Part of beingsincere and being open and transparent in marriage is being able to express yourself without feeling ashamed. This is why we are considering the topic Don’t Be Afraid of Being Needy In Marriage”
I know this could be difficult to do. I have been there before. My husband is a full-blown-blooded choleric. And clerics are very expressive and opinionated. They could be very blunt and believe why should they be diplomatic? In fact, the blunter the better. They are not apologetic at all.
In my own thinking as a phlegmatic, everything has to be with diplomacy. You have to think of not hurting the other person even if it means you get hurt instead. You have to be apologetic and so on.
My husband is of the opinion that if he needs anything he will ask. Jokingly or straightforward, he will ask. He believes there is nothing he should not be able to ask his wife especially Jeru trip(*winks). He is never ashamed.
I had to learn to ask and not be ashamed that I am needy.
Recently, I saw our Caucasian dog do this and the Holy Spirit ministered to me that it’s so easy to ask for what you want.
Shame is a sign you are not naked and transparent with your spouse yet.
Our huge dog, whenever you are outside will come to you, make sure you notice him and then lie down very close to you expecting that you use your leg to rub him. He shows pleasure and if you remove your leg he will use his own legs to touch you. A non-verbal way of saying “don’t stop”.
We as couples should always learn to ask politely and courteously from our spouse. Don’t let the unfavorable answer of our spouses discourage us. Just ask. It is either he/she says Yes, No, or some other time.
We all are needy, in one way or another. Where I am strong my husband is weak and he is strong where I am weak. God created it so. We need one another, but we have the responsibility of making our needs known.
Don’t be too egoistic and don’t be ashamed of your needs. God already knows you are needy. Don’t also try to be humble unnecessarily by sacrificing your needs. Talk about your needs as a woman. Talk about your needs as a man, which includes jeru trip, intimacy, affection, time out even the need to be pampered.
Let’s be expressive even if we have to learn it.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I put God first place in my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, empower me to do thy will, at all times
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to sow a good seed into her today!
One of the greatest challenges that a man will face is how to care of his wife. This is not because a man is reluctant to do so, but simply because the definition of care in a man’s brain is sometimes exact opposite of how a lady defines care. I am not talking about when you’ve just fallen in love. Mostly at that time, your eyes are not open to reality then. At the times when you’ve just fallen in love, everything he does is okay and everything she does is okay!
A woman sees C-A-R-E as availability, attention and some good money! A man often sees C-A-R-E as money, money and money, and that is where the problem is?
Didn’t I just send you money? How can you say I don’t care? Didn’t I just send you to Dubai? You see, a woman that truly loves you doesn’t mind going to Dubai, but she doesn’t want to go alone! She wants to go with you!
I know there are some women who see C-A-R-E as money, money and money! This isn’t a genuine love, and at the end of the day, they are still frustrated despite the money because the real need is never met!
This is the bane of ladies who are of marriageable age, but refuse to love and be loved appropriately because of some man who is giving them money or who rents an apartment for them somewhere.
You call them big girls, but they are really small inside! The big girls are not the ones spending some ill-gotten money that they accumulated from using their bodies as a commodity; the big girls are the ones who refuse to compromise in the face of provocation, who decides to stand up for God!
If you are engaged to a lady who never asks for your time and attention but only wants you to send her money, you should really be worried! She is probably getting the emotional fulfillment somewhere else and you are just a tool in her hands, to get money!
On the other hand, if a lady never stresses you for money but only asks that you call regularly and be there for her, she really loves you! Though, there could be an extreme of this as well, when the lady in question is overly needy because of past experiences and self-esteem issues.
So how do you take care of lady? Be there for her. Take care of her by spending time with her. But, I have to provide for her, so I am busy and I have to be away! Yes, but you have to create time out of no time, to be available for her. May you not get the money and then lose her!
You need to understand that it is a need of hers! Initially she might not complain because the money is always there, but after a while, she would rather let you have her than the money having her.
Why do you think some rich women get depressed? Haven’t you seen ladies living in palatial mansions who are so unhappy and depressed?
Money answereth all things…that it can answer!
Like it is often said, can money buy sleep? Nay, it may buy waterbed, not sleep!
Can money buy a good heart, nay, it may get a beautiful face, not necessarily a good heart. One of the worst things that can happen to a man is a stunningly beautiful face sitting on an evil heart! Conversely, one of the greatest tragedies that can happen to a woman is a stupendously rich man and a handsome face sitting on an abusive, egocentric and violent man!
His money buys your body, your mouth and your mind! You can’t even think for yourself, that is not marriage! Sadly this is where a lot of ladies find themselves! A lady called me sometimes ago weeping profusely; that she has all the money but she cannot spend! She was living in a prison!
It is for this reason that when you are talking of a relationship or marriage with a person, the most singular important factor is God’s choice for you!
And then some people will come up with some funny ideas like; what if God gives me somebody I don’t love? What you don’t know is that God is not man, that arithmetic or geometry will never be.
That God will lead you to somebody you hate all your life? It never happens like that! You will always love what God offers because He gives you the best! Yes, initially you may not cooperate with God’s plan because of selfishness and greed, but when you come to embrace God’s plan, you will see the wisdom of God, and you will be full of praises to God!
