3. Two people where one is born again and the other is not
Here is another scenario that doesn’t always play out well, except with patience, prayers, and perseverance. I always advise singles not to think of getting married to someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God. It would always be filled with challenges that you might have to fight alone because you do not agree with your choice of weapons. You want to pray, but he or she thinks you are just being fanatical.
That can be very disconcerting. It is always a good combo when both agree and are going in the same direction in terms of belief systems and practices.
4. Two sentimental people
When two sentimental people get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home. Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from a sentimental point of view rather than principles. They can ruin themselves in no time because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments. They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
5. Two angry people
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody who has anger problems and who refuses to work at it. An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds. Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
As singles and married couples, you are to deliberately work things out in your relationship or marriage and with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Here is what the scripture says:
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12 KJV)
In a relationship and or marriage, you are to work things out. A relationship or courtship does not lead to marriage automatically, you are to work things out in your disposition, attitude, and reactions. A marriage does not just succeed; you are to work things out between yourselves.
Now some combinations will surely crack along the way. When you find yourself in these spots, you need to seek help prayerfully and with a lot of wisdom to address the lurking issues.
Here are those combinations:
1. Two people who are unbelievers
Two people who are unbelievers may love themselves and may be committed to each other, but when the storms of life come, they will fight their battles alone and you know, some of those battles can be very fierce. They will not have God’s support since they don’t have a relationship with God. They will not have the benefit of a relationship with God and it can be very intense! They need to connect with God!
2. Two people who are believers but refuse to grow
The second group of couples may be believers but whose minds are not renewed. The only thing is that they already have a relationship with God, but apart from that, they are still carnal. They still do their stuff like unbelievers would do. They still want to have fun in forbidden areas and they still want to explore the perverse, which would often come with dire consequences. My advice for couples in this group is that they seek help as soon as possible.
Thoughts or mindsets are very powerful. The mind rules the man. Where the mind goes, the man follows. Victory in life is so much as the victory in your mind.
If you can master your mind, then you can positively channel it for a victorious living. Your level of victory in life is directly proportionate to the level of victory you have in your mind or soul.
Now your mind is the seat of your will, thoughts, emotions and your intellect.
3Jn 1:2 (KJV) Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.
The soundness or health of our minds or souls is so important that we should constantly be checking on the state of our minds.
You need to constantly check your thoughts. Are your thoughts leading you to victory in your relationship, marriage, and life?
You must see these negative thoughts as they truly are. They can destroy your relationship and marriage if you don’t destroy them.
The Bible teaches us how to handle our thoughts, especially the negative ones that can destroy our lives and marriages.
2Co 10:4-5 (KJV) (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) [5] Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Every negative, ungodly, selfish thought must be cast down. They must not be allowed to govern your marriage, home, and life.
You have to take up that responsibility because nobody will do it on your behalf.
How do you handle negative thoughts? You use godly thoughts to cast down those negative thoughts or mindsets.
Here are ten wrong mindsets or thoughts that can ruin your marriage.
1. My spouse hates me and only shows he loves me when he or she wants something from me.
2. There is no ‘God’s perfect will’ in marriage. Just marry anybody, bear his name, and don’t expect too much.
3. There are no blissful marriages. It exists only as a figment of one’s imagination.
4. Husbands don’t have the ability to love their wives.
5. As a wife, I refuse to allow my husband full authority over my life. He will still end up hurting and cheating me.
6. Faithfulness in marriage is not real. Just pretend everything is okay and pray you don’t get caught or catch your spouse in adultery
7. You don’t have to be one hundred percent sincere, open, or transparent, it’s not worth it.
8. Without money in marriage, there is no love.
9. The Bible, God’s principles, or learning about marriage is not necessary or very relevant to having a blissful marriage.
10. Once my children are okay, that is okay. Expecting my husband to love me unconditionally is asking for too much.
If you have any of these mindsets, it is time to throw them away and discard them.
These are simply the four most important persons in a marriage or relationship setting that will make it balanced and blissful. We all desire blissful marriages, but have you asked yourself why is it so far-fetched? I think the answer lies in this quadrant of marriage. Know these and know peace
This quadrant includes (not in any particular order)
1. God
2. The person of the Holy Spirit
3. The wife
4. The husband
Knowing each person in this quadrant will go a long way in making a success of your marriage. These four persons are key and are also interwoven. Knowing one at the expense of the other could be detrimental to the success of the union.
It is to be noted that the husband and the wife (fiance and fiancee as the case may be if in a relationship). They are both given the responsibility to first know God, then themselves, appreciate themselves, understand themselves, and celebrate themselves before trying to know and figure out the other person.
As I said earlier the knowledge of all four persons is very important and each has its place.
1. God – the big G
He is the sovereign God who rules in the affairs of men and wants the take the wheel in every life if He is permitted. God instituted marriage and He already figured out that we will have directions and instructions both for our lives and for our marriage. So each of us is to follow this Manual. The extent to which we follow it is the extent to which we will know peace in our home and marriage. God cannot be wrong, so also His word. Follow His instructions to the letter for marriage and you are good to go.
Are you getting blessed? I will continue on this tomorrow by God’s grace. Have a fantastic day!
Character flaws are not death sentences but defects that we should be willing to change. Change doesn’t come easy. However, to grow we all need to change. The only constant thing is change. No one is born with the perfect set of characters, we all learn and cultivate them.
Many character flaws are destructive in relationships and marriage. It is essential to talk about them because once we are in love, we may not realize or pay attention to the signs that character flaws are present in your fiance or fiancee.
Here are four character flaws
1. Pride
Once married you and your spouse are joined together as one and you don’t want to be destroyed along with your spouse. Pride goes before a fall. You will notice pride when your partner has an over-inflated ego, doesn’t listen to correction, thinks he knows it all, and feels they are always the boss. Humility is a virtue and it can be learned. Satan was proud and that was why he was cast down. So if you notice even the slightest trace of pride begin to do something about it. Often the person with the flaw may be ignorant of it.
Job 36:9 (MSG) God tells them where they’ve gone wrong, shows them how their pride has caused their trouble.
2. Insincerity
This is a character flaw that may have been learned from childhood as a coping mechanism. Some use it as a defense mechanism. It is not being truthful. The Bible recommends that our Yea be Yea and our Nay be Nay. When your partner has problems with being sincere you need to pay attention to this character flaw.
3. Laziness
A lazy person is the devil’s workshop. One of the virtues one should look for in a partner is hard work. Not just working hard but also working smart. If you learn to work hard, you will learn to cultivate your garden and grow your barren land turning it into a green pasture. There is dignity in labor while a lazy partner will always find fault with his tools. Fulfilling our destiny requires some level of tenacity and hard work. If you notice your partner is lazy, please pay attention to this character flaw.
Pro 15:19 (MSG) The path of lazy people is overgrown with briers; the diligent walk down a smooth road.
4. Greed
This is another character flaw that will eventually lead to destruction. Yes, one should have the drive to want more in life, but greed happens when there is an insatiable and burning desire for more material things. This is what we call the mundane things. Anyone chasing the mundane things cannot be a God chaser and a chaser of His kingdom. A greedy person will chase shadows at the expense of the real things. A greedy person will neglect his family all in the name of making more money.
Pay close attention to these character defects to avoid stories that touch the heart.
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