Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
To my future wife, whoever and wherever you are—this letter is for you. Though we may not yet know each other, I want to speak honestly about the journey ahead of us. Marriage is a sacred covenant, not just between two people but also with God (Malachi 2:14). It requires preparation, humility, and intentionality from both sides. So before our paths cross or our vows unite us, let me ask: Are you really ready for me?
1. Are You Ready to Partner in Purpose?
Marriage isn’t just about romance—it’s about partnership. Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Before we can walk side by side, we must first agree on the direction we’re heading. Are you pursuing God’s purpose for your life? Do you understand that marriage amplifies ministry, calling us to serve Him together as one? If we’re both aligned with His will, our union won’t just be a relationship—it’ll be a mission field.
2. Are You Ready to Embrace Imperfection?
Let’s get real—I’m far from perfect. Neither of us will enter this marriage without flaws, struggles, or areas where growth is needed. Ephesians 4:2 calls us to bear with one another in love, “being completely humble and gentle.” Can you embrace my imperfections while challenging me to become better? Likewise, am I willing to do the same for you? Love isn’t blind; it sees clearly yet chooses to stay committed through grace and forgiveness.
3. Are You Ready to Communicate Openly?
Healthy communication is the backbone of any strong marriage. James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Are you ready to share your heart vulnerably, even when it feels uncomfortable? Will you extend patience when misunderstandings arise? Honest dialogue fosters trust, intimacy, and unity—the pillars of a thriving relationship.
4. Are You Ready to Prioritize God Above All Else?
Our marriage won’t succeed if it’s built solely on feelings or convenience—it must be rooted in God. Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first His kingdom, and everything else will fall into place. As much as I long to love and cherish you, nothing should come before my relationship with Christ—and the same must be true for you. When God is at the center, our love becomes unshakeable because it’s anchored in eternity.
5. Are You Ready to Fight Together?
Marriage isn’t always easy; there will be seasons of joy and seasons of struggle. But here’s the truth: We won’t fight against each other—we’ll fight for each other. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” With God binding us together, we’ll face challenges as a team. Are you prepared to stand firm, pray fervently, and never give up—even when the road gets tough?
Final Thought:
My dearest future wife, I write these words not to intimidate but to inspire. Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it demands readiness—from both of us. As you prepare your heart for this lifelong commitment, remember that love is more than a feeling; it’s a choice, a sacrifice, and a reflection of God’s unwavering devotion to us.
If you’re reading this, take courage. Whether we meet tomorrow or years from now, I trust that God is preparing you just as He’s preparing me. Let’s commit to seeking Him above all else, knowing that He will guide our steps toward each other in His perfect timing. Until then, keep growing, keep praying, and keep believing—for the best is yet to come.
When Love Gets Tired: Understanding Emotional Fatigue in Relationships
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register on this link – https://kissesandhuggs.com/conv2025
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
If you think love is always butterflies, then I’m sorry to let you know that it isn’t. Love is not always butterflies and long phone calls. Sometimes, love gets tired. Yes, it happens!
Love does get tired. Not tired of loving, but tired of carrying too much weight emotionally.
As a single, maybe you have poured your heart into someone who barely gave anything back. You’re always the one texting first, checking in, holding the conversation—and now you feel drained. That’s emotional fatigue. It’s your heart telling you: “This isn’t balanced” (or “e no balance!”)
My dear, it’s okay to step back. Real love shouldn’t feel like a performance where you always have to audition to be chosen. You deserve a relationship where the effort is mutual, not one-sided.
As married couples, emotional fatigue mostly creeps in silently. The busy routines, the endless responsibilities, the unspoken hurts—they simply just pile up. And before you know it, one day, one or both of you will feel like you’re running on empty.
What can you do?
1. Check in emotionally: Don’t just ask “How was your day?”—ask “How are you, really?”
2. Share the load: If one person is always giving and the other always taking, someone will burn out.
3. Create space to breathe: Sometimes, a short walk together or a quiet evening without screens can do a lot more for your marriage than a vacation.
4. Speak up early: Don’t wait till you explode. Learn to say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed” instead of pretending you’re okay.
