Janet: So… what are you wearing tonight for your date?
Liz: I’m thinking of that red dress Stephen got me last month. It should work.
Janet: Wait, Stephen? You’ve left him already? I thought you said he was the right person.
Liz:Correction. I didn’t leave him. We’re still in the talking stage.
Janet: Talking stage? Liz, it’s been six months. Are you guys stammering or what?
Liz: laughs. He’s sweet, but… he’s not really my type.
Janet:sighs. I honestly don’t get you sometimes. Stephen’s the fifth “serious” guy I’ve seen around you lately. And now you’re going on a date with someone new?
Liz: That’s why it’s called a date. To figure people out and get to know them.
Janet: Really? Because at this rate, it feels like you still haven’t figured out Jude, Taiwo, Peter, Osas… or Stephen. Honestly, I feel like I need a date with you to understand what’s going on.
Liz: Don’t be dramatic. Jude was too soft. Remember when that bike guy yelled at me? Jude apologized to him.
Janet: He told me you were rude to the guy.
Liz: Even if I was, he could’ve backed me up in the moment and addressed it later. You stand up for me publicly, then correct me privately. I need someone who’s got my back publicly.
Janet: Huh. So I guess Peter’s more your vibe then?
Liz:rolls eyes. peter? He tries too hard. Everything feels like a performance.
Janet: Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do- try?
Liz: Sure, but there’s trying… and then there’s being over-the-top. I want a guy who knows when to show up and when to chill.
Janet:[looking genuinely puzzled]
Liz: Aren’t you gonna ask about Osas and Taiwo?
Janet: Nope. I already know you ghosted them. I’m not even mad, just… I hope things work out with Stephen.
Liz:smiles softly. Thanks.
Janet: But let me say this, girl, you really need to figure out what you want for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll keep bouncing from guy to guy, looking for something that’s not lost in the name of looking for the right person.
Liz:groans playfully. There she goes again with the life coaching.
Janet: I’m just saying. Six guys and counting in under two years? At some point, you’ve gotta ask: maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s… you.
Liz: I know what I want in a man.
Janet: Okay, but do you know what you want in yourself?
Liz: So… what’s the moral of this little intervention, Dr. Janet?
Janet:laughs. It’s not an intervention. Just girl talk with a sprinkle of truth.
Liz: More like a bucketful.
Janet: Look, dating’s not a crime. Neither is exploring your options. But at some point, you’ve got to stop collecting names and start collecting lessons.
Liz: Oof. That one hit.
Janet: I’m serious. The real glow-up is self-awareness.
Liz: So you’re saying I should take myself on a date first?
Janet: Exactly. Figure out what you want from you; peace, growth, stability, and the right person won’t feel like a puzzle piece you’re forcing to fit.
Liz: So basically, know yourself, show up honestly, and don’t stop growing?
Janet: Now that’s the real red dress energy.
Liz:laughs. Okay, okay. Fine. Maybe I’ll start with dinner… with myself.
Whether you are single or married, life can sometimes feel solo. The reality, however, is that God never designed us to do life alone. When he made Adam, he said it is not good for man to be alone, because he knew the power in partnership. He knew the strength available when you are joined with the right person.
That is why Solomon said;
Ecclesiastes 4:9 (KJV) “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.”
When a man and a woman are going in the same direction, they tend to move faster. However, who you are going with matters a lot. The fact that someone is available does not mean they are compatible, which is why a lot of care should be given in considering who you journey with.
According to the scripture above, it is not just about having a reward, but a good reward, which is where fulfilment comes from.
The bible says if you are joined with Christ, you are one with him. Likewise, you become one with whoever you are joined with physically. So, before you agree to walk down the aisle, are you ready to be one with him or her? Do you see you both fulfilling purpose together? Is this person helping me walk towards God’s plan for my life? If you don’t see it now, you are not likely to see it in marriage.
And if you are already married, are you both moving in the same direction? Are you building together? Is what you are doing likely to give you a good reward? If your answers are in the affirmative, ask yourself: How can I be a better partner to my spouse?
May God help you to be joined with the right person.
I want to take a moment to speak to the women this morning.
A woman often senses who her husband is before the man even realizes it himself. It’s part of how God made them. Women are naturally intuitive. There’s a knowing deep within, long before anything is said or done. But even with that inner knowing, it’s not her place to take the lead or make the first move.
On Kisses and Huggs Club, we do not advocate a woman asking a man out, no matter how convinced you are. You can position yourself, present yourself, but not ask out.
This is because God is a God of order, and that order has purpose. When we step outside of it, confusion tends to follow. The man is designed to pursue; the woman is meant to respond.
