This is the scripture I used in our OIL FOR TODAY prayer time, and when I asked my husband what to write on today, he just pointed out this scripture. I want you to pause and say this to yourself “God is restoring my dignity in marriage”
So I will be bringing out some salient points from this scripture.
I Sam2:8 MSG He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, Restoring dignity and respect to their lives— a place in the sun! For the structures of earth are God ’s; he has laid out his operations on a firm foundation.
I will like to address the wives, using this portion of scripture. You can stand on it, meditate on it and pray it into your life. It is a promise you can claim.
God is able to restore dignity and respect to you as a wife.
In so many marriages, wives don’t have any dignity or respect. Their husbands treat them like they are of little value, (of cause to the detriment of the husband that does so).
The bible says male and female He created them and He blessed them.
God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, And, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.” God created human beings; he created them godlike, Reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.” Genesis 1:26 – 28 MSG
If you are born again, you are in the image and likeness of God. You reflect God. You are a piece of the Master, a masterpiece. Any husband that treats you less than that is abusing you as a wife
Every husband must seek to push their wives to be all that God created them to be. Your wife should become better, bigger, smarter, now that she is joined to you.
We see husbands pitting their wives down, talking down on them. God is restoring dignity and respect into your life and calling as a wife.
You are meant to be a helpmeet to your husband. No husband is better than his wife in the sight of God. But positionally, the husband is the head of the union. The wife stoops for him to take the lead because that is the order of God. That is what God recognizes and honors.
The husband and wife are co-laborers and joint-heirs with God. When God calls the man, he calls the woman too to assist him.
Some wives respect and dignity have been eroded. Their words are not respected. Their wisdom is not respected. They cannot advise. I feel one way to show respect to wives is to listen and trust God to always put His wisdom into their hearts.
When husbands maintain this attitude, it will even make the wives more sensitive in the Spirit because they will know that demand is been laid upon them by their husband to be spiritually sensitive.
I first heard this from Kenneth Hagin. As spiritual as he was, with several visions of Jesus Christ, he will always check with his wife before he takes any major step. I mean that is humility. Some husbands prefer to spend hours talking to some friends as against talking to their wives.
Whatever has taken away your dignity and respect in your marriage and home, God is restoring it in the mighty name of Jesus.
Restoring wealth is one major way God restore dignity and respect. Even the bible says the wisdom of the poor man was despised because of his poverty.
God will give wives voice and wealth. Mama Adejumo said not every wife can be slapped and sent packing, a husband is gentle when the wife brings in a 6 digit income every month.
I see God restoring every wives’ dignity and respect in Jesus mighty name.
Every wife should develop themself so much that before anything happens in the home, they know. Their words carry weight and God the Holy Spirit uses them.
As a wife, you cannot be respected if you still engage in lying, stealing, you have no integrity, et cetera. You have to exercise the fruit of the spirit as recorded in Gal 5:22
Let God fight and defend you. Hold your peace.
God bless our marriage in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is restoring honor and dignity to my marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, restore unto me all that I have lost.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Sam 2:8 (CEV)You lift the poor and homeless out of the garbage dump and give them places of honor in royal palaces. You set the world on foundations, and they belong to you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘restoration’
We startedlooking at this all-important topic yesterday. “How to relate with in-laws without strife” We looked at 2 scenarios and we will look at more scenarios today.
It is impossible to deal with all possible scenarios but this is just to help you draw wisdom from them and know that you are not alone.
There are no custom-made problems. You just have to draw the needed wisdom and handle your own situation.
Scenario 3 Ronke’s mother-in-law is a good woman and she has heard a lot of good reports from her husband about how she single-handedly raised her son and sent him to the University against all odds. So, naturally, Ronke was happy when Tunji announced that mama was coming to spend the rest of her life with them in the city. Unknown to Ronke was that mama was very petty.
They were all excited to welcome mama to her new home and she loved it in the city. Mama would always express her view and air her opinion which Ronke didn’t mind until it was getting too much.
Ronke likes flowers and would always buy flowers for decorating the sitting room. Mama would ask how much she bought them and would complain that they were too expensive since it was not food. Mama would complain whenever Ronke went to the stores and came home with nylons of household needs. She would ask how much each item cost and Ronke would tell her only for mama to scream of wastage.
Tunji would always wake up early to prepare breakfast because the nature of her job is quite strenuous and need extra sleep to be refreshed of the next day’s job. This mama frowned at seriously and even took offense at.
In other for her son not to do this, mama will wake up early to prepare breakfast. During breakfast, mama would look at her with displeasure and this continued until Ronke decided to be eating out. Tunji noticed this and called his wife to order.
Mama too noticed and all the time something went wrong between mama and Ronke, mama would go inside her room and sob. This was getting on Ronke’s nerves and Tunji was in a dilemma.
