We don’t like waiting. Singles hate waiting for the right person; couples hate waiting for a change in their partner. But love, real love, always passes through seasons of delay.
Abraham waited for Isaac. Hannah waited for Samuel. Joseph waited for freedom. Yet in the waiting, God was forming something deeper than desire—He was forming trust.
Singles, don’t rush the waiting season. God is not punishing you; He’s preparing you. Waiting is not wasted when it builds wisdom.
Couples, be patient with the process. You may not see change today, but growth often happens quietly, beneath the surface. Keep watering your relationship with prayer and kindness, even when you don’t see instant fruit.
Love that endures waiting becomes stronger. It stops being about timelines and becomes about trust.
In God’s hands, delay is not denial—it’s development.
Not every relationship feels balanced. Sometimes one person gives more, prays more, forgives more. Singles often face this tension while dating someone who seems less invested. Couples experience it when one spouse feels they’re carrying the emotional or spiritual weight alone.
But here’s the truth: love will never always be 50/50. Some days it’s 80/20, other days 40/60. What matters is whether both people are committed to closing that gap when they can. What matters is whether both are giving their 100% whilst striving to do better.
However, my dear singles, if you constantly feel like the only one giving, kindly step back and assess. Love shouldn’t drain you before it blesses you.
Married couples, here’s for you: instead of keeping score, focus on building balance. Communicate. Appreciate what your partner does, even if it’s not in your preferred way. Encourage growth rather than resentment.
God’s love toward us is always greater—and that’s our model. We keep giving, but not foolishly; we love, but not blindly.
This article on avoiding bitterness is a continuation of yesterday’s discussion.
4. Hand it over to God.
There are wounds human words cannot heal. Sometimes the hurt is too deep, or the other person is unwilling to make peace. This is where bitterness tries to creep in strongest. But instead of letting it take root, this is when you pour it out before God. He has the ability to carry what you cannot. He binds the wounds you cannot touch and gives strength to forgive when your heart feels empty. Without God, bitterness hardens us. With God, bitterness loses its grip.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3
5. Keep your heart soft.
Bitterness hardens the heart. A hardened heart is quick to snap, slow to love, and blind to grace. But a soft heart is tender, forgiving, and open to healing. In relationships, a soft heart is not naïve — it is wise enough to know that keeping bitterness out is more important than winning an argument. Staying soft means constantly remembering how much God has forgiven you, and letting that mercy shape how you respond to others.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32
Conclusion
Bitterness is not just about what someone did to you — it is about what you allow to grow inside you afterward. Left unchecked, it can destroy friendships, ruin marriages, and close doors to love. But when you guard your heart, seek reconciliation, practice forgiveness, lean on God, and keep your heart soft, you break free from the prison bitterness builds.
Choosing not to be bitter does not mean you were not hurt — it means you refuse to let hurt define you. That is how you keep your soul free, and that is how you keep love alive.
Avoiding Bitterness in Relationships and Marriages
When a marriage becomes strained by conflict, unmet expectations, or harmful behaviors, it’s natural to wrestle with difficult questions: Should I stay and endure the challenges, or is it time to leave? The decision to remain in a troubled marriage or walk away is deeply personal and often fraught with emotion. However, as Christians, we are called to approach this dilemma through prayer, wisdom, and reliance on God’s Word. Let’s explore how to navigate this complex issue with grace and discernment.
1. Understand God’s Design for Marriage
Marriage is a sacred covenant ordained by God (Malachi 2:14). It reflects Christ’s relationship with the Church—a bond meant to be enduring, sacrificial, and redemptive. While divorce is permitted in cases of sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9) and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15), Scripture emphasizes perseverance and reconciliation whenever possible.
Before making any decisions, consider whether your struggles fall within biblical grounds for separation or if they stem from misunderstandings, sin patterns, or unresolved conflicts that can be addressed through effort and counseling. Leaving should never be the first option—it should only follow sincere attempts at restoration.
2. Evaluate the Nature of the “Nonsense”
The term “nonsense” can encompass a wide range of issues—from minor annoyances to serious offenses like abuse, infidelity, or addiction. Minor irritations require patience and forbearance (Colossians 3:13), while more severe problems demand immediate attention and protective measures.
Ask yourself:
Is my spouse willing to work on our issues together?
