One basic ingredient that makes relationships work out is understanding.
Even after the will of God is known and you are sure this person is God’s perfect will for you, you still have to live to understanding each other.
Understanding is like the Space Suit the astronauts wear to make them survive in space. The atmospheric condition in space requires a special outfit that will sustain them there.
Here on earth you can survive with your tuxedo suit but not in the space.
It is therefore imperative for people in relationships to seek after understanding.
First the understanding of the relationship from God’s perspective and then seeking to understand yourselves.
Little wonder the Bible says in
Pro 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
God is telling you, get wisdom, now that you have gotten engaged, get understanding.
Without understanding and wisdom, the courtship becomes like a court where there are always arguments, criticisms, being judgmental, and the likes.
To understand yourselves you have to have basic knowledge of your temperamental differences, man and woman differences, background differences, and the personality uniqueness of each other.
For us when we were courting back then in the early nineties, once we read the book on temperament by Tim LaHaye, our level of understanding increased.
Things that used to get us angry before simply didn’t anymore because now we could understand the reason behind certain behaviors.
Now, it wasn’t that we explained away our weaknesses and character flaws, we confronted ourselves but with love and respect.
The understanding we gained just gave us another perspective helping us to see each other from a better viewpoint.
1Co 13:4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
Love basically is patient and kind.
Without understanding, you can’t be patient and kind with your lover.
May God grant you understanding in understanding your loved one in Jesus name.
May your relationship be blessed in Jesus name.
This week will be fruitful for you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the spirit of understanding
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 32:8 (KJV) But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding.
There are important things to note in the area of falling in love as singles. I will share briefly five of them.
1. Relationship or marriage does not succeed just because you are a child of God
Yes, and I mean every word of that statement. Just because you are a child of God or you can speak in tongues does not mean you understand how to accommodate another human being in your life! You can be a child of God and still be ignorant of the principles to live by. It is therefore important to note that going after knowledge and self-development is important. Make it a commitment to do yourself that good. Decide to improve yourself before falling in love.
You want to get married in two years; the question is what books are you reading in that regard? What is your temperament? Someone was once asked what her temperament was and she said, do you mean all those “sardine tins?” Well, it is not “sardine,” it’s sanguine! Relationship and marriage succeed because you work at it and you work the godly principles.
2. Being in love with a person does not translate to direction from God You can fall in love with someone and yet it is not God’s plan for your life. The direction of your feelings and emotions is not necessarily a direction from God. Yes, God can use your desires to lead you and that is why I often tell people, make sure you pray before you fall in love! Once you are in love before praying, it can really be a difficult time hearing God because your emotions are involved. There is a difference between asking God for direction and asking Him to bless your decision.
3. You will fall in love with whomever you spend time
If you don’t want to become emotionally connected to that person, don’t spend time with such person. You know that his wife has travelled, and then you go and spend hours with him regularly? Doing what? You see, the flames of emotions are going to be fanned and if you are not careful, you are going to be getting involved in what you will regret later. A married person is a “No Go” area, so why waste your time, emotions and energy on relationships that God will never approve of? Why delay what God wants to do in your life with what you feel like doing?
4. Strife will stifle you and bitterness will not make you better If there is anything you should avoid like Ebola, it is strife and bitterness. It will practically cause things to be grounded. Stay away from such, so that God’s blessing can be yours at the maximum.
5. You need God’s favour in this new month
Connect yourself to God’s covenant of favour! Favour will announce you this month! That favour of God will introduce you to new circles of relationships that will advance your life. You will not struggle this month! My God and my father will surround you with His mercy. Your husband will locate you. You will find your wife. Every spirit of delay is cursed and terminated in your life. You will carry your own children. Fruitfulness is your portion. You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. God will smile on you. He will turn His countenance upon you. He will bless you financially. Things will fall in pleasant places for you in the coming year. You will get that job. That contract will be yours!
And of Naphtali he said, O Naphtali, satisfied with favour, and full with the blessing of the Lord: possess thou the west and the south. (Deuteronomy 33:23 KJV)
You will be satisfied with favour! You will be treated well. You will not be cheated. You will advance. God will fill your mouth with laughter. He will heal every hurt and wound and give you a double blessing for every trouble. Get ready for a great time ahead in God, it is your time, it is your season! It is your season of falling in love!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My relationship is blessed. I know what to do in the area of falling in love.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for divine wisdom in the area of falling in love.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Deut 33:23 (NLT) Moses said this about the tribe of Naphtali: “O Naphtali, you are rich in favor and full of the LORD’s blessings; may you possess the west and the south
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read books on relationship and marriage
Happy New Month to all KHC Partners and members. This month, the angel over this commission will avail for you in Jesus name.
