised as a purebred Anglican Church guy.
So they sang along and discussed the song while I just looked on.
While there, God told me point-blank she would be my wife. While she was stunningly beautiful, I was not in love. I admired her, but there was no desire then.
I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in a “knowing at first sight’ This was exactly what happened to me.
You know, the Holy Spirit informed me of what was to happen but did not ask me to go and ask her out immediately.
And this is where we often make mistakes. We often jump out and the lady is not ready and you get a resounding No! When God speaks to you and you have a burden, find out whether it is a burden for PREPARATION or PERFORMANCE.
Do not follow your feelings, follow His voice! That is where peace is and that is where fulfilment lies!
By divine orchestrations, we found ourselves together at Ogun State University, Now known as Olabisi Onabanjo University. I came in 1991/92 session and she came in 1993/94 session.
I was two years ahead of her, in 300 level while she came in as a new student.
Most of my friends had girlfriends, I had none. They would often bring girls to the hall and the girls would spend days and sometimes weeks!
I was always amazed, like, what did they tell these “fine girls” that made them abandon their own schools and classes and relocate to another school to play the role of “small Mummy?”
And yes, you should never do this as a young lady!
Listen to me, every time you do that, it will always culminate in some regret!
You are never able to “hold” a man or secure him, by subjecting yourself to such “affliction!” That is the only thing I can call it!
I call it an affliction because on one of the occasions, one of the guys who had “camped” a girl for two weeks straight took a belt and beat up his girlfriend! I was the one who went to collect the belt from him! Wasn’t that an affliction?
It was one of the reason I did all my best to get a “one-man-room” because guys who brought in girls easily “de-roomed” their roommates. This means the roommate had to look elsewhere to sleep!
The parents of these girls would never imagine where their daughters were and the parents of the guys too would never imagine their wonderful sons were already on that lane! The more reason as parents, you consciously start inculcating the right values in your children!
Back to how I met her! On her very first night, my self and two other friends went round to welcome the new students that we referred to as “Jambites!
So what happened?
I will continue from tomorrow! Leave in comment section if you want me to continue tomorrow!
Happy new month! This month will be glorious for us all. We started writing on this topic three days ago. Did you miss them? Not to worry! see them below.
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under the delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out. Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious. They are unapproachable and unreachable. But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth wasting time on what would not work.
7. Two unforgiving people
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home, and life. Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker. If one of the couples is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier to resolve the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
The root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including children defiled.
The way out
So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate. Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective. I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus’ name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus’ name!
3. Two people where one is born again and the other is not
Here is another scenario that doesn’t always play out well, except with patience, prayers, and perseverance. I always advise singles not to think of getting married to someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God. It would always be filled with challenges that you might have to fight alone because you do not agree with your choice of weapons. You want to pray, but he or she thinks you are just being fanatical.
That can be very disconcerting. It is always a good combo when both agree and are going in the same direction in terms of belief systems and practices.
4. Two sentimental people
When two sentimental people get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home. Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from a sentimental point of view rather than principles. They can ruin themselves in no time because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments. They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
5. Two angry people
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody who has anger problems and who refuses to work at it. An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds. Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
As singles and married couples, you are to deliberately work things out in your relationship or marriage and with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Here is what the scripture says:
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12 KJV)
In a relationship and or marriage, you are to work things out. A relationship or courtship does not lead to marriage automatically, you are to work things out in your disposition, attitude, and reactions. A marriage does not just succeed; you are to work things out between yourselves.
Now some combinations will surely crack along the way. When you find yourself in these spots, you need to seek help prayerfully and with a lot of wisdom to address the lurking issues.
Here are those combinations:
1. Two people who are unbelievers
Two people who are unbelievers may love themselves and may be committed to each other, but when the storms of life come, they will fight their battles alone and you know, some of those battles can be very fierce. They will not have God’s support since they don’t have a relationship with God. They will not have the benefit of a relationship with God and it can be very intense! They need to connect with God!
2. Two people who are believers but refuse to grow
The second group of couples may be believers but whose minds are not renewed. The only thing is that they already have a relationship with God, but apart from that, they are still carnal. They still do their stuff like unbelievers would do. They still want to have fun in forbidden areas and they still want to explore the perverse, which would often come with dire consequences. My advice for couples in this group is that they seek help as soon as possible.
Thoughts or mindsets are very powerful. The mind rules the man. Where the mind goes, the man follows. Victory in life is so much as the victory in your mind.
If you can master your mind, then you can positively channel it for a victorious living. Your level of victory in life is directly proportionate to the level of victory you have in your mind or soul.
Now your mind is the seat of your will, thoughts, emotions and your intellect.
3Jn 1:2 (KJV) Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.
The soundness or health of our minds or souls is so important that we should constantly be checking on the state of our minds.
You need to constantly check your thoughts. Are your thoughts leading you to victory in your relationship, marriage, and life?
You must see these negative thoughts as they truly are. They can destroy your relationship and marriage if you don’t destroy them.
The Bible teaches us how to handle our thoughts, especially the negative ones that can destroy our lives and marriages.
2Co 10:4-5 (KJV) (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) [5] Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Every negative, ungodly, selfish thought must be cast down. They must not be allowed to govern your marriage, home, and life.
You have to take up that responsibility because nobody will do it on your behalf.
How do you handle negative thoughts? You use godly thoughts to cast down those negative thoughts or mindsets.
Here are ten wrong mindsets or thoughts that can ruin your marriage.
1. My spouse hates me and only shows he loves me when he or she wants something from me.
2. There is no ‘God’s perfect will’ in marriage. Just marry anybody, bear his name, and don’t expect too much.
3. There are no blissful marriages. It exists only as a figment of one’s imagination.
4. Husbands don’t have the ability to love their wives.
5. As a wife, I refuse to allow my husband full authority over my life. He will still end up hurting and cheating me.
6. Faithfulness in marriage is not real. Just pretend everything is okay and pray you don’t get caught or catch your spouse in adultery
7. You don’t have to be one hundred percent sincere, open, or transparent, it’s not worth it.
8. Without money in marriage, there is no love.
9. The Bible, God’s principles, or learning about marriage is not necessary or very relevant to having a blissful marriage.
10. Once my children are okay, that is okay. Expecting my husband to love me unconditionally is asking for too much.
If you have any of these mindsets, it is time to throw them away and discard them.