What should be done?
To ask a parent-in-law to stay with you has a lot of disadvantages especially a long-term stay. Before they come, the husband and wife should be in agreement. The husband must promise to protect the wife. After much discussion, if there is no other option, she might come to stay, but not after all options have been exhausted. They might look at the option of sending money to her regularly, get her a house help etc
If she would eventually stay, the husband must always be ready to defend his wife at the slightest opportunity. She must not come in between them. She must be made to mind her business and know that this is her son’s matrimonial house.
The husband and wife must be very prayerful and patient to accept her and her excesses.
Scenario 4 Bode’s father-in-law is in a cult. At first, they didn’t know but just felt he was unnecessarily hard on Bode. He showed little or no compassion for them when they first got married and had financial crisis. He had the money but was not just disposed to helping them.
Bode first noticed that each time they took the children for a visit to see grandpa outside town, they will be down with fever. Each time he also comes visiting the same thing happens.
It was difficult for them to stop visiting. Kemi was not happy especially because it would mean not seeing her mother who was more than an angel to them. They also noticed that the father-in-law would always give the children money.
After such gift of money, they would notice a financial hardship at that period. This would last for a while and go after they have prayed. This went on for a while and this usually caused conflict between them.
What should be done?
They should reduce their visits and if confronted for not visiting, they should say they are very busy. They should minimize their visits to only important occasions and should not sleepover. The children should be protected and once given money, it should be given away.
The wife should find other means of communicating with her mum especially since she had been good to them.
The husband should be very prayerful, avoid quarrels with his wife and understand her sentiments. He should try and get his wife to his side on every decision.
They should both pray for divine intervention.
You will always find different situations in different homes. No two situations are exactly the same but may have similar situations. Follow through with wisdom, be patient, mature, and godly.
Remember, you too will be a parent-in-law someday. Every action is a seed.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I am wise as regards all in-law issues.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, teach me your ways as regards my in-law issues
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his own wife.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to handle every in-law issues in your marriage with God’s wisdom
There are a lot of questionsabout in-laws that some of us might need answers to. An In-law issue is a very complicated one that one needs a lot of wisdom to address. You love your spouse very much, you don’t want to hurt or offend them, and yet there are issues with his/her parents.
They have been the ones taking care of your spouse before your spouse met you, so they cannot be wrong. They are flawless. They are saints, so does your spouse see them. How do you handle them in such a way that it doesn’t cause frictions? We will try and look into some of these issues.
Scenario 1 She grew up with her mum in Kaduna, who has been taking care of her ever since her dad traveled to South Africa when she was 12 years old. She is the firstborn and has been very close to her mum since then. Now she is married. Her mother does not understand that she is married. They live close to each other and their mum visits them every day. The husband is infuriated and irritated each time he sees her. She even passes the night and spends weeks with them.
Initially, she helps with the daughter. The husband complains a lot about this but the wife feels he is taking things too seriously. The wife, who is a Medical Doctor, is sure divided between her mum and her husband. Her time is divided, her attention, her finances, her care, she is divided in spirit, soul, and body.
Her mum will often take her time talking with her. She enters their room and she has no boundaries whatsoever. She gets on the husband’s nerve so much that they often have open confrontations. Instead of the mother seeing that she is intruding, she sees it as enemies not wanting her to stay with her daughter. The husband has instructed his wife a number of times about her mother but only falls on deaf ears. She claims ‘will I send my mother away?’
What should be done?
This is a clear case of over-familiarity. The bond between the mother and her daughter is so close, more so that she is more or less separated from her husband who has not been home for many years.
The husband should be patient and use a lot of wisdom while being firm. While they are looking for another accommodation far away from where the mother lives, the husband should try and reduce their dependency on her.
The husband should be very strict and put certain instructions and rules in place. The husband should also be very prayerful and very patient. No matter what, he should not allow himself to be provoked.
Scenario 2 The husband is the first born and lived with his parents before he got married. He was to get a house after the wedding but one week became six months.
The wife is not finding it funny but she tries her very best to be a good daughter in-law. The wife leaves her job as a Pharmacist in Abuja to stay with her husband in Ogun state where he leaves with his parents.
The wife doesn’t have a job yet in the new place and she is frustrated. They fight, quarrel and the husband concludes she’s not been patient enough. The husband’s job is not that stable so he doesn’t know whether he will settle in Ogun state, Abuja or outside the country.
The problem is with the mother in-law. She is so attached to the son. Her body language is that they should stay and keep living with them.She behaves like her son’s wife. She takes care of him, asks what he will eat as though the wife does not exist. She competes with the wife over him and for his attention
What should be done?
