by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Oct 20, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 4 minutes
An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind. Most men are frustrated today when it comes to understanding their spouse or spouse-to-be. Most people even believe that marriage is a necessary evil. But it is not like that in God’s word and since the scripture says no evil will befall us, God will not bring an evil institution upon us through marriage.
The devil has perverted the institution and has almost succeeded in selling the lie to the generation. You will thus find many people saying, it is better to stay unmarried. The problem with that is that such people often end up in a life of promiscuity.
A wife is not supposed to be a knife, she is supposed to be a helper. But most times, she is not fulfilled and does not have an enabling environment to be who she ought to be.
With over two decades of speaking, teaching, and writing on relationships and marriages, I have some ideas that can help you when it comes to how women think. Hundreds of young ladies, middle-aged ladies, and older ladies have spoken to me in counselling scenarios. Most of them would weep profusely as they narrate their ordeals. When guys call me, they are usually trying to find out how to choose a good lady, but when ladies call me, they are trying to get healed and get broken hearts mended. This however does not mean that men are incapable of experiencing broken hearts.
So, this morning, I want to take you by the hand, and let’s go on an excursion into the mind of a lady.
What do they think? What do they want? Why is she always moody? Why is she happy at this moment and then the next she is depressed? Why is she disinterested in sex sometimes? Why does she like to buy things? I can go on and on and there are so many questions. Let’s Take An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind.
She is deeply emotional
Now, that is just plain difficult for guys to understand because again, you are trying to process emotionalism with logic. A lady is emotional, but a man is logical.
That are two different worlds.
Let me give you an example.
A couple is driving home after church service in their beautiful car when they suddenly sighted a young girl who appears homeless. This is a likely conversation that might ensue.
Wife: Oh Jesus, look at that little cutie. What is she doing on the road?
Husband: What is she doing? Obviously, she is homeless.
Wife: Can we take her home?
Husband: Take her home? Just like that?
Wife: But she is homeless and she needs help
Husband: So I should just park like that and ask her to hop into the car?
Wife: At least, let’s park and help her first
Husband: I am not parking. I don’t know her.
Wife: You are heartless
Husband: But I am not stupid
Wife: You are heartless. That is how you deal with me as well.
Husband: Why do you always like to pick up fights with me? What is your business with that child?
Wife: And you are coming from church. Is that what you are being taught?
Husband: What has church got to do with this for God’s sake? Why are you just difficult?
Wife: It is you that is wicked
Husband: (tunes in to car radio)
Wife: (Sobbing) That is how you always ignore me.
That is how a simple event can escalate and get the couple on edge because she is an emotional being.
What this means is that a guy and a lady will never think the same way, will never see things the same way, and will never say them the same way. They are thinking from different sides of the brain.
In courtship scenarios, the following type of conversation can ensue:
Guy: (Calls his fiancée who lives in another state) Hey, Baby, how are you doing?
Lady: (Answers unhappily) I am fine
Guy: What’s wrong? You don’t sound good
Lady: Are you just noticing?
Guy: But I just called now! There you go again. What is wrong this time?
Lady: Nothing
Guy: How can you say “nothing?”
Lady: Nothing
Guy: Ok, I will call you later
Lady: So, you want to hang up the phone?
Guy: But you said there is nothing?
Lady: I have always known you don’t love me!
Guy: Baby, I love you
Lady: If you love me, you would have called me yesterday
Guy: But I told you that I would be in class throughout yesterday
Lady: Whatever happened to SMS and chats?
Guy: I told you my phone would be with a repairer
Lady” Why can’t you borrow a phone? Am I not important to you?
Guy: Oh God. You just feel like picking a quarrel. So that’s the issue?
Lady: Yes
Guy: Ok, I am sorry
Lady: You are always sorry. Every time, you are sorry.
Guy: What do you want from me? So what do you want now?
Lady: Nothing
And they can go and on without any meaningful conclusion.
