It’s not the grand gestures that keep love alive. It’s the little things.
A “How was your day?” asked with real interest.
A hand squeezed during a stressful moment.
A text that says, “I’m thinking about you.”
A back rub when no one asks for it. For couples only!
A sincere “thank you” after dinner. Couples too.
Little things.
But they matter in the equation of love.
While we are waiting for big moments to express our love, the little foxes are eating away the love, night after night.
Because love doesn’t fall apart overnight. It crumbles in the absence of the small, daily signs that say, “You still matter to me.”
And love doesn’t flourish from once-in-a-year surprises—it grows with consistent, quiet care.
Sometimes we wait for the perfect time to express love:
“I’ll take her out next month.”
“I’ll say something nice when things are less tense.”
“I’ll start being intentional when I feel more appreciated.”
But the best time is now.
More so, the grand surprises soon lose their bite/flavour in the absence of the daily small acts of love—acts that say, “I see you,” “I care about you.”
So, intentionally start working on the little, ordinary expressions of love. That may be the fix you need now.
Love is fed by the ordinary. The unplanned. The unseen.
And if you keep showing up in the small ways, the big moments will take care of themselves.
So, don’t wait for love to feel big. Make it small and meaningful—again and again.
That’s how hearts stay close. That’s how relationships last.
Hey, you. Yes, you—the one who’s tired of love talks.
Tired of hearing “wait on God.”
Tired of trying to make your marriage work.
Tired of hoping someone will choose you and stay.
Tired of feeling like love is for everyone else… except you.
Can I be honest with you? Love can be exhausting—when it’s done in your strength, when you’re doing all the bending, adjusting, forgiving, praying, and hoping… while the other person barely notices. When you feel like you’ve been faithful, but love hasn’t been kind in return.
But here’s what you need to know:
God sees you. He hasn’t forgotten. He isn’t late. And no, you’re not too broken, too difficult, or too anything to be loved right.
You were never created to chase love. You were created to carry it. To be full of it. To walk in it—with or without a ring, a title, or romantic gestures. Your value doesn’t increase because someone texts you “good morning” or posts your photo. You are loved now. Completely. Unconditionally. Eternally.
So, take a breath. Stop striving. Let God love you into wholeness before anyone else tries to hold your heart. Or before the one holding your heart (your spouse) learns to hold it well.
And when love comes, it won’t make you beg, drain, or confuse you. It will honour what God has already healed.
You’re not hard to love. You’re just waiting to be loved right.
Some people are constantly trying to earn love. They over-give, over-explain, and overcompensate—just to be seen, heard, and chosen. They do beyond what they naturally would have done simply because they want to prove they are worth loving. Maybe they grew up in a family where love wasn’t freely given—everyone worked to receive love. When you do right, you’re loved; when you make a mistake, love is withdrawn. And so that’s all they’ve known all their lives—working just to earn love. Well, here’s the truth: You were never meant to beg for what should be freely given.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 [NKJV]
You see that? Love is freely given.
For singles, if you constantly feel the need to prove your value to someone, that’s not love—it may well be a performance. Love doesn’t make you walk on eggshells. Love doesn’t manipulate you with silence or keep you in confusion. If you always feel like you’re “not enough” unless you do more, give more, or become someone else, step back and ask: Is this love or emotional slavery? You still have time to walk out of that relationship. The right person will recognise your worth without needing a presentation.
This is not a stamp of approval to remain the way you are—weakness and all. Work on being a better version of yourself, keep growing, etc., but don’t do these things simply because you are trying to buy someone’s love.
This can also creep in subtly in marriage. In such situations, you start feeling invisible—like your efforts go unnoticed, like you have to compete with work, children, or even social media just to get your spouse’s attention. And you can start feeling empty and all. But remember this: You are valuable, even when you’re unseen. And sometimes, the healing starts when you stop trying to earn love and start receiving it the way God intended—freely, confidently, and without fear.
