Help, I’m Married. I want to protect him! I just don’t want to expose her. That is why I’m not talking! Have you heard that before? This is a simple recipe for marital failure! When there is no sort of guidance or oversight, or, to put it another way, when there is no accountability, a relationship or marriage will always fail, according to experience, counseling, and even the Bible.
You are not intended to be alone because of how the kingdom of God is set up. Usually, isolation leads to desolation.
Here is God’s word:
God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land. (Psalms 68:6 KJV)
Help, I’m Married.
God, in His wisdom, has surrounded us with both spiritual and physical families. You must be able to recognize and stick with your spiritual family. God has appointed someone to be in charge of you, someone who can provide you with insight and who can speak into your life when things are rough.
There are times when you are faced with problems, but the answer is only a few words away in the words of a servant of God who has been anointed.
This is why I frequently get concerned around couples that have no one to answer to. Couples without a mentor over them often make me uneasy. Someone correctly stated that you need mentors to avoid life’s tyrants.
Help, I’m Married.
Singles, beware of getting involved with someone who has no one to answer to except themselves! Something isn’t right when he or she starts claiming that God is his tutor.
I’ll explain why it’s so crucial that you marry a responsible person right away.
Sometimes when a couple calls for counseling, there is only one course of action that makes sense after hearing what they have to say.
If you are already married, understand that marriage is not a plaything. It’s not something that just works out fine without you putting the necessary structures and deliberate effort into healthy marital habits.
Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed. (Proverbs 15:22 Message)
Help, I’m Married.
God has surrounded you with great people who can help. I do not advocate you talk to “everybody” but both of you must mutually agree on who you can talk to, whom you respect a lot. This person must be a phone call away and should also have a great example in his or her own marriage.
This way, you will avoid unnecessary heartaches in marriage. There is no point in giving yourselves a high BP, just simply get help.
Marriages Under Pressure. If you have any of the below wives, then you must work more on your marriage and pray more in your marriage. Interestingly, the weaknesses are actually strength turned inward. So, you want to help bring the best out of your spouse!
1. The Choleric Blooded Wife
She is reputed to be vivacious, quick-witted, emotionless in her speech and deeds, and capable of surviving on her own.
She doesn’t require outside inspiration or encouragement. She has a tendency to be quite independent, which can cause conflict in relationships.
A choleric wife typically has a temperamentally opposed husband. They should therefore learn to play to their abilities and to hide their deficiencies.
Marriages Under Pressure
2. The Career-Oriented Wife
A woman at the pinnacle of her profession has a tendency to become haughty if caution is not exercised.
In order to allow his wife to pursue her professional goals to their fullest potential, the husband must feel safe.
Some husbands may feel so frightened by their wives’ advancement. This heart is not right. Allowing her to go in the greatest direction is ideal.
Honor for her husband is the crucial word here for her to keep going without issues. The wife does not become arrogant.
3. The Unyielding Stubborn Wife
Some wives can be obstinate. In my counseling work, I’ve witnessed wives who will maintain their position despite being shown the scriptures. Of course, there are also stubborn men too.
How can you recognize an obstinate wife?
Wives who are obstinate don’t talk much; they simply won’t budge. They will simply be staring at you, but they will still act accordingly.
Also, this is not good. The couple’s prayer life won’t benefit from it.
Marriages Under Pressure
4. The Manipulative Wife
The manipulative wife has a number of tactics at her disposal, such as sobbing, having temper tantrums, withdrawing, droning on and on, refusing sex, and nagging until she gets what she wants.
She desires the man to line up at all times.
This is not an ideal marriage.
5. The Demanding Wife
This woman is demanding, and difficult, and only pays attention to what she wants or knows.
Anger is her main weapon.
She picks fights with everyone who dared to disagree with what she feels because she constantly wants to be told what she wants to hear.
Her husband constantly worries about what might occur.
This is a poor mentality that could harm the marriage.
She has limited knowledge, which is an issue, and she frequently has the wrong desires.
This Life No Balance? So brilliant, but jobless. So gifted, but largely unknown. So cute, but no husband. So responsible, but wifeless.
Anything out of balance becomes dangerous. A car out of balance can have an accident. Same way, a marriage out of balance can have marital accidents. Just like vehicles can be tagged accidented, marriages can be tagged accidented as well. Relationships can be tagged accidented! At such times, the status becomes “It’s complicated!”
A man can be handsome but very wicked.
That is why the scripture talks about evil men and froward men.
A lady can be so beautiful yet empty-headed. The scripture validates that as well.
Proverbs 11:22 (MSG) Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head.
This Life No Balance?
