I Wish I Knew This During Our Courtship. I wish I knew we were supposed to be different. I got engaged to my wife in the year 1996. That was a long time ago. I was born again, with ministry in view, but I was an ignoramus when it came to the issues of temperament.
You see; knowledge is power. I am a quick, nimble person when it comes to how I do my things. My wife is not like that; she is deliberate in doing her things.
So, having waited for her like three times, and almost getting late for fellowship, (We lived in the same hall – male and female section!) I got angry. So I would lecture her and all that. Then I stumbled on the book by Tim LaHaye on temperament, and that book delivered me.
I understood that we are supposed to be different. I saw that it was actually our differences that got us attracted to each other in the first place because opposites attract.
However, after being lost in love and you are now awake, and your eyes are cleared, the very ‘opposites’ that attracted you in the first place now becomes an irritation and many relationships do not get past this stage!
Understand that you are supposed to celebrate your point of differences because that is how the balance would be achieved in your relationship and marriage later on. What would the world look like if everybody were like you? It would be so boring! I Wish I Knew This During Our Courtship
Many husbands ignorantly try to “change” their wives to be like them. It will not likely happen!
You can learn from each other over the years, and even exchange temperaments at some points, but you are going to be different in thought patterns, opinions, and so on.
Know this and know peace! Celebrate your differences and let weaknesses be covered by each other’s strengths.
No spouse is useless. Everybody is bringing something vital to the table.
Work together and harness your strengths. Minimize your weaknesses and you will be a power couple eventually.
I hope you are blessed this morning. Good morning! This is What I Wish I Knew During Our Courtship
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I seek relevant knowledge. God’s word gives me light
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me wisdom in areas where I lack in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength. Proverbs 24:5 KJV
Communication Is So Important In Marriage. I started writing yesterday on things that should be present in every marriage and we looked at one thing yesterday. Today we look at four more things.
The second thing that must be present in every marriage that will succeed has to do with communication.
Communication Is So Important In Marriage. Constant Communication. A man was once asked what the three most important things in a marriage are.
His response:
1. Communication 2. Communication 3. Communication
Do I agree? Yes, I fully do!
When communication dies, assumptions, suspicions, lies, and deception will take over.
There is nothing as beautiful as a marriage where both parties can fully express themselves. Hear each other out!
When a man talks, his goal may be a logical explanation, but when a woman talks, it is more than an explanation, it is a release; an emotional release.
So every time she is muted, there are pent-up tensions being stored up for a later time.
It is akin to the molten magma within, nothing shows on the surface much, but one day, the magma can no longer hold still, and there will be a volcanic eruption causing untold havoc!
Unexplained hurts, unexpressed bitterness, are all like the molten magma in the belly of the ground.
So, when you tell your spouse to “shut up” continually, and it looks as though you are in charge and winning, well, you are not really winning, you are actually losing!
Allow free expression in your matrimonial home.
When a lady is also reluctant to talk or communicate, it shows some deeper issues as well.
Both husband and wife have to be committed to communication. The excuse of temperaments should not be brought in.
Well, people at work, in church, or elsewhere can look at you and say you are a quiet person, but your spouse should be able to say “you are not quiet to them!” This shows they are friends!
Make the commitment to be friends and to keep talking. Communication Is So Important In Marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will keep communicating with my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to work on areas where I am lacking
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 12:35 (MSG) A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a time out with your spouse
He Doesn’t Love When He Says These. As I said, problems don’t just show from the blues. They have always been there and would have been hinted at because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
We looked at two yesterday, let’s dive into the remaining today.
He Doesn’t Love When He Says These
3. Out of all my girlfriends, you are the best
This is often a logical way to manipulate the emotions of the lady. As a lady, I don’t really know what you are doing with someone who tells you out rightly that you are not the only one he is seeing. Are you encouraging adultery after marriage and giving him a go-ahead? Men don’t really change after marriage! When a man has the guts to tell you that he has several ladies as lovers including you, then as a lady you should have the guts to walk away from such affliction!
