When it comes to choosing the right partner, I hear people say a lot. I want a God fearing man. He or she must be a Christian [I wonder if you want to consider an unbeliever before]. I want someone who can demonstrate the gifts of the spirit, and so on.
While you may be entitled to your choice, there is an important factor I would love you to consider in your prospective fiance or fiancee.
Marriage is a whole lot. It would be wise for you, if you can, to reduce the issues you would face in marriage.
When the bible says you should not be yoked with unbelievers, it is to your advantage. Apostle Paul says marriage comes with additional stress in an already stressful life. How do you want to add that to a partner who doesn’t share your spiritual values?
Back to my discourse, the very first thing I feel you should consider before saying yes is integrity. Does this person have integrity? Is he or she a person of his/her words? Do they mean yes when they say yes?
When the disciples were to choose the seven deacons, the first criteria was honesty.
Acts 6:3 [KJV] Wherefore, brethren, look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business.
They chose integrity before they mentioned being full of the spirit.
Acts 6:3 [AMP] Therefore, brothers, choose from among you seven men with good reputations [men of godly character and moral integrity], full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this task.
What does that tell you?
Don’t be swayed by the gifts of the spirit you see manifesting in that person’s life. Check for integrity. Check for honesty. You can’t afford to get married to someone who doesn’t value truthfulness.
Even God honors His words above His name. That is integrity!
Ps 138:2 [NKJV] I will worship toward Your holy temple, And praise Your name For Your lovingkindness and Your truth; For You have magnified Your word above all Your name.
Marriage is one of life’s most significant commitments, and it requires careful preparation, self-awareness, and a strong foundation. Before jumping into this lifelong partnership, it’s essential to assess whether you’re truly ready emotionally, spiritually, and practically. Below is a quiz designed to help you reflect on your readiness for marriage. Answer honestly, and use the results as a guide for further growth.
1. Do You Have a Deep Relationship with God?
Marriage should be grounded in faith, especially for Christians. A strong relationship with God equips you to navigate challenges, make wise decisions, and prioritize love over selfish desires. If you feel distant from God or unsure about His role in your life, consider investing more time in prayer, Bible study, and spiritual growth before committing to marriage.
2. Can You Communicate Effectively?
Healthy communication is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. Are you able to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly? Can you listen actively without becoming defensive? Misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts can strain relationships, so mastering communication skills is crucial before tying the knot.
3. Are You Emotionally Mature?
Emotional maturity means understanding and managing your emotions while showing empathy toward others. Do you handle stress well? Can you take responsibility for your actions and apologize when necessary? Emotional immaturity can lead to unhealthy patterns in marriage, such as blaming, controlling behavior, or avoiding tough conversations.
4. Do You Know Yourself Well?
Self-awareness is vital for building a healthy marriage. Are you clear about your values, goals, strengths, and weaknesses? Do you understand what you bring to the table—and where you might need improvement? Knowing yourself helps ensure that you enter marriage as a whole person, not someone seeking completeness through another.
5. Are You Financially Responsible?
Money is one of the leading causes of conflict in marriages. Do you have a basic understanding of budgeting, saving, and financial planning? Are you free from excessive debt or reckless spending habits? While no one expects perfection, being financially responsible demonstrates maturity and readiness to manage household responsibilities together.
6. Have You Resolved Past Hurts?
Unresolved issues from past relationships or family dynamics can resurface in marriage if left unaddressed. Have you worked through any lingering pain, trauma, or bitterness? Healing these areas ensures that you don’t carry unnecessary baggage into your new life together.
7. Do You Share Core Values with Your Partner?
While differences can enrich a relationship, core values like faith, family, career, and lifestyle priorities must align for long-term harmony. Do you and your partner share similar beliefs about raising children, finances, and commitment to God? Compatibility in these areas lays a solid foundation for lasting love.
In conclusion, if you answered “yes” to most of these questions, congratulations—you’re likely ready for marriage! However, if some areas need improvement, take the time to grow and prepare. Remember, entering marriage prematurely can lead to unnecessary struggles. Trust God’s timing, and invest in yourself and your relationship. After all, a successful marriage isn’t just about finding the right person—it’s also about being the right person.
