Wow, this looks like Pastor Sophia and I. Interestingly, I used to be quiet growing up. I really don’t know what happened. Any idea?
In the next few days, we are going to be looking at this series on different types of couples.
We are starting with The Vocal Husband and The Quiet Wife.
I have said it over and over again, opposites will always attract. And then after the wedding, as you begin to live together, the very opposites that attracted you will now begin to repel you.
And that is when the job really begins. I am usually amused at singles who say they know each other very well. It’s amusing. I have been married for twenty-four years and I can’t say I know my wife. You may as well go and ask couples who have been married for like forty years, they will tell you the same. This doesn’t mean your spouse is mysterious, it simply means there are different aspects that unfold every day. Several treasures are buried in your spouse that only find expression as time goes on.
Back to our topic, the vocal husband uses conversation as a personal therapy, he enjoys it and is emotionally fulfilled just by talking. The downside is that he also wants to talk when he is angry, sometimes using heavy words that can cause emotional damage to his wife. When he is angry, he vents using words in other to feel okay.
On the flip side, his wife who is on the receiving side, is likely not to enjoy such words when her husband is angry. Because she is a quiet wife, she is sensitive to words. Her therapeutic method is to be quiet and she can be fulfilled not talking.
The husband hates this because he is talking and there are no commensurate responses. When the wife is angry, she easily withdraws into her cocoon, thereby frustrating her husband the more. The drama gets more intense!
In Proverbs 20:6 (KJV), the question echoes through time, resonating with those navigating the complex landscape of relationships: “Most men will proclaim everyone his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?”
The Illusion of Proclamation.
Most men will ‘toast’ you and promise you heaven and earth, but a faithful man who can find? This proclamation of virtue often masks the true essence of fidelity. As we explore this timeless challenge, it’s essential to dissect the layers beneath these surface affirmations.
Decoding ‘Faithful’: Trusty or Trustworthiness. The term ‘faithful’ finds its roots in the Greek word ’emun,’ denoting trustworthiness. Essentially, the question emerges: amidst good toasters, who can be trusted?
The Dilemma Explored.
David, in Psalm 12:1 (KJV), adds another layer to the complexity: “Help, LORD; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among the children of men.”
A Quest for Good Husbands
Are there good husbands in this age? Will one ever find a man that will love God and love his wife as well? The quest for a partner embodying both godliness and spousal devotion raises its head.
Are there still men who will not compromise and cheat on their wives? The perennial challenge of fidelity in the face of tempting situations emerges. Can one find a man who remains faithful despite the availability of temptations?
Well, there are still faithful men! Elijah’s encounter with God reveals that amidst perceived scarcity, a multitude remains steadfast, refusing to bow to societal pressures. Trust God to lead you and don’t trust your brain and calculations alone!
The danger lies in concluding that “all men are evil.” Such a mindset perpetuates a cycle, attracting the very negativity one fears.
Trusting in Divine Guidance.
There are still faithful men, and there is a man that God has for you! Trusting in divine guidance becomes pivotal. When decisions align with God’s plan, the journey to finding a faithful companion becomes clearer.
The Pitfall of Self-Will.
But if you decide to do it your own way, try to buy your way into a man’s heart by offering your body, it usually wouldn’t work out because that is not God’s order. May God grant you more wisdom.
Embracing the Essence of “Leave” and “Cleave” in Marriage
Genesis Chapter Two and verse twenty-four sets the foundation for a thriving marital journey: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Unpacking the Significance of “Leave.”
The terms “Leave” and “Cleave” in this verse hold profound implications for successful marriages.
“Leave” signifies more than a physical departure. It involves loosening ties, relinquishing control, permitting independence, and forsaking undue interference. It’s a departure, not a disconnection.
A man’s departure is crucial for a prosperous marriage. It minimizes undue interference and control from parents, fostering an environment where the couple can flourish.
Understanding the Depth of “Cleave.”
“Cleave” means to cling, adhere, catch by pursuit, abide, follow closely, follow hard, and pursue relentlessly. It demands a shift of allegiance from parents to one’s spouse.
In marriage, your spouse takes precedence from day one. Cleaving means making your spouse the top priority, and understanding that your partner is not just another person’s spouse; they are yours. It involves continuous pursuit, a commitment that persists beyond the wedding day.
The Perseverance of Cleaving.
Cleaving is not a one-time event but a continuous pursuit. It’s an unyielding commitment to one’s own spouse. Attempting to cleave to another’s spouse can lead to marital crises. It requires being emotionally and otherwise connected, especially during challenging times.
Cleaving versus. Quitting
Cleaving means staying dedicated, and not quitting when faced with challenges. It’s comparable to one’s relationship with God; just as you cleave unto Him in adversity, you should cleave to your spouse in marital challenges. Leaving God or your spouse can complicate matters; therefore, cleave for life.
