The most crucial element in relationships and marriages is perhaps direction.
Knowing who to date.
Knowing who to go out with.
Knowing who to get married to.
Knowing where to settle down.
Knowing what kind of career path, job, or business endeavor to pursue.
Knowing how many children to go for.
The list goes on and it’s endless.
The greatest secret of resounding success is the direction and knowing specifically what to do.
We know that there is a template or blueprint that God has for us individually and for our relationships and marriages. Plugging into this specific template eliminates most issues that might arise.
How do we get to a place where God directs our paths?
That is what I want to show you this morning.
Pro 3:5 (KJV) Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
The greatest enemy of having God direct us is twofold from the above verse:
~ When you don’t trust God with all your heart
~ When you lean or depend on your understanding.
The next verse tells us precisely what to do.
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Did you see that? Acknowledge Him in all your ways and the next thing is that He will direct your paths!
How do you acknowledge God in all your ways, especially in relationships and marriages?
Put Him first place in your life. Put His Word first place and honour that Word by reading and studying regularly.
Talk to Him before every decision, both minor and major decisions! Let Him be involved all the way.
When you include God this way, He promises that He will direct your paths.
As I close, let us take a look at that same verse in The Amplified Version:
Pro 3:6 (AMPC) In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
I pray that God will direct your paths indeed! He will give you the wisdom needed to be able to acknowledge Him in all your ways!
The fact that God Himself instituted marriage is enough reason that your marriage will be great if you cooperate with Him.
He originated and instituted it. It was His idea, he was the one who said:
Gen 2:18 (KJV) And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
God started the idea of marriage. It is wise to consult Him all the way! He has the template. He owns the blueprint. Forget about being romantic, go after His wisdom if you want to have a great relationship or marriage.
2. Go for knowledge
It is not enough to be a Christian or a believer, you have to go for knowledge in the place of marriage!
In schools, you learn, graduate, and get a certificate. In marriage, you get a certificate on the day you resume, and then the learning begins. You never graduate; you keep learning, and you must be open to learning and adjusting all the way. In marriage, you cannot insist on your own!
3. Get Mentors
Who is your relationship mentor? Who is your marriage mentor? This is important to avoiding the tormentors of life!
Those who have been married for several years have done what you are trying to do! It is a lot of wisdom to have somebody you are talking to!
Beware of an intending spouse who has no authority figure over him or her!
That is not a good sign!
4. Don’t joke with Prayers
The last reason I want to discuss today to ensure you have a great relationship or marriage has to do with prayers.
Pray very well and pray very hard!
Pray at all times committing your ways unto the Lord!
Acknowledge God in your prayers concerning your decisions!
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Things have rapidly changed over time. The Gen Zs and Millenials will laugh at how we used to do this love thing, while old-school folk will find it ridiculous how Gen Zs do things in their attempt to love.
Here are a few differences.
1. Asking a lady out was done face to face. There were no mobile phones. A few would write letters starting with “Doxology to you”
Today, Gen Zs can do all these using the popular “WhatsApp chats”
This makes the whole love thing playful, and yes, that is what it has become.
2. We used to go before the Lord to seek His face concerning who to marry! Often, with fasting, patience, and waiting on God to give a definite instruction.
Today, people mostly simply choose who they want and then pray to God to approve their choice. People decide who they want by simply checking social media profiles and drawing conclusions from there.
I believe strongly that God wants to lead us and guide us and has preferences for us. We can find this in the place of prayer and seeking His face.
Most people have been married under the permissive will of God. When people insist on who they want before God, they mostly always end in His permissive will. However, the ultimate plan of God is that we get married under the perfect will of God.
3. Fornication was an action that was treated as a sin and with stiff penalties and punishments for those who could not zip their trouser.
Today, the word “fornication” is becoming too blunt and is being replaced with “getting to know one another.” Today, people use “sex” to greet one another and entertain each other. Sin has been normalized and democratized.
However, God’s word remains the same. His standards and his laws haven’t changed a bit.
Act 17:30 (KJV) And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:
I will conclude with the Message Translation:
Act 17:30-31 (MSG): “God overlooks it as long as you don’t know any better—but that time is past. The unknown is now known, and he’s calling for a radical life-change. [31] He has set a day when the entire human race will be judged and everything set right. And he has already appointed the judge, confirming him before everyone by raising him from the dead.”
I was at a meeting this past few days, and our father, Dr. Albert Femi Oduwole, was ministering. He quoted a scripture that really struck a chord. It will bless you.
2Sa 14:26 (KJV) And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year’s end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king’s weight.
The scripture above referred to Absalom, who was the most handsome man in the Old Testament.
He would cut his hair at the end of every year because it had become heavy on him.
What is heavy on you that you are coping with? You are supposed to “poll” it.
Interestingly, the same hair was the point of his beauty. But that which is responsible for his beauty also became a point of weariness due to the heaviness.
How often have we found out that our point of giftings can often become a point of distraction, if left unpolled!
This is the end of the year! You need some polling to do!
The Amplified Bible calls it a burden!
2Sa 14:26 (AMPC) And when he cut the hair of his head, he weighed it–for at each year’s end he cut it, because its weight was a burden to him–and it weighed 200 shekels by the king’s weight.
Many of you are probably gifted and smart, but your weight has become too much of a burden!
The scripture rightly says:
Mat 11:28 (KJV) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
That hair that has grown over your relationship needs some polling. Some numbers need to be deleted. Some relationships need to be discarded. They have become a point of iniquity, and you know! Go get some barbing now!
Refuse to carry all demonic hair on your head! Do not allow any heaviness!
May God give you proper rest as you approach the coming year!
As the year winds down and the coming year beckons, I bring you a word of assurance that will anchor your soul in God.
Sometimes, we feel we are not married because of some enemies or mischief makers.
Those who are married often conclude that the strange battles they face, and the uniqueness of their experiences are caused by “village people!”
Sometimes, these singles and couples are correct, and sometimes, they are plain wrong!
But let us assume they are right. Okay?
What does the scripture say about enemies of our soul? Mischief makers. People who hate you for just being you and hate your guts. People you never offended but who disdain you for being alive. What does the Bible say about such enemies? Let us take a look.
Psa 7:15 (KJV) He made a pit, and digged it, and is fallen into the ditch which he made.
Wow! Your enemy who made a pit will end up in their own pit!
I even love the way Message Translation puts it in verses 15 and 16
Psa 7:15 (MSG) See that man shoveling day after day, digging, then concealing, his man-trap down that lonely stretch of road? Go back and look again—you’ll see him in it headfirst, legs waving in the breeze.
The pit digger will end in the very pit he is digging for you!
Why would this happen?
Verse 16 tells us
Psa 7:16 (MSG) That’s what happens: mischief backfires; violence boomerangs.
Mischief will always backfire. Mischief makers will always end up in their handiwork.
Never join perceived enemies in their mischief. Never dig a pit because you think somebody else is doing that against you.
Shovels are not part of your armour!
So what should you be doing?
Vrsre 17 tells you what to do.
Psa 7:17 (MSG) I’m thanking God, who makes things right. I’m singing the fame of heaven-high GOD.
Keep thanking God and you will keep getting the victory!
God will make all things right for you.
Thankful lips will do much more than using shovels!
