Yesterday, we started looking at some pressures singles face, especially in the areas of relationships and marriage.
Let’s continue…
f. Self-imposed Deadlines
Deadlines are good and advisable, especially in goals achievement; however, they could be a source of pressure, especially in relationships.
You need to be patient and understand that God is involved in it too. He is even more interested than you are in your relationship, and He wants you to marry the right person, at the right time. Things become beautiful in His own time, not your own time.
Do not unnecessarily be in a hurry. The decision of a life-long relationship is worth giving all the time you can reasonably afford. Don’t rush into marriage. Courtship is necessary! Get to know him or her!
g. Emergencies
Do not get pressurized into a relationship because of emergencies. He just won a visa lottery, or got transferred to a distant location, or got a political or ministerial appointment, so he decided to make haste and get married for reasons that could range from ensuring he wouldn’t lose her due to distance or some other reasons.
If you are not very sure of him/her as your right life partner, do not make a marital commitment. Don’t yield to pressures when things become so fast you cannot think again.
Be wary of getting married to somebody you met last week online and then you are planning to resign your job and travel somewhere!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom to rule my house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
You should not only call the disciples (other friends) into your marriage, but you need to call Jesus as well. Both Jesus and his disciples were called. When they needed a miracle, it wasn’t the disciples that turned water into wine, they were busy drinking wine, but it was Jesus. There are times when the wine of the marriage dries up, and it is Jesus you need at such times.
In marriage, you need the person of Jesus and the principles of Jesus to make it. But you know, a marriage full of sexual compromise and lack of self-control is not giving space for Jesus at all. When you start having adultery, you are doing things worthy of self-rustication from the school. You are kicking at your teacher and you are trying to say you want things done your own way.
A marriage where the husband, wife or both of them are cheating are disenfranchising themselves from the very help and wisdom they need in their marriage! The scripture advises that you drink water from your own cistern!
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? – Proverbs 5:15 – 20
When you drink water from your own cistern (talking about making love with your wife), it is like water turned into wine. How sweet it is!
But, when you drink water from strange women and cisterns, you are taking poison! It tastes sweet in your mouth but it will hurt you!
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel. – Proverbs 20:17
The teacher is compassionate! He stands at the door of the class, in your heart, and simply wants you to extend an invitation to him to enter the class! In your marriage, the wine will always be insufficient.
Your own wisdom will fail you. But he is there to help you out, if you invite him!
Will you invite him today? It is the best thing to do. He will save you from shame and keep the wine of your marriage, life and destiny flowing beautifully. He will teach you how to make your marriage a bliss and not full of blisters, how to make it a haven and not an oven!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In my marriage, I will not be cut off in the midst of my days. I will last in the marriage institution.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 MSG GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
There are pressures everywhere. There are pressures that often attempt to take pleasure out of our relationships.
Let’s take a look at some pressures in the area of relationships and how to handle them.
We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; – 2Co 4:8 KJV
1. Sexual attraction
Physical attraction which often leads to sexual attraction can constitute so much pressure. Her possession of all the right statistics, the lips, tips and hips, or his good-looking appearance, height, muscles and riches should not captivate your mind to the point of getting you love-sick with unnecessary pressure.
The truth is that you can actually be in control (just as you have to be), get to know the person well before entering a relationship.
Don’t put yourself under any pressure over somebody you met a few hours ago. You cannot fall in love with someone you don’t know!
The pressure of sexual attraction also plays out itself in extra-marital and adulterous scenarios. You cannot bow under that pressure for any reason, even if you have to be thrown into furnace of fire like the three Hebrew boys where you are being threatened of losing some job or contract.
You should not sleep with your boss in order to keep your job! When you do that, you might think you have sustained your job or some promotions, but I can assure you that you would also have sustained havocs in your life and family and it will all culminate in regrets.