The husband has to try as much as possible and get a house in where he plans to settle down. Even if it is a room, he needs to take a drastic decision because it is obvious his wife is running out of patience. With that distance, they can reduce their proximity to the mother. They will still remain in touch through regular calls.
The wife should be full of prayers and very patient at this time not to do anything she will later regret. She should be calm and try harder to endure till it’s over.
They also need counsel and should be guided all the way.
Tomorrow, we will consider more scenarios and pick out lessons from them.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to handle all in-law issues.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, give me wisdom and discernment to handle all in law issues.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his own wife.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to handle every in-law issues in your marriage with God’s wisdom
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY 2 Chronicles 28; 2 Kings 16-17
Today’s topic is very important, And I want you to give it rapt attention, “Don’t let joy wither from your marriage”. I know youare a perfectionist. You like to fix everything and everybody. You don’t like things out of order. You feel the compulsion to fix your spouse. They have to be in a certain way. Eat in a certain way, laugh a certain way, or talk in a certain way. Oga, free yourself! You are not the Holy Ghost. You cannot change anybody so don’t kill yourself trying.
You are sensitive. If things don’t go the way you want, your day or week is spoilt.
It is good to demand high standards from our spouse and children lest we become mediocre. We have to understand that we can only influence people to change.
Most of our frustrations in marriage is because we are trying too hard to fix our spouse. Don’t forget we are only privileged to be married to our spouse. They are as much individuals just as we are. They have their own opinions, view points, ideologies and standards.
Even your babies are individuals and must be treated with respect. We should respect the fact that they are separate entities. How much more should you respect your spouse!
If you become too forcy about trying to have things done your way, first you won’t get the best of your spouse. They will be living under your shadow, not expressing their individuality. Things will be boring around you. You want to force people to be and do exactly like you want?
Learn to be joyful. Be happy. Be someone with gladness all the time. Let your spouse be happy around you. Give room for expression of their individuality.
Don’t let joy wither from your home and marriage. Celebrate your wins. Celebrate small victories as though they are big wins and eventually the big wins will come.
Things dry up because you allow joy to dry up. Finances, testimonies, breakthrough are all a response to our joy.
The meat offering and the drink offering is cut off from the house of the Lord ; the priests, the Lord’s ministers, mourn. The field is wasted, the land mourneth; for the corn is wasted: the new wine is dried up, the oil languisheth. Be ye ashamed, O ye husbandmen; howl, O ye vinedressers, for the wheat and for the barley; because the harvest of the field is perished. The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men. Joel 1:9 – 12 KJV
Things dry up when we allow joy to dry up. Let nothing steal your joy.
As couples, consciously and intentionally make room for joy. Learn being cheerful. Practise it. It is a command from God.
Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Philippians 4:4 KJV
God won’t ask us to do what He knows we can’t do. He asked us to rejoice. It is not a suggestion. It is not based on our situation. The word is the same under favorable and unfavourable situations.
Rejoice in your home. Rejoice in your marriage. Rejoice ever more.
We have to consciously respond to the joy in our spirit. That joy is in us. It is in our recreated human spirit.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22 – 23 KJV
As a wife, the tempo and atmosphere of the marriage and home depends largely on you. So maintain your joy. If the devil cannot steal your joy he can’t have your goods. He can’t have your marriage. Your marriage and home belongs to God.
Whatever you are trusting God for, rejoice, celebrate and be thankful, sing songs of joy.
All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. Proverbs 15:15 KJV
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am joyful always.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for the spirit of joy in your home.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Philippians 4:4 KJV
One of the most difficult things to do is to try and maintain the spiritual glow now that you are married. Before marriage, my husband would read about 40 chapters of the bible, pray in tongues for hours and practice the presence of God. Apart from the fact that he is a pastor and must study and pray, all those times given to reading 40 chapters are no longer there.
When you are a married couple your time just seemed to be shared. It is no longer your time. The home is there, the kids are there to take care, responsibilities keep piling up and you just have your 24 hours in a day to maintain all that balance.
With maturity comes the ability to do a lot of things together at once, it is called multitasking.
As a mother, if you don’t know how to multitask, you have not yet started, especially if you are a career woman. If you have a job you do, I mean 8am to 6pm job like I used to do, and you don’t have a maid, and you have a ministry and God’s people to oversee, you had better know how to multitask, because multitasking is a must skill.
You have to learn to continually maintain the spiritual tempo not only of yourself but of the home. I am not there yet and I have to repent sometimes of not doing what I should be doing in terms of spiritual activities. I just come to terms that what has to be done must be done. So my daily reading of God’s word, my daily prayers, my daily confessions must be observed no matter what.
So, you must make a quality decision to make your spiritual glow a priority.
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY We are strengthened
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2Sa 22:33 (KJV) God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.