The fact that God Himself instituted marriage is enough reason that your marriage will be great if you cooperate with Him.
He originated and instituted it. It was His idea, he was the one who said:
Gen 2:18 (KJV) And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
God started the idea of marriage. It is wise to consult Him all the way! He has the template. He owns the blueprint. Forget about being romantic, go after His wisdom if you want to have a great relationship or marriage.
2. Go for knowledge
It is not enough to be a Christian or a believer, you have to go for knowledge in the place of marriage!
In schools, you learn, graduate, and get a certificate. In marriage, you get a certificate on the day you resume, and then the learning begins. You never graduate; you keep learning, and you must be open to learning and adjusting all the way. In marriage, you cannot insist on your own!
3. Get Mentors
Who is your relationship mentor? Who is your marriage mentor? This is important to avoiding the tormentors of life!
Those who have been married for several years have done what you are trying to do! It is a lot of wisdom to have somebody you are talking to!
Beware of an intending spouse who has no authority figure over him or her!
That is not a good sign!
4. Don’t joke with Prayers
The last reason I want to discuss today to ensure you have a great relationship or marriage has to do with prayers.
Pray very well and pray very hard!
Pray at all times committing your ways unto the Lord!
Acknowledge God in your prayers concerning your decisions!
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Let’s be real—relationships are hard work. But sometimes, guys, you might be doing things that leave your wife feeling less than seen. Not exactly what you’re going for, right? So let’s dive into a few things she’s wishing you’d stop ASAP (and yes, this could be the game-changer you need).
1. Ignoring Her Emotional Needs
Okay, guys, let’s get into it. One of the biggest complaints wives have? Feeling emotionally neglected. No, this doesn’t mean grand gestures 24/7, but more about tuning in to what matters to her. Like, when she’s stressed or feeling down, and you’re zoned out or not picking up on her vibes, that can feel isolating.
2. Taking Her for Granted
Pro tip: Start by being a better listener. I’m talking about active listening. When she’s talking, don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Pay attention, nod (yup, nodding helps!), and for the love of all things good, put down your phone. Try asking her open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about that?” to get the convo flowing. Emotional support doesn’t always need a solution—it needs presence.
If your wife is juggling life like a pro—managing work, home, maybe even kids—and you’re just assuming that’s all part of the deal without a thank you, she’s going to feel invisible. And guess what? Feeling unseen is one of the quickest ways to erode love and respect in a relationship.
Take the time to notice what she does, whether it’s prepping dinner after a long day or making sure the bills are paid on time. A simple “thank you” goes a long way. Oh, and try surprising her—offer to take care of the laundry or plan a date night. Small actions like these build big points.
3. Leaving All the Chores to Her
Look, no one loves chores, but they’re a necessary evil. What’s worse, though? Dumping it all on your wife. Imagine carrying the weight of keeping the house running day in and day out—alone. Yeah, that’s how a lot of wives feel when their husbands don’t pitch in.
Hack this: Make a chore schedule. Seriously, writing it down helps keep everyone accountable, and no one feels like they’re getting the short end of the stick. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or taking out the trash, sharing responsibilities builds teamwork (and saves her from feeling like she’s pulling double duty).
4. Being Unreliable and Breaking Promises
Trust is the bedrock of marriage, and being unreliable can chip away at it fast. We’re not talking about the big promises, like forgetting your anniversary (though don’t do that). It’s the little things, like saying you’ll help with something and then forgetting. These small letdowns add up.
Be realistic about what you can commit to. Don’t make promises just to make her happy in the moment—only to bail later. If something does come up and you can’t follow through, be upfront. Honesty builds trust. And when you do mess up? Apologize quick. A genuine “I’m sorry” and a plan to fix it goes a long way.
5. Constantly Bringing Up the Past
We’ve all made mistakes, but if you’re the type who drags up old arguments or past slip-ups every time you’re upset, it’s gotta stop. It’s exhausting and stalls growth. Plus, it keeps your relationship stuck in a negative loop—how can you move forward if you’re always looking backward?
