Pastor Sophia and I did this yesterday via YouTube. Did you miss it?
Find it below and enjoy the lessons, the laughter, and the conversation!
Every single in courtship should intently discuss this – Why do you want to marry me? A sincere in-depth discussion will bring to the fore a lot of revelation and let you be able to to discover a lot about the decision you are about to make.
Interestingly, many couples get “shocked” after the wedding because they discover many things after that!
This is what happens when the relationship gets sexual as singles and obscures the most important things that should be discussed.
Singles in courtship are distracted with outings, sex, fun, and other things that are not important.
Newlyweds and those who have been married for a while should also sit down from time to time to do this – What did you marry me?
It’s a good experience because it is a re-enactment of the core reasons you are together. And in case, distractions are coming in, which is usually the case, the needed rejuvenation can happen as powerful words are uttered to one another.
After all, the wedding day was all about words!
Thank God for the guests, the Aso-Ebi, the food, the reception, the parties, the gold hand rings, the several vendors contracted…but what joined the couple together were the words! Either in court or church, words were exchanged. Vows were made and after the vows, you became husband and wife. It was all about words!
If words bring you together, good words uttered in sincerity to one another will also sustain your relationship.
The course of a thing is also the sustainer of that thing. Sit down and talk!
Singles should ask one another, “Why do you want to marry me?”
Couples should ask from time to time, “Why did you marry me?”
Reproach comes at different times and different seasons.
I want to show you a scripture I discovered this morning and this will surely bless you a great deal.
What do you do when you are being reproached? What should be your line of action when people are laughing at you? It is one thing for people to laugh at you behind you and you are unaware, but it’s a different ball game when people reproach you to your very face and talk in a demeaning way about you and your God.
What do you do?
Let’s take a look at the scripture.
Psa 119:41-42 (KJV). Let thy mercies come also unto me, O LORD, even thy salvation, according to thy word. [42] So shall I have wherewith to answer him that reproacheth me: for I trust in thy word.
How I so much love this scripture!
Let me paraphrase! Let your mercy come to me so that mercy can respond to those who reproach me!
Wow!
God is saying that the panacea to that reproach in your life is mercy!
Reproach as a single or even as a couple, you don’t even need to respond to them! What will respond is mercy!
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Psa 119:41-42 (MSG) Let your love, GOD, shape my life with salvation, exactly as you promised; [42] Then I’ll be able to stand up to mockery because I trusted your Word.
You don’t need to respond to reproach or mockery all by yourself!
What will respond with a blessing, a miracle, an incredible result is Mercy!
Ask for God’s mercy this morning!
And keep asking every day and every time.
It’s one prayer you should not stop praying all your life!
Mercy!
God’s mercy will speak for you today and answer every point of reproach and mockery in your life in Jesus’ name!
We are in a generation where couples must be deliberate in nurturing their love and romance. Work schedules, lifestyles, and personal choices are gradually eroding the bonding that should exist between a husband and a wife at all times.
If bonding is not worked at, things will gradually degenerate! May that never be our portion!
It is the same thing for singles in courtship. Bonding especially on an intellectual level must be achieved. Communication should be top-notch as this is the bedrock of any successful marriage. The only bonding that should not happen before a wedding is sexual bonding! I believe singles already know this!
One of the ways to bond together is by playing together!
Playing together as a couple is a natural way to eliminate the unnecessary stress that comes with raising a family! Don’t take playfulness out of your marriage!
This is one thing I still do till tomorrow. I play a lot with my wife! It’s a good way to bond!
Another thing that being playful together as a couple does is that it creates shared memories which leads to deeper emotional connection!
Conversely, quarreling all the time and engaging in unending bickering will tear you apart emotionally till you are irritated at each other. It even gets more intense and hatred comes in.
How do you move from loving someone so much to hating that person so much?
Carelessness in not nurturing your marriage can result in this!
If playfulness is absent in your marriage, then start by scheduling it. An example is a playful dance session. Another one is a gentle pillow fight!
Let me warn you ahead of time that one spouse will not usually like this idea as one is always serious while the other is playful. But you must keep at it.
Genuinely invest in joy in your home. Play together. And enjoy yourself, and of course, this will lead to a better intimacy between the two of you!
Alright, we have been looking at couple combinations in the past few days!
We are looking at a peculiar combination today! We know that opposites attract, but with a few exceptions, we often have couples of the same temperament and tendencies getting married.
This is why we are looking at these combinations to know how couples can manage themselves.
A quiet husband and a quiet wife! Wow!
Their marriage will be a peaceful one, at least in a general sense, but this does not mean there won’t be underlying conflicts and tantrums.
Both of them are not vocal, so there is a high tenacity that they bottle things up, go through the motions to avoid issues and never tell themselves the truth.
They will usually be of the phlegmatic temperament and whatever they lack in utterance, they will compensate with their stubborn stances.
They are usually unyielding and their stubbornness is their coping mechanism for those who want to take advantage of them.
Their home will likely be boring because they are not outgoing and they don’t do well in making too many friends.
What must they do?
They have to learn to go against their basic temperamental tendencies to bring some balance into their home and marriage.
They also have to learn to be expressive and not just bottle everything up in a bid to avoid conflict and quarrels.
They must work on their sense of humour because phlegmatics can have a biting, dry, humorous sense.
Their pursuit of dreams and goals will need to be supercharged constantly because their temperaments are those of procrastination.
They also have to learn to encourage and motivate one another because phlegmatics generally lack inner motivation.
That said, they will generally have a peaceful but uneventful lifestyle that comes naturally!
Here is the second part of this couple combination.
A vocal husband, vocal wife combination will need a lot of wisdom and tact to survive in their marriage. If they don’t manage their personalities well, a crash is imminent.
Here are a few areas they need to work on.
Their anger.
I gave an example of Simeon and Levi yesterday! Their sister was raped in a particular city and because of that, they got angry and wiped off a whole city of all males and cattle!
Why did they go to that extent? They were two angry brothers. Their anger was referred to as instruments of cruelty. They went to that extent because both of them were angry at the same time!
Now, a vocal husband and a vocal wife cannot afford to be angry simultaneously! The house will be in flames!
No wonder the scripture even warned against getting married to a person who has uncontrollable anger issues.
Pro 22:24 (KJV) Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
Let’s take a look at some other translations.
Pro 22:24 (GNB) Don’t make friends with people who have hot, violent tempers.
Pro 22:24 (MSG) Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads.
Pro 22:24 (GW) Do not be a friend of one who has a bad temper, and never keep company with a hothead,
You will be amazed at why the scripture advises against befriending an angry person.
Pro 22:25 (KJV) Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.
Wow!
Even if you were not given to anger before, moving closely with an angry person can initiate you into that anger cult!
Pro 22:25 (MSG) Bad temper is contagious— don’t get infected.
It is contagious!
In conclusion, a vocal husband, and a vocal wife must make up their minds to stay away from anger!
