SINGLES-How To Prevent Instability in Relationships
What is the number one enemy you should fight and resist in the remaining half of the year? It is instability!
In the scripture below, Reuben who happened to be Jacobs’ first son was described in such a way as to conclude that a great destiny lies with him.
Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power: –Genesis 49:3 (KJV)
The Amplified version puts it this way:
Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might, the beginning (the firstfruits) of my manly strength and vigor; [your birthright gave you] the preeminence in dignity and the preeminence in power. –Genesis 49: 3 (AMP)
Those adjectives show he is a man that has been endowed and endued with greatness by virtue of his position in the family. He is a man fortified for the future, with everything he needs to succeed at his beck and call.
However, the next statement in Jacob’s mouth is a complete contradiction of the aforementioned qualities. It was almost bordering on a curse, a weakness of his that led him into an abomination and then the damning consequence of his transgression;
Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; because thou wentest up to thy father’s bed; then defiledst thou it: he went up to my couch. –Genesis 49: 4 (KJV)
Another translation puts it this way:
But you are as unsteady as water. So you won’t be first anymore. You had sex with your father’s concubine in his bed. You lay on his couch and made it ‘unclean.’–Genesis 49: 4 (NIV)
You see, Reuben committed a sexual sin. But that is not even what I want you to see. I want you to see the root of it all and How To Prevent Instability in Relationships. Why would he go and do something like that?
Why would a young girl be double dating? Why would a respected woman stoop low to sleep with her subordinate? Why would a choir leader in church sleep with choir members in church?
Reuben had a weakness he refused to confront. He had an attitude to life that was wrong and yet he didn’t deal with it until the attitude pushed him into dangerous terrains.
It is a weakness of being unstable or being unsteady!
It is the number one enemy to fight in the remaining half of the year if you notice such in your life. Why is this so?
To be continued
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am steady. I am consistent.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to be consistent.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Reuben, you’re my firstborn, my strength, first proof of my manhood, at the top in honor and at the top in power, But like a bucket of water spilled, you’ll be at the top no more, Because you climbed into your father’s marriage bed, mounting that couch, and you defiled it. –Genesis 49: 3-4 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘consistency’
Eventually, one day came and God brought out Joseph from the prison. He did not just bring him out, He became a ruler!
When he was called, he did something.
Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they brought him hastily out of the dungeon: and he shaved himself, and changed his raiment, and came in unto Pharaoh. –Genesis 41:14 (KJV)
Learn to dress for your future address as Joseph did. Ladies, learn to dress well without being seductive. Don’t be overly spiritual and be careless with your dressing. The fact is that men are moved by sight, even the very spiritual guys. So learn to dress well.
Wear clothes that fit you very well. Joseph shaved and changed his raiment in order to prepare for where God is taking him. Before you complain that there is no husband, go and fix that hair, dress well and be particular about your appearance.
6. Finally, Joseph was a forgiver!
He forgave his brothers. He didn’t try to fix them or deal with them.
Now, therefore, be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life. –Genesis 45:5 (KJV)
He allowed the overall plan of God to gain ascendancy over hurts and past wounds. If your relationship, and inevitably marriage will work, you must be a quick forgiver. An unforgiving spirit can hinder you and stop God’s blessings in your life.
The one that violated you while you were little, the one that raped you, the one that took advantage of you, the one that deceived you, the one that used you and dumped you, the one that collected your money and later dumped you, the one that jilted you, the one that was double dating with you, the one that really hurt you badly, the one that slowed down your education.
The one that impregnated you and denied he never met you, the one that ditched you for a richer person, the one you sponsored out of the country and then forgot about you, the one that took your money and your esteem away, the one that stole your dignity, the one that robbed you of your innocence, the one that forcefully violated you, the one that toyed with your emotions, the one that you trusted as a pastor but manipulated you….the list goes on…forgive all of them!
Why forgive? Four reasons:
a. So that God in heaven will also forgive you.
b. So that your heart can be unclogged and you can move on.
c. So that your prayers can be answered.
d. So that the adversity will eventually become an advantage!
