We have established that a good number of children of God cope with one form of abuse in their relationships or marriages. This is not meant to be so. Jesus Christ paid the price on the cross for me and you to enjoy a blissful marriage. It is the devil that is the thief that comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
However, if we can labour in the word of God, attend to God’s word, give it the needed attention, meditate on it, and confess it just like Psalm 1 instruct, we will be like a well-watered garden in our relationships and marriage.
Psalm 1:2-3 ESV but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. [3] He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.
God’s word promises us we will prosper in all that we do including in our relationships and marriages.
Whatever we see in the world, we can see it in our world.
So let’s delve into God’s word to see what He promises us. I have carefully written out confessions for every married person and for singles not enjoying bliss in their marriage and relationships.
These confessions are based on Ephesians 5:18-30
Father, I thank you because I am continually being filled with the Holy Spirit. I walk not according to the dictates of my flesh but according to the dictates and desires of the spirit. My thoughts are filled with godly thoughts. I have a merry heart, I am always singing and making melody in my heart onto God. I am always full of thanksgiving. I thank God for my spouse/ partner. I am grateful.
We are submissive to one another out of reverence for Christ.
As singles, take this confession, I thank you Lord for this relationship. As a lady, I give myself to learning how to eventually submit. I am gracious and I grow in my relationship with the Lord.
As a guy, I practice unconditional love. I learn from the Lord how He loved not in a selfish way but in a godly way. I don’t desecrate her body but respect her as a child of the most high God. We put God first in our relationship.
Father, I thank you because I am continually being filled with the Holy Spirit. I walk not according to the dictates of my flesh but according to the dictates and desires of the spirit. My thoughts are filled with Godly thoughts. I have a merry heart, I am always singing and making melody in my heart onto God. I am always full of thanksgiving. I thank God for my spouse/ partner. I am grateful.
As a wife, I submit myself to my husband just as I submit to the Lord. Having this understanding that just as Christ is the head of the church, my husband is my head. I submit to my husband in all things irrespective of how I feel. My submission is in obedience to God and He will defend me. I graciously make my opinion known to him but allow him to have the last say. I recognize that anything that has two heads is a monster. I am not afraid to submit to my husband but I trust God to work in him. I am a God-fearing wife. I take everything to God in prayer.
As a husband, I love my wife just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. Just as Jesus was humble and died for the church so I am willing to die for my wife. I give up my rights as the head and become a servant leader. This I do to make my wife holy, better, smarter, blossom, and thrive, this I do by following the scriptures. I present her to myself radiant. Labouring in prayers for her to be a helpful meet indeed for me. I help to bring her to maturity by investing in her spiritually, mentally, and emotionally and exchanging her weakness for the strength that is in Christ.
As a husband, I love my wife as my own body because I recognize that when I love my wife, I am loving myself. I nourish and cherish my wife with love, attention, and affection. Jesus has shown me by example how to love my wife unconditionally. I leave my ideologies or the ways and methods I learned from my background and embrace the new ways Christ shows me.
Our marriages and relationships are blissful. Our lives are full of the Lord’s blessings because we give no place to strife. We deeply love ourselves and God is revealing to us new ways to submit and love ourselves so help us, God.
Be diligent in taking this confession and see the blessings thereof.
Imagine if you take this confession every day for the rest of this year.
Once upon a time, in a bustling city filled with bright lights and fast-paced lives, there lived a young couple named Buddy and Stella.
They were deeply in love and committed to building a relationship grounded in understanding and connection.
One evening, as they sat on the rooftop of their house, Stella shared her dreams and aspirations with Buddy.
Instead of merely hearing her words, Buddy decided to listen truly. He put away his phone, looked into Stella’s eyes, and let her pour out her heart. He nodded, smiled, and used his body language to show he was fully present and engaged.
When Stella finished speaking, Buddy took a moment to gather his thoughts. He summarized and rephrased what she had shared, ensuring he understood her correctly.