Emotional fatigue is real, but it’s not the end. It’s a signal—an invitation to pause, recalibrate, and refill your emotional tank.
Yeah, even love needs rest. And when you honour that, your relationship becomes not just a place to give love, but to receive it too.
Cheers!
To healthy and fulfilling relationships and marriages.
I declare over you today:
You will marry well in the name of Jesus!
May the remaining part of this year bring you pleasant surprises in the name of Jesus!
That which has stood against you works for you now in the name of Jesus!
The Silent Struggle in Relationships and Marriages
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Dianna struggled deeply with masturbation. She was new in her faith, and it all started when a guy made her feel wanted through flirty chats and sexual conversations. He spoke to her in ways that made her feel special, then convinced her to explore her own body. Before she knew it, self-pleasure had become a habit.
Eventually, guilt overwhelmed her. She said:
“I feel so condemned… like God is angry with me.”
Maybe you’ve felt the same, whether you’re single or married. But here’s the truth: God is not waiting to punish you. He’s waiting to restore you.
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”Romans 8:1 (NIV)
God doesn’t hold your sin over your head when you come to Him with honesty.
“Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.”Hebrews 10:17 (NIV)
So… Is Masturbation Really a Big Deal?
In today’s world, it’s often seen as completely normal. “Everyone does it,” they say. Teens, singles, and even married people use it as an emotional or physical escape.
But the real question is: Is it helpful or holy for someone who wants to follow Jesus?
Sex was created by God for intimacy and unity in marriage. When we take it outside that purpose, whether with another person or by ourselves, we often end up with lust, shame, and distance from God.
Masturbation feeds the flesh but leaves the spirit starved.
“Dear friends, I urge you… to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.”1 Peter 2:11 (NIV)
This isn’t about shame. It’s about spiritual health and freedom.
So Why Do We Do It?
Sometimes it’s boredom. Sometimes loneliness. Sometimes, emotional pain. In some marriages, it might come from unmet needs or a lack of connection.
Whatever the reason, here’s a better question: What’s feeding the desire?
Porn? Romance novels? Late-night scrolling? Who are your influences? Friends? Online content? Even a spouse can sometimes encourage unhealthy habits.
“Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.”1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV):
So, How Do We Break Free?
Start with Jesus. Not in fear, but in honesty.
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.”Ezekiel 36:26 (NIV)
That’s a promise. And He means it.
Fill your time with scriptures, prayers, worship, community, and accountability.
And yes, cut off triggers. Don’t keep the door open to things that keep you trapped.
Also—talk to someone. A mentor, a spiritual leader, someone mature in faith. Healing begins when we bring things into the light.
You Can Be Free
Don’t believe the lie that you’ll always struggle with this. You won’t. The power of Jesus is greater than your habits.
You are not alone. You are not too far gone. And you can live free.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Loving Someone Who Isn’t Ready Yet
There’s a special kind of ache that comes from loving someone who isn’t ready. You see the potential, the prayers you’ve prayed seem to be forming in them but they’re not quite there yet. You’re emotionally invested, but spiritually torn. And so, you wait. Now, the real question is: did God ask you to wait?
Many times, we romanticize waiting. We tell ourselves we’re being patient, loyal, and long-suffering. Meanwhile, love without wisdom is an idol, and you may unknowingly be putting yourself in the place of God. If they’re not ready for commitment, consistency, or growth, then you need to call yourself back. If you keep hoping they will change, you have to ask: Is this faith or fear of letting go?
God’s kind of waiting always brings peace, not anxiety. He doesn’t keep us in emotional limbo. When God says “wait,” it comes with assurance, clarity, and purpose, not confusion or heartbreak. “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace…” (1 Corinthians 14:33).
It’s okay to love someone or something deeply and still choose obedience. God will never ask you to lose yourself while trying to prove your love to someone else. If they are not ready, that’s it. No amount of waiting can make them become who only God can shape them to be.
Sometimes, the most powerful display of love is letting go and trusting that if it’s God’s will, He’ll bring it back matured, whole, and aligned. Until then, choose your peace, clarity, and God’s timing over emotional desperation. “He has made everything beautiful in its time…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Here are five steps to detach from someone who isn’t ready yet:
1. Accept the truth
Stop holding on to their potential. You may see glimpses of who they could become, but love must be rooted in reality. God doesn’t call us to wait on maybes. If they’re not showing up with clarity, commitment, or growth, believe what you see, not just what you hope for.
