Exploring Her Bedroom Wishlist. This area of question is perhaps an area I have often been asked.
“Pastor, my wife is frigid, what can I do?”
“Pastor, my wife will never initiate lovemaking. Is she normal?”
“Pastor, my wife is disinterested in lovemaking, unless on rare occasions and this makes me feel she might be seeing someone else.“
Pastor, how can I make my wife enjoy it more, I don’t like her attitude in bed!”
“The list goes on.
Now, I am going to suggest a few things you can do as a husband to make your love experience a better one.
Some people already have a great and fantastic experience, or so they thought, but it can always get better.
It is actually meant to get better as time goes on. You understand yourselves more, you become more mature, and even more dexterous in bed with each other. You also learn how to satisfy each other, where to touch and where not to, and so on. It’s like old exotic wine that tastes better with age!
Pro 5:18-19 (MSG) Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! [19] Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose— don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!
Okay, so here are a few things that could help.
Exploring Her Bedroom Wishlist
1. Longer foreplay
If your wife hasn’t told you this, you just might not have been listening.
Oh I don’t mean she said that verbally, but she would have said it many times with attitude and body language.
But I always advise wives to communicate what they want and make it explicit without any inhibitions.
Your wife wants longer foreplay, even if she seems to be the type that is always “in the spirit” all the time.
She doesn’t want a helicopter kind of thing, she wants the airplane experience.
The helicopter takes off and lands at once and abruptly, as long as the blades are working.
The airplane takes time to taxi around before taking off.
The taxi-ing experience is the foreplay
An average woman needs at least twenty minutes of foreplay in order to be ready.
Forty minutes is even better.
More than an hour will be fantastic!
Exploring Her Bedroom Wishlist
While a man is ready in less than ten seconds, it is different with a lady unless she is on a mission of prostitution or some perverse acts in exchange for a mammon.
So, dear husband, your wife wants you to be patient with her, so that she can enjoy it as well.
Dealing with in-laws’ issues can be quite challenging, especially in this part of the world. It is a sensitive issue, that must be handled with maturity and love.
Remember the law of seed time and harvest. You don’t want to reap later an in-law who treats you badly. Here are some helpful tips that can help you deal wisely with your in-laws.
1. Change your perspectives about them
Put yourself in their shoes and understand their insecurities and weaknesses. Overlook offenses and just work more on having compassionate interactions.
2. Build a strong relationship
Let your priority be building a strong relationship as a couple. Know that your in-laws are a third party and can only come in between you if you allow them.
3. Be there for your spouse
Each spouse should manage and handle their family and parents. It’s easier to deal with your parents. Defend your spouse and empower them.
10 Ways To Handle Your In-Laws
4. Respect your Differences
Due to generational gaps, age differences, and perspectives, differences in personalities, beliefs, and opposing viewpoints are inevitable. Respect your differences
5. Stay positive
Be willing to open up for a better relationship. Try to find common grounds and positive aspects of your relationship, this will help improve your interactions
6. Have Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries. Discuss with your spouse and mutually agree on what extent you will allow your in-laws to interfere in your matters.
10 Ways To Handle Your In-Laws
7. Talk about issues
You must maintain open and respectful communication with your in-laws. Share your feelings and thoughts directly and calmly and listen to their perspectives
8. Be at peace with all men
Choose your battles wisely. Not all issues are worth confronting. Let go of matters that are no big deal
9. Seek Counsel
Don’t hesitate to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor when situations become overwhelming.
10. Pray
Pray about the situation and pray for your in-laws. God indeed answers prayer. He will give you the needed wisdom
Remember having a beautiful relationship with your in-law is a blessing. It is possible if you are willing and patient, asking God for help.
This may not really sound as important to menfolk, but I can tell you as a marriage counselor that it is a big deal for ladies.
One woman bitterly complained that the only problem she had with her husband was that he never says “I love you!”
The man went to a recording studio and recorded a seventy-minute audio of his voice repeatedly saying “I love you!”
He took this CD and presented it to his wife.
“Hey dear, my pepperento potatoe, anytime you want to hear me say that, just play this CD!
The wife took it from him, broke it into two, and threw it out of the window.
The man was furious.
The wife said calmly, “I didn’t marry the CD, I married you and I want to hear it from you.”
And that is the way it is.
Dear husbands, your wife needs to hear that every time.
Don’t allow the compliments she gets outside to outweigh your own expressions for her at home.
After childbirth and as they approach midlife, women go through a mix of emotions and they struggle with their appearance, their tummy, and body shape.
That is why mirrors are never far from them.
They need a lot of affirmations from their husbands at this time.
Your affirmations will go a long way in stabilizing their emotions and ultimately make them feel loved.
Husbandry Unveiled: Unmissable Trio
2. Attend Church Together
Very importantly, the husband as the head should ensure he raises a godly family.
Part of doing that is not forsaking the assembly of God’s people.
It is important you keep hearing the same thing.