So people would often say humorously, “This life no balance!”
It is true that a life without God “no go fit balance!”
However, I bring you a word today, in your relationship, marriage, business, and life, God is bringing you balance in Jesus’ name!
God has in His hands, a measuring tape, coming as a surveyor to measure all areas that are out of alignment and bringing them into balance!
Zechariah 2:1-5 (MSG) [1] I looked up and was surprised to see a man holding a tape measure in his hand. [2] I said, “What are you up to?” “I’m on my way,” he said, “to survey Jerusalem, to measure its width and length.” [3] Just then the Messenger-Angel on his way out met another angel coming in [4] and said, “Run! Tell the Surveyor, ‘Jerusalem will burst its walls— bursting with people, bursting with animals. [5] And I’ll be right there with her’—GOD’s Decree—’a wall of fire around unwalled Jerusalem and a radiant presence within.'”
This Life No Balance?
They are a fine couple, but they have no kids yet
They have a lot of money, but their spiritual life is Zero
They appear so spiritual but impoverished as well
So brilliant, but jobless.
So gifted, but largely unknown.
So cute, but no husband.
So responsible, but wifeless.
Out of balance!
That story is changing today!
This is the fourth month and 4 is the number of balance! That is why a car has four tires!
God is bringing balance into every area of your life in Jesus’ name! Meditate on the above scripture and use it to pray into your life.
Most relationships and marriages are so riddled with unnecessary quarries and bickering. Some of these altercations are actually needless and totally avoidable.
On our WhatsApp Singles’ Hub and Couples’ Hub, we looked at this topic yesterday
I want to quickly share with you a few things I discussed yesterday!
I will talk about one of the principles you can apply to reduce quarrels to the barest minimum.
A Guide For Conflict Resolution
The 15 – 1 Principle
This is talking about the scripture in Proverbs 15:1
Proverbs 15:1 (KJV) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
In eliminating unnecessary quarrels, you have to learn how to respond with soft answers. You don’t have to sound angry and caustic every time, for those only stir up the heat.
I love the way the Message Translation puts it:
Proverbs 15:1 (MSG) A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.
A Guide For Conflict Resolution
Anger is like a bomb! But a gentle response can defuse it. You never see a person defusing a bomb with aggression. They do it gently and with the highest level of caution.
You can learn from this principle. You don’t have to put your “spouse in their place” every time.
Allow them to be themselves and make mistakes.
Have you ever wondered how your spouse has been existing so many years before you met? And they have not managed to “destroy” themselves all the while. God who has kept them will continue to keep them! Why do you think your spouse is the zenith of carelessness and you must keep correcting every time like it’s a ministry?
As a matter of fact, you don’t have to answer every statement. Neither should you respond when you know where it will lead.
I put a caption on social media some days ago. I said the things that you are seriously fighting about now, you will laugh over them in some years to come and wonder why you have to make a big deal out of such things.
The things that are drawing the most intense arguments now will not even draw a comment in some years to come.
Learn from this and apply it to your life! Once again, Happy New Month!
God’s Method for a Stronger Marriage. Single or Married, God has a method He has instituted to save you from unnecessary embarrassments and heartaches in your marital journey. He has a “deliverance” package for us, before the problem showed up!
Well, if He didn’t do that, He would have been an insensitive God, since this area is in major focus at certain seasons of our lives.
As a matter of fact, in the scripture, He actually used the word “deliver!”
Take a look at them:
For the woman:
Proverbs 2:12 (KJV) To DELIVER thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
For the man:
Proverbs 2:16 (KJV) To DELIVER thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;
God’s Method for a Stronger Marriage
Here is the provisioning system for your deliverance and protection when it comes to emotional decisions and marital conclusions.
In other words, if you follow the instructions here, you will not enter “one chance!”
What are these things that will “deliver” you?
It mentioned three things:
a. Wisdom b. Discretion c. Understanding
It all still boils down to one thing we have been emphasizing in these devotionals for years!
Spend time with God and His word before making decisions.
That is where you get wisdom, discretion, and understanding!
God’s Method for a Stronger Marriage
For those who are already married, this is also what will get you out of any storm or issue you are going through!
His word is powerful. His word is mighty!
As you read and study His word, wisdom, discretion, and understanding will come.
There will be clarity and everything will become explicit.
That which has been a puzzle is suddenly dissolved, and enigmas are unraveled.
As singles, when you are confused, get into that word. Clarity will come. Decisions to take will seep into your spirit.
As couples, rather than pick up draining quarrels with your spouse, use this deliverance method instead!
God still guides.
He has shown us His deliverance method, stick with it and He will bail you out of that imbroglio!