See Romans 5:8 again: “…while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That’s love—undeserved, unearned, unconditional.
Let’s stop shrinking ourselves to fit into someone’s frail idea of love. And you absolutely don’t have to fight to be loved.
Many people enter relationships expecting “love” to fix them. They think a spouse will erase their insecurities, a partner will heal their past wounds, or marriage will suddenly make them whole. But I bring you the truth today: love (Eros) won’t heal you—only God can.
Singles, hear me: the worst thing you can do is place the weight of your happiness or wholeness on another person. If you feel empty, unloved, worthless, or broken, a relationship won’t fix it—it will only expose it. Two incomplete people don’t make a whole relationship; they make a wounded one. It is two whole people that come together to make a whole relationship.
So, instead of searching for someone to “complete” you, let God make you whole first. That way, when the right person comes, you’ll love from a place of strength, not desperation.
So, my friends, heal before you deal. Become whole before you become entangled with another. Stop being desperate for “love” as a way of completing you—search out where the insecurity is coming from and allow God to heal you.
For married couples, expecting your spouse to be your healer is quite a heavy burden. Yes, love/marriage brings comfort and support, but no human can fill the void only God was meant to fill. If you’re struggling with insecurities, past trauma, or deep emotional wounds, don’t look to your partner as the solution—bring it to God.
Come vulnerable before God and find healing. A healthy marriage isn’t about two perfect people; it’s about two surrendered people who continually allow God to shape them.
It is God who heals. It is God that binds up the broken-hearted, not any man/woman.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
Love is beautiful, yeah, but it is not a substitute for healing. So before you search for love—or while you’re already in it—ask yourself: Am I expecting a person to do what only God can? Because wholeness isn’t found in a relationship. It’s found in Him. Reach out to Him today. He’s waiting for you.
I hate to be the “killjoy” right now, but I’m just helping you. Listen. Sometimes, what we call “love” isn’t really love. It’s just a craving for attention that is being met. You’re screaming “You’re in love with so, so, and so” but it may just be you enjoying the calls, the sweet messages, and the compliments. The attention creates a mirage that makes you believe you’re in love. But my question to you is: if the attention disappears, would the love still remain? Is the love hanging on any other thing aside from the attention?
My dear singles, it’s easy to mistake affection for true connection. Someone gives you attention, and suddenly, you feel special and in love. (And the bad guys know this; so if they want to get you, they give you attention.)
But be careful, my dear—are you really in love with the person or just the way they make you feel? Attention is temporary; true love is built on character, shared values, and commitment. If you strip away the sweet words, is something real between you two? Do your values align? Do you like his/her character? Are they godly? Today, I dare you to strip off the feelings and sweet words, and see if you will find something deeper in that relationship. This is one way to know if you truly love this person or if you are just falling because of the attention you’re receiving.
And for my married couples, attention from outside your marriage can be dangerous. Very very dangerous! Extremely dangerous! A simple compliment from someone else might feel exciting, especially if things at home feel a bit dry. But don’t allow a simple moment of attention to make you forget the love and home you’ve already built. Remember your covenant. A stranger’s admiration is never worth the destruction of a covenant. Oh, I hear you say there’s nothing physical between you two. Well, it’s called an emotional affair. Even Jesus warned that you don’t need to get physical to get physical—once your emotions are entangled and lust is birthed, you’re already in it.
It’s time to flee! Instead of seeking attention elsewhere, invest that energy into your spouse—flirt with them, appreciate them, and rekindle the excitement within your own marriage.
This is a call for us all to guard our hearts, just as the bible instructs:
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23
Not every form of attention is good for you. Don’t ever mistake temporary excitement for lasting love.
Singles, don’t marry just because of attention. Couples, don’t dishonor your marital covenant simply because of attention. Real love isn’t about who makes you feel special for a moment—it’s about who stays and chooses you, every single day. Look inward and work out your marriage with fear and trembling.