This is An Excursion Into A Lady’s Mind
The first thing I will like you to know this morning is that guys and ladies think differently. So, in a relationship or marriage, you don’t set out to win an argument, you simply try to understand each other.
Something that is insignificant to you can be a passionate issue for her and you need to deal with her with a lot of understanding. She is not logical, which sometimes makes her use too many words, but you need to know that she is intuitive.
CONFESSION
I will live with understanding
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, teach me by your Holy Spirit in my areas of ignorance
BIBLE
Acts 4
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Oct 19, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 2 minutes
How To Build Up Your Self-Esteem. Low self-esteem has driven many into sexual promiscuity. They really want somebody to affirm them. Such people must be in a relationship overtime because they feel incomplete without a boyfriend or girlfriend. But you see, you cannot get from a man what is designed to come from God and His word.
Let’s find out How To Build Up Your Self-Esteem. It is a “self” thing.
In building up your self-esteem, the first thing I will like you to note is that it is a “self-issue!” That is why it is called “self-esteem!” It is not lecturer esteem or father esteem or boyfriend esteem. It is self-esteem. In having good self-esteem, you are not to seek it from anybody, you can only build it by yourself by giving yourself to study of God’s word which will then strengthen you from within.
“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” (Psa 139:13-14, KJV)
When you go into a relationship or get married for the sole purpose of building your esteem, it usually would not work out because you would eventually be disappointed. Why is that? It is not a job for man, it is a job for your God.
So it is called self-esteem because nobody can study God’s word for you. You have to do it yourself. It is called self-esteem because you are supposed to build up your personal prayer life instead of looking around for some prophets who will end up deceiving you.
It is not siblings’ esteem, not uncle esteem and definitely, it is not pastor esteem. Self-discovery and purpose discovery are personal journeys you must embark on. When you discover God’s purpose for your life, it will stabilize your emotions and you will not be driven to and fro by the storms and winds of life. When you know God’s plan for your marriage, you will not even consider it when a married man comes around telling you all kinds of lies.
When you have good self-esteem, you will not be persuaded intoner marital sex by guys who are only looking for fun. Now listen to this, you will never be able to build up your self-esteem through sex. That is not what your body is designed to do. Your body is not meant to be used as a weapon to get what you want. Don’t reduce what God calls His temple to what is cheaply available to all and sundry. Raise your shoulder and embrace the dignity with which you are created.
On the contrary, sex offers you a quick temporary feeling of being loved, but the feeling quickly disappears because feelings are fickle. After you are done, you find yourself back in the deep gully of low self-esteem. You then need to offer your body more to get some love and affirmation, but it will always end in frustration because that is not what God designed you for.
For married people, a lot of other issues can spring up from a spouse dealing with low self-esteem. It can be constant irritability when corrected. It can be communication issues. It can be unnecessary inhibitions in the bedroom, and so on and so forth.
Decide to deliberately build your esteem through God’s word, serving Him, purpose discovery, and living that purpose.
Confession
I am God’s child, I am royalty
Bible
Acts 3
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Oct 18, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 3 minutes
5 Ways Doubt Can Cause Havoc
In 1996, I proposed and my wife said Yes. We were campus sweethearts. She would always tell me that she said ‘Yes’ in faith! Can you imagine? Is it that I am not fine ni? Today we both laugh over that statement and of course, trust me, I would say, I also proposed in hope since faith and hope work together! Lobatan!
Exercising faith in your relationship and marriage is very important. Faith in God, His word, in the man you are saying Yes to, and in yourself that all will be well.
Doubt and worry are the devil’s attempts and attacks on our minds to steal God’s will and God’s best from us.
What are the 5 Ways Doubt Can Cause Havoc?
1. It can lead to confusion.
Marriage is a faith institution. Its foundation cannot be anything apart from faith. When you doubt, you become unsure of what exactly you are to do. God never configured us to function outside of His leading. An attempt to do so will only lead to confusion. I pray for you this morning, confusion will not be your portion in Jesus’ name
2. It can lead to considerations of alternatives and other options
There will always be alternatives. But the question should be, where will the other alternatives lead you to? That’s when other ladies and guys will look more attractive than God’s best for you. It’s all about your purpose. This singular knowledge will keep you contented. I pray for you this morning, you will not be sidetracked from God’s purpose.