2. Pour your emotions out to God
God can handle your heartbreak. He can bring the tears, confusion, and disappointment to Him without filters. This is where healing begins. “Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
3. Create a healthy distance
Love doesn’t mean unlimited access. Guard your heart by setting boundaries emotionally, mentally, and even digitally. Muting, unfollowing, or creating space isn’t cruelty; it’s wisdom. You can’t heal while staying where you’re constantly triggered.
4. Reclaim your identity and purpose
You are not less because someone wasn’t ready for you. You are still chosen, loved, and whole in Christ. So, refocus on who you are and what God has called you to do. Your worth is not tied to their readiness.
5. Surrender the outcome to God
Let go of the emotional control. Trust that if it’s truly God’s will, it will return whole, healed, and aligned. Until then, choose obedience and peace over those pressures.
Dear KHCites, love is a beautiful thing, but it must be mutual, mature, and God-led. If they’re not ready, don’t stay stuck. Trust God with your heart. He knows how to restore, redirect, and reward those who obey even when it hurts.
How to Fight for Your Relationship as a Single Person
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Being single doesn’t mean you’re sidelined in the journey of love—it’s an opportunity to prepare, grow, and actively position yourself for the relationship God has designed for you. While society often pressures singles to “wait” passively, Scripture encourages us to take intentional steps toward the future He has promised. Here’s how you can fight for your future relationship while still single.
1. Fight for Your Own Growth
The foundation of any healthy relationship starts with you. Use this season to become the best version of yourself spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Focus on developing qualities like patience, kindness, humility, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Invest time in personal hobbies, education, or skills that align with your purpose. When you prioritize growth, you not only honor God but also prepare yourself to contribute positively to a future partnership.
Proverbs 4:7 says, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” Wisdom and maturity are gifts you bring into any relationship, so start cultivating them now.
2. Fight Through Prayer and Fasting
One of the most powerful ways to fight for your future relationship is through prayer and fasting. Ask God to prepare both you and your future spouse. Pray for clarity about His timing, protection from unhealthy relationships, and guidance toward the right person. Fasting adds spiritual intensity to your prayers, demonstrating your dependence on God rather than your own efforts.
Matthew 7:7 reminds us, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Trust that God hears your cries and is working behind the scenes to align everything according to His perfect plan.
3. Fight Against Negative Mindsets
Society bombards singles with messages of inadequacy, loneliness, and impatience. Combat these lies by renewing your mind with truth from Scripture. Remind yourself daily that your identity isn’t tied to relationship status—it’s rooted in Christ (Ephesians 2:10). Refuse to settle out of desperation or fear of being alone. Instead, embrace singleness as a gift (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) and use this time to deepen your walk with God.
Philippians 4:8 encourages us to focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Fill your mind with these truths instead of doubt or discouragement.
4. Fight for Healthy Boundaries
Even as a single person, boundaries are essential. They protect your heart and ensure you’re pursuing relationships that honor God. Set clear standards for the type of person you’ll date—for example, someone who shares your faith, values, and commitment to Christ. Avoid compromising just because you feel pressure to be in a relationship.
Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Establishing boundaries demonstrates self-respect and attracts partners who value you appropriately.
5. Fight by Building Strong Friendships
Healthy friendships lay the groundwork for strong romantic relationships. Surround yourself with godly men and women who model Christlike character and can offer wise counsel when needed. Learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and show empathy within friendships—skills that will serve you well in marriage.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 highlights the importance of community: “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Cultivate meaningful connections that reflect God’s love and prepare you for partnership.
Fighting for your relationship as a single person means trusting God’s timing while actively preparing yourself for the blessing He has in store. It’s not about sitting idly by but engaging in the process of becoming ready—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
Remember, Psalm 37:4 promises, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” As you focus on growing closer to God and living purposefully, He will align your life with His plans, including the right relationship at the right time. So keep fighting—not out of desperation, but out of faith. Your future begins today.
