How To Strengthen Your Connections. Our connection has to be strong whether we are married or single. It’s all about friendship oneness, union, togetherness, and understanding.
for you in courtship, know that your courtship is to build a solid friendship. The married folks will tell you that friendship is everything.
When you are friends with your spouse the problem is half solved. You don’t fight your friend and even when you fight you easily end it because you are friends and share a lot in common. But if you can harbour strife successfully for two weeks or more, then we should question your friendship.
One important ingredient your courtship and marriage should never lack is your ability to constantly talk. Have loving, meaningful, and thoughtful conversations.
In strengthening our connections, we will be using the illustration of tending a vineyard as an example.
We can strengthen our connection using four analogies for those that are married and intend to get married.
How To Strengthen Your Connections
1. Adjusting
Just as in tending a vineyard you make adjustments as a couple.
As couples, you need to make certain adjustments to accommodate another life in your space. You no longer live for yourself. You make your own necessary adjustment because it’s easier to change yourself than your spouse.
As a single person begin to adjust your thoughts, words, and actions
How To Strengthen Your Connections
2. Prunning
As you prune your vineyard to get a better harvest, so also you prune your life’s activities. You begin to cut off unnecessary activities that can hinder your aims as a couple. Not all activities are beneficial for your relationship. You cut off such non-essentials.
How To Strengthen Your Connections
3. Supporting
Just as you support a vineyard for maximum productivity, you have to support your relationship and marriage. The support of godly friends, mentors, family, and whatever can be of support to your relationship or marriage at whatever stage you are.
How To Strengthen Your Connections
4. Renewing
Your relationship and marriage need to be constantly renewed so that you will not lose the taste and flavor of your marriage.
Renew your relationship by having constant date nights, vacations, and fun trips together.
Reduced To A Piece Of Bread. What I want to write about this morning is a plague that is eating deep into the body of Christ. You see believers, tongue-talking, bible reading children of God falling into this sin, some very deliberately and some not so deliberately. Whether it was a deliberate sin or not, it doesn’t make it any less sinful and displeasing to God.
We shall take our text from the book of
2 Sam 11: 2-5 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.) Then she went back home. The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, “I am pregnant.”
The mere fact that it is a well-thought process means we can prevent it from happening.
The book of Proverbs calls it a senseless act. It turns those who involve in it into a crust of bread. Reduced To A Piece Of Bread
Pro 6:26 (KJV) For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
TODAY IS DAY 2 OF FASTING AND PRAYERS FOR 2023. CHECK TODAY’S PRAYERS POINTS HERE AND DECLARATIONS HERE
The consequences far outweigh and outlive the momentary pleasure. What. it does is that it throws the family into perpetual sorrow and heartache. It affects finances and one’s wealth and health.
There are countless stories of men who were once rich but adultery swept their wealth away. Their families are not always together.
Why do you want to put fire in your bosom and then not expect to be burnt?
You will definitely be burnt. And you know burns always leave a scar. Reduced To A Piece Of Bread
You are unmarried, a guy or a lady, and you are involved in this, just know that it has consequences.
You say you can’t help it. Days of ignorance God has winked at but now He is holding us accountable for our sins. God will forgive but the consequences live with us.
As in the days of David in our text, it was a well-thought-of action like it is with most of the people that engage in it.
There is always enough time to think about the consequences.
I want to encourage us this morning to stop the process and think of the heartache and pains you are putting your family through. Reduced To A Piece Of Bread
You are getting too close for comfort to the opposite sex, cut off the relationship before you get into trouble
You really like him but it’s too late you are already married, cut off that relationship before you cut off your life and destiny
Be true to yourself and retrace your steps. Ask for God’s Mercy and turn around from your ways.
You are in another man’s arms because you want no one force you. You are in the embrace of another woman other than your wife because you love the pleasure of sin.