In marriage, there are no more options for you. Simply concentrate on the one you have chosen, and get blessed there.
3. It can make you be double-minded
When you are in doubt, you are double-minded and like the Bible says, a double-minded man cannot receive anything from the Lord. It becomes difficult for God to bless your relationship when you are still in doubt. Today, you are convinced, tomorrow you are no longer sure. Every doubt in your heart is terminated in Jesus’ name.
In marriage, that assurance is needed to keep you standing when the marital wind and storms show up.
4. It can tamper with your focus
Focus is very essential in building a successful relationship and marriage. God really blessed us with a lot of focus while in courtship. We were focused on making things right and doing things God’s way. We laugh now, but more of being grateful to God when we look back and see that we spent most of our courtship time praying and preparing for what God will have us do in the future.
You will not be distracted in Jesus’ name
5. It can take genuine love from your relationship.
Pure, genuine love will have no room to entertain doubt and worry. Love needs to grow in an atmosphere of certainty, clarity of purpose, oneness, and single-mindedness. Fear has torment but perfect love cast out fear. Once you are in doubt and unbelief, you cannot even attract God’s help because you don’t trust him enough to be sure He will take care of you. You will be reluctant to give your full commitment. For a successful relationship, a hundred percent of your heart and commitment are needed. These are the 5 Ways Doubt Can Cause Havoc
May God help us in Jesus’ Name. May His word take root in our hearts to build strong faith in our God.
CONFESSION
I will not succumb to worry and doubt in my life
PRAYER
Lord, teach me to rely on you and put my trust in you in Jesus name
BIBLE
Acts 2
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Oct 17, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Don’t Just Give Up Yet! This morning, God asked me to tell you; Don’t Just Give Up Yet
Why should I wait a little bit more, Pastor?
1. I have been living right and nothing is happening! I am tired.
By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God. (Hebrews 11:5 KJV)
There is translation and relocation, coming your way. No, you won’t die; you will have victory. What can we learn from Enoch? He pleased God. You cannot please God and then be pissed at the end. He walked with God and he was no more experiencing the failures and the disappointments of this world.
Stay with God, walk with God and decide to please Him, in a moment of time, like a twinkling of an eye, He will turn your captivity around. I see a transformation wherein you will be as one that is dreaming; I see a testimony on your way, which will fill your mouth with laughter.
Single or married, decide to walk with God. Start your day by talking to Him. Spend time worshiping Him and you will see His glory in your life!
Don’t Just Give Up Yet
2. I don’t have a clue about what God wants to do, I have been obeying Him and I am discouraged
By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. (Hebrews 11:8 KJV)
Stay in obedience. If you can stay in obedience even when it doesn’t make sense, you will have victory. Do you know that God doesn’t make sense? Rather than question His instructions, simply obey Him! Too much analysis can lead to paralysis. Just obey. When He asks you to give, just give because He has a harvest in mind. When He asks you to move without giving you a destination, just move first. When He asks you to start a ministry or a business, just start because until you start, you will not provoke the supply.
Abraham went out, not knowing wither He went. That has been the story of my life and this ministry, I don’t care what people think, I care what God is saying. When you listen too much to people, your dreams will be ruptured.
Don’t Just Give Up Yet
3. Time is going and I am getting frustrated.
Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. (Hebrews 11:11 KJV)
She judged God faithful. She called God faithful. It looked impossible, but she hung on the rope of God’s faithfulness. God will never be late, yes, there might have been a delay, but there will never be a denial.
This morning, I pray over you, receive strength to conceive. You are not barren, you have the eggs right there in your womb, this morning, receive the word of God as seed to fertilize your dreams and vision, and let there be a conception.
