As we continue in this series, we will look at another aspect today – “pray for yourself.” You know it’s very easy to judge others. You see them doing something you perceive to be wrong and bam! You find a word to quickly call them maybe out loud or in your mind. Your face even shows it even if you don’t say it.
That’s very natural. And God being merciful will give His Holy Spirit freely to you. The job of the Holy Spirit is to quickly and lovingly show or tell you some things.
One, the Spirit of God will tell you how you have acted like the person you are judging immediately. He shows you the many instances you have acted like them. That you are not any different from them. It is when this reality hits you that you will know you need to pray for yourself.
An example of this is when prophet Samuel told king David a story about a man and David was so quick to judge the man in the story. But when he realized he has acted like the man, he broke down and prayed. Learn to pray for yourself.
Another thing the Holy Spirit will do is to lead you towards repenting and asking for forgiveness immediately as well. He wants your remorse at the stage. And it is not a good thing to try and argue with the Holy Spirit.
Don’t try to say how different you are from the person or how the circumstances are not the same. It is the Holy Spirit you are talking with. He knows all things. He knows the minds of all men. He knows your thoughts, past, present and future. Just break down and pray for yourself.
Thirdly, He will reveal to you the probable reason why the person is doing what they are doing. He wants you to understand so you can empathize with them. This does not in anyway mean He accepts what they are doing. No! But He only wants you to not commit the sin of judging others thereby causing yourself to be judged as well. When He shows you this, it also makes you pray for yourself, so that you don’t fall into the same thing.
Finally, He could show you other ways you can help this person out. Apart from praying for them, He could show you what you have that they need and that you can give them. For instance, if you noticed a classmate who cheats during exams, you could pray for them and offer to teach them some school work after school hours. That’s what the Holy Spirit would want you to do.
Judging others does no good to anyone. Not to you or the other person.
May the Holy Spirit watch over your thoughts, words and actions. Amen.
Prayer: Sweet Holy Spirit, show me my faults. Brood over my words, thoughts and actions in Jesus’ name, amen.
Action point: Listen to the prompts of the Holy Spirit anytime you feel like judging someone, and pray for yourself.
There aremany reasons why your wife loses interest in bed with you.
This attitude is not to be ignored because it can potentially bring harm to marriage.
It can push a man without self control into the zone of adulterous escapades, and of course, that comes with its unpleasant and attendant consequences that are detrimental to the family and home.
When this happens over and over again, that marriage is in serious danger of being exploited by the devil.
What seems like occasional refusals can quickly degenerate to a point where the wife closes up her spirit and the husband starts looking elsewhere.
When you look at the scriptures, it advocates that you should not deny each other sexually.
As a counselor, I have to counsel not too few a couple on this area.
What are those reasons why a wife can suddenly lose interest, especially if she has been cooperative before?
1. When she is repeatedly hurt and disappointed
Yes, the man is the head of the house and he is supposed to have the final say.
But when the man refuses to let his wife talk all the time, shuts her up and mute her voice, it can make her withdraw emotionally. When she is withdrawn emotionally, she cannot enjoy jeru trip like she should.
She is not a prostitute. And because she is not, a sexual experience for her is a total experience that affects every part of her.
If she is unhappy while at it, she can have the feeling of being raped.
And when this happens continuously, she would associate pain to an experience that you are supposed to enjoy and which is supposed to transport you to a land of delight like never before.
I believe this is one of the reasons Apostle Peter said:
1Pe 3:7 (CEV) If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor…
Being thoughtful about her off bed will make her cooperate more on the bed. Invest in her emotionally. Stop hurting her over and over again. The moment you lose her emotionally, you will not enjoy yourself as well.
I am not justifying this attitude on the part of the wife, because this attitude is not the appropriate response to an insensitive husband.
Maybe he just does not understand how to treat a woman or how you want to be treated specifically.
That is not a sin in itself, he only needs to learn. So, talk to him. Explain, rather than withdraw, go quiet and sulk. Communicate. Express your frustrations without nagging and work together to build your home.
May God grant more understanding!
Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will cooperate with my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let your love be shed abroad in our home
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:7 (GW) Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding since they are weaker than you are. Honor your wives as those who share God’s life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.
There are myths every single should disbelief. Let me show you some.
1. The reason I am not married is because I am not beautiful
You see, beauty is in the beholder’s eyes. When you truly meet your spouse, you will be beautiful to him however you look.
