Communication In Courtship Is A Sign. George and Sally are in love or so they claim. George had promised Sally marriage immediately they met. Sally’s joy knew no bounds. She was thankful that her “single years” are about to end.
However, rather than for the love to become established and grow, doubt increased in her. George was working in Port- Harcourt while Sally was in Lagos. George stopped calling, practically. Sally was doing the calling, making efforts while George kept saying he was busy.
Communication became a one-way street. Sally became the pursuer as she sensed that George was not going to change.
In no time she came frustrated and she gave up. The relationship came to a resounding crash.
On the part of Sade and Bode, it was Sade that stopped picking calls. Bode was confused since they are at different locations as well. She would say she was tired, she replied to chats with monosyllables, and some were not replied to until three days later. He eventually got the message and moved on!
My point this morning, once communication begins to die, that relationship will die as well.
Don’t spend your courtship years tearing yourselves apart in quarrels here and there because precious moments of communication will be lost.
Once this attitude and habit are taken into marriage, it can really be frustrating.
People in love talk! They want to talk all the time. The moment you see that communication is dwindling, there is an issue there. Communication In Courtship Is A Sign
The moment he tells you he is too busy and that you should already know he loves you, there is a problem.
The moment she is withdrawn and not talking and yet she is talking to others, there is a problem.
The moment you are seen as a nuisance without any cause as it were, there is an issue.
I pray God will grant you wisdom indeed!
Be blessed today in Jesus’ name! Communication In Courtship Is A Sign
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be deceived. I am sensitive to the Holy Spirit
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father lead me into your ordained relationship for me and teach me to work at it.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 11:6 (KJV) And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be committed to your relationship through consistent communication
After Failed Relationships, What Next? Hey! This must be my village people o!
Sandy has been in five relationships! Not one lasted a whole year! She moved from one guy to another seeking true love, but true love evaded her. She ended up being used by guys who could sense she was needy.
She began to feel something is wrong with her! Is something wrong with her? Is she under a curse? Her the village people meeting over her case at the village square under the Banana tree?
Let’s get into this!
There is nothing negative about failed relationships. It simply means you still need to learn more. What is negative there is refusing to learn and repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
In itself, nothing is negative about missing it. Even the Bible attested to that.
Pro 24:16 (KJV) For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.
Staying down by repeating the same issues is where the problem is.
So after failed relationships, what next? I will talk about one out of several things you can do.
Sit down. Calm down. Be calming down! Smiles.
Don’t be a Boy Scout! Don’t be jumpy! Cool those hot hormones.
The scriptures advise you to do the same.
Psa 46:10 (KJV) Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Be still! Hey, don’t rush into another relationship! It is in your stillness that you know God in your situation!
I particularly love the Message Translation:
Psa 46:10 (MSG) “Step out of the traffic…
After Failed Relationships, What Next?
Get out of the traffic of pursuing guys or ladies who don’t love you, of offering your body to get love, of allowing yourself to be emotionally manipulated all in the name of love! That is one traffic that is worse that Lagos traffic!
May God grant you more understanding! Have a fantastic day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be hasty. I am teachable.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me to be patient and wait on you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 46:10 (AMPC) Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t rush into another relationship within six months of a failed relationship.
Handling A Difficult Spouse. Yesterday, we looked at four of the ways we can handle a difficult spouse. We looked at:
1. Prayers
2. Patience
3. Perspective
4. Praise
We continue from here.
Handling A Difficult Spouse
5. Persist in doing good
1 Pet. 3:1-4 talks to women about dealing with a difficult husband. They should have a quiet and calm spirit (sweet spirit). It’s difficult but possible with the help of the Holy Spirit. Keep your smiles. Don’t retaliate. Avoid arguments. Avoid talking back or answering rudely.
Just keep calm. Don’t give fire for fire, it can burn down the house. You believe God is already fighting for you. Keep the atmosphere cool by being full of thanksgiving, worship, and praise.
1Pet 3:7 talks to husbands dealing with difficult wives. They should see their wives as the feminine part of the covenant of marriage that deserves to be treated with honor or else their prayers will be hindered.
When husbands treat their wives well in tenderness and with honor, God usually rewards them with abundant prosperity. Avoid yielding to the temptation to retaliate. Understand that there are some things you can never understand about being a woman. You just love her all the same and seek to be there for her. It is not everything you will criticize, pass judgment and try to fix.
Handling A Difficult Spouse
6. People’s intervention
This is important especially since not all types of difficult spouses or situations can be handled on your own. Sometimes you might need the intervention of professional counselors, therapy and someone to help you through with a difficult spouse. Especially in cases of infidelity. It must also be noted that you should be careful who you talk to about your spouse. Confidentiality must be maintained. Such a person should handle the issue maturely, offering solutions and not judgment or criticism
7. Packaging
This is keeping your soul and body together. Avoid pity parties and self-pity. Anything you put pity on does not heal on time. You feel bad about what is happening but keep faith alive. Faith will make you smile and give you a reason to dance. God is the judge and your covenant witness between the husband and wife. He still restores and compensates the offended.
Look good, because the truth is that there is still a lot of good in you. No body should determine your joy. Look good physically, intellectually and emotional. Don’t yield to depression. Tell yourself never again. Pick up yourself. Even God is saying, arise and shine.
Your marriage will thrive.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work. I will give myself to prayers, patience, I will have a better perspective, I will be persistent in doing good, so help me God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father give me your wisdom and strength by your Holy Spirit to navigate this times of difficulty
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Husbands, you in turn must treat your wives with tenderness, viewing them as feminine partners who deserve to be honored, for they are co-heirs with you of the “divine grace of life,” so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7 TPT
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the steps to dealing with, your spouse whenever he/she is proving difficult
Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover. Whatever you are experiencing now is a snapshot of the whole marital album, it is a trailer of the season movies in your marriage. Rev. Dunamis Okunowo
Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover. We are looking at The Incredible Hulk as a type of man or woman not to marry.
