In itself, it is not a sin, but it will lead you into sin as there are dangers involved. All through the scriptures, you will never find where it says “thou shall not sleepover in the house of thy loved one.” But is it wise or expedient to do such a thing? No. since it is not wise, we can conclude by saying it is foolish. Therefore, it is plain foolishness to go and sleepover in his place when you are not married.
In life, some things are not necessarily sinful, but they can be dangerous. Using rat poison as a coking ingredient is not a sin, but the experimental cook may not live to tell the story!
1 Cor 6:12 (KJV) All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
See how message translation puts it;
1 Cor 6:12 (MSG) Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.
If you are planning to get married, and he does not pester you with coming over to stay in his place, and you know he doesn’t have other girlfriends he is using to “fill in the gap,” then he is a good man. You should respect that.
It is not that he doesn’t feel like having some jeru trip, it is because he is mature and he has the fear of God. Every man feels like tasting it, but if he never pesters you, you need to respect that. You don’t go and ask him if you can come over! You will be inviting the dangers that way.
As a lady, you need to understand how to allow God preserve your relationships so that it leads to marriage. It is not something you can do by yourself.
You will never be able to preserve or “insure” a relationship with jeru trip. It will never work, because that is not how God has instituted it.
Do you want to tie down a man with jeru trip? Well, he loses himself five minutes after. Then the next day, you will need to tie him again. You keep tying him and he keeps losing himself, and when he is tired of you, he will lose himself and go away forever!
You need to understand the basic difference between you both. A man is logical. When you make yourself available like that, he is wondering and thinking how many guys you are doing that for.
A lady, on the other hand, is relationship-oriented, so she thinks if she can offer her body, the deal is sealed. No, you just ruptured the deal, because, the one that really keeps a relationship is God. So when you displease God, things are not going to work.
I once spoke to a lady who called me on phone and lamented that there is a curse over her life because she cannot find a husband to marry.
Upon interviewing her, I saw where things went wrong. She is sexually involved with a married man, and somehow she still thinks that things will work out that way. She will go to church, pray, have vigils, and then go over to his place for jeru trap sessions!
She will never be found that way. The prayers and vigils are religious exercises that will amount to a waste of time and energy. That scenario is a combination of religious spirit and spirit of deception .
You see, there are things you do, and nothing will ever work out. It doesn’t matter how many deliverance sessions you have done or if you are the only person that cleans the whole church, if you keep going back to do what you are not supposed to do, you get God handicapped in doing what He wants to do in your life and you practically slow yourself down!
That is why the scripture says, “God is not mocked!”
You cannot corner God with some religious exercise!
In conclusion, God’s arms are ever open to embrace you and give you a new start when you genuinely repent and decide to regulate your life by His principles. Jesus told the woman caught in adultery, “I do not condemn you, but go and sin no more!
That voice is still reverberating across generations and transcending above societal norms and technological inventions, “Go and sin no more!”
Check your life and clean up. Don’t slow yourself down.
May God grant us all more wisdom!
What other dangers do you think one might be exposed to? Let’s hear in the comment section.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not disobey God in order to please a man. I am kept from the dangers of staying over.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will deliver you from the dangers out there
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. (John 8:11 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss your weaknesses with your mentor and seek advice
There is something that can promptly assassinate a promising relationship and marriage in a moment. What can that be?
It is called pride!
The reason why pride is such a dangerous sin can be found in some of these verses.
But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. (James 4:6 KJV)
Obviously, this won’t be a good place to be. When the Bible says God resisteth the proud, what that means is that God Himself will oppose or hinder a proud man.
Again you find the same thing here.
Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. (1 Peter 5:5 KJV)
In the Old Testament, Nebuchadnezzar became proud, and he was humbled, he became an animal.
In the New Testament, Herod made a prideful statement, he was eaten from inside out.
Pride is not a good commodity that should be found with you.
Do you want God to help you in life? Be humble!
It is such a thin line between humility and pride. If you are a humble person, and you know it, then you are no longer humble!
Humble people don’t say it or flaunt it, others identify it in them and talk about it.
The day you talk or boast about your humility, you already lost it, because you are now proud of your humility!
