How To End Quarrels And Bitterness. Ade and sally’s relationship was riddled with unending quarrels. They practically fought all through their courtship days. They hoped it would stop after the wedding, but alas, it intensified. They were both churchgoers, perceived as children of God, but filled with bitterness.
Somehow, they hoped things would change as each of them maintained their stances. They both had points to prove but nothing changed.
The reality is that wedding changes nobody. If you fight frequently during your courtship, you would most likely continue the quarrel party after the wedding.
Frequent quarrels should not be ignored or seen as normal as singles. Pay attention to it and seek help.
Yes, there will be friction that comes from male-female differences and temperamental differences, but there has to be a way of resolving those differences and forgiving each other as quickly as you can.
Bitterness in your relationship and marriage will slow you down, It will defile you and defile everybody around you.
It will create loopholes for the devil to exploit and create cracks that will be expanded.
How To End Quarrels And Bitterness
Heb 12:15 (KJV) Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
Can you see that? It will cause grace to fail, it will trouble you and defile many others!
Bitterness is a no no!
Bitterness is defined as “anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment”
It includes extreme hatred and wickedness.
Now you don’t need this in your marriage! You can see that it is a tool in the hands of devil.
You are in courtship, you have not been calling each other and yet you want to get married? What’s that?
You are married and you sustain animosity for months at a time! Eh! You are not only going to ground your prayers, but you are also going to stop financial flow!
What has your spouse done! You must forgive, or a lot of things will simply be slowed down!
In your marriage, you should work at it! Both of you. Don’t just look on till it degenerates to a point you won’t like and thing get stagnant and messy! This is How To End Quarrels And Bitterness
Seek help. Seek counsel!
I pray God will grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I will not be bitter. I forgive easily
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I destroy the spirit behind incessant quarrels in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 12:15 (AMPC) Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it-
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY End all bitterness and forgive
Why Apostle Paul Said You Should Not Marry. Did Apostle Paul actually say this? Yes, he did. He was actually asking the singles to stay single if they can and the married to stay married and not contemplate separation or divorce. Why would Apostle Paul say this?
Let’s look at the context in which he said this.
1Co 7:27 (MSG) Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married.
Now, I already know all the singles here want to get married, so that is not my subject of contemplation this morning.
The point I am trying to make is found in the next verse:
Why Apostle Paul Said You Should Not Marry 1Co 7:28 (MSG) But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.
Did you see that phrase?
All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time!
Wow! Is there really additional stress that comes with marriage?
Well, the reality is that it is true!
Since you want to get married, (otherwise, you wouldn’t be on the Kisses and Huggs Club site, lol) what we should focus on is finding out what this stress is and how to manage the stress
The stress is what comes as a result of temperamental differences, man-woman differences, the needs of men versus the needs of women, and so on and so forth. This is Why Apostle Paul Said You Should Not Marry
And you know what, these differences can be very overwhelming and have led to separation and divorce in some couples. This additional stress can make you do what you don’t intend to do!
This additional stress comes when you refuse to learn the ropes. They come when you are not accountable to anyone in marriage. They come when you are unloving and not submissive. They come when you are trying to prove points in marriage. They come when you don’t understand that marriage is not a place to demand your rights, but a place to please your spouse after pleasing God. They come when you won’t love your wife the way the Bible recommended, and when you won’t submit to your husband the way the Bible advocated.
Prepare yourselves singles. Read all you can read. Go for wisdom. Work on your character. Develop a strong relationship with God. How do you relate with your roommates or colleagues at work now? Are they complaining about specific attitudes? That is what your future spouse would likely complain about after “eyes don clear!” Don’t ever go into marriage without proper Marriage Counseling! That you say apart is no longer an excuse, there are online Pre-Wedding Counseling that is comprehensive enough to give you a head start.
Married couples? Don’t be stressed out. Enjoy the wife of your youth. Make up your mind not to lose your joy! Treat one another tenderly. TLC – Tender Loving Care! Invest in your marriage. Go for Marriage Therapy when things are going South! When things are not working, don’t ignore or look on, or they will get worse, don’t just pray alone, learn, read, research, and go for Professional Therapy if need be!
May God bless your relationship and marriage!
I pray God will help you indeed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will follow God’s leading for my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me into your marital plan for me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Co 7:27 (TPT) If you are married, stay in the marriage. If you are single, don’t rush into marriage.
The Drawer of Relationship and Marriage. Back then in our University days, we had to go and fetch water some five houses away when our water tank got depleted. We would usually use a water drawer, which could be scarce in those days.
Without the drawer, you are on your own. The one with the drawer was always the champion.
When you are the one that owns the drawer, you simply guard it jealously, because some fellows can be careless and break the drawer, spoil the rope and it would start leaking and all.
I want to teach you this morning how not to spoil your drawer! What is The Drawer of Relationship and Marriage?
Salvation is more than being saved from sin. The word salvation is “Yeshua” in Hebrews and it means deliverance, welfare, prosperity, salvation, victory (in relationship and marriage) and more.
Think of Salvation as well. Think of drawing protection, life, deliverance, health, prosperity, and more from that well.
What is The Drawer of Relationship and Marriage? How do I ensure my drawer is not spoiled so I can fetch good relationships, courtship, and marriage?
Here it is!
Isa 12:3 (KJV) Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.
With joy! Joy is The Drawer of Relationship and Marriage!