Stella’s face lit up with excitement. She felt truly seen and understood by Buddy’s active listening. It made her feel valued and cherished, knowing that he was genuinely interested in her passions and dreams.
They delved into conversations about life, faith, and their shared purpose. Questions like, “What impact do you hope to make in the world?” and “What are your wildest dreams and how can I support you in achieving them?” became the fuel for their connection.
In moments of vulnerability, they acknowledged each other’s emotions, just as Jesus did with compassion and understanding.
When Buddy faced setbacks in his career, Stella listened without judgment, providing a safe space for him to express his frustrations. And when Stella experienced self-doubt in her emotions, Buddy offered unwavering support and reminded her of her inner strength!
Most importantly, Buddy and Stella learned to avoid interruptions and assumptions. They realized that true understanding required patience and the willingness to hear each other out completely. They were quick to listen and slow to speak, just as the Scriptures advised.
Their love story continued to flourish as they embraced the art of radical listening. Their relationship became a haven of trust, where they could freely express themselves and find solace in the other’s understanding.
They discovered that active listening was the key to unlocking a love that transcends generations—a love that speaks the language of the heart and nurtures the souls of both singles and couples.
And so, their love story continues to inspire others, reminding them of the power of radical listening. This power can ignite flames of love and understanding in the hearts of a generation yearning for authentic connection.
For Singles:
Are you actively practicing radical listening in your friendships and potential romantic relationships? How can you incorporate the principles of active listening into your interactions?
What are your deepest passions, dreams, and aspirations? How can you find someone who will truly listen and support you in pursuing those dreams?
Reflecting on your past relationships, were there instances where active listening could have made a positive difference? How can you improve your listening skills in future relationships?
For Couples:
How well do you currently practice active listening in your relationship? Are there areas where you can improve to foster deeper understanding and connection?
What open-ended questions can you ask your partner to foster meaningful conversations and explore each other’s dreams and aspirations?
How do you acknowledge and validate each other’s emotions in moments of vulnerability? Are there any specific ways you can enhance your empathy and support for each other?
For Singles and Couples:
Reflecting on the story, what is one action you can take today to become a more active and empathetic listener in your relationships?
How can you create intentional moments of undistracted listening with your partner or potential partner?
Are there any assumptions or interruptions that you need to be more mindful of in your communication? How can you practice being quick to listen and slow to speak?
Abuse in relationships and marriage is the most common cause of separation and divorce in marriage.
As Singles, you should watch out for signs of abuse and be courageous enough to take the necessary steps.
First, let’s look at the meaning of abuse.
Abuse means treating a loved one or partner with violence, disrespect, cruelty, harm, or force. When someone treats their partner in any of these ways, it’s called an abusive relationship. Abuse in a relationship can be physical, sexual, verbal, financial, or emotional. Or it could be all of these.
In an abusive relationship or marriage, it takes a positive mindset and courage to confront the abuser. Having healthy self-esteem will also help to know that you are not to be abused but loved and cherished. No one should be a victim, whether male or female.
When a partner is showing signs of abuse it is not alright to ignore it. An abuser in relationships will be an abuser in marriage.
There are many reasons for being an abusive partner, a major cause is a dysfunctional background. Most people who abuse their partner have been abused and they usually have a deep-seated emotional issue or immaturity.
In an abusive marriage, the husband or wife has a power imbalance and uses manipulation, intimidation, threats, and physical or emotional violence to control the other.
Abuse in relationships and marriage is often characterized by extreme jealousy, possessiveness, and a lack of respect for the other partner’s boundaries.
A lot of marriages go through abuse of various kinds and different degrees. When violence and physical abuse are involved, a professional therapist must be sought.
The use of scriptures to pray and make daily declarations and confessions is also known to get amazing results.
Declaring the word and speaking the Word over the abuser helps in rewiring the brain.
Genesis 1:1-2 (KJV) In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
God spoke His Word to a situation that was without form and void. You too can speak to that situation.
