There is a difference between guarding your heart and hardening it, but truth be told, many of us confuse the two. Especially as singles, after being let down too many times, we slowly start to shut the doors of our hearts. We start to believe the safest version of love is to not love at all. We say we are “protecting our peace,” but really, we are hiding behind emotional walls that God never asked us to build.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
When God says, “guard your heart,” He is not telling you to lock yourself away. He is inviting you to watch over what shapes you, what you absorb, what you dwell on, and who you allow to influence your soul. Guarding your heart is not about withdrawing from people or burying your feelings. It is about living wisely—with discernment, not with fear. Because everything flows from your heart: your decisions, your relationships, your self-worth, even your prayers. So, if the heart is that central, it makes sense to tend to it with care.
But sometimes, especially when you have loved deeply or been hurt silently, building walls feels safer. Walls protect you from disappointment. From rejection. From hoping again. But walls also block out healing. They keep out the people God may actually be sending. And the thing is, when you shut off one part of your heart to avoid getting hurt, other parts start to go quiet too. You may think you are just blocking out people or pain, but over time, you can start to feel distant from God too. Not because He left, but because your heart is no longer open. Numbness does not come with a filter—it dulls everything, even the voice of the One trying to heal you.
So how do you guard your heart the right way?
It starts with remembering who you are. You are not ordinary, and your heart is not something to be handled casually. You were bought at a high price — the blood of Jesus. That alone speaks of your worth. When you truly see your value, you stop handing out deep access to people who have only shown surface interest. Just because someone is available or attracted to you does not mean they are meant to carry your heart. That is not pride, it is wisdom. Guarding your heart means being careful with what is sacred, not shutting down, but choosing who truly deserves to come close.
Guarding your heart also looks like staying open with God. A guarded heart is not a disconnected one. It is a heart that remains soft in His presence—even if it feels vulnerable. It is crying when you are tired of waiting, journaling when you do not understand what He is doing, and worshipping even when your emotions feel like a mess. It is letting Him touch the places no one else sees. That is guarding with grace.
It also means slowing down. In a culture that rushes relationships and pressures people to define everything quickly, guarding your heart means giving things time to unfold. You are not in a hurry. When something is from God, it will not require you to lose your peace to keep it. You do not need to overshare, overthink, or overextend to keep someone interested. You are allowed to take your time.
Finally, guarding your heart means trusting God more than your fears. Let’s be real: sometimes, we build walls because we do not fully trust that God will protect us if we try again. But His love is not only for eternity. It is for now, too, and if He asks you to guard your heart, it is because He plans to fill it with purpose, joy, and, yes, even love. But He needs you to be whole enough to receive it.
So in conclusion, do not go cold. Just grow guarded in the right way. Not closed off, just careful. Not anxious, just wise. Stay soft, but with boundaries. Let discernment, not fear, lead you. Because fear shuts you in, but discernment keeps you open to the life and love God still has for you.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Love is more than just words—it’s expressed through consistent actions, attitudes, and sacrifices. While every individual expresses love differently, certain signs reveal genuine affection that aligns with God’s design for relationships. Whether you’re navigating friendship, dating, or marriage, here are key indicators that someone truly loves you.
1. They Prioritize Spending Time with You
Time is one of the most valuable gifts we can give someone. A person who loves you will make intentional efforts to spend quality time with you, even amidst their busy schedule.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything.”
When they prioritize you, it shows they value your presence and cherish the moments you share.
This doesn’t mean they’ll always be available, but when they do spend time with you, they’re fully present—listening, engaging, and investing in your connection. Their actions demonstrate that you matter deeply to them.
2. They Speak Words of Encouragement and Affirmation
Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Someone who genuinely loves you uses their words to uplift and affirm you. They notice your strengths, celebrate your successes, and offer encouragement during tough times. Instead of criticizing or tearing you down, they speak life into your heart.
Whether it’s a simple compliment, heartfelt praise, or reassurance of your worth, their words reflect kindness and respect. These verbal expressions build trust and remind you of how much you mean to them.
