…And Judah turned unto her by the way and said, go to, I pray you, let me come in unto you: And she said what will you GIVE me, that you may come in unto me? And he said what pledge shall I give you? And she said, your SIGNET, and your BRACELETS and your STAFF that is in your hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him. –Genesis 38:16, 18 (KJV)
This scripture shows that Judah made a certain exchange to have sex with this woman. He exchanged his Signet, Bracelets, and staff.
Signet: which signifies your AUTHORITY
Bracelets: which is your BEAUTY
Your Staff: represent STABILITY
Many people do not realize that at every compromise there is always an exchange. There is a lot of significance to the things he exchanged; apparently, he didn’t see it that way. Just like most people do not consider the things they give out at every compromise, for every sexual escapade either as a man/woman, you lose something.
You lose those three things each time you compromise in adultery or any other form of sexual perversion.
Every time you had a quickie that is misplaced, every time you thought you were having fun, every time you thought you were cheating on your spouse, some part of you actually die.
Let’s look at some of those words:
What PLEDGE shall I give you..?
The Hebrew word is ‘Arabon’ taken from a root word that means ‘in the sense of exchange.’
So it was actually an exchange! It was a transaction.
I pray you will not exchange your destiny because of lust! Esau exchanged his destiny over a plate of porridge and the Bible says he sought for it with tears later. We are advised not to be a fornicator, and a profane person like Esau was.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have grace, wisdom, and diligence to build my marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I resist every hindrance to my success in my assignment.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So Jotham became mighty because he prepared his ways before the LORD his God. -2Chronicles 27:6 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out all your attitudes, positive and negative. Find ways to improve on your good attitudes and eliminate the bad ones.
Here is the stage a lot of relationships break up. Here, the differences between the lady and the man become glaring and very obvious. Differences in attitudes, characters, and mannerisms may result in misunderstanding. Immaturity and selfishness may result in break-ups.
It would take two people with the love and peace of God guarding their hearts to go through this stage successfully. If your love is based on ephemeral conviction, it cannot stand this stage. If your conviction is not really founded in God, the foundation collapses at this stage.
4. Endurance
Only relationships built on the solid foundation of God’s Word can endure this phase. Here, it seems that all you have in common apart from God are just differences, differences, and differences! At this stage, quarrels seem to be the order of the day.
The knowledge of the basic differences between a man and a woman, constant prayers offered for the relationship, and the presence of a good mentor over the relationship are very helpful to avoid break-up here. This is the stage you often reach the conclusion that the marriage cannot work.
When I got to this stage, I wanted to break up, and she wanted to break up. But every time we decided to go our separate ways, we lost our peace! We always came back. It is at this stage you decide to embrace God’s plan instead of being selfish and egotistical.
This is the most critical stage; any relationship that goes through this stage successfully will be established.
5. Enjoyment
After endurance comes enjoyment. Here you realize the rewards and blessings of relationship. The Biblical truth of two being better than one, and two being able to chase ten thousand while one could only chase a thousand, becomes a physical reality. Here, the differences are seen as a blessing, not as a challenge. The two enjoy their relationship. They align their visions; they now understand each other. They forgive easily. They stop getting hurt at everything and they decide to forge ahead in God!
Let me note here, that presence of good mentors and exposure to knowledge often helps to minimize issues in these stages.
I pray for you this day, that at whichever stage you find yourself, the wisdom of God will be available for you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient. I am not hasty. I am led of God
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive the grace to be patient in Jesus name. I receive help from God’s Spirit to stay with God’s plan for my life and relationship
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jas 1:2-3 MSG Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Locate which stage you may be in right now and discuss with your fiancée or spouse on how to pull through
Be committed to the things of God. Don’t be so busy with your career or family life that you abandon your purpose and the assignment for which God created you. Make sure you pursue your purpose because that is where true riches and fulfillment lie.