Let me stop here. We will not be Reduced To A Piece Of Bread
I pray for God’s Mercy to come into the heart of all those truly seeking a way out in Jesus’ name
A Gentle Response Turns Anger Away. We can either respond or react. Most times husbands and wives are seen reacting rather than responding. It takes great maturity and understanding to respond and not react. Understanding the marriage covenant that you and your spouse are a team and understanding the personality of your spouse.
This scripture in Proverbs is not just for the wives but also for the husbands. Let’s take a look at what it says:
Pro 15:1 KJV A soft answer turneth away wrath: But grievous words stir up anger.
It’s talking about both our words and our response to words. In any scenario, in marriage or a relationship, we are either talking and responding or reacting to what is being said.
TODAY IS DAY 3 OF FASTING AND PRAYERS FOR 2023. CHECK TODAY’S PRAYERS POINTS HERE AND DECLARATIONS HERE
A Gentle Response Turns Anger Away. Ask questions to seek knowledge of why your spouse did certain things. Don’t jump to conclusions about things. In order words, don’t be judgemental or accusatory, Seek to find out the reasons behind your spouse’s action.
Correction is better done when the reason behind an action is known.
Let’s look at another translation in the Amplified
Pro 15:1 AMP A soft and gentle and thoughtful answer turns away wrath, But harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger.
Don’t be careless with your words. We see that both in our relationships and marriage, what is said and how it is said matters a lot. So also how we respond. A Gentle Response Turns Anger Away
We often leave how we spoke and focus on how our spouse responded. And this could be a cycle of speaking in an offensive manner, your spouse reacting to what is said, and the spouse who initially said something now reacting back to the reaction of the spouse. And before you know it a whole lot of time and energy is dissipated
God is not about pointing accusing fingers. In marriage or a relationship, it is not about who is right or wrong. Or trying to prove a point, it’s about fixing the marriage and letting the marriage run smoothly.
Anytime there is a negative vibe, a negative reaction follows. But God is asking us not to react but to respond in a calm and loving way. That is where the work is. To speak softly even when your natural reaction should be that of anger.
Let’s look at another scripture
Eph 4:29 KJV Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Eph 4:29MSG Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.
So in conclusion, in your relationship don’t speak harshly to your fiance or fiancee. Speak in a way that is thoughtful. Carefully think of what you want to say and how you say it. Ask the Holy Spirit for His help in your choice of words tone and body language when speaking. It is not just saying what you feel like saying, it is considering others. Yes, the truth hurts but even Jesus spoke the truth in parables.
In our marriage let us be mindful of our words. Be mindful of your responses too. Don’t react in anger or withdrawal or give the silent treatment. Respond by explaining and admitting when you are wrong.
God bless our marriage. A Gentle Response Turns Anger Away
God Will Show Up For You! Happy new month to you all. God’s faithfulness has kept us alive in the days, months and weeks of 2022.
It can only be God. Despite the so many evils and hardships. It is not just another month, it is the last month of 2022.
God saves the best for the last and He is still the God of the last minute miracle. Yes, He is. So in your marriage and relationship, expect God to move like never before. Why? Because He loves you and He has already given you His best. If Jesus could die for you and I, then there’s nothing God cannot do for us.
God will usually want us to corporate with Him in receiving anything from Him. Look at the gift of salvation for example, Jesus paid the ultimate price for us. He suffered, was crucified, rose again, defeated death, went to hell, gave us the victory. Guess what? With all that Jesus did, we only gain access to this beautiful privilege and transformed life if we accept His sacrifice for us. God Will Show Up For You!
If you don’t believe and accept, then you forfeit all the right and privileges of redemption. You lose all these if you fail to do your part. Why does God do
this? He is Lord. He is the unquestionable God. He says what He wants and it becomes a law. We just have to submit to His will.
Nehemiah 8:10 (KJV) Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
God Will Show Up For You! The last phrase says the Joy of the Lord is your strength.
You can only access the strength of the Lord if you are happy. You access the supernatural strength of God by being joyful.
God says I have a better way for you to have the victory on your relationship and marriage. He says my way and method is for you to be joyful.