Singles should not go on to marry a partner who is already showing serious signs of abuse.
Based on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast.”
Your lover or spouse will test your patience! Just telling you ahead!
Throughout a relationship, there are times when you’ll need patience and times you’ll need grace to acknowledge each other’s kindness.
Patience and kindness are the strings that bind all your excesses together, helping you through every uphill and making it easier to celebrate every high.
It encourages couples to appreciate each other’s gifts, navigate through each other’s flaws with understanding, and dig in with care.
2. Love and Keep Loving
Each One of You Also Must Love His Wife as He Loves Himself, and the Wife Must Respect Her Husband.
Ephesians 5:33 encourages wives and husbands to respect each other, which is the essence of mutual admiration and understanding.
When you respect each other, you create a safe environment for your love to grow. You can disagree with respect, appreciate your partner’s opinions, feelings, and well-being, forming a strong base for any relationship.
When you understand this, you will be able love and keep loving!
3. Practice forgiveness
Colossians 3:13 reminds us, “Bear with each other and forgive one another; if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
The power of forgiveness allows relationships to heal, grow, and mature, building a foundation of trust. Grudges create barriers to love; forgiveness breaks them down and creates a bridge to the other person, a bridge to the heart.
My dear couple, avoid strife like a plague! You don’t want to dine with strife in any way!
4. Be honest and transparent
What is the foundation of all relationships? Proverbs 24:26 says, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”
Honest communication is the lifeline of relationships. It builds trust, dissipates misunderstandings, and gives partners a clearer path.
When we love another person, we need to know that in their love for us, they will be honest, and we can be honest with them. Then, the lines of communication are truly open!
Be sincere! You really don’t want to be caught in the web of deception!
5. God cannot be wrong!
She was intelligent, ambitious, and the love of your life. You were intelligent, ambitious, and the love of her life. God was involved. In the journey of your unfolding relationship, keep referring to the encounter you had with God before you married your spouse! That will stabilise you and remove all doubts!
These five Biblical pieces of advice can help you and your partner enrich your relationship and build a loving, respectful union that can stand the test of time and flourish in times of joy and challenge.
Whether you’re navigating the early stages of love or seeking to rekindle the flame in a long-term relationship, these timeless teachings will help you in your relationship or marriage.
A successful relationship leading to a wedding and a successful marriage as a couple requires a certain type of humility!
It is interesting how you start a relationship and you are sure you already know your lover only to find out that you are clueless.
It is equally amazing, how your solid pride about being an expert loverboy or girl is completely shattered after the wedding. You suddenly discover that all your dexterity as a fantastic and romantic human is useless and you can’t seem to please your spouse! How humbling!
Now you are married or in a relationship and your dream of living happily ever after has turned into living sadly daily!
The relationship or marriage is riddled with persistent quarrels that seem unending. Strife has become a part of the home. The once lover/husband who used to be funny than Brother Shaggy has become a shadow of himself and can no longer make you smile.
The once happy babe who laughs at any little effort has hibernated into a cocoon, which seems sealed.
What do you do, either in courtship or marriage?
You must come into that humbling space and tell God you hardly know the one you are married to. Tell God to forgive your assumptions and teach you how to love your fiancee, husband, or wife!
The anointing we have teaches us all things! Including how to love appropriately! 1 Jn 2:27
Humble yourself and pray that prayer. Read books, get a relationship or marriage mentor, and become accountable! Check some of the courses we have HERE and make an effort to invest in your relationship or marriage! You cannot just be looking while things deteriorate! I usually say it is better to invest in your relationship or marriage than to pay a lawyer to handle separation or divorce! That will never be your portion in Jesus’ name!
If these are not in place, you are not seeking a solution!
The devil doesn’t want you to live in peace! All he wants to do is scatter that union. Don’t allow him. Commit to fighting for your relationship or marriage by doing the right things, humbling yourself, and reaching out to God to help you! Good morning!