5. Love or lust?
Be selfless! That is how your marriage will last. Let the love of God propel you in all you do. Let the love of God be shed abroad in your heart. Love her truly. Respect him indeed. That is the blueprint that keeps divorce away!
Respect means a lot to a man while love means a lot to a woman. Rather than go back and forth on who is right or wrong, go ahead with agape love, unconditional love and you will keep your home together.
6. Space and Forgiveness
Forgive easily. It is the way to go if you want your marriage to last. Practice advance forgiveness. Never hold your spouse in bitterness. Men, be patient with your spouse and make sure you love her genuinely.
Women, do not close up your spirit against your husband to a point you now live like strangers in your matrimonial home. Those are dangerous precursors to divorce!
7. Mentors
Adulterous relationships and extra-marital relationships are rooted in secrecy. The moment you can hide something from your spouse, you have planted a seed for chaos. Be open with each other. It kills the power of infidelity.
Learn to have a joint mentor who you trust, whom you can report yourselves to that will help you sort out issues that are beyond you. Take issues as they come and don’t store up hurts.
God will help you and give you grace in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in haste concerning my relationships. I will be led by God’s Spirit.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps so that I will not start wrong relationships in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 2:10-12 KJV When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the qualities you want in a man and use it to pray.
Break-ups eventually occur if relationships are not built on strong biblical principles and foundation.
There are five processes or stages a relationship has to pass through progressively to avoid possible break-ups.
1. Attraction
There must be physical attraction between both parties. Never start a relationship with someone you are not physically attracted to. God will not force anybody on you. Moreover you will be doing yourself a lot of good when you marry somebody you are attracted to, so that your eyes can be on your spouse only!
However, the relationship cannot thrive on attraction alone. It must move on to the next stage. This is the stage you are all over each other.
God help you if you are writing an examination at this time, when you open your books to read, you see his/her face! It happened to me, I got engaged to my wife at examination time! Thank God I didn’t fail.
This is the time you feel your partner is right and every other person is wrong. You need to be careful at this time, making sure your relationship with God is intact so that you can still hear Him speak to you. What is the next stage?
2. Disturbance
This is the stage when the parties begin to realize their differences, and see in other people qualities they admire.
If their love is not genuine, the relationship is certain to collapse here. They start picking on themselves here. The guy begins to reason properly and the lady begins to get hurt easily.
He starts complaining that she has changed and vice-versa, but in reality, none has changed, they just suddenly start seeing what they refused to see before.
Love blinded them initially, but the eyes begin to open!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient. I am not hasty. I am led of God
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive the grace to be patient in Jesus name. I receive help from God’s Spirit to stay with God’s plan for my life and relationship
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. – James 1:2-3 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Locate which stage you may be right now and discuss with your fiancée on how to pull through
Spend time together. Never allow jobs, people, or any other thing to take this away from you. Learn to pray together every morning. This morning, I held my spouse in my arms, and we prayed together before I got up from the bed. You are able to maximize your time when you put God first place in your marriage.
2. Transition
Transition is defined in three ways:
a. the act of passing from one state or place to the next
b. an event that results in transformation
c. a change from one place or state or subject or stage to another
There will be transition times in your lives, when either spouse travels away for some time or when you get to a new place. Be careful with developing emotional affairs simply because your spouse is not around.
This can easily lead to adulterous relationships and this can further lead to separation and divorce since God’s injunctions that protect you have been violated. If you are already in one, it is not too late to stop it and ask God to help you!
3. Unequal yoke
Be wary of developing associations with friends who don’t know God or colleagues who don’t value the things of God. They can sow the wrong seed of words into your marriage and before you know it, you are already following their advice which is contrary to the ways of God.
Never discuss your spouse or family issues with colleagues. It can trap you and push you to the edge of confusion. I pray for you this morning that God will frustrate every counsel of Ahitofel in Jesus name!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in haste concerning my relationships. I will be led by God’s Spirit.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps so that I will not start wrong relationships in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things; -Proverbs 2:10-12 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the qualities you want in a man and use it to pray.