The devil is a liar; you will get to God’s destination for your life
The devil only fights what he fears! Contrary to the common belief, that something is wrong with you when you have many challenges, it may actually be the opposite.
It may actually be that you have so many challenges because all is well with you!
Let’s take a look at Joseph first.
If it were to be today’s world, wouldn’t you want to recommend Joseph for a high-grade deliverance session? Wouldn’t you conclude that the man is cursed and the spirit of retrogression is fighting him? Wouldn’t you want to say that out of all his father’s son, he was the most unlucky, the black sheep of the family, the one that was rejected and hated, and so on?
How can someone be sold into slavery and be moved to a strange town by his brothers? Wouldn’t you say that the household wickedness of his father’s house has finished him? Then he became a slave in Potiphar’s house but didn’t last long! He was soon in the prison. Was that not a retrogressive and stubborn demonic attack?
What about David? Anointed as a king in his teenage years but only sat on the throne at the age of thirty. Was that not a gang up of demonic delay against his destiny? Saul fought him to his last breath. Was that not royal hatred against him? Wouldn’t he need his head washed?
What I want you to see this morning, is that nothing was wrong with those guys, it was just a path they needed to pass to get to where God is taking them. You see all they went through was a passing phase and not a parking space!
Joseph could have missed it if he got depressed along the way but he kept on helping people and interpreting their dreams and one day, his gift made a way for him. David could have lost it with a bad attitude to King Saul, but he behaved himself wisely and he would not stop praising God!
So the most important thing in your going through to getting through is your attitude and your ability to refuse to react. It is your ability to refuse to park in your passing phase.
Nothing is wrong with you this morning. That is the word of the Lord to you!
I want to assure you this morning, that if you can do the following, your victory is guaranteed.
1. Stay away from sins, especially sexual sins Joseph ran away from Mrs. Portiphar and refused to commit adultery! If he had compromised, he would have interrupted God’s counsel over his life
But Pastor, I already made mistakes. It doesn’t matter, if you can make up your mind from this point on, God will forgive and forget and He would see you as if you never made all those mistakes! That is where His grace comes in!
2. Forgive easily Joseph was a forgiver. He refused to become bitter. That was evident when he eventually met his brothers. He was hurt, but he forgave!
3. Keep helping people While he was in the prison, the last thing he should be doing was helping others, but he kept on helping people and one of the persons he helped remembered him later and became the person God used to organize him out of the prison! I say to somebody this morning, God will organize you into royalty!
4. Never retaliate or fight back David never fought back at King Saul, and because of that God was there for him even when he made mistakes that could have cost his life.
5. Learn to praise God always David was a crazy and unrepentant God-Praiser! It showed in everything he did, and God was always with him.
The list is not exhaustive, but if you can do the above, you will come out strong. That issue will not have the last say in your life. Your baby will come! I curse the spirit of barrenness in your life this morning! Your victory is sure. You will get married. God will honor His word in your life. Don’t back out on God, because you are actually close to what God wants to do in your life.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a God praiser. I praise my way to victory. I will not park in my passing phase.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh God, give me the strength to navigate through the passing phase.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 39:2 And the Lord was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man, and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.
Our generation is beleaguered with so much pressure that believers are even compromising heavily, and yet the truth is that God will not lower or change his standard because of the peculiarity of our generation or the pressures of our environment. God’s word remains forever. Love differs from lust.
Look at the following verse:
Eph 4:17 KJV This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,’
The Spirit of God writing through Paul here says, as children of God, we cannot walk as the unbelievers walk. There has to be a distinguishing. We cannot be lumped together. Our light must shine in the midst of darkness. We must stand out. The life of God in us will not allow us to live carelessly.
Message translation says we cannot move with the crowd!
Eph 4:17 MSG And so I insist–and God backs me up on this–that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd.
You as a child of God cannot flow with the tide. Having done all, you’ve got to stand, unmoved, unshaken and unyielded to the grip of iniquity.
