Spend time together. Never allow jobs, people, or any other thing to take this away from you. Learn to pray together every morning. This morning, I held my spouse in my arms, and we prayed together before I got up from the bed. You are able to maximize your time when you put God first place in your marriage.
2. Transition
Transition is defined in three ways:
a. the act of passing from one state or place to the next
b. an event that results in transformation
c. a change from one place or state or subject or stage to another
There will be transition times in your lives, when either spouse travels away for some time or when you get to a new place. Be careful with developing emotional affairs simply because your spouse is not around.
This can easily lead to adulterous relationships and this can further lead to separation and divorce since God’s injunctions that protect you have been violated. If you are already in one, it is not too late to stop it and ask God to help you!
3. Unequal yoke
Be wary of developing associations with friends who don’t know God or colleagues who don’t value the things of God. They can sow the wrong seed of words into your marriage and before you know it, you are already following their advice which is contrary to the ways of God.
Never discuss your spouse or family issues with colleagues. It can trap you and push you to the edge of confusion. I pray for you this morning that God will frustrate every counsel of Ahitofel in Jesus name!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in haste concerning my relationships. I will be led by God’s Spirit.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps so that I will not start wrong relationships in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things; -Proverbs 2:10-12 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the qualities you want in a man and use it to pray.
What other signs are there to show that you are ready for marriage? Read on to find out.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
3. You are responsible and committed.
Signs of perpetual irresponsibility show that you are not ready for marriage.
Are people always referring to you as irresponsible?
Are people always “concerned” about your habits and dispositions?
Yes, while men may be wrong at most times in their judgments, you should not ignore multiple corrections of the same thing by different people.
By the time your parents, siblings, school teacher, lecturer, Pastor, and lover complain about the same thing, then you need to pay some attention to that thing.
You see, your weaknesses can be oblivious to you and yet obnoxious in the least.
God will often use people around you while single, to expose some of the weaknesses you cannot even notice.
You can be so anointed and yet blind to the dangerous dispositions which are counter-productive for marriage. This is why the scripture says:
Who is blind, but my servant? or deaf, as my messenger that I sent? who is blind as he that is perfect, and blind as the LORD’S servant? – Isaiah 42:19 (KJV)
You can be a good praying Christian with good intentions and yet marriage becomes a mess.
This is because your good intentions are not enough, your commitment, resolution, and responsibility are required.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am improving and getting better
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me areas of my life I need to work on in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 42:19 (AMPC) Who is blind but My servant [Israel]? Or deaf like My messenger whom I send? Who is blind like the one who is at peace with Me [who has been admitted to covenant relationship with Me]? Yes, who is blind like the Lord’s servant?
Below are signs to know whether you are ready for marriage or not.
1. You are not lonely.
If you are lonely, you are not ready for marriage. Adam was alone, not lonely. Loneliness and alone-ness are miles apart.
Marriage is never intended to cure loneliness, rather it is to complement you and provide companionship.
If you study the word, “helper’ you will understand what I am saying here.
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. – Genesis 2:18 (KJV)
The Amplified Bible calls it helper and then goes further to expatiate that word.
Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. – Genesis 2:18 (AMPC)
2. You are not looking for a house-help.
A lady is to be a helper and not a house-help. The roles are defined. They are not the same.
She can help out do laundry depending on your arrangement, but she is not a dry-cleaner or a washing machine.
She is not coming to work her hands off while the husband sits back and watch news and football.
This even becomes important these days when there are a lot of career women.
If the young couple don’t have house-helps or any body helping out, then they need to both face the work and not leave it for one party.
This does not undermine the hard work and industriousness of the wife as this is exemplified in the virtuous woman, but it also doesn’t make the husband redundant in house as well.
There should be “division of labour” in love!
And this is why ladies should not go and spend weekends with a boyfriend all in the bid of securing a wedding. It doesn’t work that way.
You will end up having plenty of jeru trip and less of meaningful discussions to advance your marital plans.
Time that should be spent in knowing each other and probing character defects are spent locked up in each other’s embrace, in passionate sex, and this is why there are problems after wedding.
You never got to know that person with you on the bed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God will help me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in every you can in the name of Jesus
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 42:19 (MSG) You’re my servant, and you’re not looking! You’re my messenger, and you’re not listening! The very people I depended upon, servants of GOD, blind as a bat—willfully blind!
Women get easily hurt. And the husbands may not even be aware that they are hurt because their needs are miles apart.
Those are the times a husband asks his wife, “what is wrong?” She simply answers “Nothing!”
She says nothing because she doesn’t feel good explaining that something so little gets her upset.
Or she knows if she tries to explain, the husband might end up making her look like an idiot. So she keeps quiet.
What are examples of those little things that could upset your wife?
1. Don’t do things that make her uncomfortable sexually. Don’t embarrass her and don’t compare her with some past escapades.
2. Don’t ignore her when it comes to making important of financial decisions. Don’t leave her in the dark, keeping her guessing all the time.
3. Don’t compare her with others especially when it has to do with her appearance, weight or hairdo. Don’t go out of your way to appreciate and dote on other women while you completely ignore her.
4. Don’t do things that you have disallowed her from doing, making her feel like a little child who cannot think for herself.
5. Don’t ignore her when she is emotionally down or physically tired. Don’t say things like, “I am tired of you. When you get out of your nasty moods, let me know!”
6. Don’t hug and embrace other ladies endlessly while you don’t even hold her hands in public. Go out of your way and offer some PDA! Public Display of Affection!
7. Don’t leave her alone to do all the house chores while still expecting her to be an amazon in bed later in the night. That would be insensitive.
8. Don’t watch football all day and all night while refusing to let her watch her favorite programs. Don’t make her look like an idiot for her preference of programs. Join her to watch sometimes, and encourage her to join you as well.
9. Don’t forget or deliberately ignore her special days like birthdays and other anniversaries. Rather go out of your way to set notifications so that you can surprise her on those special days.
May God grant more understanding
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am good spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bless our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 5:18 (KJV) Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Now, let’s take a look at the physical symptoms of a guy that will not marry you.
1. He will not introduce you to any authority figures in his life.
He will not introduce you to his Pastor, (you don’t have any business with a man that doesn’t have a Pastor in the first place) nor will he introduce you to his parents. He will refrain from any action that could validate or stamp that marriage commitment. When you see this sign, it is an indication he is not really ready for marriage.
2. He keeps postponing the wedding date several times and keeps on procrastinating.
The date never comes and yet he keeps on telling you he loves you. Well, the date may never come!
3. He will tell you that you are number one on the list of his girlfriends and that you are very lucky.
He will tell you that even though he still sees his other girlfriends; you are the first on his list. You see, you don’t have any business being in this kind of relationship as the trend will continue after marriage and can threaten the marriage itself.
4. He is very jealous and he is very suspicious of you.
He does not trust you because he has a feeling you are doing the same thing he does. To the pure, all things are pure, to the impure all things are impure!
5. He does not want you fiddling with his phones so that you won’t discover the love tantrums going on via SMS and chats.
He sometimes keeps his phones “passworded” or tells you out rightly he doesn’t want you with his phone.
Don’t get into sinful adventure because of frustration, don’t try to satisfy the cravings and the emptiness of your heart with drinking or partying or sleeping around, run to your maker, the re-writer of history, the one that shows mercy to whom he will, the one that can reconfigure your life, and when you do that in faith, He will surely answer you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have God’s direction in my everyday life
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY
Lord, guide my steps and help me to make the right decisions in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me. – Psalm 31:3 (KJV)