Yes, I know your husband is cheating on you. He is been unfair. He lies. He is insensitive. He is cruel and unkind. He has accused you and it hurts bad. Your in-laws are not kind to you. Yes, your relationship is complicated. You have had so many broken relationships. You are afraid of what the future holds.
Whatever your situation is, in your own marriage or relationship, let the joy of the Lord be your strength.
Maybe you are struggling financially, things are not just working, you need God’s intervention to pay an urgent bill, you are believing God for the fruit of the womb. You have suffered loss. I know these situations are not palatable, yet God must be obeyed.
Whatever your case maybe, the way to victory is Joy. God Will Show Up For You!
That joy will not be what you feel like doing. You feel like crying, having a pity party, complaining, being sad and depressed. But God says don’t be sorrowful. Be joyful. Be joyful purposefully. Your joy has a purpose, it becomes strength to you. It becomes the strength of God. How powerful that is.
Strength for what? Strength to do God’s will. Strength to march on in victory.
Remember this last month of the year, be joyful. Say no to every form of sadness around you. Avoid the complaining, murmuring, put on the music and dance. Be thankful to God. Then God will show up for you in your relationship and marriage. He will step in. Because you have chosen to obey His word.
You will have the strength to do the impossible. The strength to take up new project. The strength to rise again. The strength to mount up like the eagles. The strength to access the abundance God has for us.
Some of us have to fight the battle against unhappiness. Learn to be happy again. Be happy with the little you have and see it multiply. Make up your mind to give this last month to joy. You have been sad enough in the last 11 months. Now is the time to change tactics. Be joyful. God Will Show Up For You!
Fasting and Prayers Begin Today! Find useful links below:
Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage. George and Sally fell in love with each other. They were so happy, they knew God was in it. They had prayed, fasted, and involved their pastors along. They were so sure it is going to be a time of heaven on earth.
Sally had a lot of childhood expectations for herself and the love of her life. She had plans and had her imagination filled with how they would live together in courtship. To her greatest surprise, not too long into their courtship, they started having clashes.
George was insensitive with his words and often passed unpleasant jokes and comments about Sally. Sally on the other hand was being overly sensitive. This continued for a long time until they both began to contemplate going their separate ways.
It was a rude shock to Sally that despite being in the center of God’s will they still have issues. The problem is that she is not even sure what she is doing wrong. If she must save her courtship she must know how to handle issues between them.
She decided to write out the things they were doing wrong in their courtship. She came up with the following.
Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage
They were shouting at each other.
They were accusing each other.
They were full of retaliation.
Rather than listen to one another, they would defend themselves.
They both wanted to win the argument.
They were fond of reporting one another.
They will keep malice for days and they both found it difficult to forgive and let go. After writing about all the problems they were facing in their relationship, She had a light bulb moment. Those were the things they should never do to each other. They must find a way to eliminate and handle the issues correctly.
On the other hand, the Johnsons have been married for three years and their marriage seems to go through high waters. They seem to argue over everything. It didn’t look like they went through courtship. Their differences seem so much and they don’t know how to manage them. Mrs. Johnson could not take any of these again, it was already affecting her health. They tried a few times to stop the incessant quarrels but soon they were back to square one.
There were times it got so bad, and other times they tried managing themselves. What could be wrong with us? She started to ask some questions. As she sat before me, I proffered some solutions to their issues. Here are some things she learned.
Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage
Be positive. Think good of each other. Don’t assume.
Identify the problem. Do not muddle things up
Never attack your spouse. You’re a team.
Express your feelings in love. Be considerate
See any mistake as our mistake.
Never be too big to apologize.
Be prayerful and learn to talk to God
Seek a professional counselor, not a family member to help resolve the conflict.
With these tips, she and her husband are on their way to recovering their marriage. Mrs. Johnson was determined more than ever before to do everything in her path to enjoy bliss in her marriage.
In the same way, we must be determined to seek help and do all we can to ensure our marriage is great! Conflict Resolution In Relationship And Marriage
