What God Wants From All Wives. There comes a time when we need to tell ourselves the truth as read in the manufacturer’s manual, the Bible. The Bible is the only book that tells us the truth about any situation. Thank God the truth about everything is available in the Word.
There is a long portion of the Bible that is directed to wives. Let us take a close look at what the manual for marriage has to tell us. The Passion Translation puts it in ways we can read and understand, in contemporary English.
And now let me speak to the wives. Be devoted to your own husbands, so that even if some of them do not obey the Word of God, your kind conduct may win them over without you saying a thing. For when they observe your pure, godly life before God, it will impact them deeply. Let your true beauty come from your inner personality, not a focus on the external. For lasting beauty comes from a gentle and peaceful spirit, which is precious in God’s sight and is much more important than the outward adornment of elaborate hair, jewelry, and fine clothes. Holy women of long ago who had set their hopes in God beautified themselves with lives lived in deference to their own husbands’ authority. For example, our “mother,” Sarah, devoted herself to her husband, Abraham, and even called him “master.” And you have become her daughters when you do what is right without fear and intimidation. – 1Pe 3:1-6 (TPT)
This scripture addresses issues in marriage, and it is addressed to the wives. We will address the issues directed to the husbands tomorrow by the Grace of God.
Verse 1
1Pe 3:1 (TPT) And now let me speak to the wives. Be devoted to your own husbands, so that even if some of them do not obey the Word of God, your kind conduct may win them over without you saying a thing.
This verse deals with issues of husbands that are not sensitive or caring to their wives. It advises wives to be devoted to their husbands and have kind conduct which will eventually melt their husband’s heart to them. This will happen without them nagging their husband.
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So nagging does not work. Replace it with being devoted to your own husband. Being devoted simply means being very loving and loyal, spirit, soul, and body. So, wives, God expects you to be loyal and loving to your spouse.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive strength to be who God has made me to be
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray for a submissive heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief – we’re not oblivious to his sly ways! (2Co 2:11 MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read the bible passage in other translations
In our many years of counseling married couples, we have had to handle different kinds of issues in marriage. Some of the issues, simple and direct while others are pretty complicated and not direct at all.
The Holy Spirit helps us handle these issues. Some of these issues have their root causes in some generational issues, a complex parental issue, a background issue or a habit that was developed while growing up.
Some husbands are good with silent treatment to their wives. There could be a lot of reasons responsible for this kind of treatment but it takes digging into the issue to get to the root cause.
It will be good to note that there could be different things responsible for such actions. The husband could be frustrated at the wife nagging. The husband could be having issues at work. The husband might have difficulties communicating his deepest feelings. The husband might grow up seeing his dad do the same to his mum. The husband may be involved in extra marital affairs, thus his cold actions. The husband might be dealing with issues that the wife knows nothing about. It could be an act of wickedness on the husband’s part.
So, in the scenario above, let’s assume we are in the shoes of the wife, we have to be tactical in finding out the real cause of our husband’s coldness. E.g if he is cold because he is having an affair and we treat it as having issues at work or overact believing he is mean, we would have ended up majoring on the minor and minoring in the major, and not dealing with the issue.
That is why we have to depend on the Holy Spirit in handling issues in our marriage. Some issues may be complicated while some are not as complicated.
Let’s try to be more patient and think deep through the issues that may arise in our marriage.
Let’s also be prayerful, asking God for the spirit of wisdom and revelation. We also need discernment to discern the root cause of issues.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a discerning spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for the spirit of discernment.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Celebration is the source of life and joy. Keep Celebrating. If you want to experience constant life and joy in marriage, learn to celebrate. Let there be a constant feast in your marriage.
By feast, I don’t mean a party. It is more of the condition of the heart than it is a physical thing.
All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. – Pro 15:15
All forms of moodiness and gloominess are not meant to be allowed in your home. You have to learn to disallow certain things in your home and family. You allow joy and happiness.
Celebration is something you practice consciously. You make it a habit in your family. There are a lot of opportunities to celebrate that God brings our way. We should seize these opportunities.
Celebration puts us in faith. Abraham celebrated God by giving glory to God even when the covenant child was not even born. His celebration kept his faith alive.
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When you learn to celebrate, you acknowledge God as the source of your very life. You recognize God as the Lord over your marriage.
There are several opportunities in which we have to be sensitive to celebrate. Some people in a bid to appear humble say to celebrate is not to be sober like the Bible says. But the same bible says we should rejoice and again it says we should rejoice.
