Not every connection or attraction is meant to become a relationship. Many of us rush in, driven by feelings, loneliness, or the pressure of what others expect, without stopping to carefully consider whether the person and the timing align with God’s will.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23
A relationship is more than companionship; it has the power to shape your life, your character, and your spiritual walk. Before you allow someone to take a place in your heart, here are five important things to look out for
1. Character over Charm
It is easy to be drawn to someone’s charm, but charm alone is never enough to sustain a relationship. Words, gestures, and attention can be impressive at first, yet the true measure of a person lies in their character—how they act when no one is watching, how they treat people who cannot benefit them, and how they handle difficult situations.
Someone with strong character will be honest, reliable, and consistent, even when it is inconvenient or when mistakes are made. Choosing someone with genuine character protects your heart from unnecessary pain and lays a foundation of trust that charm alone cannot provide.
2. Spiritual Alignment
Spiritual alignment goes far beyond attending the same church or believing in the same doctrines. It is about sharing similar convictions, priorities, and a mutual desire to follow God wholeheartedly.
Before you pursue a relationship, consider whether this person will encourage your growth in faith, challenge you to become more Christlike, and honor God in their own life.
A relationship without spiritual alignment may feel comfortable at first, but over time, the differences in values and priorities will create tension and conflict. When both hearts are aligned with God, the relationship has a foundation that is far stronger than attraction alone.
Sometimes the strongest message in a relationship is not what you say but what you choose not to say. Silence can be golden, but it can also be dangerous—depending on how you use it.
For singles, silence might mean learning to walk away from someone who only entertains your emotions but has no intention of committing. You know those kinds of people, right? Silence can also mean choosing not to argue endlessly with someone who clearly doesn’t share your values. It’s guarding your peace instead of wasting words on someone who doesn’t listen.
For married couples, silence can be a tool or a weapon. It is a tool when you hold your tongue in a heated moment to avoid saying things you’ll regret. It becomes a weapon when you shut down communication and use silence as punishment. The first builds trust, the second destroys it.
Just by way of summary: silence should never mean avoidance. If you’re single, don’t keep silent about your boundaries and expectations. If you’re married, don’t bury issues under silence—because silence doesn’t heal wounds; conversations do.
Now let’s talk about how to use silence wisely.
Pause before speaking in anger.
Walk away when someone is baiting you into unnecessary drama.
Take time to think before responding. Then, when emotions have settled, return with words that heal rather than hurt.
In love, silence is not about shutting down—it’s about holding on for better words to come. It’s choosing peace without abandoning truth. It’s waiting for the right moment to speak, so that what you say edifies, not fries. (Smiles)
If you master when to be silent and when to speak, your relationship—whether single or married—will carry less drama and more meaning.
How Men Can Earn Authority in Relationships or Marriage
Yesterday, we started looking at how and why men are losing authority. We will continue in that light today.
How to Earn the Authority You’re Demanding.
1) Master Yourself First
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28)
Get your finances in order
Control your temper
Break free from addictions
Develop emotional intelligence
Take care of your physical health
Grow spiritually through consistent discipline
2) Serve Before You Lead
Find ways to serve your partner or family without being asked
Anticipate needs
Do the unglamorous tasks
Sacrifice your preferences
Put their well-being before your comfort
3) Become a Student
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7 KJV)
Read books on marriage, leadership, and emotional intelligence
Listen more than you speak
Seek counsel from older, wiser men
Learn from your mistakes instead of repeating them
4) Lead by Example
“In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” (Titus 2:7)
Don’t just tell your family what to do, show them. You want them to pray? They should see you praying. You want them to read Scripture? They should see you reading Scripture. You want respect? Show them what respectability looks like.
5) Own Your Failures
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)
Real men apologize when they’re wrong. They admit mistakes. They don’t blame others but take responsibility.
6) Seek God First
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
Your relationship with God must be your foundation. Everything else flows from there.
Biblical submission is a woman’s RESPONSE to godly leadership, not her obligation despite ungodly leadership. When you love your wife like Christ loves the church, when you’re serving, sacrificing, protecting, providing, and prioritizing her good, submission becomes natural. It’s not forced or demanded, it just flows from trust and respect.
It’s time to grow up, earn the authority you’re demanding. It’s time to lead like Jesus led through service, sacrifice, and love. The women are scaling up. The question is: Will you?
There’s a growing crisis in relationships today, and it’s making both men and women frustrated, confused, and bitter. Men are asking, Why won’t she submit? while women are asking, Why should I follow someone who acts this way?
The present generation of men wants the authority their grandfathers had. They want to quote “wives submit to your husbands” while conveniently skipping the part about dying for their wives.
Meanwhile, women are waking up, educated, financially independent, spiritually growing, emotionally intelligent, and asking a fair question: “Why should I submit to someone who hasn’t earned the right to lead?”
“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.” (James 3:1)
If you want authority, understand that God holds leaders to a higher standard. Yes, the Bible speaks about male leadership in marriage and family.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:25-28)
Did you catch that? Biblical authority isn’t about SACRIFICE nor CONTROL. It’s about loving your wife the way Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? He died for it. Not occasionally inconvenienced or slightly bothered. He gave everything. He put her needs above His own. He washed feet. He served. He protected. He provided. He led by example.
That’s the biblical standard for male authority. If you’re not willing to meet that standard, you have no business demanding submission.
Time is one of the most precious gifts we can give. Women crave meaningful moments spent connecting with loved ones. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that timing matters—making time for her communicates priority and intentionality.
Plan regular date nights, outings, or quiet evenings at home.
Engage in activities she enjoys.
Minimize distractions like phones or TV to focus on each other.
2. Appreciate Her Efforts
Women invest significant energy into caring for others, managing households, and contributing professionally. Recognizing her efforts boosts morale and affirms her worth. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.”
Verbally acknowledge her hard work and creativity.
Surprise her with small tokens of appreciation.
Share household responsibilities to lighten her load.
3. Pursue Her Passions and Dreams
God created women with unique gifts, talents, and callings. Supporting her aspirations honors His purpose for her life. Philippians 4:13 declares, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Encourage her to step out of her comfort zone and take risks.
Provide resources or opportunities to develop her skills.
Celebrate her achievements and cheer her on during setbacks.
To love and respect a woman requires empathy, patience, and a commitment to loving them as Christ does. By prioritizing unconditional love, respect, communication, and support, you create an environment where women feel valued, empowered, and cherished.
Proverbs 31:10 poses the question, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” Indeed, every woman is precious in God’s sight—and by honoring her needs, you reflect His heart for her. Whether you’re nurturing a spouse, daughter, sister, or friend, let your actions stem from a place of love, humility, and reverence for God’s design.
Remember, to love and respect a woman isn’t about perfection—it’s about effort. As you seek to understand and meet the needs of the ladies in your life, pray for wisdom and guidance. Trust that God will use your kindness and care to build stronger, healthier, and more Christ-centered relationships.