The greatest problem a proud person has is that he never owns up that he is proud. His pride will not allow him to own up that he is really proud, and even when he sometimes discovers, he is still proud of his pride!
A lot of people have lost opportunities of a godly relationship because of pride!
The picture of the person they wanted to get married to, is far from those that are showing up, so they keep on rebuffing opportunities that come their way. The problem is that after a long time, they always end up with just anybody because they suddenly wake up to the reality that age is no longer on their side.
‘My husband has to be handsome like my pastor!’ Ask your pastor’s wife to show you her husband’s picture before they got married. You will almost want to tell her that she took a risk!
I have always told people, the most important factor in deciding who to get married to is God’s direction. Physical attraction is very important as well, but that is not all to it. People change over time!
In fact, some people get handsome the older they get! While it is different for some, the older they get, the more they lose their rhyme and the magic!
You want to marry a Joseph? Would you have said yes to him while he was a slave in strange land, his destiny unsure and his dreams almost bothering on a psychological absurdity?
Would you have married him when he was in the prison, sentenced to an indefinite prison life, together in the king’s maximum prison with hardened criminals convicted of murder?
My point is that what people are now, is not what they were before!
I always tell men of God, they need to come together and do a thanksgiving service to God on behalf of their wives for saying “yes’ to them!
The woman in the scripture says, I perceive this is a man of God!’
God sees ahead and sees what you cannot see. In His wisdom and love, He seeks to lead and direct us, if we are willing to obey and stay humble, we will enter into our wealthy place and we will be fulfilled not only in marriage but in life as well.
Ask yourself, am I really proud and hindering God’s plan unknowingly?
How do you know if you are proud? Here are a few tips:
1. You have an exaggerated opinion of yourself. 2. You have an opinion of everything and anything. 3. You are critical of almost everything and anything. 4. You have a problem with accountability. You are accountable to no one. 5. You see yourself as superior to your friends. 6. You are not submissive to any authority figures, including your pastors and parents. 7. You sometimes think you don’t need God, it is God that needs you!
Ask God to help you. Ask Him to open your eyes and show you all you need to know about yourself.
Be humble enough to do that so that you will not delay yourself!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be proud
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, take pride away from my heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:5 (KJV) Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are there traces of pride in your relationship? Address it.
Gen 49:5-7 KJV (5) Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. (6) O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. (7) Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
There is nothing that kills relationships and marriages faster than what I want to write about today. Anger!
In the above verses, Simeon and Levi are brothers, but their combination was a tragedy! Both of them had anger problems. What was the eventuality? They were divided and scattered!
That is exactly what happens to two angry unrepentant people in a relationship or marriage. That relationship or marriage cannot survive it.
Look at the way the Message translation puts it:
Gen 49:5-7 MSG (5) Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. (6) I don’t want anything to do with their vendettas, want no part in their bitter feuds; They kill men in fits of temper, slash oxen on a whim. (7) A curse on their uncontrolled anger, on their indiscriminate wrath. I’ll throw them out with the trash; I’ll shred and scatter them like confetti throughout Israel.
One angry person can curse a lot of havoc, not to talk of two angry couples or couples-to-be!
Are you the type or person that is ready to fight at the drop of a hat? You need to consciously and deliberately start working on that anger problem because it can ruin precious opportunities.
There is a place for a level of anger because we are all human. There is also a place for righteous indignation. But the type of anger that is dangerous is the one that lingers unnecessarily and makes you do things you will later regret.
This type of anger is almost a stupid one because you know you will eventually regret your words and actions!
Ecc 7:9 KJV Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
Message translation is quite interesting:
Ecc 7:9 MSG Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.
I once heard Bishop Oyedepo in one of his messages, where he said he used to have anger problems until he read the above scriptures.
In the early days of our marriage, I get angry very easily. It was a kind of subdued anger, not enough for me to raise my hands against my wife! I have never done that and will never do that, no matter what! That is not a manly thing to do! It is unscriptural, and your prayers will be hindered when you raise your hands against a lady.
But, I used to be impatient. I am a quick person but my wife takes her time. I wanted to change her. When I am angry, I start lecturing my wife. After a while, I just had to change because the lecturing thing was not working. I had to learn early in marriage, to calm down when I am angry and then discuss.
