“When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.” Isn’t that what they say?
But what if you aren’t tough enough, or not tough at all? Every human being encounters a season in life when breaking through feels impossible. Those seasons come in waves. It’s rarely just a one-time thing. Yet, in those moments of weakness and fragility, one thing remains true: we are made strong through God’s strength.
God understands exactly how you feel in your moments of frailty; the hopelessness and confusion when you’ve been believing Him for a good job, or trusting Him for the right partner. He knows, and that’s the truth.
If it weren’t true, the Bible wouldn’t highlight the weaknesses of our heroes of faith. We wouldn’t know that the man after God’s own heart made major mistakes. We wouldn’t read about how Peter was right one moment and rebuked the next. Those stories were recorded because God wanted you to know that, at the end of the day, we are all just human and we always need Him to make things right.
Hebrews 4:15 [NLT] This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.
That’s your turning point. God is always a million steps ahead. He figured it all out before you were even conceived. He sent you a Helper: the Holy Spirit. I mean, who needs help if they already have it all figured out?
So yes, it’s okay not to know what to do, because you don’t always have to. The Bible tells us not to lean on our own understanding. Why? Because even when we think we have the answers, God always knows best.
Bottom line: You need to be vulnerable before Him and always seek His face, because His strength is made perfect in your weakness, and you can always lean on Him.
Sarah, the wife of Abraham, had passed away. She had been his companion for many years through every journey, every promise, every joy, and heartache. And Abraham did what anyone would do after losing someone they love deeply: he wept. He didn’t avoid his grief. He sat in it, felt it, and honored her with his tears.
Genesis 23:2-3 – “And Sarah died in Kirjatharba; the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan: and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her. And Abraham stood up from before his dead, and spake unto the sons of Heth…”
But then, he stood up.
Not because the sorrow disappeared, or because he stopped loving her, but because life was still moving forward. There were things to be done, and a future that still held God’s promises.
And Abraham stood up from before his dead These words are a reminder that grief is real and necessary, but so is rising again. Many of us have sat too long beside the memories of what we’ve lost, whether it’s a person, a dream, or a part of ourselves.
Just like the bible says, there’s a time to mourn, and there’s also a time to rise.
Getting up doesn’t mean forgetting. It means choosing not to stay stuck. It means believing that God’s plan for your life isn’t over, even when it feels like something important is gone.
Maybe your “Sarah” was a relationship, a job, a chapter of life, a contract, or a version of yourself you miss. Whatever it is, know this: you can grieve, and you can also move forward.
Janet: So… what are you wearing tonight for your date?
Liz: I’m thinking of that red dress Stephen got me last month. It should work.
Janet: Wait, Stephen? You’ve left him already? I thought you said he was the right person.
Liz:Correction. I didn’t leave him. We’re still in the talking stage.
Janet: Talking stage? Liz, it’s been six months. Are you guys stammering or what?
Liz: laughs. He’s sweet, but… he’s not really my type.
Janet:sighs. I honestly don’t get you sometimes. Stephen’s the fifth “serious” guy I’ve seen around you lately. And now you’re going on a date with someone new?
Liz: That’s why it’s called a date. To figure people out and get to know them.
Janet: Really? Because at this rate, it feels like you still haven’t figured out Jude, Taiwo, Peter, Osas… or Stephen. Honestly, I feel like I need a date with you to understand what’s going on.
Liz: Don’t be dramatic. Jude was too soft. Remember when that bike guy yelled at me? Jude apologized to him.
Janet: He told me you were rude to the guy.
Liz: Even if I was, he could’ve backed me up in the moment and addressed it later. You stand up for me publicly, then correct me privately. I need someone who’s got my back publicly.
Janet: Huh. So I guess Peter’s more your vibe then?
Liz:rolls eyes. peter? He tries too hard. Everything feels like a performance.
Janet: Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do- try?
Liz: Sure, but there’s trying… and then there’s being over-the-top. I want a guy who knows when to show up and when to chill.
Janet:[looking genuinely puzzled]
Liz: Aren’t you gonna ask about Osas and Taiwo?