Mention their names, and say, so so… I forgive you!
That seems difficult, but do it! That is how to move forward in life. Let go and let God!
I pray for you this morning that God will help you to forgive those you need to forgive! Free yourself. Let your soul escape like a bird out of the snare of the fowler.
If you need to cry to do that, please do, but forgive! God will wipe your tears away and you will forget the shame of your youth!More Lessons From The Life of Joseph
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I forgive. I am a forgiver! I will not clog my heart with hurts and bitterness
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray and ask God to give the grace to be a quick forgiver
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt. –Genesis 45:8 (KJV)
Well, some people would say he was careless and that if he had hidden his dream, he would not have gone through the ordeals of the pit and then being sold into slavery.
However, I also want you to know that if he had not verbalized his dream, he might not have been sold into slavery and he might not have been transported into Egypt from where he eventually fulfilled his destiny! Talk about God using perceived enemies to fulfill His counsel over your life!
Hear me well this morning! God is using some of the people you hate right now and you think don’t like you to achieve His overall plans for your life! In the end, you will see how everything will eventually add up! Before you fight the person that jilted you, why don’t you wait for the unveiling of the new person God is bringing your way? You will thank him or her later for breaking your heart!
Learn to talk faith and not doubt. Learn to say what you want God to do and not what you are going through in your relationship or as singles. It is a spiritual principle! Say what you will like to happen and not just what has happened or what is happening!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a dreamer. I will not stop dreaming!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the strength to say No in the face of compromise
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 39:2 KJV And the LORD was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.
COUPLES – How To Show Respect To Your Spouse – Part 2
What are the practical ways to show respect to yourselves in marriage?
1. Know that your spouse is so very special before God. Your spouse is bought with the precious blood of Jesus. Jesus would have come to die for your spouse alone.
2. Do not yell at your spouse. You may be angry but never yell.
3. Allow freedom of expression. It is okay to be different. That’s why you married in the first place. Men and women are meant to be different.
4. Let your spouse feel safe, secure, and trusted by building mutual respect.
5. When you have opposing opinions which will happen most times, you listen. Your listening shows respect.
6. Respect that your spouse is worth listening to. He/ she has something vital to bring to the table.
7. Allow healthy space when it is needed, it shows respect. Let your spouse be by him/herself, have her own friends, her own things etc
8. Do not control one another. Your relationship is unhealthy when there is the slightest control. God asks us to love, not control. Jesus never controlled the church.
9. Both spouses should admit once they are wrong and sincerely seek forgiveness. Swallow your pride and admit you are wrong and apologize.
10. Never treat one another shabbily, in private or public. Show appreciation for every little thing your spouse does. Don’t take each other for granted.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY my marriage is blessed in all ramifications.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will enable you to pay the price for the fullness of His blessings in your home.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 13:4 [AMP]Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
We all know the story of Joseph and I will like to bring out some salient truths by the Spirit of God as it relates to relationships and marriage.
What God did in the life of Joseph is what you could call a ‘crazy miracle.’ God did not just make him an important man in Egypt, a strange land, he actually became a father unto Pharaoh!
It is like God making you a father unto the King of Dubai! It is as crazy as that! How did Joseph get there? What kind of a person is he?
(4) And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you. And they came near. And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt. (5) Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life. (6) For these two years hath the famine been in the land: and yet there are five years, in the which there shall neither be earing nor harvest. (7) And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.(8) So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt. – Gen 45:4-8 KJV
Here are things to learn
1. Joseph was a dreamer
Never stop dreaming about your life and future. After his first dream, the scripture says that he dreamt yet another dream! Don’t stop visualizing where you want God to take you to or where He has shown you that He is taking you to.
Keep hope alive! It is not out of place to visualize and pray about the kind of relationship, marriage, and home you will like to have. Don’t let the experiences of relatives and your environment suffocate or kill your dream. That nobody has enjoyed his marriage in your family does not mean that would be your experience! No!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a dreamer. I will not stop dreaming!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the strength to say No in the face of compromise
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 39:2 KJV And the LORD was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man, and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.