To celebrate is to be thankful and grateful. Celebrate every of your birthday. Celebrate the life and the lives of all those around you. Be grateful to God for victory and sparing your life. Many have been laid aside, so be grateful and celebrate life.
Celebrate your children. Celebrate your husband. Celebrate events. Create memorials. Celebrate the beginning of the term for your children. Celebrate the end of term. Celebrate anniversaries, Christmas, holidays. Look into each and find out what to celebrate.
Make things special. Make every dinner and lunch a memorable one. Let your spouse and children have sweet memories. Celebrate your pastors, your boss. Celebrate your parents, your siblings, celebrate everything and anything.
As you celebrate, you will have more reasons to celebrate.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to celebrate at every opportunity I get.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to love my husband/wife well
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25 [KJV]Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Husbands should endeavor to pray for their wives daily. This may sound religious but I have found it to work. Apart from the fact that it draws the husband to God, making him take his rightful place as the priest, it takes the pressure off the wife also.
Everybody now looks up to God who is able to transform our marriage and make us better people. The focus shifts to God. The husband sees God as the One who will answer his prayers and he’s patiently waiting on God.
It also affords the husband to pray for those virtues he likes to see in his wife. Praying together brings God into the scene where He becomes a partner with us. He sees to it that there are changes and our marriages become better.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. – Eph 5:25 – 28
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The husbands should be responsible in the transformation process of their wives. They should be committed to seeing their wives transformed to what they want them to be.
So dear wives, a little trick that works is to always ask your husband to lay his hands on you and pray for you. It gives your husband a feeling of your being submissive to him and a willingness to want to please him. It will also reduce quarrels. You can’t be fighting and your husband praying for you.
Note that the devil will try and fight this. He hates this kind of unity and agreement because of the power it generates. Even when there is a fight, make sure you apologize and ask your husband to pray for you.
For example, if your husband is always complaining that you are slow, let him begin to talk to God about it. So he prays for you that God should make you faster or quicker in doing your things.
Two things will likely happen. It is either he begins to see himself as complaining and begins to see the good side of your being slow, or he accept you that way and work on being more patient. If he still complains, you tell him, Senior, we have prayed about it.
In this way, the wife takes the pressure of performance off her and allows the process of change to take its course. You could use this method to kick start praying together for those who don’t pray together at all.
May God give us victory, Amen!
God bless our homes and marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I cooperate with my spouse to have an award winning marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to love my husband/wife well
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25 [KJV]Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
How To Fall In Love Again With Your Spouse. During the pandemic, it was recorded that in some places in China, there were more divorce cases than ever before.
Why was this? Husbands and wives were not used to being at home together. They were simply flat or roommates who just shared the house and essential commodities together.
The truth is that we may be used to our own space, being alone doing our own things, and being in control of our own time. It may first of all be awkward being home with the kids and your spouse, not just for a few hours but for weeks, so you have to learn to be very patient and determined to enjoy the time spent with your spouse.
When both spouses are at home with the kids, it is also a good time to bond well, so I am pointing out few ways to bond with your spouse and kids.
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1. Depending on what age your kids are, the younger ones will do well with playing around. Be creative and invent plays, do hide and seek, trust God for strength to roll on the carpet with them.
2. Cartoons are good. You can unwind with them watching and enjoying their world with them. Don’t let the cartoons be too much.
3. Do some intellectual talks and ask personal questions about their friends and special friends. Attend to their many questions.
4. Take time to teach your girls new dishes. For the boys, let them use their energy to help out in the house.
5. Play games with the whole family and it is the best time for drawing the quiet ones from their shell.
6. Be happy and content with what you have. Create fun out of what you have. Do a lot of teasing and rough plays. Never allow any member of the family to be moody
7. Be pleasant to your spouse and don’t do things that will spark up arguments.
8. Make sure you have sex as often as possible. This will keep the bond between you and your spouse. The tension will also reduce between the two of you.
9. Be very patient with your spouse as it may take some time for them to adjust to being with you. Pray for the Holy Spirit to help you and teach you to meet your spouse’s needs.
10. Give attention to your spiritual bonding. Take time to play together and read your bible and have bible discussions together.
11. Ensure finances don’t cause you to get frustrated. I know it’s difficult but please try. Trust in God together for open heavens. Do a lot of cuddling and please help each other do house chores.
I hope these few tips will go a long way to help you bond well with your family.
God bless you family
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a loving spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to love my husband/wife well
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