Why? It is not God’s order of doing things. Your body is not for all and sundry, it is not a tool to get what you want; it is the temple of God!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom to rule my house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
There are several factors that could literally put an end to a marriage. Marriage is an institution by itself. Someone rightly said that marriage is the only institution where you get the certificate first (on the wedding day) before you start learning!
Marriage is an inevitable school, a marital academy, not a martial school! There are so many things to learn and its curriculum lasts a life time. You never graduate. That is why you were given the certificate before you start the learning to prepare you for the reality.
However, the certificate does not change you in any way, it only binds you to the institution.
Marriage is like a car with no reverse gear! Once you try to fabricate a reverse gear, you tamper with the vehicle of marriage and you are no longer consistent with the manufacturer’s specification. The result is a damaged vehicle and before you know it, the car is grounded, the occupants are immobilized, and progress is truncated!
In the school of marriage, the matriculation and convocation take place the same day. You enroll and you get your certificate the same day. You are allowed to wear your graduation gown (wedding gown) and throw a party. And then the school begins.
There will be no graduation, neither are you allowed to withdraw (divorce) anyhow. Your spouse becomes your instructor and student at the same time. Your mark each other’s scripts. There will be several term papers, assignments, projects that touch you on the physical, emotional and psychological realms.
You are not allowed to be a day student. You are a boarder! No frolicking around! You are to focus on the curriculum, on your classmate and listen to several tutorials that will come your way to make you become a better student.
If you are good in Mathematics, your spouse will probably be good in English Language. While you are you are busy with your engineering, she is busy with her Home Economics. Trust me, this school can be enjoyed and not endured!
However you always have an internal examiner (Holy Spirit) that is ever ready to give you Areas of Concentration, if you ask. And of course there is the external examiner who is ever watching you and who will eventually reward for being a good spouse.
Joh 2:2 KJV And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.
Jesus was called to the marriage! His reward packages include favour, grace, help, open doors and so many others too numerous to mention.
You have one great manual, it is the word of life and it contains all answers to every question, puzzle or enigma that might rear up its head.
You are not allowed to fight with your only classmate. That is one of the rules of the class! You are to love, cherish adore and learn together. Learning has to be fun because it is life-long. You are not permitted to go into unnecessary and needless mood swings that leave your partner wondering what went wrong.
If you ever get into strife with your partner in class, your examiner will work out of the class and you won’t see him again until you make up! The examiner will disappear and you are left on your own, so never fight! If you quarrel, make up quickly!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In my marriage, I will not be cut off in the midst of my days. I will last in the marriage institution.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 MSG GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
An angry person is one to avoid. Two angry people are dangerous people! Simeon and Levi in the scriptures are brothers, but the Bible says their father placed a curse on them because of their unrestrained violent emotions.
Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel. –Genesis 49:5-7 (KJV)
They were of like tempers, dispositions, and manners, bold, wrathful, cruel, revengeful, and deceitful, and joined together in their evil counsels and evil actions which resulted in the cruel and barbarous slaughter of the inhabitants of Shechem.
If only one brother was angry, the other could have calmed his brother. But both were angry at the same time, so their anger fuelled one another!
Message translation of verse 5 says:
Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. –Genesis 49:5 (MSG)
As an individual, you must learn to restrain your anger and learn not to react at every provocation so that eventually when you are married, your home will be a habitable place for your children. What happens when my spouse is angry and raises his/her voice at me?
The answer is here;
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. –Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)
Learn to talk softly. You will be amazed! Don’t raise your voice back in anger! Just talking softly will make the anger will be defused. Learn this as singles and you will be saving yourself a lot of headaches.
That is the way Message translation puts it.
A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. –Proverbs 15:1(MSG)
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My heart will guide my mouth, and my lips will promote instruction. Jesus has been made unto me wisdom, and I will keep myself under control.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Give me the grace to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Make no friendships with a man given to anger, and with a wrathful man do not associate, -Proverb 22:24 (AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Try and identify your anger triggers and to seek help