I do not always subscribe that couples attend church services differently.
Attend the same church and build up yourselves spiritually.
Grow together.
Study together.
Pray together.
It goes a long way to strengthen the marriage.
As the husband, it is your responsibility to give spiritual leadership and direction.
Husbandry Unveiled: Unmissable Trio
3. Resist the Urge To Lift Your Hands Against Her
Finally, as a husband, you should do all in your care to never lift your hands against your wife, for any reason, whatsoever.
This is what separates the men from the boys.
“Oh Pastor, you don’t know my wife. She is stubborn, rude, annoying, and disrespectful. Before I say “A,” she is by the “Z.”
Well, physically abusing her will not be the way out.
1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Make a covenant that you will never hit her!
As you make up your mind to do this, to honour her, protect her, and take care of her, God will also honour His Word in your life.
I pray that God will honour you indeed, send help to you in your marriage and fulfill all His desires for your life!
The greatest consummation of love yet remains that which you do with the lover of your soul. Did the Holy Writ not rightly say that He is our husband?
Isaiah 54:5 (KJV) For thy Maker is thine husband…
Until this consummation happens, you don’t really know Him yet. It is beyond a romantic adventure, it is a covenant marked by circumcision of the heart!
I presume God wants his love consummated with you so that you can conceive of Him and you can bring forth that which He desires.
There is a place where the intercourse must take place, it is the place of worship, a place of diving into Him, a place of getting lost in His glory!
In that place, you are taken beyond the third heavens, you actually go into the very throne of God to obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need for your relationship or marriage!
Let’s Consummate Our Love
The intercourse with divinity is always a mountainous experience where you are taken into high levels of the revelation of Jesus, and the very life of God, Zoe begins to flow in your veins.
It is a place where your ears will be laid to the gate of heavens and angels would whisper into your ears and that which lies with the divine become available to the humane.
God Himself takes you to a crescendo as you worship and like Peter, you would want a tabernacle to be established there so that you can live there forever.
Oh, that place is a place of victory! Have you been there yet? Even if it’s for only once? It is a place you don’t want to leave, for in His presence is fullness of joy.
Let’s Consummate Our Love
It is a place where you taste the power of the ages to come and you simply become a sign and a wonder to your generation.
Can you hear God calling you? Can you hear His voice? He is beckoning to you and calling you to come and experience His fullness, and from that fullness, there will be an overflow into your business, career, relationship, and marriage!
Song of Solomon 1:2-3 (KJV) Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. [3] Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.
News filtered in a few days ago concerning the demise and home-going of a general in all respect, Pastor Taiwo Odukoya
The body of Christ, especially in Nigeria, got a rude shock and it dawned on us that this wonderful amiable man of God has transitioned into glory.
His first wife, Pastor Bimbo Odukoya shook the entire landscape of Christianity in Nigeria with her novel message to Singles and Married before she passed away at the age of 45. It was as though she had lived a hundred years in terms of her impact on the body of Christ.
A deep appreciation even emanates when you discover that her ministry which shook the whole world when there was no social media, began with her obedience to her husband, Pastor Taiwo Odukoya.
He told her to speak to the singles and that was it! This is an excellent lesson for young wives to learn from! Rev Victor Adeyemi, who met Pastor Taiwo after the demise of his wife, attested that Pastor Taiwo kept saying she was a submissive woman!
Pastor Taiwo Odukoya, a General Par Excellence
Fast forward, years after, Pastor Taiwo remarried, but sadly enough, his second wife also transitioned into glory.
He gallantly went through these earth-shaking griefs and continued in his assignment. He judged God faithful.
Now, he’s reunited with the loved ones he has lost, and he’s undoubtedly dancing and rejoicing, in that place where we would know as we are known!
Perhaps, you have a lot of questions in your heart, as I do too.
We are the ones that see such as loss, on the other side, death is conquered, it’s homegoing, and I can imagine mighty angels heralding and ushering this great man of God into eternity where there is no sadness, sorrow, or any form of grief.
Pastor Taiwo Odukoya, a General Par Excellence
Everybody has something great to say about this man. He certainly lived and fulfilled his ministry. I had an encounter with him when he came to minister at Premier Hotel, Ibadan, in 2008, hosted by Rev Niyi Eboda.
I was pastorin at Triumphant Assembly under Rev Femi Oduwole, and we needed some finances to move into a new auditorium. I simply emptied what was in the church account at the time (N10,000) and wrote him a check when I saw the grace of God in his life.
It was a Wednesday. By the weekend of that week, we had in excess of a Million Naira, (from the same members) and we were able to move!
The grace of God on him was undeniable!
Several years later, Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s Facebook page would be a platform that launched Kisses and Huggs Club into social media prominence!
Their impact cuts across! We will miss him, but he is happier where he is now!
We pray for his children, God will keep them and uphold them in Jesus’ name!
Let their lives challenge you to fulfill destiny and God’s purpose for your life!