Are there signs of repentance and a desire for change?
Am I facing behavior that threatens my safety or violates God’s principles?
If the nonsense involves physical, emotional, or spiritual harm, staying may not be healthy or godly. In such cases, seeking professional help, legal protection, or temporary separation may be necessary to ensure safety and accountability.
3. Commit to Prayer and Seek Wise Counsel
Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” Before deciding to leave or stay, bring your situation before the Lord in prayer. Ask Him for clarity, strength, and guidance. Surrender your desires and fears to Him, trusting that He will lead you toward His best for your life.
Additionally, seek counsel from mature believers, pastors, or Christian counselors who can provide objective insight. Avoid isolating yourself or relying solely on emotions when making such a significant decision. A trusted community can offer perspective and support during this challenging season.
4. Consider Efforts Toward Restoration
God delights in restoring broken relationships. Hosea 6:1 reminds us, “Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces, but He will heal us; He has injured us, but He will bind up our wounds.” If both spouses are willing, pursue reconciliation through humility, forgiveness, and intentional steps toward healing.
This may involve:
Attending marriage counseling together
Setting boundaries to address harmful behaviors
Practicing forgiveness without enabling destructive patterns
Committing to personal growth and spiritual renewal
However, restoration requires mutual effort. If one partner refuses to acknowledge the problem or take responsibility, reconciliation may not be possible—at least not immediately.
5. Know When to Set Boundaries
In some situations, staying in a toxic environment may do more harm than good. Abuse—whether physical, emotional, or verbal—is never acceptable and contradicts God’s command to love and honor one another (Ephesians 5:28-29). Similarly, chronic unfaithfulness or substance abuse can create an unsafe and unstable home.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean giving up on your marriage—it means prioritizing your well-being and protecting yourself and your children, if applicable. Temporary separation or other interventions may be necessary to create space for reflection, repentance, and potential restoration under healthier conditions.
Deciding whether to leave a marriage or cope with its challenges is one of the hardest choices anyone can face. As you weigh your options, remember that God values unity and redemption, but He also cares deeply about justice, safety, and wholeness. Lean on Him for wisdom and surround yourself with godly counsel.
Ultimately, the goal isn’t just survival—it’s thriving. Whether you choose to stay and fight for your marriage or step away to protect yourself, trust that God is with you every step of the way. Psalm 34:18 assures us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” No matter what path lies ahead, His grace is sufficient to sustain you and guide you toward healing and hope.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
There are days when love feels like a lot to handle. Not because your feelings have changed, but because you’re tired. You’re putting in the effort, showing up, trying to communicate, praying, overthinking, making adjustments, and still, there’s this tension. Something feels off, and you can feel it.
This part is not often talked about. When you’re trying to love someone the right way, it stretches you thin. It’s not about a big disagreement or some obvious issue; it’s the emotional toll of striving to be consistent, patient, forgiving, and open all at once. It can start to feel overwhelming.
That’s why this scripture resonates with me so well, it says;
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair.” — 2 Corinthians 4:8 (NIV)
Paul wasn’t necessarily addressing relationships here, but this verse really speaks to them. Love can sometimes feel like a heavy load. When you love someone, especially in a way that reflects God’s heart, it will expand what you can handle. And every now and then, it makes you wonder what’s really going on.
So Why Does It Feel This Heavy?
Here are three reasons love feels heavy, even when it’s genuine:
1. God uses love to grow you.
It sounds good in theory, but in real life, it means you’re going to be stretched. To love someone well, you need patience, self-control, humility, and forgiveness, and those qualities don’t just appear out of the blue. They develop through struggles. True love will expose parts of you that might still be selfish, reactive, insecure, or scared. That’s not a failure but a sign of growth.
2. You’re carrying more than just the present.
Often, the pressure isn’t solely about what’s going on right now. It can stir up past experiences. Maybe it’s a fear of being hurt again or a response to something traumatic. Perhaps your need for control is rearing its head. So, the pressure isn’t just emotional, it’s layered.
3. You’re trying to love from your own strength.
We tend to do this more than we realize. When you try to love without refreshing your spirit through God, you often end up feeling drained. What starts as effort can morph into resentment. Care becomes anxiety, and soon your relationship feels more like a burden than a joy.
Tomorrow, I will tell you what to do when love feels heavy. Don’t miss it.