Only God knows the man or woman that will last the whole journey with you. Only God knows the one that will pack his or her load along the way. Only God knows the one that might pull the trigger on you five years later. Only God knows the one that wouldn’t mind using you for some ritual… because God looks into the heart…while you are looking at the bank account and the face! You see why it is important you follow God’s direction?
What if you are already married and you feel you made a mistake? Stay there and correct that mistake, with prayers, good attitudes, wisdom and a lot of maturity, God can heal your marriage and make it good!
May God help us all!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not confused. I am being led of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord lead me into that place by your side.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up. (Psalms 5:3 KJV)
In today’s article, we would be examining how children can pray, as seen in the Bible. The bible is full of so many power-packed prayers from ordinary people like you and me, who faced one issue or another at different times in bible history.
It’s a reservoir of prayers said out of fear, pain, and loneliness. Some were faced with destruction and had to cry out for help. Some more said prayers out of confusion, hopelessness, and despair. Prayers for mercy, deliverance, and strength are found in the bible, said by people who were faced with huge challenges. And in these stories we see how children can pray.
Sometimes, God can lead you to a particular book, chapter, and verse in the bible as a guide to pray with. When directed to read from the bible, obey. That way, you get to know what God wants to teach or tell you about that burning issue in your mind.
David praised and worshipped God a lot in the psalms. His prayers also showed that he too had fears and prayed about them. He had hope in God to save him from all his enemies. And the Bible records that God gave him victory over all his enemies. Reading these life stories, you learn how children can pray.
When he was afraid, lost, and unsure of what to do –“Later David prayed to the Lord. David said,
“Should I go up to any of the cities of Judah? The lord said to David, “Go”. David asked, “Where should I go?” The Lord answered, “To Hebron”. 1 Sam. 2:1 ICB
As you learn how children can pray, include reading and meditation from the bible. God bless you as you do so. Amen
Prayer: Lord, as you lead me to read the bible, help me to grasp the meaning of what I read. Help me meditate on these readings so I can learn how to pray. Amen.
Action point: Read some Psalms of David. Note the different ways he prayed for help, forgiveness, and other things.
Declaration: Prayer is the master key, so I use it well.
Today’s Focus: Prayers For The Manifest Presence Of God
Thanksgiving
Thank God for making His manifest Presence available to you.
Isaiah 37:16 (KJV) O LORD of hosts, God of Israel, that dwellest between the cherubims, thou art the God, even thou alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth: thou hast made heaven and earth.
Nation/Church
Pray for God’s manifest Presence to bring joy and peace to your nation and the church
Isaiah 55:12 (KJV) For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
Pastors/Parents/Mentors
Pray for God to bless your pastors, parents and mentors
Isaiah 55:13 (KJV) Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.
Finance
Declare that the manifest Presence of God brings you abundant supply
Philippians 4:19 (AMP) And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Family
Declare salvation over your family
Deuteronomy 1:33 (KJV) Who went in the way before you, to search you out a place to pitch your tents in, in fire by night, to shew you by what way ye should go, and in a cloud by day.
Warfare
Come against schemes of the devil to rob you of God’s manifest Presence
Exodus 15:3 (KJV) The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.
Desire for the Month
Pray for your desires this month
Exodus 33:14 (KJV) And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.
Psalm 91 Declaration
Psalms 91:1 (KJV) He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
Blood Declaration
By the Blood of Jesus I have God’s manifest Presence
Revelation 12:11 (KJV) And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
Pray that the manifest Presence of God will encompass you, causing His love to flow ceaselessly through you
Philippians 1:9 (KJV) And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;
Healing
Declare healing over that sickness
Malachi 4:2 (KJV) But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.
Favour/Mercy Today
Pray for God’s mercy through His manifest Presence
Psalms 119:41 (KJV) Let thy mercies come also unto me, O LORD, even thy salvation, according to thy word.
This devotional is continued from yesterday where we talked about dangerous myths singles have to forgo.
5. I don’t have to get married. I can just have some kids and then live my life
When you think like this, something is missing somewhere. This kind of thoughts is a rebellion to God’s order and principles.
A person that says he or she doesn’t need marriage and yet sleeps around, is trying to get the benefit of marriage without the responsibilities attached to it. That would be adulterous. That is not God’s plan and you can imagine what the children raised in that kind of scenario will turn out to become.
6. God doesn’t love me. I cannot see His love
God will never forget you. God will never leave you.
“But Zion said, The LORD hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” (Isa 49:14-16, KJV)
I love Amplified Version of verse 16
“Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands; [ O Zion ] your walls are continually before Me.” (Isa 49:16, AMP)
Your picture is tattooed on the palm of God’s hands, not just one palm, but both palms.
Believe in His love. Respond to His love and you will even see His love the more. You respond to God’s love by obedience. Obedience to God unleashes the love and benevolence of God even more in your life.
I pray for you this week, may you experience God’s love this week.
May you experience the love of God in a special way, in a way that is specific to your present needs, in a way that will replace your tears with a laughter, in a way that will turn your tests into testimonies, in a way that will minster specifically into your heart, in a way that will melt away all doubts and replace them with assurance of His love!
May the blessings inherent in His love be your portion. I pray that that every confusion will be annihilated even by His love on Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am loved of God. I am free from dangerous myths.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will deliver you from dangerous myths.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Rom 5:5, KJV)