The Essence of Cleave: Dedication, Sharing, and Enjoyment
Cleaving goes beyond dedication; it involves sharing on the deepest level, enjoying each other’s company, and providing warmth. It’s a commitment to weathering storms together.
A Prayer for Strong Marriages
In closing, let’s offer a prayer for enduring and vibrant marriages:
“May God grant you profound understanding, shielding your marriage from crises. May the divine love between you two flourish, and may God infuse new life into your union.”
In life, individuals, whether single or married, grapple with challenges that test their commitment to God’s path. Let’s explore the stories of Sally, John, Mr & Mrs Balley, and decipher the common thread that binds their struggles.
Sally is a church girl. She goes to church regularly, belongs to the choir, and serves God passionately, but she is also caught up with some habitual sins, which she has not been able to confront for a long time.
John is the fellowship head of his campus fellowship but has sexual relationships with some of the flock he is supposed to keep. He knows his lifestyle doesn’t please God, but he would find himself from time to time doing what he preaches against.
Mr & Mrs Balley want to serve God and they are doing all they can. It is just that they are both compromisers, they are seeing someone else. They know it is wrong, but they continue, thinking that somehow, things will just work out.
What is common with these people?
They are all involved with what is not going to work. They are all hoping God’s mercy will work for them, and really it will work for a while.
Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. (Isaiah 55:1 KJV)
1. Recognizing the Invitation
Isaiah 55:1 extends an invitation—one that doesn’t require money but a thirsty heart. The principle embedded here is profound: the first step to a successful life, relationship, or marriage is to crave the things of God. Like buying water, wine, and milk without money, investing time and sincerity into God’s word is the key.
2. Thirst for God’s Word
Your legitimate thirst for a fulfilling life, a thriving marriage, and the finer things is acknowledged. However, the solution lies not in temporary gratification but in seeking the waters of God’s word. Quenching your soul’s thirst requires dedication and a heart turned toward God, not indulging in fleeting pleasures.
3. The Pitfall of Compromise
Sally, John, and Mr & Mrs Balley share a common misstep—they hope for God’s mercy while compromising. The invitation isn’t to quench your thirst in worldly traps but in the pure waters of God’s wisdom. Compromise may offer temporary relief, but true satisfaction lies in aligning with God’s principles.
4. Buying Rightly: A Heart Unto God
To navigate life successfully, you must buy rightly—with a sincere heart devoted to God. Spending time in God’s word becomes the currency for acquiring the revelations needed for your journey. The hunger for significance, wealth, and thriving marriage is pacified by honoring God’s invitation, not through fleeting relationships.
5. Honoring God’s Invitation
The emptiness, loneliness, and yearning for more find fulfillment in honoring God’s invitation. Seek His wisdom, not in temporary fixes, but in the enduring principles laid out in His word. Whether single or married, the key to lasting satisfaction is found in quenching your thirst with the eternal waters of divine guidance.
Conclusion: Embracing the Everlasting Solution
In the narratives of Sally, John, and Mr & Mrs Balley, we witness the struggles of those entangled in compromises. The enduring solution lies in recognizing the divine invitation, thirsting for God’s word, and buying rightly with a heart devoted to Him.
A robust marriage demands effective leadership. Much like the head guides the body, your role as a leader shapes the entire relationship. Cultivate a positive mindset and take strides to enrich your well-being. Just as physical exercise maintains the body’s fitness, continual learning and staying informed contribute to a robust and flourishing marriage.
Cultivate Transparent Communication
Keep your partner informed at all times. Share your plans, both immediate and long-term. Transparent communication is pivotal. Discuss your financial status openly and invest time in understanding your partner’s preferences. A deep understanding of your partner aids in making well-informed decisions about financial matters.
Articulate Your Partner’s Love Language
Expressing love in a manner that resonates with your partner is essential. Grasp and comprehend their unique love language, tailoring your expressions of love accordingly. It’s about fulfilling their emotional needs in a way that holds significance for them.
Assume the Role of a Protector
In the covenant of marriage, your partner is your ally. It becomes your responsibility to shield them emotionally, psychologically, and in all other aspects. Stand beside them, defend their interests, and ensure they feel secure within the relationship.
Harmonize Your Aspirations
Mutual goals serve as the bedrock of a successful marriage. Collaborate towards shared objectives, such as nurturing a family with strong values. Embrace the philosophy that “two are better than one,” and strive for a unified partnership that reaps the rewards of joint endeavors.
Conclusion: Constructing a Everlasting Marriage
Steer clear of unnecessary conflicts by prioritizing mature, constructive communication. Confront the trials of marriage with a united front, recognizing that your joint efforts contribute to a satisfying and enduring relationship. May your understanding of each other deepen, and may your marriage be blessed by the grace of God.