Pro move: Focus on now. When an issue arises, address it in the moment, then let it go. No one wants to be reminded of that thing they did wrong five years ago, especially your wife. If necessary, have a heart-to-heart where you both lay things out on the table and then agree to put those past grievances to rest. Move forward together.
6. Trying to Change Her
Look, you fell in love with her for who she is, right? Trying to mold her into someone she’s not is a one-way ticket to resentment town. Whether it’s little habits you want to change or something bigger, like her career choices or interests, it’s a no-go.
Embrace her quirks, celebrate her strengths, and love her as she is. Wanting your partner to grow is one thing, but pushing them to become someone else entirely? That’s where things can go off the rails. Marriage thrives on mutual respect, not on trying to fit each other into a mold. Love her in all her realness—imperfections and all.
Time to Level Up
Now that you’ve got the inside scoop on what not to do to your wife, it’s time to take action. The good news? It’s all doable. Small shifts in how you show up emotionally, in daily tasks, and how you communicate can transform your relationship.
Ready to be the husband she brags about? Start putting these tips into practice, and watch how your connection strengthens. What’s one change you’ll make this week? Let’s chat in the comments!
Final Thought: Marriage isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up for each other, every day, in the ways that matter most.
Hey there, ladies! Have you ever wondered what makes a man tick? What do they really want in a partner? Today, we’re going to dive into the top 10 qualities that men desire in a woman. And trust me, it’s not just about looks or physical attraction. There’s so much more to it!
1. Confidence.
Let’s face it, guys love a woman who exudes confidence. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about embracing your imperfections and owning them with poise. Confidence can be sexy!
How can a woman develop confidence? Firstly, a woman can build confidence by:
a. Focusing on what she’s good at and what she’s achieved.
b. Being kind to herself and taking care of her physical and emotional needs.
c. Surrounding herself with God, His Word, and with people who support and encourage her.
The Scripture declares in 1 Peter 3:3-4 that “What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes, but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.”
2. Intelligence.
Men are drawn to women who can hold their own in a conversation. This is one of the Qualities That Men Desire. They love a good debate, a witty remark, or a clever joke. So, don’t be afraid to show off your brainpower, ladies! A man wants a lady who he can talk to and engage in friendly banter and conversations.
Why do men leave a big and clearer television at home to go and watch a global match in a club in a less comfortable environment? It is because of those friendly conversations and banters! Ladies, develop yourself! Know one or two things about the club he loves. Learn to sustain conversations!
Men are attracted to women who are curious and interested in learning and who can hold intelligent conversations and share their own insights.
Proverbs 18:15 says “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.”
To develop your intelligence as a lady, here are a few things you can do:
a. Read widely and often, exploring different topics and interests.
b. Engage in conversations with people from different backgrounds and industries.
c. Take classes or workshops to learn new skills and expand your knowledge.
d. Ask questions and seek to understand different perspectives.
3. Empathy.
Empathy is one of the Qualities That Men Desire in a Woman. Guys appreciate a woman who can understand their struggles, validate their emotions, and offer support. Be that safe haven for your partner, and watch your relationship flourish!
Men crave emotional connection and intimacy, just like women do. Men often feel like they’re not being heard or understood, especially when it comes to their emotions.
When a woman can understand and validate a man’s emotions, it breaks traditional gender roles and stereotypes, allowing for a more equal and balanced relationship. These are some reasons why men crave such a woman who can provide these.
This is why it is good to pray to God before making marital decisions. There are some ladies who lack these qualities and yet they are on their way to developing them. In other words, they didn’t have it yet, but they inherently have all it takes to be that kind of woman.
You see people change with time. A man has to be discerning. Conversely, there can be a woman who seems to possess these qualities, and yet it would be fleeting and temporary. When pressures come, she melts like a pot of stew!
Pray and pray very well to be led by God in making your decisions! Only God knows who will love you now and would still love you in another thirty or forty years!
