In today’sdevotional, we’ll be looking at “Overcoming Your Marital Challenges Through Patience”. We may have so many ‘buts’, but one thing remains which stands sure and that is you are married.
Yes, married for life and married till death do you part. But marriage requires a lot of patience, hard work, and some more patience. This is what we need to overcome marital challenges that will come our way.
Like the movie, I and my husband saw some time ago. It was a pathetic story of a young lady who married her high school lover, got married against the advice of her sisters all in the name of love. She kept spending all she had for this guy who kept on promising things will be better.
She was the one funding the guy’s education and finally when she thought the guy would get a job to help her, he was busy with a project. The lady worked two jobs just to make ends meet. They spent all her mum’s money left for her till they were bankrupt.
This guy couldn’t get a job because he was an ex-convict. He devoted all his life to his project with the promise things will get better. The lady was frustrated. And one day out of her frustration decided to file for a divorce coupled with the fact that she suspected him of adultery.
After eighteen years of waiting for all his wonderful promises, she decided to call it quit. She was tired and frustrated. After some months of the lady giving upon him, his project hit it big. Her once not so good for nothing husband became a millionaire. She tried to get back but it was too late.
Her ex-husband was married to the same lady she accused him of having an affair with. She went through a season of guilt, shame, jealousy, and rage. All the things her ex-husband promised her were now to be enjoyed by another woman.
She loves her husband but… she could no longer wait. She was frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed. She could no longer wait and she had wrong advice from her sisters.
Please, whatever you are going through in your marriage, know that with a lot of patience you can overcome. You will still have your dreams come through. Don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t be like this woman who eventually killed herself out of jealousy. She labored but another ate the fruit of her labour. That will not be your portion
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be wait for your salvation in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:12 (KJV) Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin today to acknowledge the person of the Holy spirit.
A point of frustration could be deliberate or not. But if one is faced with the reality of your spouse frustrating you, what do you do?
Well, in this kind of situation, you just have to exercise patience. Have a lot of understanding and don’t react. Reacting will mean retaliating or giving it back to your spouse in the same coin or measure it is given to you.
If the frustration is as a result of some form of sickness or disease, you just have to pray to God for healing and the strength to bear your spouse’s burden.
You may be frustrated because you are not a patient person or because of temperamental differences, background differences or simply male – female differences.
If you are newly wedded, your frustration could be out of misunderstanding of the things you don’t like. Especially if you had a long distance courtship or relationship. The tendency is to want to either retaliate or withdraw from the source of your frustration or pain. Please don’t do this.
In marriage, you and your spouse are a team. United you stand and divided you fall. Know that whatever comes, you are still married and you intend to still remain married.
Let your point of frustration drive you positively to seeking help, change of character and into seeking God. You can start to pray for your spouse every day consciously. Lift your spouse up in prayer and it will be to your account.
When you are also at the point of frustration, don’t keep silent on each other and don’t seek friendship outside of the marriage. Some have done this and regretted their actions. This will only draw a big gap between the two of you. The more you grow apart, the more the gap grows and the more things get difficult.
Just know that marriage requires constant working at it. It requires daily commitment, communication and patience. There are times when all is well and rosy like heaven. There are other times when you just have to keep the flame ablaze and fan the flames.
The bottom line is, don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation. The frustration you are facing is only temporary. That phase will definitely fade away.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not frustrate my spouse. I am patient with him/her.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for grace to be patient with your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Genesis 2:24, KJV “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t give up on your marriage
Couples, Tend Your Marriage. I liketo view marriage as a garden. Your marriage needs time, attention, care, being sensitive and gentle, and above all skill and patience. No matter what is planted in your garden, whether vegetables or flowers, it requires your attention. If you are not ready to give your garden time and attention, don’t bother planting a garden.
You must enjoy and love being around your garden for it to blossom. You can not treat your garden like you do farmland where a lot of farming is allowed. A garden is a personal assignment. You give it the time and attention it requires.
Never use the same principle you use in working the farmland on your garden. It won’t work because they are totally different. Many couples are making this mistake. They love the beauty of flowers but want to apply the method they use in planting cassava.
For your cassava, just make a heap, cut your cassava stem, stick it into the soil and you can go to sleep for the next several weeks. Your cassava does not need any special attention or focus. But not so with your garden.
You know sometimes, I wonder why, some marriages don’t reach their full potential despite the good heart of the couples. Some of them might be anointed. I heard pastor Benny Hinn, a man of God I so much love and respect said the main reason for his divorce was that he didn’t give the marriage the needed attention. Thank Gracious God they are beautifully restored now and doing very well.
I can not but wonder why? how? I guess God is so much principled that He will honor His word. The principle you work is what will work for you. Sometimes we need to slow down and give the needed attention our marriage requires. There is no point wishing your spouse were a ‘cassava’, if your spouse is a ‘rose flower’.
You better change your techniques and tools. If your spouse is a ‘rose flower’, get your hand gloves, hand trowel, watering can and get to work. You may not sweat it out like in the farm but you will be required to gently tend your garden. Each requires different skill.
However, if you stubbornly stick to the farming method you prefer you will not get the best of it.
Tomorrow, I will show us how we can tend our marriages.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will blossom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me the wisdom I need to tend my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Son 4:16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
The issue of honor in marriage is critical. A marriage where there is no honor is no order. The wife does what she likes and the husband does what he likes. The marriage is not governed by any rules. Christ is not at the center of the home.
We must understand that God instituted marriage. He is the one who said it is not good that man be alone.
He has an original plan and purpose for all marriages. Each marriage is unique. Each home has its own unique pattern. Each marriage has its own unique place in the heart of the Father.
Honor is thus a way to invite the Lordship of Jesus Christ into our lives.
Couples must learn the honor code at all cost. Without honor, nothing will work in the home.
Here are three major areas you honor your spouse
1. Honour your spouse by giving preference to Jesus in your marriage
Giving preference to Jesus is giving Him the leadership in your home. Let Him take the lead. It is seeking to find out what Jesus would do in every situation.
2. Making sure that the marriage works.
It includes doing everything possible to see that you forgive yourselves.
3. Making sure that you are patient with each other.
Everything in marriage has two sides to it.
In anger, calm down.
May God bless our marriages!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will honor my spouse daily
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to stay focused on you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Col 2:2 (MSG) I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. Then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God’s great mystery.