3. They Sacrifice for Your Well-Being
True love involves sacrifice—a willingness to put your needs above their own desires. Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—by giving Himself up for her. While this principle applies to marriage, sacrificial love is also evident in other relationships.
A person who loves you will go out of their way to support you, whether it’s helping with practical tasks, offering emotional comfort, or making personal adjustments to accommodate your needs. Their sacrifices aren’t motivated by obligation but by a sincere desire to see you thrive.
4. They Respect Your Boundaries
Respect is a cornerstone of healthy love. A person who truly cares about you honors your boundaries—whether physical, emotional, or relational. They don’t pressure you to compromise your values or disregard your limits. Instead, they seek to understand what makes you feel safe and valued.
1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to treat their wives with respect, emphasizing that honor is an essential part of love. Similarly, anyone who loves you will treat you with dignity and consideration, ensuring that you feel respected and cherished.
5. They Support Your Spiritual Growth
A godly person who loves you will encourage your relationship with God rather than hinder it. They understand that your spiritual well-being is foundational to your identity and purpose. Together, you’ll pray, study Scripture, and pursue holiness—not out of obligation, but because they want to grow closer to God alongside you.
Hebrews 10:24-25 highlights this principle: “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” A loving partner will challenge you to live faithfully, cheer you on in your walk with Christ, and create space for God to work in both of your lives.
Love isn’t defined by grand gestures or fleeting emotions—it’s revealed through steadfast commitment, thoughtful actions, and selfless care. If someone consistently demonstrates these signs, chances are they genuinely love you. However, it’s important to ensure that their behavior aligns with biblical principles and reflects God’s unconditional love.
As you evaluate relationships, remember 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which describes love as patient, kind, humble, forgiving, and enduring. True love seeks the best for others and points them toward Christ. May you recognize and appreciate those who love you deeply—and strive to love others in the same way. After all, love is not just something we receive; it’s something we give, reflecting the heart of our Creator.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Love in relationships can sometimes feel like a fire that’s burning low. Life, stress, busyness, or misunderstandings can make the spark fade. But the good news is—fire can be rekindled. Here’s how:
1. Talk, Don’t Assume
Sometimes, all you need is a real conversation. Share your feelings—honestly but kindly. Ask your partner how they’re feeling, too. Silence can kill love, but open communication can bring it back to life.
2. Do the Little Things Again
Remember when you used to say “I love you” more, send sweet messages, or hold hands? Start doing those things again. Small acts can reignite big feelings.
3. Spend Quality Time Together
Make time for just the two of you. No phones, no work, no distractions. Go on a walk, a date, or just talk on the couch. Being together builds connection.
4. Forgive and Let Go
Unforgiveness is like a wall between hearts. If there’s hurt, talk about it and work on healing. Love grows when you release the past.
5. Pray Together
Invite God into your relationship. Praying together helps you feel closer and rebuilds unity.
6. Be Kind on Purpose
Speak gently. Be patient. Show love even when you don’t feel like it. Love is not just a feeling—it’s a choice you make every time.
Love is not lost—it may just need a little attention, care, and warmth. Don’t give up. The fire can burn bright again if you both keep tending to it.
5 Things to Do When You Know Your Future Spouse (Who Is Oblivious)
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
It’s an exciting, yet challenging situation: you believe you’ve met the person God has for you, but they seem completely unaware of your feelings or intentions. While it’s natural to feel eager or even anxious, remember that relationships built on mutual understanding and shared faith are worth waiting for. Here are five godly steps to take when you know your future spouse is oblivious to your perspective.
1. Pray for Clarity and Wisdom
Before taking any action, bring the situation before God in prayer. Ask Him to confirm whether this person truly is your future spouse and to grant both of you clarity about His will. Pray also for wisdom on how to approach the relationship without pressuring or overwhelming them.
James 1:5 reminds us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.”
Your prayers can cover areas such as their spiritual growth, openness to a potential relationship, and protection from misunderstandings. Trust that God is at work, even if the other person isn’t yet aware of His plans.