No wonder the devil attacks your joy! No wonder your exuberance is always in contention!
Yorubas call Drawer “Doro!” Hey, don’t come and spoil my Doro!
When that guy starts disturbing you as a single for sex, he wants to spoil your drawer! Because afterward, you are going to be filled with guilt, lose your joy, and can’t fetch anything!
Husbands and wives, those little altercations that you allow to degenerate into strife and bickering, you are spoiling your drawer!
Guard your joy! Protect your Doro.
Leave my drawer alone!
It is not every quarrel you respond to. It is not every right you contend for. Go for peace and apologize quickly so you can fetch all you need out of that well per time!
Envy, jealousy, gossip, strife, bitterness, unforgiving spirit, animosity, and the like will spoil your drawer.
Avoiding them like a plague is simply how not to spoil your drawer!
Know this and know peace!
Good morning!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I keep my joy intact
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 12:3 (MSG) Joyfully you’ll pull up buckets of water from the wells of salvation.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY End all strife and bickering
The Rock And Hole of Marriage. The ubiety of duality cuts across the landscape of human endeavors. Life has a way of dishing it out in twos. Man and woman. Boy and girl. Husband and wife. Heaven and earth. Light and darkness. Life and death. I could go on and on.
In the same vein, there are two coordinates I want to establish this morning with their significance and application.
The Rock And Hole of Marriage.
Let’s take a look at scripture.
Isa 51:1 (KJV) Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the LORD: look unto the rock whence ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit whence ye are digged.
We are exhorted to look at two things; the rock and the hole.
In our relationship or marriages, you are dealing with two dimensions in your spouse or lover if you are not yet wedded.
Your spouse or lover is a product of rock and hole.
The rock is that which you look up to. The scripture says that rock is Christ.
Look unto Jesus, constantly and continuously beholding His word.
In your relationship or marriage, that rock must be your motivation, allowing it to draw you and pull you closer to God. The closer you and your spouse or lover yield to that rock, the more you experience God, and the more you are established as a rock.
But then, we are told to look at the hole as well. The hole from which we are dug.
The hole represents that past where you came from. The mess from which your message emanated. The hole is that which you were delivered from. It is the snare that has been broken, and from which your soul has escaped. It is the past bondage that held you by the jugular, that the power of Christ, the rock pulled you from.
Why look at the hole? I can understand looking at the rock, it’s positive, and it presents a picture of progress. But the hole?
Well, looking at the hole is to usher you into perpetual gratitude, to have an overwhelming heart of thanksgiving to God for where he dug you from.
You could have died in that hole, but He brought you out and made you whole! Glory to God.
Looking unto the rock keeps you fired up and productive. Looking unto the hole keeps you humble and filled with thanksgiving.
These two dimensions, when engaged, keep you in your marriage and relationship. The Rock And Hole of Marriage.
May God grant you more understanding.
Have a great Sunday and be blessed.
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CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I look to the rock constantly
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, establish me upon the rock
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 51:1 (MSG) “Listen to me, all you who are serious about right living and committed to seeking GOD. Ponder the rock from which you were cut, the quarry from which you were dug.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Thank God for digging you out of the hole
Kisses of Enemies And Wounds Of Friends. Ade met Sally and professed his love. He was all over her. Six months later, Sally was heartbroken. Ade became her enemy. There have been several kisses, but they were kisses of an enemy.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have married two years ago. Mr. Johnson had a bad habit that only his wife knows. His wife was on his case, until he began to make changes. His ego was bruised, and his pride was punctured, but he got better. He was wounded, but they were wounds of a friend.
The scripture is filled with God’s wisdom. There is enough wisdom in God’s word such that, if followed, crises in relationships and marriages will be minimized.
Let’s take a look at the scripture
Pro 27:6 (KJV) Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
There is an obvious contradiction in the verse above. I would have understood if the Bible says “The kisses of a friend and the wounds of an enemy. But the scripture says “Wounds of a friend and the kisses of an enemy.”
The friend comes with wounds. The enemy comes with kisses. Kisses of Enemies And Wounds Of Friends
Your lover or spouse will often come with wounds, yet he meant well. Corrections and confrontations will burst you ego, will dissolve your pride and will challenge your weakness zone! You will feel wounded either in courtship or marriage because that which you are used to is being unsettled.
Never refuse instructions from your spouse because your spouse knows you in and out.
Pro 15:32 (KJV) He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.
Get ready to be wounded by those who love you! The one decorating you with kisses only is actually an enemy! The one that doesn’t correct you and tells you what you want to hear all the time is an enemy.
True love can be tough. God chastises those He loves! It pleased God for Jesus to be wounded so that we might be saved. It took a kiss from Judas for Jesus to be betrayed.
A kiss came from the devil because the Bible says Satan entered Judas. But a wound came from God to Jesus. He was wounded for our transgressions!
Your friend is a “wounder” and your enemy is a “kisser! Know this and know peace!
When you understand these dynamics, you will know that your spouse is not an enemy, the one who is not your spouse but is taking advantage and telling you stuff is actually an enemy! This is where we will stop on Kisses of Enemies And Wounds Of Friends. May God grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not cooperate with my enemy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask God to show you the motives of people around you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 15:32 (MSG) An undisciplined, self-willed life is puny; an obedient, God-willed life is spacious.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Appreciate those who correct you
