Don’t Play the Victim In Your Marriage. I heard the story of a man of God who went hunting together with a friend (the friend was actually the one taking him hunting). He was looking forward to having a quick or fast hunting experience but to his greatest surprise this was not happening.
He then asked his friend “where are the animals?” His friend said, “I will show you a secret.” He made a certain sound, and true to his words, an animal came out from the woods. He asked his friend what was the connection between the sound and the animal coming out?
The friend told him, that was no ordinary sound, but the sound made by animals that are caught in a trap, that are already helpless. Hearing that sound means there was cheap meal available for it.
This is the crust of my message this morning.
“There is no virtue in playing the victim”.
Our lives are constantly making sound(s) in the spirit realm. What sound are you making? Are you playing the victim game? Is your life oozing out victory or defeat?
Even in our marriage, if we constantly give a sound of defeat and being beaten, our spouse will not enjoy our company despite loving us. Don’t Play the Victim In Your Marriage
Another truth is that the sound you produce determines more of what you attract. If you are joyful, you will attract more joy.
Don’t be a victim in your marriage. We all have being through some things. Yes, I know some have been through harder situations than others. Bible tells us, we can handle whatever comes our way.
1 Corinthians 10:13 KJV. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
Whatever situation we faced or passed through is to make us better not bitter. We gained experience to comfort others with the comfort where with we were comforted.
2 Corinthians 1:3 – 4 KJV Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
Pick up yourself from your past. Whatever happened in your past, rise above it and don’t live in your past. Don’t keep the memory of your past in your present. You lost your mum, yes, live past it. You lost money, lost relationship, whatever your loss is, get past it and move on.
Move on as though it never happened. Dust yourself. Be like the donkey in a story, who even though dirts were dumped on it it “shook it off the dust and stepped on it”.
The more you play the victim the more life will hand you more abuse. When you murmur, complain and grumble about life the “serpent” will bite you. Your sound of murmuring and complaining will attract demons who will give you more reasons to complain.
Keep up your joy. Let the sounds of Glory, of rejoicing and shouts of praise proceed out of you.
In your marriage, you become attractive to your spouse when you are full of life. Depression is a disease that repels. It is repulsive. You want to be your spouses’ friend? Then be responsive, be jovial, be playful, be youthful.
Some times we feel when we play the victim we engender sympathy and pity from others. Yes, we might. But soon they get tried and frustrated.
We already have all the victory in Christ Jesus. Don’t have an entitlement mentality. The world doesn’t have to revolve around you. Pick up yourself and enjoy life. Don’t Play the Victim In Your Marriage
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My mind is renewed by God’s word. I am not a victim of life
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY O Lord, I ask for wisdom in areas where I lack wisdom in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:2 (CEV) Don’t be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think. Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to him.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE Pick up yourself from whatever happened in your past. Stop being the victim.
Seeing Love From The Eyes of Jesus Christ. The love of Jesus is an absolute, unconditional and a sacrificial love. A love marked with ultimately giving of Himself.
The Bible says
john 3:16, ‘For God so loved the world that He gave His only beloved son, that whosoever shall believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.’
He loves us that we may know how to love. He shows us how to love that we may in turn reciprocate that agape love to others especially our spouse. Seeing Love From The Eyes of Jesus Christ will make us appreciate that love.
The love of Jesus is greater than any type of love. It is so deep, it reaches the inner recesses of our heart and the core of our being. It is so wide we can’t get round it , it covers all our being. It is so high we can’t get enough of it. It just overwhelms us.
Such is the love of Jesus to us. His love was what made Him die on the cross of Calvary. Jesus came to this world as the express image of God the father. He is the expression of the father. The expression of the fathers love. This love is not selfish or self seeking. It is a love that is faithful and loyal . A love that keeps waiting with arms wide open to receive us. Our weaknesses, faults, short comings, stubbornness, disobedience not withstanding.
The abba fathers love yearns for us every time, He wants an intimate relationship with us. He wants to be our Yahweh. Our best friend , our shepherd who protect us with His life. He wants to be our defender, the one who fights our battles for us. Our Jehovah Rohi, Shammah, Rapha and whatever names, He has revealed Himself to us
Seeing Love From The Eyes of Jesus Christ’s perspective helps us to see how we should love our spouse unconditionally.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse with the agape, unconditional love of Christ
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord; let me see and receive your love that I may love my spouse the same way
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 3:16 God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die.
The ultimate goal of your marriage is that you and your spouse become best of friends, an intimate relationship or better still a covenant relationship. This Is what marriage is meant to be. We have to find a common ground of friendship where we truly love and like ourselves. That’s why we always advise you marry your friend.
Some of us were not really friends before they got married while some others lost their friendship along the way in marriage. Life happened to them and the very basis for their friendship was eroded. Others could not manage their differences, and as such lost their friendship. Yet others allowed third parties come between them.