Janet: Nope. I already know you ghosted them. I’m not even mad, just… I hope things work out with Stephen.
Liz:smiles softly. Thanks.
Janet: But let me say this, girl, you really need to figure out what you want for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll keep bouncing from guy to guy, looking for something that’s not lost in the name of looking for the right person.
Liz:groans playfully. There she goes again with the life coaching.
Janet: I’m just saying. Six guys and counting in under two years? At some point, you’ve gotta ask: maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s… you.
Liz: I know what I want in a man.
Janet: Okay, but do you know what you want in yourself?
Liz: So… what’s the moral of this little intervention, Dr. Janet?
Janet:laughs. It’s not an intervention. Just girl talk with a sprinkle of truth.
Liz: More like a bucketful.
Janet: Look, dating’s not a crime. Neither is exploring your options. But at some point, you’ve got to stop collecting names and start collecting lessons.
Liz: Oof. That one hit.
Janet: I’m serious. The real glow-up is self-awareness.
Liz: So you’re saying I should take myself on a date first?
Janet: Exactly. Figure out what you want from you; peace, growth, stability, and the right person won’t feel like a puzzle piece you’re forcing to fit.
Liz: So basically, know yourself, show up honestly, and don’t stop growing?
Janet: Now that’s the real red dress energy.
Liz:laughs. Okay, okay. Fine. Maybe I’ll start with dinner… with myself.
Whether you are single or married, life can sometimes feel solo. The reality, however, is that God never designed us to do life alone. When he made Adam, he said it is not good for man to be alone, because he knew the power in partnership. He knew the strength available when you are joined with the right person.
That is why Solomon said;
Ecclesiastes 4:9 (KJV) “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.”
When a man and a woman are going in the same direction, they tend to move faster. However, who you are going with matters a lot. The fact that someone is available does not mean they are compatible, which is why a lot of care should be given in considering who you journey with.
According to the scripture above, it is not just about having a reward, but a good reward, which is where fulfilment comes from.
The bible says if you are joined with Christ, you are one with him. Likewise, you become one with whoever you are joined with physically. So, before you agree to walk down the aisle, are you ready to be one with him or her? Do you see you both fulfilling purpose together? Is this person helping me walk towards God’s plan for my life? If you don’t see it now, you are not likely to see it in marriage.
And if you are already married, are you both moving in the same direction? Are you building together? Is what you are doing likely to give you a good reward? If your answers are in the affirmative, ask yourself: How can I be a better partner to my spouse?
May God help you to be joined with the right person.
I want to take a moment to speak to the women this morning.
A woman often senses who her husband is before the man even realizes it himself. It’s part of how God made them. Women are naturally intuitive. There’s a knowing deep within, long before anything is said or done. But even with that inner knowing, it’s not her place to take the lead or make the first move.
On Kisses and Huggs Club, we do not advocate a woman asking a man out, no matter how convinced you are. You can position yourself, present yourself, but not ask out.
This is because God is a God of order, and that order has purpose. When we step outside of it, confusion tends to follow. The man is designed to pursue; the woman is meant to respond.
Genesis 2:23 (ISV): So the man exclaimed, ‘At last! This is bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. This one will be called “Woman,” because she was taken from Man.’
The first wisdom here is that it was the man who exclaimed. The man who spoke up. Not the woman. Notice that God didn’t even say anything at that moment. He left it all to the man to recognize what was before him and to respond accordingly.
The second wisdom here is that as soon as Adam saw Eve, he spoke. A man who’s serious about you won’t leave you guessing. He’ll be clear from the beginning. So if you’ve been spending time with a man for a while, and he still hasn’t made his intentions known, it’s worth paying attention to that.
He’s been around, but not stepping forward? That silence speaks volumes.
The third wisdom here is this: Adam recognized Eve as his. He said, “bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.” That kind of recognition and certainty matters. The person you’re meant to spend your life with should know, without hesitation, that you’re the one.
Yes, as a woman, you need to have peace and conviction about him. But he must be just as convinced about you. If he’s not sure, how can he truly leave his father and mother and fully commit?
