I am sure Peter must have settled a lot of quarrels for many wives. Many felt invaded or, cheated, and that it’s just not fair being a woman.
They felt they had no rights and they are being trampled upon. Apostle Peter must have had compassion for them. Trying to solve their problems; which varied in dimensions, and seemly complicated.
He, by the Holy Spirit’s inspiration, gave this one all-purpose solution. If every wife follows this instruction they will solve all their marital issues and problems.
I got to a point in my life where I realized this very truth.
The instruction is in 1 Peter 3: 1-6, it is what I call the Honor code for all wives.
In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God. For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them]. It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him Lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you]. -1Peter 3: 1-6 (AMP)
The instructions here are very profound, yet simple and well spelled out.
I want to admit it won’t come naturally to obey this. You will only obey when you give heart to it, study it and spend time meditating on it, study every word and prayerful soak them onto your spirit.
I pray God grants us strength to be doers and not hearers only deceiving ourselves.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise wife, I obey the scriptures, and I honour my husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, please work on my heart not to reject your word at any point in time
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. -1 Peter 3:1-3 (NIV)
In the early days of our marriage, I get angry very easily. It was a kind of subdued anger, not enough for me to raise my hands against my wife!
I have never done that and will never do that, no matter what! That is not a manly thing to do! It is unscriptural, and your prayers will be hindered when you raise your hands against a lady.
But, I used to be impatient. I am a quick person but my wife takes her time. I wanted to change her. When I am angry, I start lecturing my wife. After a while, I just had to change because the lecturing thing was not working. I had to learn early in marriage, to calm down when I am angry and then discuss it.
Over the years, I have come to learn to smile at some of the things that get me bothered and aggravated and looking back at those years, I wondered why I had to be angry in the first place! We were not meant to be the same way! A book on temperament I read was what delivered me!
If you are married to someone with an anger problem, here is some advice for you.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. –Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)
A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. –Proverbs 15:1 (MSG)
Don’t get angry together and at the same time! Learn to calm down for each other! Get books and read and deal with that anger so that you don’t end up raising angry children who will take the anger to another level.
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. –Proverbs 16:32 (KJV)
A few things to do if you have problems with anger
1. Pray about it and ask God to help you by His Spirit
2. Seek help from your pastor or mentors
3. Stay in God’s word. Your soul can be restored when you meditate regularly on God’s word
4. Get good books that address the weakness and study
5. Discuss with your spouse and look at how you can deal with the weakness
6. Learn to keep quiet when you are angry. You often say things you will regret later, but the words, like swords could have done harm.
7. Do not make quick decisions while you are angry. Your sense of judgment is warped at such times.
8. Forgive easily. Don’t be revengeful and stubborn. Let God handle the situation for you.
9. Don’t allow anger and hurts to push you into sexual sins because you want to get back at your spouse. That will complicate issues for you.
10. Don’t listen to someone who appears ‘nice’ and wants you to sin when you are hurting badly. It is usually a trap of the devil to complicate issues when a ‘nice’ person suddenly shows up when you are at loggerheads with your spouse. Be careful!
I rebuke every spirit behind anger and wrath in your life, marriage in Jesus name. I pray for God’s help over you in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am calm. I am not an angry person.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to resist unnecessary anger
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go –Proverbs 22:24 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read a book on dealing with anger
There is nothing that kills marriages faster than what I want to write about today. Anger! In the verses below, Simeon and Levi are brothers, but their combination was a tragedy! Both of them had anger problems. What was the eventuality? They were divided and scattered!
Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel. –Genesis 49:5-7 (KJV)
That is exactly what happens to two angry unrepentant people in a marriage. That marriage cannot survive it. Look at the way the Message translation puts it:
Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. I don’t want anything to do with their vendettas, want no part in their bitter feuds; They kill men in fits of temper, slash oxen on a whim. A curse on their uncontrolled anger, on their indiscriminate wrath. I’ll throw them out with the trash; I’ll shred and scatter them like confetti throughout Israel. –Genesis 49:5-7 (MSG)
One angry person can curse a lot of havoc, not to talk of two angry couples!