In the cinemas, the hulk brings himself to high levels of gamma radiation which results in his transformation into a monstrous green being, whenever he experiences negative emotions.
One type of man or woman you cannot marry is that man who looks cool on an average day but who turns into a monster at any little provocation as a result of anger that is uncontrollable
The hulk is known for turning into a monster when he’s livid with anger and causes destruction all over the place.
Yes, there are people who become destructive when they are angry. They will break stuff, destroy things and let out their anger in ridiculous ways.
The scripture clearly advises that you do not marry such a person. In fact, it says that you don’t become friends with persons with uncontrollable anger not to talk of falling in love with them.
Falling in love with a lover who has uncontrollable anger is like falling in love with a nemesis, as even your life is not safe, neither is theirs!
Pro 22:24 (KJV) Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
A word is enough for the wise. Don’t let anybody damage your exterior because you are in love!
Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover. How do you know an angry person?
The Hebrew word used in the above verse is “ânaph” which means to “breathe hard or to be enraged.”
You would know angry persons from their countenance, mien, reactions, outbursts, tones, body language, and dispositions.
The Message Translation puts it this way:
Pro 22:24 (MSG) Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads.
Yet another translation says
Pro 22:24 (GNB) Don’t make friends with people who have hot, violent tempers.
Perhaps, an even more risky arrangement is two angry people getting married. They will not likely go far in their marital journey before crashing their love vehicle with irreparable damages.
There were two angry brothers who came together in anger. It all ended in tears. They were scattered, divided.
Gen 49:5-7 (KJV) Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. [6] O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. [7] Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
As you can see, it is not really worth it getting married to an incredible hulk who will get angry at no notice, who will manipulate your emotions and beg you, but the damage is done and the next feud of anger could be the next moment.
Why live with a person with whom you have to hold a knife around you just in case?
Why subject your tender emotions to a violent emotion whose expression makes you a victim all the time?
Why get beaten over and over again till you are almost losing your mind because this person exhibits a dual personality or bipolar tendencies?
Today he is calm, loving, and romantic, the next moment, there is a lump on his head and he is fuming as if he will strangle you.
As a single, why allow him/her to make love to you and then make mincemeat of you the next moment?
Why give blow jobs (which is sinful in itself as singles) only to take back blows on your head?
Whoever did this to you does not love you! Are you really planning a wedding with such a person? Sit down and think, prayerfully, if that is what you want all your life.
Whatever you are experiencing now is a snapshot of the whole marital album, it is a trailer of the season movies in your marriage.
If you don’t like what you are seeing now, then run for your life! Run From The Incredible Hulk Lover
I think I will stop here this morning.
I pray that God will give you more understanding and guide you into a great marriage in Jesus name! Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry right
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 22:24 (AMP) Do not even associate with a man given to angry outbursts; Or go [along] with a hot-tempered man,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask that the eyes of your understanding be opened.
Dealing with A Difficult Spouse. Whether a spouse is perceived as difficult or they are actually difficult we need to arm ourselves with what to do. It also becomes a handy tool in helping others who are going through difficulty in their marriage.
We are to be reminded that the standard in our marriage is that of being Christ-like.
The same principle is used to solve little issues as well as big issues in marriage. Marriage is supposed to be till death do us part and we should not see divorce as an easy way out.
We are therefore to equip ourselves with tools to enable us to cope and manage in times of crisis.
Note that these steps do not exclude seeking and going for counseling (professional intervention) and seeking therapy for more difficult issues like infidelity, abuse of any kind, etc
Dealing with A Difficult Spouse.
The seven steps are:
1. Prayers
Please don’t underestimate the power of prayers. By prayers, I don’t mean complaining. There are principles in prayers. Don’t complain about your spouse to God, pray about and for him/her.
Prayer changes you, changes the atmosphere in the marriage, and changes your spouse. Our prayer has to be done in faith. We are to align our thoughts, actions, and words with our prayers. Don’t pray for your spouse and then nullify the prayers by talking evil of your spouse. Don’t talk about the situation, talk about the solution. Receive wisdom from God and walk in that wisdom.
2. Patience
You need patience. We obtain the promise (of a better marriage) by faith and patience. Sometimes it takes time before what we pray for manifests in the physical. Be patient and have a good attitude while at it. You will feel like giving up, don’t. If you give up, you give up too soon.
3. Perspective
You may just need to change the way you view the situation. What may be causing you sleepless nights may be solved by changing your perspective. If you will just show a little empathy. Try to be understanding. For example, if your spouse is frigid, don’t just scream at her. Understand and help her through the fact that she had been abused sexually. Understand your spouse’s background, and personality and use that to evaluate the issue.
4. Praise
When your spouse is being difficult, don’t throw away the baby with the bath water. There are still some good qualities in them. Focus on their good and praise them for those good virtues. The truth is that when we are having issues with our spouse we tend to see their weaknesses. Don’t yield to the temptation of complaining and nagging about their weaknesses.
These are four of the steps in Dealing with A Difficult Spouse. I will continue tomorrow by God’s grace.
Your marriage will thrive
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work. I give myself to the study of God’s word to know what to do. I have wisdom
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father give me your wisdom and strength to navigate this times
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And now let me speak to the wives. Be devoted to your own husbands, so that even if some of them do not obey the Word of God, your kind conduct may win them over without you saying a thing. For when they observe your pure, godly life before God, it will impact them deeply. 1 Peter 3:1 – 2 TPT
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the steps to dealing with your spouse whenever he/she is proving difficult