Our friendship as couples is meant to last till death do us part.
Pro 18:24 (MSG) Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.
Pro 18:24 TPT) Some friendships don’t last for long, but there is one loving friend who is joined to your heart closer than any other!
We are supposed to stick together for life.
Here are some tips that will help you build friendship with your spouses and become best friends. We must show ourselves friendly if we must have our spouse as our friend. {Pro18:24)
How To Best Be Friends with Your Spouse
Spend a lot of time together and learn how to start and sustain conversations. Friendship is spelt time together doing activities together and communicating. Stay as much as possible and keep in touch through text, calls, chats etc. and also enjoy each other’s company.
Forgive easily, quickly and completely
Pro 17:9 CEV You will keep your friends if you forgive them, but you will lose your friends if you keep talking about what they did wrong.
Do activities you both enjoy together. Do what you both enjoy doing. Eat out, walk together, watch movies, go sight seeing.
Be each other’s cheer leader. Let your spouse always feel like a million bucks. Don’t pull your spouse down.
Be vulnerable with each other. Encourage open conversations.
Accept each other’s flaws. Roses have thorns, if you focus on the thorn you will not enjoy and appreciate the fragrance of the rose.
Don’t focus on each other’s weaknesses. Stop drawing attention always to your spouse’s weaknesses. Give them time to grow and trust God to work on them.
Encourage each other during tough times. Be the support system for them, always be there for them.
Don’t be a boss or be domineering. Respect each other’s feelings, boundaries and personality differences
Be honest. Give your sincere opinion or correction in love
This is How To Best Be Friends with Your Spouse. God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am my spouse best friend, no one and nothing can come between us
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
I let go of every offense that has cause our friendship to be turned in hatred in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:24 KJV A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
We are considering The Importance of Peace in Marriage today. Peace is not just the absence of troubles, it is tranquility in the midst of the storm.
In Mark 4:32, we read the story of Jesus calming the boisterous sea and wind. He was able to calm that storm basically because He was with them on that trip.
Jesus the Christ is not only the source of peace, He is the Peace Himself. The Prince of peace, the Amen, the Word of God.
In John chapter 2, Jesus was not just a guest at the wedding (your marriage). He was acknowledged, honoured, valued and obeyed. They know The Importance of Peace in Marriage!
Do you value Jesus the Word and allow Him have a say in your marriage? Do you believe Jesus can proffer solution to your marital crisis? Are you willing to obey whatever He asks you to do no matter how ridiculous or difficult or time consuming it seems?
Jesus is that peace your marriage desperately needs. Just like Jesus was the solution that the Cana of Galilee wedding needed in John 2. They could have despise Him, refuse to acknowledge Him and disobey Him, to their detriment. They chose rather to not ignore The Importance of Peace in Marriage!
Don’t just be a church goer, a prayer warrior, a demon chaser, don’t just know Jesus (they must have known Him to invite Him to the wedding). Recognize Him as the final authority in your marriage. Whatever Jesus tells you to do, DO IT, and you will experience miracles beyond your imagination.
God bless your marriage
Thought for the day.
I need Jesus in my life and marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not only have Jesus passively in my marriage but I will listen to His voice and obey Him.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord help me to make you the Lord of my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mary then went to the servers and told them, “Whatever Jesus tells you, do it!” John 2:5 TPT
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read a book on how to hear God’s voice
Is Your Marriage a Reward or an Assignment? Marriage is a beautiful experience when we go by God’s dictate. People can make their wedding day more beautiful than their marriage. They attach more priority to the wedding day than they do the marital life. Every one loves a beautiful wedding day. From the bride’s gorgeous dress, to the maids of honours’ outfits, to the flowers, the well decorated hall, the music and the joyous atmosphere. We plan for the wedding day for months forgetting the marriage which is more important!
My question to us this morning is simple. Is your marriage a reward or an assignment? For some people, marriage is a reward, a prize and they want to sit back and enjoy their reward.
Is Your Marriage a Reward or an Assignment? For some others, marriage is an assignment. A calling to work and labor. To the wives, a call to be an helpmeet, to respect and to be forgiving. To the husband, a call to love like Christ loves the church.
What a great assignment we have on our hands. We will keep on learning, unlearning and relearning to fulfil this assignment. It is actually a life long assignment we will never graduate from.
God’s standards are defined and it is to him we are accountable. He is the one to mark our scripts. So husbands and wives, be diligent to do your assignment.
God bless our marriages. Is Your Marriage a Reward or an Assignment?
Tonight, Tue, 19th July, we will be having School of Relationship and Marriage and Pastor Sophia and I will be teaching you! It will take place on YouTube. You can subscribe ahead and click on notification bell to know when we go live by 6.00pm. Use this linkHERE
God bless you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am focused on my God given assignment
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me grace to give my assignment all it takes to make a success of it in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAYRom 8:13 (KJV) For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be intentional about working on your marriage