2. Focus on Building Genuine Friendship
Instead of rushing into romance, focus on cultivating a strong, authentic friendship. Friendships provide a foundation for deeper connection and allow you to demonstrate Christlike character over time.
Proverbs 18:24 says, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Show them loyalty, kindness, and support without ulterior motives.
As you spend time together, let your actions speak louder than words. Be intentional about learning their interests, values, and dreams. This builds trust and creates space for them to see you as someone they admire and respect—not just someone pursuing them romantically.
3. Discern Their Readiness for Commitment
Sometimes, the reason someone seems oblivious is that they’re not ready for a serious relationship. Take time to observe where they are in life spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Are they actively seeking God? Do they prioritize personal growth and maturity? If they aren’t in a place to commit, forcing the issue could lead to frustration or harm.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 teaches, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Respect their journey and timing while continuing to grow yourself. A healthy relationship requires two people who are equally prepared to move forward.
4. Communicate with Grace and Humility
When the moment feels right—and after much prayer—consider sharing your heart with them. Approach the conversation humbly, focusing on your feelings rather than pressuring them to respond immediately. For example, you might say, “I value our friendship deeply, and I feel led to share that I see potential for something more between us. I understand if this is unexpected, and I want to honor whatever your thoughts are.”
Communicating openly doesn’t mean demanding an answer; it means giving them space to process and respond in their own time.
Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to use words that build up and give grace to those who hear.
5. Trust God to Work in Their Heart
Ultimately, only God can change hearts and reveal His plan to others. If the person remains oblivious or uncertain, trust that He is working behind the scenes.
Psalm 37:5 assures us, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will do this.”
Avoid manipulating situations or trying to force intimacy. Instead, surrender the outcome to God and continue living faithfully in the meantime.
Use this season to deepen your walk with Christ, serve others, and prepare yourself for marriage. Whether this person becomes your spouse or not, staying obedient to God ensures that you’ll be ready for whatever He has planned.
Knowing your future spouse who is oblivious to your feelings can test your patience and faith, but it’s also an opportunity to trust God’s timing and provision. By praying, building friendship, discerning readiness, communicating gracefully, and trusting His sovereignty, you position yourself to honor both the other person and the Lord.
Remember, marriage is a covenant designed by God, and both parties must be willing participants in His plan. Keep your focus on being the best version of yourself and walking in alignment with His purposes. Even if the path seems unclear now, be assured that God is faithful to guide you step by step toward the future He has prepared for you.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
We love the idea of “potential.”
He’s not there yet… but he could be.
She’s still finding herself… but she’s got fire.
But here’s the real question: Does he or she have direction?
Hear this clearly:
Potential doesn’t build a marriage. Direction does.
Are you considering someone?
Don’t just ask if they are gifted.
Ask: Are they going anywhere with it?
Purpose isn’t a vibe—it’s a vision. It’s waking up with a sense of assignment. It’s building something bigger than yourself.
You don’t need someone perfect, but you do need someone pursuing. Someone who’s submitted. Someone who’s becoming.
Marriage is more than “We look good together.”
It’s “Can we carry destiny together?”
Can we push each other toward God’s call on our lives?
Can we raise children in purpose?
Can we give sacrificially, serve selflessly, and still laugh while doing it?
If you’re already married, it’s easy to throw purpose out of the window (by the time you begin to change diapers and think about school fees). But the pursuit of purpose shouldn’t stop after the wedding—that’s in fact when it becomes real.
So, become intentional. Ask yourselves:
– What are we building together—besides bills and babies of course?
– Are we aligned spiritually, or just surviving practically?
– Do we challenge each other to grow or just tolerate each other’s comfort zones?
Don’t let your marriage become a museum of old dreams.
Make it a greenhouse—where vision keeps growing, where callings are watered, and where you both flourish side by side.
God never creates purpose in isolation.
He pairs people to partner, not just to cuddle. Remember He made a HELP MEET suitable for Adam.
So whether you’re waiting or already walking the journey, remember this:
The right partnership doesn’t distract you from purpose—it propels you into it.
Red Alert:
If your current relationship is taking you away from purpose, that person is not for you. Cut it off!