Your dream of a good marriage; a handsome godly husband, receive strength now, to conceive, by God’s word coming your way this morning.
Your dream of a good wife, a beautiful anointed helper meet, receive strength right now to conceive and let there be conception.
Your dream of carrying your own baby in your hands, receive strength in your inner man this morning and let there be conception in Jesus’ name.
You see in times when there are fertility issues, low sperm count issues, womb anomalies, and tube block issues, you simply allow the Almighty to overshadow you as He did for Mary, it was the seed of the word that caused conception. As God’s word comes to you this morning, I declare every biological anomaly in your body to be corrected and made ready for conception in Jesus’ name!
I remember the lady that called me from Qatar, who has gone to see her husband. She is returning to Nigeria and she wanted to get pregnant because she doesn’t know when she would see her husband next but nothing was happening. She called and I said some simple prayers over the phone. Did God do it? She conceived.
I remember the lady that called from the UK who was having conception issues. I prayed for her and God honoured His word.
What about the lady I prayed for in Ibadan, she was my classmate in Masters Degree programme in University of Ibadan in 2005. She wanted to conceive because she had only one daughter and no more. I remember she wept as I prayed for her. Fast forward a few years, and she wanted me to reverse the prayers because God has added two more in quick successions! Receive strength to conceive this morning in Jesus’ name! Lay your hands on your belly, whether it be the fruit of the womb, or the reality of your vision, and pray in the spirit.
CONFESSION
I will not give up on God
PRAYER
Lord, I receive strength to conceive today in Jesus name
BIBLE
Acts 1
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Oct 16, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 2 minutes
5 Truths Single And Married Should Know
1. God knows what He is doing
God knows what He is doing about your life and in your life and He is not confused. If you are single and you are worried about who your spouse is, well, your spouse is somewhere right now. Be patient, be focused, and trust God as a father that He will lead you and guide you.
Never ever allow the devil to push you into a corner and tell you that something is wrong with you. All you should do is trust God, and you will rejoice in the end. Don’t compare yourself with others; we all have different timetables. The fact that somebody arrived before you does not mean the person is more favoured, there are times and seasons and your prayer should be, Lord, help me to be sensitive to your leading at all times.
If you are already married and you are not happy in your marriage, talk to God about it. God has a way of bringing succor to every storm of life. He knows what the situation is in your marriage. He knows exactly the solution to any imbroglio. Get close to Him and talk to Him.
2. Don’t stop reading God’s word
You know what? That word of God is your life. Don’t joke with it. Don’t play with it. Stay with it and believe it. Embrace it and meditate on it. The word of God is anointed of itself and by itself to come to pass. Whatever you are passing through right now, the answer is in God’s word. There is no special Bible for singles and another for married. In the Bible is encapsulated everything thing you will ever need in life. Your spouse, your children, and your prosperity are right inside that word.
3. Sin and compromise will slow you down
Stay away from all compromise. If you are single, don’t slow yourself down through compromise. The pressure is mounting daily but you must learn to put your body under and remain disciplined. The scripture says that sin shall not have dominion over us. The pressures in this generation will not be an excuse for any character defect.
Married Couples focus on your spouse and spouse only. Stay away from all compromises!
4. There is a place for mercy and His grace
If you have made mistakes, don’t condemn yourself because God does not condemn you. What He wants from you is repentance and if you run to him at such times, He will cleanse and restore you. Psalm 23 says, He restoreth my soul. I pray for you this morning, every area of your life that has been tampered with, let there be restoration now!
5. Don’t stop giving
If you will break the back of poverty and lack in your life, you have to give. You have to be delivered from greed and you have to stop being materialistic. True wealth from God will always include sowing seed consistently!
These are the 5 Truths Single And Married Should Know. May God give you more understanding.
PRAYER
Lord, help me to stay sensitive to your leading
CONFESSION
I am not confused. God’s greatness lies in me. He has a plan for me. That plan will come to pass
BIBLE
John 19
