Hey there! So, you’re on the quest for the perfect life buddy? Let’s break down the five must-haves in a potential spouse.
I met my wife when I was twenty-four and she was twenty-one, while on campus, some twenty-eight years ago! And yes, there was something I was looking out for even though I was young then! Let’s take a look at a few of these elements as they will help us in our quest for a godly lover!
The Big G – Fear of God:
Alright, first things first – the fear of God. Not the “oops, I forgot to do my chores” kind of fear, but more like having a super cool and understanding boss. Beauty fades! Beauty is not the first thing. Some strange women are beautiful and some wicked men are handsome.
But if you are blessed with a handsome man or a beautiful woman who also has the fear of God, you are blessed indeed.
Do you know why I have been faithful to my wife? Do you know why I don’t have girlfriends all over the place? The only reason I have not compromised is that I have the FEAR OF GOD! That was what Joseph had and he ran away from free sex. So, go for the fear of God! Beware of people who have the fear of God temporarily just to get what they want.
Keeping It Real – Integrity and Sincerity:
Next up, we’re talking honesty, integrity, and no cheating at board games!
The scripture says something powerful: The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. (Proverbs 11:3 KJV)
Now, if you come up with arguments like, there is no sincere man, every man is bad and this and that, that is what you will attract. You cannot attract what you don’t believe exists! Don’t conclude on humanity because of your experience with one man! All men are wicked, you are wrong! All ladies are stupid, you are wrong as well. You need to renew your mind by God’s word and to believe God for the best.
I will conclude this topic tomorrow. Good morning!
How should a person love their fiancee or spouse? That is what I will be looking at this morning. Love is an action word and if there are no actions to show you love her, you don’t love her in the real sense. Just like respect is a big deal for the guys and it is God’s order that their fiancee and wife respect them out of honor to God and not necessarily because he deserves it.
The same way, God expects and requires that every man loves his own fiancee.
One of the marks of maturity is when a man has the ability to overlook the weakness of his fiancee and despite all, still love her unconditionally.
Eph 5:25 (MSG)
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting.
As husbands-to-be, you are to model Christ. Your leadership role is that of a servant leader. Your headship over her is not an authoritarian rule but one marked with sacrificial love.
One that is patient and kind. One that is meant to nurture and bring out the best in her.
Loving your fiancee begins from the time of your courtship and not when you are married. You start walking by the principle of genuine, God kind of love. This love definitely does not include sleeping with her or dishonoring her body. Any guy who sleeps with a lady before marrying her has shown the highest level of dishonor for the lady. That definitely is not love.
I do not condemn any body because most of these things were done in ignorance. But repentance is needed especially now that you know. Not engaging in pre-maritals is the honor you give to God that the marriage institution is ordained by God.
You are to love her like your own body because she actually is. You begin to learn to treat your fiancee as you would treat yourself. Treat her with dignity, don’t shout on her. Don’t shut her up. Don’t ignore her or her opinions. Don’t compare her to other ladies, don’t put attention on her weak areas.
Learn to celebrate her, appreciate her and hold her in high esteem.
Loving her is every man’s God given assignment. Don’t fail in this assignment.
Let’s dive into the respect pool, especially regarding our men. Like, seriously, why is respect such a big deal for them?
It’s not about whether your guy is a superhero or not. It’s more about God’s grand plan – respect and honor are the secret sauce to keeping the relationship vibe alive.
Living life by God’s rules is like sticking to a recipe. No arguing, no adding your secret spices – just follow the script. And guess what? Your opinion doesn’t get a starring role. It’s all about playing by God’s rules.
Now, for all you single ladies out there, respect isn’t just a married folks’ thing. It starts way back in courtship. If you’re dissing your dude-to-be now, turning into a respect queen will be difficult after tying the knot.
And hey, respect and submission are not forced on anyone. The Bible’s like, “Respect and submit to your hubby.” Simple, right? So if a guy is not who you can respect, honor, and admire to the point of submitting to him, DON’T marry him.
Marriage is like a legal pact, and breaking it is a big no-no. So, if you’ve decided to say “I do,” it’s like signing a respect contract.
All attention is placed on the head because that is where the seat of decision, thinking, sight, speech, smell, hearing, and eating is. All vital action takes place in and on the head. Beauty and radiance, intellect, and reasoning are all found on the head.
Yes, the body is very important too. But by design, the head gets the full attention and responsibility rises and falls on the head. The lady or wife is equally important.
Let’s say she is the heart. We know there is no life apart from the heart. The head honors the heart because of its life-giving ability. But the heart is secured and protected because of its makeup and vulnerability.
That is God’s design. And it makes a whole lot of sense, both logical and spiritual sense.