Are you the type of person that is ready to fight at the drop of a hat? You need to consciously and deliberately start working on that anger problem because it can ruin precious opportunities.
There is a place for a level of anger because we are all human. There is also a place for righteous indignation. But the type of anger that is dangerous is the one that lingers unnecessarily and makes you do things you will later regret.
This type of anger is almost a stupid one because you know you will eventually regret your words and actions!
Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. –Ecclesiastic 7:9 (KJV)
Message translation is quite interesting:
Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head. –Ecclesiastic 7:9 (MSG)
I once heard a man of God in one of his messages, where he said he used to have anger problems until he read the above scriptures.
To be continued
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am calm. I am not an angry person.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to resist unnecessary anger
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go –Proverbs 22:24 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read a book on dealing with anger
3. Never allow anybody to come and live with you in the house without the full agreement of your spouse. If your spouse is not in support, your attempt to help others can be at the expense of your marriage and it can drive you apart.
Many marriages are under tremendous pressures because the wife is not only taking care of her husband but several siblings at a time. Issue will necessarily come out of this.
4. Never oppose your spouse openly. Don’t build walls against yourself. If you must correct your spouse, don’t do it in the presence of his friends and colleagues, you might end up adding more to the issue.
However, you can always have a confidant with whom both of you agree you can discuss with, because there are times you really need to pour your hearts out.
5. Never get close to others other than your spouse. Be your spouse’s friend and never allow anybody to come in between you.
There are Delialahs, Jezebels, Amnons, Jonadabs and so on. The moment you know, and you always know that you are getting up close and emotional to someone apart from your spouse, cut it off, or else you will soon be in serious problems. The moment you can hide things from your spouse, it is the beginning of problems.
The moment you can discuss your spouse with colleagues and they discuss theirs with you, you are going too far. The devil will set a trap. Avoid distractions.
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My spouse is second to none but God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach us to be a skillful couple in loving you and loving ourselves
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2Co 2:11 MSG After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief–we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse on how you can love each other better.
SINGLES – Dear Pastor, Can I Kiss My Fiancé or Fiancée?
Continued from yesterday…
This is because it will always lead to something else! What you did the last time will not satisfy you the next time you meet, and before you know it, there will be a compromise.
If you are kissing someone who is not your wife somewhere and I bump into you as your pastor, what will happen? You will quickly apologize. Why? You are doing something out of place.
On the other hand, if I am kissing my wife somewhere and you bump into us, it is still you that will apologize because you are interrupting us and what we are doing is in place!
I can’t walk into a place now and then you grab my wife to kiss her and then tell me you are greeting her. I will remove my suit and fight you!
But candidly speaking, you may not find any scripture in the Bible that says kissing is a sin, but it will surely lead you into sin because of the law of progression. It is better to stay off.
After marriage, if you decide to kiss your spouse for a whole day non-stop, God will not frown at it, because your bodies belong to each other.
Don’t be deceived that since God says not to fornicate, kissing must then be a way out to relieve pressures!
You cannot kiss strangers you met two hours ago all in the name of expressing your love. The power of life and death lies in your mouth, so says the scriptures. You want to be careful then with whom you get entangled and lock that mouth with!
There are people you kiss and destinies are swallowed up! There are strange lips all over the place and that is why it is important you follow God’s order. I am a Pastor for close to twenty-five years and I can tell you my eyes have seen a little and my ears have heard enough to make them tingle.
Ladies, you cannot submit your lips to a guy as if you are submitting a sheet of paper in the examination hall. Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Guard it. If the guy or the lady is hungry, must it be your lips that would be eaten? Honour yourself and honour God’s word so that God will honour you.
I have seen a guy who only kissed someone he met and he became mentally unstable from then. I have had to pray for a lady who practically lost her mind because of sexual sin!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to discern between positive and negative influences in my life and grace to avoid the negative.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In Jesus’ name, I resist the power of negative influence over my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 7:25 MSG The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