Why do you think you are ugly? It is probably because some people told you that. Well, that is their opinion. However you look, somebody will soon see you and tell you you are beautiful.
I always say humourously that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You will be fearful (ugly) to some and you will be wonderful (beautiful) to others.
Psa 139:14 KJV I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
2. God is punishing me because of my past mistakes.
God never consults your past to determine your future. Let’s take a look at the scripture.
Heb 10:17 KJV And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.
God will not only forgive you, He will forget about it. He would erase it out of His records. And listen to me, what God has forgiven and forgotten, don’t let the devil who is the accuser of brethren hold you on it.
Here is what Message translation says:
Heb 10:17 MSG He concludes, I’ll forever wipe the slate clean of their sins.
What God has concluded on, don’t allow the devil to add another paragraph. Where God has put a full stop, don’t allow anybody to change it to a comma.
3. A woman can never successfully submit to her husband
Submission to one’s husband is not a negotiation, it is an instruction from God. When you submit to your husband, you will bring yourself into a season of unprecedented favour, an unleashing of creativity and flowing in the fullness of God’s blessings over your life. Why? Because you are obeying God, even when it is not easy.
1Pe 3:1-2 AMP (1) IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, (2) When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
4. There is certainly a curse working against me.
Curses are real. But the liberation from curses is even more real! The devil is wicked, but God is loving.
Through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, we have been redeemed from curses of the law. We have been made free. No devil should be allowed to lord it over you again!
Gal 3:13-14 MSG Christ redeemed us from that self-defeating, cursed life by absorbing it completely into himself. Do you remember the Scripture that says, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”? That is what happened when Jesus was nailed to the Cross: He became a curse, and at the same time dissolved the curse. And now, because of that, the air is cleared and we can see that Abraham’s blessing is present and available for non-Jews, too. We are all able to receive God’s life, his Spirit, in and with us by believing–just the way Abraham received it.
I will conclude on these myths tomorrow. Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am free from myths and wrong beliefs.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will deliver you from known and unknown myths
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Rom 5:5, KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Challenge every myth you know about marriage.
The power of a genuine prayer for something to happen or for someone to change can never be overrated. Instead of judging your friends, pray for them. Prayer is one mighty tool to use to create the change you want. In its purest form, it touches the heart of God and moves His hands to do the miraculous. And God always listens to a prayer said on behalf of someone.
When God hears your prayers concerning somebody, He listens. So pray for them. It is called intercession. When you intercede on behalf of someone, asking God to help them have a change of heart, He loves it. This is because God loves it when people change from being bad to good. That’s why He sent Jesus to die for us all
Instead of judging someone, pray for them. Speak to God about them. Ask God to help them see the errors of their ways and stop doing every wrong think they are doing. Give them your prayers instead of judging them.
Your prayer is a cry for mercy to God for them. You are telling God to look upon them with mercy and not on their wrongs.
Instead of the punishment that they should receive for their wrongs, ask the Lord to forgive them and make them new again in His sight, just like Jesus cried on the cross, asking our Heavenly Father to forgive us all. Learn to ‘pray for them.’
Pray as often as you can as the bible encourages to pray always.
Prayer is like preparing a bowl of stew. You first gather your ingredients, get the pot and fire ready and start the process. It takes time to prepare the soup and the process has to be followed if you want the stew done and ready.
Continue to pray and believe God will bring a change in them. Don’t forget our anchor phrase this morning – ‘pray for them.’
May the Lord bless you as you pray for people. Amen.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, fill me with the urge to pray for others instead of judging them. Help me to continue to do this, in Jesus’ mighty name, amen.
Action plan: Who is the first person you think you should start praying for? Ask the Holy Spirit to show you.
I discussed the topic “How To Overcome Hurt In Marriage” yesterday and today, I will be concluding on the topic.
We established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to wrought his 3 fold agenda in marriages which is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immune to the strategies and attacks of the enemy. He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snooze out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
Hurt is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God.
Getting rid of hurts and making sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise. See the spiritual implication of hurt and what it can potentially do to your marriage.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder.
There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim to the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle hurt include:
1. Vengeance or retaliation. This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or event that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degree of hurt, but whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our heart and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our heart against hurts is taking communion. Try it because it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also take authority over the hurt. Exercise authority over words that cause hurts. Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. Isaiah 54:17 KJV
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there are exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with , you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness defile you.
Let your heart be void of offence, bitterness or hurt against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be hurt. I refuse to be bitter.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to forgive those who hurt me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to get rid of offense