Respect is:
a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
To help you learn respect go through the definition and synonyms of respect and note where you are lacking.
Synonyms: esteem, admire, think highly of, have a high opinion of, hold in high regard, hold in (high) esteem, think much of, approve of, appreciate, cherish, value, set (great) store by, prize, treasure, look up to, pay homage to, venerate, revere, reverence, adulate, worship, idolize, put on a pedestal, lionize, hero-worship, honor, applaud, praise, favor
Eph 5:22 -24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their husbands in everything.
In the realm of matrimony, there exist certain indispensable elements that serve as the lifeblood of every successful union. Let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of what makes a marriage thrive
1. Keep the Chatter Flowing
Picture this: a friend once asked, “What are the three crucial things in marriage?” The reply echoed, “Communication, communication, communication!” Couldn’t agree more, right?
When the art of communication wanes, it’s like opening the door to a host of unwelcome guests—assumptions, suspicions, lies, and deceit. A marriage truly blossoms when both partners can freely articulate their thoughts and feelings. So, let’s make a pact to hear each other out!
Remember, when a man speaks, it’s often for a logical explanation. On the flip side, when a woman shares, it’s not merely an explanation; it’s an emotional release. Silencing her voice stores up tensions, akin to the silent magma beneath the earth’s surface—seemingly calm, but a volcanic eruption could be lurking.
2. Revitalize the Romance
In the marathon of marriage, pit stops are crucial. Take breaks from the daily grind and rediscover the magic that brought you together. Recall those pre-wedding sparks? Reignite them! Besides the spiritual recharge from prayer and Bible reading, spice up your life with moments of relaxation.
3. Seek Counsel
No marriage is an island; it thrives with the wisdom of mentors. Couples married for decades possess a treasure trove of insights. Seeking counsel isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a beacon of wisdom. Let’s drop the facade of self-sufficiency and embrace the humble act of seeking guidance.
4. The Power of Transparency
Sincerity and openness are the glue that holds marriages together. Imagine marriage as an open book club; discuss everything, leaving no room for secrecy. Hiding the plot twists only breeds mistrust. Adultery finds no foothold where transparency and honesty prevail.
As couples, let’s take note of these pillars—communication, rekindled romance, wise counsel, and transparent dialogue. They are the threads that weave a resilient and enduring marital fabric. May our unions be a testament to the beauty of connection and understanding!
Yesterday I started on this topic and looked at five symptoms of immaturity in your relationship. I will conclude this morning with the remaining five.
Immaturity, though not inherently sinful, serves as a breeding ground for destructive behaviors within the realm of relationships. Our journey takes us through the subtle intricacies that hinder personal growth and consequently erode the foundation of meaningful connections.
Hebrews 12:1 guides us on this expedition: “Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” It’s a call to shed the burdens of immaturity, run the race of growth with endurance.
The Greatest Pitfall: Selfishness
At the heart of immaturity lies selfishness. Relationships thrive on love’s sacrificial essence. An immature connection, clouded by self-centeredness, is destined for turbulence.
1 Corinthians 13:4-6 beautifully outlines the attributes of love, emphasizing its patience, kindness, and aversion to self-aggrandizement. A relationship devoid of these qualities is a ship sailing against the winds of maturity.
More Symptoms of Immaturity:
Neglecting God and His Principles The essence of a relationship is deeply intertwined with divine principles. Failing to prioritize God in the union reflects a lack of maturity. God’s principles are the bedrock, providing stability to the intricate dance of companionship.
Picture this: God, the relationship superhero, swooping in with a cape made of divine principles. Neglecting that? Well, it’s like trying to fight crime without your superhero suit.
Deceit in the Relationship Lies, deceit, and double standards are the hallmarks of immaturity. Sincerity and transparency, on the other hand, signify emotional maturity, paving the way for a relationship rooted in truth.
Financial Instability True financial stability extends beyond material possessions. It’s about self-sufficiency, the ability to meet one’s needs without dependency. A mature partner is not meant to be a financial crutch; instead, both contribute to the relationship’s prosperity.
Low Self-Esteem A mature individual understands their worth, deriving it from an unwavering self-esteem. Insecurity and seeking external approval are hallmarks of immaturity, capable of wreaking havoc and compromising one’s integrity.
Abusive Behavior Any form of abuse, whether verbal, emotional, or physical, is a glaring symptom of immaturity. Relationships are mutual, complementary endeavors where superiority has no place. Abuse dismantles the foundation of shared strength and understanding. Say no to abuse; it’s not in the script!
Shedding the garments of immaturity requires introspection, commitment to growth, and adherence to divine principles. May the journey towards emotional maturity be one guided by self-awareness, compassion, and a relentless pursuit of true love.
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