Verse 20 says:
Eph 4:20 KJV But ye have not so learned Christ;
That is not what we learn about Christ when we gave our life to Christ. At what point did we accommodate the devil’s antics into the program of our lives? At what point did we think that as a child of God, you can be dating three people at a time? At what point did we somehow believe that God does not mind us having emotional affairs that our spouses are not aware of?
At what point did we start combining a life of fornication with a life of leading others in worship? At what point did pastors think they can go free with sleeping with naïve church members because they are anointed? That is not how we learned Christ!
Take a look more at the scriptures:
Eph 5:1 MSG Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents.
Amplified version says to be imitators of God. How do we do that when we cannot see Him? We watch what He does by watching what He has done in His word. As we read God’s word, we learn His ways and we understand how we are supposed to live here.
Let’s look at the next verse:
Eph 5:2 MSG Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
You’ve got to learn a life of love and not a life of lust. God did not love in order to get something from us! The moment you say you are in love with a person and then you want something you can get, either money or fun, you have moved from love into lust. People ask me, how can I know whether he or she loves me? That is the answer right there!
Love wants to improve the other person’s life, not deplete it. If you are in a relationship with a person, and your Christian life goes down, watch it. God will not lead you into a relationship where all you have is the anguish of the soul, a life iniquity, and a life full of lust. You cannot tell me you love a lady whom you have impregnated thrice and paid for abortions. That is not love!
Look at the next verse:
Eph 5:3 MSG Don’t allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed.
The moment you get involved in some perversion; that is no longer love. It’s lust. How can two believers who are not married be compromising habitually? That is no longer love! If the guys end up in bullying greed, always having his way, and even quoting scripture to justify a sinful lifestyle, that is no longer love.
Let’s conclude with the next verse:
Eph 5:4 MSG Though some tongues just love the taste of gossip, Christians have better uses for language than that. Don’t talk dirty or silly. That kind of talk doesn’t fit our style. Thanksgiving is our dialect.
As children of God, you should have better uses of your mouth than gossip. Don’t join some others to tear apart your leaders after a church service. Something is not quite right with that. Stop tearing apart your Pastor’s wife.
The scripture advises, don’t talk dirty or silly. Why? That is the same mouth you are supposed to use to confess your way into what you want to possess.
Dirty and silly talk doesn’t fit our style. You cannot be using the ‘F” word and tell me God is okay with that! That is not our style. Our style doesn’t permit punctuating every word with the ‘F” word or with words like ‘Shit!’ Why? Thanksgiving is our dialect! You see it right there. All these things matter!
Conclusively, Amplified version puts it this way:
Eph 5:4 AMP Let there be no filthiness (obscenity, indecency) nor foolish and sinful (silly and corrupt) talk, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting or becoming; but instead voice your thankfulness [to God].
Call God to help you and cleanse you if you have the need to, He is always there to bail you out, if you make up your mind.
Selah!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love appropriately. I am not filled with lust
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God should cleanse you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 4:17 (CSB) “Therefore, I say this and testify in the Lord: You should no longer live as the Gentiles live, in the futility of their thoughts.”
Dear singles, It’s vital we don’t compare ourselves with one another. That is why this topic is being taught. We started yesterday and we looked at reasons you cannot compare yourself with others. You can read it here.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
Dear singles, these are the following things to do to become free from comparison traps?
1. Know who you are in God To overcome comparison traps, you have to know who you are in God! Declare your stand in God and keep confessing that.
2. Acknowledge the good things in you. The scriptures says
That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. (Philemon 1:6 KJV)
When you recognize and acknowledge every good thing in you, your gifting and talents, the communication of your faith or the effectiveness of your spiritual life will become a reality.
3. Fill yourself with God’s word To deal with comparison traps, you have to keep filling yourself with God’s word. The word of God is like a mirror.
But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. (2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV)
When you begin to read and study God’s word, you will be changed into the picture of that which God shows you in His word. You will be free from comparing yourself with other mortals.
4. Learn to praise God for all things. Learn to praise God always and appreciate Him for what He has done and what He is doing in your life! At the root of comparison trap is an ungrateful heart. As you begin to genuinely appreciate God for His mercies and His blessings, you will be severed from unnecessary pressure to compare yourself with others.
I pray for you this morning and by the Spirit of God, I declare that all wrong spirits behind competitive jealousy lose their power over you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of competitive jealousy
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Declare over your life your freedom from all wrong spirits
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (Jude 1:24 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Free yourself form all comparisons from today