Over the years, I have come to learn to smile at some of the things that get me bothered and aggravated and looking back at those years, I wondered why I had to be angry in the first place! We were not meant to be the same way! A book on temperament I read delivered me!
If you are married to someone with anger problem, here is an advice for you.
Pro 15:1 KJV A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Pro 15:1 MSG A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.
Tomorrow, I will show you practical ways to deal with anger issues in your relationship.
Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not an angry person. I am cool and level-headed. I am delivered from anger issues I might have been exhibiting.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from anger issues I have.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray against all forms of anger issues you have.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Prov 15
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When Solomon decides to write about ladies or women, you better listen. You will never be able to break his record. Seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines is a Guinness Book of Records feat.
Solomon had them all, the tall, the short, the neither tall nor short, the light complexioned, the dark complexioned, the in-between, the choleric, the sanguine, the phlegmatic, the melancholy and the ones without temperament, if there is anything like that! When Solomon sleeps with a woman, he tells her ‘see you in some two years time.’ The roster is a long one! I wondered how he fed them and how many children he had! Solomon’s harem was a whole city!
Even though he was the wisest man, at a time, he began to make mistakes and started marrying strange women. These strange women had some characteristics and he writes about them. Let’s see what he wrote.
1. God’s word has the capacity to keep you from the strange woman.
It will protect you from them. So, you must find a way out of your busy schedule to read God’s word daily.
My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye. Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart. Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman: That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words (Proverbs 7:1-5 KJV)
2. Her targets are men without understanding.
For at the window of my house I looked through my casement, And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house (Proverbs 7:6-8 KJV)
Message Translation calls them men without sense. When you see a man looking for Jericho traps with strangers, the scriptures refers to such a man as lacking understanding.
3. Her operations are usually at the night
In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night (Proverbs 7:9 KJV)
Strange women don’t sleep in the night, that is when they work.
4. There is a dressing of the strange woman.
And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart (Proverbs 7:10 KJV)
You can know a strange woman by how she dresses. Her dressing is in no way decent. The Message Translation says she is deliberately dressed to seduce! Listen to me, young ladies, never dress to seduce. Lest you be caught with a strange spirit. The purpose of dressing is never to seduce!
5. She hardly stays at home, she is always moving around, from campuses to another from cities to another.
(She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner (Proverbs 7:11-12 KJV)
The strange woman is everywhere, tempting seducing and stubbornly looking for preys.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am guided by God. I have wisdom.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will keep you from falling into wrong hands
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Talk to Wisdom as to a sister. Treat Insight as your companion. They’ll be with you to fend off the Temptress–– that smooth–talking, honey–tongued Seductress (Proverbs 7:4-5 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Check your life and make adjustments with the help of God’s Spirit
1. Do not pass the night in his house If you do, you can end up pleasing him and offending God. Losing God’s support and favor is not what anybody should experience
2. Do not succumb to any sexual pressures Stay sane. Stay strong. Do not melt like stew every time someone touches you. You are not a sexual toy. You are not a sexual object. Relationships that are sex driven do not last.
3.Do not double date Don’t welcome deception into your heart. It is a dangerous visitor. The capacity to cheat on him or her is a capacity that ends in destruction. Be faithful.
4. Do not fall into comparison traps We are all unique. We will not all take off at the same time and sure enough arrival points will be different.
2Co 10:12 (KJV) For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
5. Do not sow seed of bitterness Avoid use of wrong words. Words are spirits! Let go of abusive words, vulgar words and curse words. Speak healthy words
6. Encourage him in that which is good Be an encourager. Be a helper. Seek his advancement.
7. Seek God together and for each other Pray a lot for him. Seek for God and do it with all your heart.
Jer 29:13 (KJV) And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
8. Pay attention to your spiritual life Grow. Read. Learn. Serve.
Ask questions when you are in the presence of great people.
9. Get a mentor over your relationship. Mentors will fence off tormentors of destinies. Stay connected.
10. Avoid strife completely Strife ushers in dryness. Avoid it like a plague. Confusion lies on the bosom of strife.
Jas 3:16 (KJV) For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
May God grant more understanding on how to love God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The Lord is my helper
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for grace to love God.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 3:3 (KJV) But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