4. We don’t have to tell anybody about this relationship
When a guy begins to make this statement, your antenna should go up! Something is defective right there. There are no commitments when he hides the relationship from friends and family. There may be occasions when the parents are not interested in marriage and it is wise to keep quiet for some time, but at least, he should be willing to notify his pastor. What if he doesn’t have a pastor? The answer to that is another question. What are you doing with such a person?
5. I am just managing you and you should thank your stars
When a guy doesn’t love you, he will verbalize it one day, one way or the other. If you are sensitive, you can pick it up from his words. When a guy says he is just managing you, that sounds like wickedness to me. Probably the lady in question has a self-esteem issue, but as a lady, you don’t have any business with anybody that doesn’t value you or appreciate you as a person. After marriage, you don’t want to be treated as a doormat, you want to be valued as a true help.
He Doesn’t Love When He Says These
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be deceived
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me what I don’t know
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 12:34 (KJV) O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disallow your relationship to be sex driven
How To Discover He Doesn’t Love You. Problems don’t just erupt like a volcano in relationships and marriage. They have always been there. Sometimes, we simply close our eyes to all the warning signs and red lights because we are in love. It is however wise to be alert and be open to taking heed of all these warning signs.
God is not a wicked God. He will attempt to talk to you through His Holy Spirit and try to warn you about some of these things. It is always good to pay attention and try to listen to what God is trying to say! Here is How To Discover He Doesn’t Love You. It is revealed in the statements he makes! Let’s look at two of them.
1. There is nothing wrong with sex. Everybody does it
When a guy begins to pressurize you to compromise using logic and persuasion tactics, it shows he doesn’t really love you. All he wants is your body and once he gets that, anything can happen. As the lady, you have a responsibility to preserve your virtue by insisting on waiting till after marriage. A guy that truly loves you will be willing to wait as against satisfying his rush of adrenalin at your disadvantage. God’s word is so clear on pre-marital sex and any guy that loves you and fears God should be looking for ways to obey God, not the other way.
2. I may not call you or send SMS often. You have to understand.
When a guy loves you genuinely, he wants to be in touch. He wants to call, send an SMS, or chat. He just wants to stay in touch one way or the other. I know there are times he can get so busy depending on the intensity of his work or the level of attention needed, but I also believe he should be able to talk to his loved one daily, even if it is for five minutes. The only tenable reason is when he is working where there are no networks, which could be rare. Even at that, a guy who is in love will climb mountains; go to the top of buildings, and hold his phone high in the sky searching for a network!
These two statements show How To Discover He Doesn’t Love You. I will write more tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my spouse with tender loving care
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give us a tender heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Luke 1:78 (CEV) God’s love and kindness will shine upon us like the sun that rises in the sky.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray over your relationship
This Must Be Present in Every Marriage. A lot of things must be implemented for a marriage to succeed.
Conscious and deliberate inputs must be in place so the marriage can bring bliss and not blisters.
Here is one of them
Prayers. This Must Be Present in Every Marriage.
A family that prays together stays together.
A husband and wife that pray together will overcome the flesh easily.
Prayer protects, shields, and connects you to your inheritance in God.
As husband and wife, pray for one another rather than tear one another apart.
Intercede for each other.
What the devil wants is a tearing apart, do not cooperate with him.
Wake up in the middle of the night and pray together.
The power of agreement is better harnessed as a couple.
In the first few years of our marriage, my wife and I would wake up by 12.00 am and pray in the Spirit.
I am persuaded that those prayers advanced our lives and ministries.
There is a purpose for coming together in marriage.
It is not just for making love and then dying at the age of ninety.
There is a purpose in the heart of God.
That purpose is not to be decided, it is to be discovered.
When you discover that purpose, you just stepped into your wealthy place.
You can only discover in the place of prayers.
The devil will do all he knows to make sure you don’t pray.
You will notice that each time you decide to pray, something else will interrupt it. Those are not natural. The devil doesn’t want you to pray at all. Prayer-less couples will leave so many cracks and loopholes open for the devil to explore.
The devil will not access your marriage. Your marriage will be preserved in Jesus’ name!
Do not let anything interfere with your prayer times. May God help you and your spouse in Jesus’ name
Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will respect my loved one
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give us a humble heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jas 4:7 (KJV) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start praying together if you weren’t doing that