Genesis 2:23 (ISV): So the man exclaimed, ‘At last! This is bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. This one will be called “Woman,” because she was taken from Man.’
The first wisdom here is that it was the man who exclaimed. The man who spoke up. Not the woman. Notice that God didn’t even say anything at that moment. He left it all to the man to recognize what was before him and to respond accordingly.
The second wisdom here is that as soon as Adam saw Eve, he spoke. A man who’s serious about you won’t leave you guessing. He’ll be clear from the beginning. So if you’ve been spending time with a man for a while, and he still hasn’t made his intentions known, it’s worth paying attention to that.
He’s been around, but not stepping forward? That silence speaks volumes.
The third wisdom here is this: Adam recognized Eve as his. He said, “bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.” That kind of recognition and certainty matters. The person you’re meant to spend your life with should know, without hesitation, that you’re the one.
Yes, as a woman, you need to have peace and conviction about him. But he must be just as convinced about you. If he’s not sure, how can he truly leave his father and mother and fully commit?
The truth cannot be overemphasized. Saying the truth at all times, regardless of the consequences, is a virtue that sets the foundation for lasting relationships. That is why I smile when I see people’s checklists for a marriage partner. You’ll often find: “God-fearing,” “financially stable,” “tall,” “beautiful,” “speaks in tongues,” and so on. But rarely do you find “truthful” or “trustworthy.” And yet, without truth, everything else is at risk.
Integrity is the bedrock of peace in both singleness and marriage. It’s not just about how things are today; it’s about building a life for 30, 50 years, and beyond. Truth keeps the foundation strong. Lies may seem small today, but they ripple out into the future with painful consequences.
To date, some people still don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead. Why? Because a few soldiers were paid to tell a lie
Matthew 28:12-15 [MEV] When the chief priests were assembled with the elders and had taken counsel, they gave much money to the soldiers, saying, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came by night and stole Him away while we weresleeping.’ If this comes to the governor’s ears, we will satisfy him and keep you secure.” So they took the money and did as they were instructed. And this saying has been commonly reported among the Jews to this day.
Their decision not to speak the truth has had eternal consequences for countless lives. Whenever we choose deception, no matter how “harmless” it seems, we are potentially robbing others of their peace, their trust, and even their destiny.
Whether you’re single or married, let truth be your banner. If you’re waiting for a spouse, ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes not just to beauty or charisma, but to integrity. If there’s a red flag to take seriously, it’s the inability to be truthful.
If you’re already married, let truth guide your home. Don’t allow fear or pride to choke honesty. A marriage where truth is absent is one step closer to decay, no matter how spiritually vibrant it may appear on the surface.
May Godhelp us to love the truth, speak the truth, and walk in integrity.
Several things should be considered before signing the dotted lines with anybody. I have outlined four of them, which I hope you’ll find useful.
1. Hear God.
Yes, that has to be the first thing. Make sure you hear God audibly. Make sure God is the one leading you into that marriage.
Do you know why?
Matt 7:25-27 [ESV] And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
Both houses faced the same test. Whether you heard God or you heard yourself, there would be challenges. If you are sure God led you to the relationship or marriage, you can navigate those challenges together.
And if you are married already, go back to where God spoke to you about him or her. Replay those encounters in your mind. It will shoot some adrenaline into you and give the desired energy to forge ahead.
2. Get your company involved
Everyone has a company, a group of people that share similar beliefs. Don’t do a relationship in isolation. Get them involved. Carry them along. Any relationship that aims to isolate you from your company (if it’s a good company)is a red flag.
Sometimes, we get tired of running alone. Sometimes, we need someone or some people to cheer us on. That is what your company is for.
Acts 4:23 [NKJV] And being let go, they went to their own companions and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said to them.
If you are in the wrong company, receive the strength to exit.
3. Create boundaries
Oh yes, this has to be on the list. You need to create boundaries. A relationship with no set boundaries will settle for anything, including things that don’t reflect godly purity.
You both need to sit and talk. How far can we go? Who can we allow access to our lives? When do we call it a day, by 2 am?
Even as a couple, you need to set boundaries. Who can stay over at your place? How much influence will parents have?
Don’t just assume these issues will sort themselves out. Talk about it and take a stand.
4. Have a defined goal
If you don’t define your relationship, you will abuse it. Why I’m I in a relationship with this person? What do we want to achieve in this marriage?
The cinemas and outings are good, but be sure to ask definite questions along the way.
Ask for short and long-term goals. With that, you will know if you fit or not.
Even if you heard God, the relationship still has to be defined. How long is this relationship going to last? Don’t assume it will lead to marriage; ask.
